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How To SUCK At Email Marketing


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Follow these 10 rules to create email marketing that really sucks. Or, learn from these mistakes and become a marketing superstar.


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Published in: Business

How To SUCK At Email Marketing

  1. 1. IL GEN ERIC MA SS MA F TO YOUR STUF E NTIR E LIST OUR Y E WANTS EVERYON (BECAUSE K E RECIPE ) FRUIT CAInstead, segment your list andcreate different versions of eachemail campaign that are tailored tospecific industries or titles.
  2. 2. W RITE LONG S THA T GO E MAIL FOR P AGES ON ) AT HELL O ME (YOU LOSTInstead, make your point in 10sentences or less. Better yet, doit in less than 5 sentences.
  3. 3. SOL UTION SELL YOUR HE E MAIL IN T Y A NEW HOUSE) U ERE TO B (CLICK HInstead, create low-pressurecalls to action, such as a requestfor an appointment or link to alanding page on your website.
  4. 4. ENDLE SSLY TALK OURS ELF & AB OUT Y COM PANY YOUR ARE THE MOS T OU D) ( BE CAUSE Y T HE WORL PE RSON IN INTE RESTINGUnless you’re the Dos Equis Guy, recipientsdon’t want to hear about you. Instead, senduseful information like tips, trends, andbest practices that will help them.
  5. 5. PERS ONAL LY SE ND IM ON AILS E EM PORAT AHBLAH.COM) COR BL @ (FROM: NOREPLYInstead, send emails on behalf of eachsales or customer service person so therecipient can reply directly to the Rep whomanages the relationship. Be “huggable.”
  6. 6. K A S TUPID AS R HETOR ICAL QUESTION UESTIONS?) Q ED DUMB B EING ASK(DO Y OU HATEInstead, don’t be gimmicky andfocus on stating your purpose.
  7. 7. EMA IL TO E XPECT THE W ORK D O ALL FO R YOU T) , 1 BASKE (10 EGGSInstead, follow up with a phonecall when appropriate and blendemail with other marketing tactics(singing telegrams are nice).
  8. 8. A LI ST OF ATTLE OFF R DUCT URES & PRO FEAT TION FORMA Z DISPENSER) IN PE N THE HUMA (BEHOLD,Instead, focus on a single,primary benefit or result youcan deliver. Keep it simple.
  9. 9. TE SU BJECT CREA THAT LOOK LINES LIKE SPAM 01% OFF!) 1 E TRIAL, RE (SU BJECT: FInstead, create subject lines thatbuild curiosity or leverage whatyou know about the recipient.
  10. 10. OF B ULLET USE LOTS D CR EATE POIN TS AN L ISTS ONG L ET ME BULLET L ? LO VE THEE (HO W DO I E WAYS ) POINT THInstead, make sure the theemail is more conversationaland less formal.