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Crucial conversations in a nutshell

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workshop on crucial conversations

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Crucial conversations in a nutshell

  1. 1. Crucial Conversations In a nutshell
  2. 2. The book A promise
  3. 3. Agenda The path to action + exercise The pool of shared meaning Mutual purpose + exercise
  4. 4. Crucial conversation? Strong emotions High stakes Opposing opinions
  5. 5. Crucial conversations model 1. The path to action Before During After 2. The pool of shared meaning 3. Mutual purpose Not now
  6. 6. The path to actionBefore Solution: Why would a reasonable, decent person do this? Observable reality Observable reality Internal mind/body processes
  7. 7. Silence Violence Masking Controlling Avoiding Labeling Withdrawing Attacking
  8. 8. Individual exercise: Exploring the path to action Fold a sheet of paper in half Remember the core of a tense conversation Start on the right half, write what you and the other person said Continue on the left half, write what you thought or felt
  9. 9. Exercise reflection: Exploring the path to action Read the right side and then look at the left side My stories: Were my questions meant to expand my understanding of the subject/situation? Acting: Was I falling into silence/violence?
  10. 10. The pool of shared meaning Common obstacles 1. Forgetting the intention of conversation 2. I feel attacked/blamed During Solution 1. Why are we having this conversation? 2. What do I really want for myself/others/the relationship? How would I behave if I really wanted these results?
  11. 11. Mutual purpose Psychological safety Safety first! Definition During
  12. 12. Establishing mutual purpose Apologize from your heart Contrast During
  13. 13. Individual exercise: Contrasting Think of a recent conversation in which you felt misunderstood Write down what you said and the reply that you got Use contrasting to reply (I don’t want…, I do want...) Write down your contrasting statement
  14. 14. Tools to start using right now Keep filling the pool of shared meaning ● Why are we having this conversation? ● What do I want for myself/others/the relationship? How would I behave if I really wanted these results? Prepare yourself by understanding your path to action ● Am I in silence or violence? ● Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person do/say this? Re-establish mutual purpose: apologize, contrast
  15. 15. I’m enthusiastic about this Feedback? A request Email: me@horiaconstantin.com
  16. 16. References and more resources Crucial Conversations Worksheet Master my stories extended - ladder of inference Master my stories exercise Crucial conversation style under stress Crucial conversation model

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