Essential QuestionWhat is your strategy for dealing with conflict?
EngageIn what ways can conflict be positive orhelpful?
Have a StrategyOften our responses during conflict are out ofhabit or reaction.Insults, threats, getting physical are oftenreactions that are not thought out.
GamesIn games, we have a strategy. A strategy is aplan of action designed to achieve a goal.Having a strategy is a way to avoid justreacting.When we react, we let others control us. Whenwe have a strategy, we take control.
ScenariosUsing poplett, pages or keynote, develop astrategy for dealing with one of the followingscenarios.Trace through several possibilities - what if theother person responds by escalating theconflict? what if they de-escalate the conflict?
Ground RulesSome ground rules for our scenario are: Fighting is a lose-lose. It is likely to get you in trouble and or hurt. Always assume that fighting is a losing strategy. Be clear on your goal. Are you trying to ‘win’ the conflict? To end it? What goals do you have for the given scenario?
scenario 1There is a person in your class that is alwaysbothering you - teasing you, nudging you,being disrespectful towards you in front ofothers. Today they have decided to insult howyou walk. How do you respond?
Scenario 2Your locker is right next to someone who canbe a bit of a bully. At times you are afraid toeven go near there when the bully is around.How can you address the situation so youdon’t end up late for class?
Scenario 3Someone you hardly know is always punchingyou in the arm as they walk by in the hallway.At first you thought it was an accident, andthen just messing around, but now it is startingto feel like the person is just being deliberatelymean. What is your strategy?
A-B-C-DRemember these A-B-C-Ds for having astrategy in conflict resolution A. Avoid potentially negative situations. B. Be calm and collected C. Communicate clearly and confidently. D. Determine your goals.
AAvoid potentially negative situations: Don’t push into situations that are likely to create conflict, to escalate a current issue, or to cause other problems. Be especially aware in chaotic areas - hallways, lunch room, recess, etc.
BBe calm and collected. As we discussed last week, be calm and collected. Use strategies for calming - deep breaths, create additional space, count upwards, change your body position
CCommunicate clearly and confidently. Use “I” messages, not “you” messages. You messages tend to escalate conflict - “you are always bothering me”, “you need to stop”, “you are a dummy”, etc. I messages tend to deescalate conflict - “I am frustrated”, “I just want to get to my locker”, etc.
CCommunicate clearly and confidently (part 2) Clarify as you go - make sure you understand what the other person is saying and repeat back your understanding to them “It sounds like you are really mad at me” Use conversation starters, not enders. Avoid yes/no questions - ask the other person what they think, what ideas they have.
DDetermine your goals It is important to act with purpose - otherwise you are simply reacting. Ask yourself some simple questions - what do you hope to gain from this conflict? Is it necessary? What would you consider to be a good outcome?
ExitEmail your strategy to your Home Baseteacher. Be prepared to discuss your strategies!