A mother is the truest friend we have

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A mother is the truest friend we have

  1. 1. “A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; whenadversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickensaround us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels todissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”― Washington IrvingMOTHER STORYA mother has not slept for three days and nights watching over her sick child. When shecloses her eyes for just a moment, Death comes and takes her child. The motherrushes into the street and asks a woman, who is Night, which way Death went."Death walks faster than the wind and never returns what he has taken.""Tell me which way he went and I will find him!"Night tells her to go into the forest, but first the mother must singevery lullaby that she has ever sung for her child. In the forest, a thorn bush tellsher which way to continue, but only after she has warmed the bush by pressing itto her chest, causing her to bleed. The mother then reaches a lake that carriesher across in exchange for her eyes, which she cries out.The now blind mother reaches the greenhouse where Death cares for theflowers and trees, each one a human life. Here the mother finds the little sickplant that is her child, recognizing it by the sound of its heartbeat. The oldwoman who helps care for the greenhouse tells her, in exchange for her hair,that when Death comes, she must threaten to rip up the other flowers. Death willthen be afraid for he must answer to God; only God decides when the plants arepulled up and planted in the garden of Paradise, where we do not know whathappens.Death comes carrying the child and when he asks the mother how she couldhave gotten there before him, she answers, "I am a mother." She threatens to ripout two of the flowers, but when Death asks her if she would make two othermothers as unhappy as she is, she immediately lets go.Death gives her back her eyes and asks her to look into a well. Here she seesthe futures of two children, one full of happiness and love, the other full of miseryand despair. He says that one of these futures would be the future of her child,were it to live.Then the mother screams in fear, "Which is my child! Rather carry my childinto Gods kingdom than allow it to suffer such a life."Death says, "I do not understand. Do you want your child back or should I carryit away into the unknown?"And the mother wrings her hands, gets down on her knees, and prays to God:"Do not listen to me when I ask against your will! Do not listen to me, do notlisten to me, do not listen to me!"
  2. 2. And Death leaves, carrying her child into the unknown land.hild Sent to BedA small boy is sent to bed by his mother...[Five minutes later]"Mom...""What?""Im thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?""No. You had your chance. Lights out."[Five minutes later]"Mom...""WHAT?""Im THIRSTY...Can I have a glass of water??""I told you NO! If you ask again Ill have to spank you!!"[Five minutes later]"Mommm...""WHAT??!!""When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a glass of water?"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mother’s Day Thoughts and QuotesThe advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson.Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is notnecessary to human life.Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didnt have anything to dowith it.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Mom Would Never Say"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?""Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too""Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery""Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, its good for another week""Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. Ill be glad to feed and walk him every day""Well, if Rahuls mamma says its OK, thats good enough for me.""The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. Its not like Im running a prison aroundhere.""I dont have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve""Dont bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"
  3. 3. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Grandma on the PlaneFor two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told himabout her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo albumof all nine of the children.She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on hergrandchildren."Oh, Ive done all the talking, and Im so sorry. I know you certainly havesomething to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We have new BabiesFor weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the babybrother or sister that was expected at his house.One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore,he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever hasbecome of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Best Place for SiblingWhen Ayush had a new sister, he became envious of the attention she wasgetting. One day while his mother was nursing the baby, Ayush was gettingunyielding about being on moms lap. Mom wasnt able to deal with both childrenat that time and told Ayush to go wait for her. He then asked his mom: "Mommy,can you please put Shreya back in your tummy now?"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Teacher is ThankfulSon: “Mom, teacher was asking me today, if I have any brothers or sisters whowill be coming to school.”Mom: “That’s nice of her to take such an interest in you. So what did she saywhen you told her that you’re the only child, my dear?”Son: “She just said…“Thank goodness!”-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Its Time to go to SchoolOne early morning, a lady went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. Its time to
  4. 4. go to school!"Son: "But why Mom? I dont want to go."Mom: "Give me two reasons why you dont want to go."Son: "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"Mom: "Oh, thats no reason to not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."Son: "Give me two reasons why I should go to school."Mom: "Well, for one, youre 52 years old. And for another, youre the Principal!"The Church LadyThere was a little old lady who was very spiritual who would step out on herporch every day, raise her arms to the sky and yell, "Praise the Lord"One day, an atheist bought the house next door to her, and hebecame very irritated with the spiritual lady. So after a monthor so of her yelling, "Praise the Lord" from her porch, he would gooutside on his porch and yelled back, "There is no Lord."Yet, the little old lady continued. One cold, wintry day,when the little old lady couldnt get to the store, she wentout on her porch, raised her hands up to the sky and said,"Help me Lord, I have no more money, its cold, and I have nomore food."The next morning, she went outside, and there were bags of food on the porch,enough to last her a week. "Praise the Lord," she yelled.The Atheist stepped out from the bushes and said, "There isno Lord, ha ha ha, I bought those groceries!":) (Hold on . . the ending is VERY good!).The little old lady raised her arms to the sky and said,"Praise the Lord, You sent me groceries and you made the Devilpay for them!"
  5. 5. 5 NUNS IN TOWNSisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & MaryKathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patricks Cathedral in New York City and weresight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditionalgarb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuiresPub for a cold soft drink.Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of thefashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying theirCokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the frontdoor.They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at whatthey saw.AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...Billys homework assignment was to think of a truestory with a moral so he goes home and thinks about itall night. He finally has one!The following day, Suzy raises her hand first and says, "My Dadowns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs into abasket and onto the truck. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump andall of the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road".
  6. 6. Church GossipIrene, the church gossip, and self appointed monitor of the churchs morals, keptsticking her nose into other peoples business. Several members did not approve of herextra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being analcoholic after she saw his old blue pickup parked in front of the towns only bar oneafternoon. She emphatically told George, and several others, that everyone seeing itthere would know exactly what he was doing.George, a man of few words, stared at her for a few moments and just turned andwalked away. He didnt explain, defend or deny! He said nothing!Later that evening, George quietly parked his blue pickup in front of Irenes house ....walked home .... and left it there....all night!The teacher asks for the moral of the story andSuzy replies, "Dont put all of your eggs in onebasket".THOSE WHO WAIT UPON THE LORD
  7. 7. After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery.I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in thewindow were a host of goodies.I felt this was no accident, so I prayed ... "Lord, its up to you, if you want me to haveany of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of thebakery."And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good!"Next is Lucy. "Well, my Dad ownsa farm, too, and every weekendwe take the chicken eggs and putthem in the incubator. Lastweekend, only 8 of the 12 eggshatched. The moral of my story is,"Dont count your chickens beforethey hatch".
  8. 8. Billy is the last to speak. He says, "My Uncle Ted fought in the VietNam War. His plane got shot down over enemy territory. He jumpedout, before it crashed, with only a parachute, a machine gun, amachete and a bottle of bourbon. As he floated down, he drank thebourbon. Unfortunately, he landed smackdab in the middle of of 100 NorthVietnamese Soldiers. He shot 70 of themwith his machine gun, but then he ran out ofbullets. So he pulled out his machete andkilled 20 more. But the blade broke. So hekilled the last 10 with his bare hands.The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asksif there could possibly be a moral to hisstory.Billy replies - - - "Dont mess with my UncleTed when hes been drinking".WILL IT BE HEAVEN OR HELL?While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck anddies.His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance."Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so were not sure what to dowith you.""No problem, just let me in," says the man."Well, Id like to, but I have orders from higher up. What well do is have you spend one
  9. 9. day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choosewhere to spend eternity.""Really, Ive made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator."Im sorry, but we have our rules."And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevatorand he goes down, down, down to hell. The doorsopen and he finds himself in the middle of a greengolf course. In the distance is a clubhouse andstanding in front of it are all his friends and otherpoliticians who had worked with him.Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. Theyrun to greet him, Shake his hand, and reminisceabout the good times they had while getting Rich atthe expense of the people.They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancingand telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is timeto go.Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter iswaiting for him."Now its time to visit heaven."So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving fromcloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have agood time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns."Well, then, youve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose youreternity."The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would Never have said itbefore, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
  10. 10. Now the doors of the elevator open and hes in the middle of a barren land coveredwith waste and garbage.He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bagsas more trash falls from above.The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I dontunderstand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf courseand clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and hada great time. Now theres just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends lookmiserable. What happened?"The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today youvoted."

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