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How to be a Hostage Negotiator, Close More Marketing Deals and Deal with Problem Clients - Trusted Conf

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Learn proven hostage negotiation techniques applicable to any situation. From getting a pay rise to finding a way to release 20 hostages from Filipino terrorists. A summary and how-to crash course taken from Chris Voss's book - Never split the difference. Take your negotiation style and skills to new levels and apply to everyday client disagreements we all have so many problems with. 

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How to be a Hostage Negotiator, Close More Marketing Deals and Deal with Problem Clients - Trusted Conf

  1. 1. 1 How to be a hostage negotiator, close more marketing deals and deal with problem clients Using skills proven by years of successful FBI hostage negotiation Jack Booth
  2. 2. 2 2 Foreword ● Account Manager at In Marketing We Trust ● Problem Solver ● Paid Media Strategist ● Hawaiian Shirt Connoisseur ● Hostage Negotiator
  3. 3. 3 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 3 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  4. 4. 4 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 4 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  5. 5. 5 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 5 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  6. 6. 6 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 6 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  7. 7. 7 7 “A successful negotiator has to get everything they ask for, without giving anything back of substance, and do so in a way that leaves your counterpart feeling as if they have a great relationship” - Chris Voss
  8. 8. 8 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 8 These ideas aren’t mine! CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● Ex-FBI Lead International kidnapping negotiator (only ever one) ● Harvard Business school Lecturer on Negotiation ● Author - “Never Split the Difference” - How-to book ● Which is what you’ll learn today!
  9. 9. 9 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 9 The New Rules CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● 1971; George Giffe Jr - Aircraft hijacker killed 2 hostages, his wife, the pilot and himself when the FBI lost patience and shot out the fuel tank. Leaving him no choice but to go kamikaze.
  10. 10. 10 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 10 The New Rules CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● 1993; David Koresh - Cult leader of Branch Davidian, believed he was the Messiah - had a 51 day negotiation standoff with the FBI which after negotiations failed ended in 51 members and himself burning themselves alive, at his request.
  11. 11. 11 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 11 CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE The New Rules
  12. 12. 12 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 12 CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE The New Rules - We are all irrational
  13. 13. 13 13 “Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.” - Chris Voss
  14. 14. 14 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror - The Late night FM DJ voice CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  15. 15. 15 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror - The playful/positive voice CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  16. 16. 16 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror - The Authoritative voice CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  17. 17. 17 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  18. 18. 18 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE Four steps to confronting someone and getting your way without seeming like you’re confronting them: ● Use the Late Night FM DJ voice ● Start with “I’m Sorry” ● Mirror your counterpart’s words and actions ● Be silent. Wait for the response ● Repeat
  19. 19. 19 19 “Mirrors are the closest thing for negotiators to a jedi mind trick. Repeat the last three words of what someone says. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what's similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding, encourages empathy, keeps people talking allowing time to regroup and listen for more details of their strategy” - Chris Voss - Never split the difference
  20. 20. 20 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 20 Don’t feel their pain - Label It - Tactical Empathy CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
  21. 21. 21 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 21 Don’t feel their pain - Label It - Labeling CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “You don’t need to feel that way, the entire team just wants to help out and arguing about it, isn’t worth the energy.” Bad response: Very judgemental. Tells the subject how not to feel, minimizing and ignoring their feelings that are apart of who they are.
  22. 22. 22 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 22 Don’t feel their pain - Label It - Labeling CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “You seem pretty discouraged about the design of the homepage being changed, it doesn’t seem fair with the amount of work you’ve put in” Good response: It identifies the hurt that underlies the anger and adds the idea of justice, this can lead to the counterpart beginning to think about other ways of getting justice.
  23. 23. 23 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Beware of “Yes” - Master “No” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE NO I am not yet ready to agree You make me feel uncomfortable I don’t understand I’d prefer talking to someone else I need more information I can’t afford it
  24. 24. 24 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Beware of “Yes” - Master “No” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE YES YES YES Counterfeit Confirmation Commitment Fake Yes to get because party feels afraid to say “No” Normal yes to a black and white situation A real Yes with value attached
  25. 25. 25 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 25 The Two Words That Immediately Transform any Negotiation CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “That’s Right” You understand me I trust you I feel like you are a good fit I like talking to you I think this deal makes sense I feel you can deliver what I want
  26. 26. 26 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 26 The Two Words That Immediately Transform any Negotiation CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “It seems like you would push this deal through if you had assurance that the results would be provided and you’d get a return on your investment” “That’s Right” Label their own words Your assumption Paraphrasing their requests
  27. 27. 27 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Bend Their Reality CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “FAIR” A great negotiator needs to be seen as fair But fair is projection of what you assume the other to think You need to create the rules of what others think is fair
  28. 28. 28 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 28 Bend Their Reality CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE Anchor Emotions Don’t go 1st Establish a Range Sweeten with gifts “I got a lousy proposition for you” “Why don’t we start with what you think is fair?” “At companies like “X” people are normally paid between 130k - 160k” “I can’t go higher but I can throw in GOT season 6 box set”
  29. 29. 29 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 29 Create the Illusion of Control CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● How am I supposed to do that? ● How can I help make this better for us? ● How would you like me to proceed? ● How can we solve this problem? ● What about this is important to you? ● What is it that brought us to this situation? ● What’s the objective? ● What are we trying to accomplish here? ● What can we do to solve this problem? ● Why would you ever change from the way you’ve always done things, and try my approach? ● Why would you ever do business with me? Your existing provider seems great. The Calibrated Question HOW WHAT WHY Shows you want what they want but need their intelligence to solve the problem.
  30. 30. 30 30 Time for a real world example...
  31. 31. 31 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE Real Example - Your flight was cancelled because of bad weather and you have to get to Texas for a deal signing that is 100% time sensitive. You get to the airport to realise alot of angry people have also been cancelled, one of those angry people is shouting at the check-in lady in the queue before you arrive. ● You: “Hi, Wendy, i’m Ryan. It seems like they were pretty upset”
  32. 32. 32 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● Wendy: “Yeh, we’ve had a fair amount of delays because of the weather” ● You: “The weather?”
  33. 33. 33 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● You: “It seems like it’s been a hectic day” ● Wendy: “There’ve been a lot of irate customers you know? I mean i get it, even though i don’t like to be yelled at. A lot of people are trying to get to Austin for the big game” ● You: “the big game?” ● Wendy: “UT is playing Ole Miss football and every flight into Austin has been booked solid” ● You: “Booked solid?”
  34. 34. 34 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● Wendy: “Yeah all through the weekend. Though who knows how many people will make the flights. The weather’s probably going to reroute a lot of people to a lot of different places”
  35. 35. 35 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE You: “Well it seems you’ve been handling the rough day pretty well, I was also affected by the weather delays and missed my connecting flight. It seems like this flight is likely booked solid, but with what you said, maybe someone affected by the weather might miss this connection. Is there any possibility a seat will open?” Labeling Paraphrasing Mirror
  36. 36. 36 GET IN TOUCH jack@inmarketingwetrust.com.au linkedin.com/in/jacbooth

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