Parent keynote

486 views

Published on

I present this to parents a month before their students attend college.

Published in: Education, Self Improvement
0 Comments
0 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Views
Total views
486
On SlideShare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
145
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
1
Comments
0
Likes
0
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Parent keynote

  1. 1. My kid is going to college. . . Ryan McRae, M.Div. Resident Director, SME Faculty
  2. 2. My kid is going to college. . . (And I think I might be freaking out. . . ) Ryan McRae, M.Div. Resident Director, SME Faculty
  3. 3. Illinois State University August 20th, 1991 Walker Hall, 263 on 2-South. My room.
  4. 4. Emotions, Expectations and Easing Your Mind
  5. 5. Emotions, Expectations and Easing Your Mind • What are some things you might be feeling this summer as your student prepares to go to college?
  6. 6. Emotions, Expectations and Easing Your Mind • What are some things you might be feeling this summer as your student prepares to go to college? • Sadness
  7. 7. Emotions, Expectations and Easing Your Mind • What are some things you might be feeling this summer as your student prepares to go to college? • Sadness • Frustration
  8. 8. Emotions, Expectations and Easing Your Mind • What are some things you might be feeling this summer as your student prepares to go to college? • Sadness • Frustration • Loneliness
  9. 9. Emotions, Expectations and Easing Your Mind • What are some things you might be feeling this summer as your student prepares to go to college? • Sadness • Frustration • Loneliness UTTER AND COMPLETE JOY??
  10. 10. Say, “Yes, you’re right.” My kid will still need me, right?
  11. 11. They will just need something else.
  12. 12. They need more advice-- less action.
  13. 13. They need more acceptance, less adherence
  14. 14. They need more accountability and less authority
  15. 15. We’re glad you asked.
  16. 16. Clean a toilet.
  17. 17. Clean a toilet.
  18. 18. Cook one meal.
  19. 19. Cook one meal.
  20. 20. Use this and clean this.
  21. 21. Use this and clean this.
  22. 22. Handle a refrigerator.
  23. 23. Handle a refrigerator.
  24. 24. Know how to shop.
  25. 25. Know how to shop.
  26. 26. Handle money.
  27. 27. Handle money.
  28. 28. Play the “What If?” game?
  29. 29. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do?
  30. 30. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do? • What if your roommate is shady? What if his partner is shady?
  31. 31. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do? • What if your roommate is shady? What if his partner is shady? • What if your roommate keeps drinking out of YOUR milk carton?
  32. 32. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do? • What if your roommate is shady? What if his partner is shady? • What if your roommate keeps drinking out of YOUR milk carton? • What if you get the flu on the day of a midterm?
  33. 33. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do? • What if your roommate is shady? What if his partner is shady? • What if your roommate keeps drinking out of YOUR milk carton? • What if you get the flu on the day of a midterm? • What if your roommate plays music while you’re sleeping?
  34. 34. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do? • What if your roommate is shady? What if his partner is shady? • What if your roommate keeps drinking out of YOUR milk carton? • What if you get the flu on the day of a midterm? • What if your roommate plays music while you’re sleeping? • What if you get written up by one of the RAs?
  35. 35. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do? • What if your roommate is shady? What if his partner is shady? • What if your roommate keeps drinking out of YOUR milk carton? • What if you get the flu on the day of a midterm? • What if your roommate plays music while you’re sleeping? • What if you get written up by one of the RAs? • What if you run out of money?
  36. 36. Play the “What If?” game? • What if you don’t like your classes, what will you do? • What if your roommate is shady? What if his partner is shady? • What if your roommate keeps drinking out of YOUR milk carton? • What if you get the flu on the day of a midterm? • What if your roommate plays music while you’re sleeping? • What if you get written up by one of the RAs? • What if you run out of money? • What if your roommate snores?
  37. 37. Student’s Conduct
  38. 38. Student’s Conduct • Here are the most at risk behaviors for students:
  39. 39. Student’s Conduct • Here are the most at risk behaviors for students: • Alcohol/Drugs
  40. 40. Student’s Conduct • Here are the most at risk behaviors for students: • Alcohol/Drugs • Aiding and Abetting
  41. 41. Student’s Conduct • Here are the most at risk behaviors for students: • Alcohol/Drugs • Aiding and Abetting • Interpersonal Responsibility
  42. 42. Student’s Conduct • Here are the most at risk behaviors for students: • Alcohol/Drugs • Aiding and Abetting • Interpersonal Responsibility • Academic Integrity
  43. 43. So what happens?
  44. 44. So what happens? • A student can meet with possibly three areas of conduct here at CSUSM
  45. 45. So what happens? • A student can meet with possibly three areas of conduct here at CSUSM • Police
  46. 46. So what happens? • A student can meet with possibly three areas of conduct here at CSUSM • Police • Dean of Students
  47. 47. So what happens? • A student can meet with possibly three areas of conduct here at CSUSM • Police • Dean of Students • Resident Director (UVA)
  48. 48. What happens with the Dean?
  49. 49. What happens with the Dean? • For academic honesty, faculty determines the grade for alleged academic misconduct assignment and/ or the overall course
  50. 50. What happens with the Dean? • For academic honesty, faculty determines the grade for alleged academic misconduct assignment and/ or the overall course • (The dean has seen more academic dishonesty cases than non-academic dishonesty cases in the last 3 years)
  51. 51. What happens at UVA?
  52. 52. What happens at UVA? • We meet and go over what happened with the student; we hear his or her side of the story
  53. 53. What happens at UVA? • We meet and go over what happened with the student; we hear his or her side of the story • We conclude whether the student is responsible or not responsible
  54. 54. What happens at UVA? • We meet and go over what happened with the student; we hear his or her side of the story • We conclude whether the student is responsible or not responsible • They complete educational sanctions appropriate to what occurred
  55. 55. Why do we do this?
  56. 56. Why do we do this? • We are interested in the development of students; our interest is intervention, not confrontation
  57. 57. Why do we do this? • We are interested in the development of students; our interest is intervention, not confrontation • We are interested in the acceptance of responsibility, not “punishing a student”
  58. 58. Why do we do this? • We are interested in the development of students; our interest is intervention, not confrontation • We are interested in the acceptance of responsibility, not “punishing a student” • We look at the community standards and civility
  59. 59. Why CSUSM is like ER.
  60. 60. A thing called FERPA
  61. 61. A thing called FERPA • Family Education Rights and Privacy Act
  62. 62. A thing called FERPA • Family Education Rights and Privacy Act • Your student has a right of confidentiality when it comes to what occurs here.
  63. 63. A thing called FERPA • Family Education Rights and Privacy Act • Your student has a right of confidentiality when it comes to what occurs here. • UVA will call for an emergency medical condition
  64. 64. HelicopterParents
  65. 65. HelicopterParents • The term for a parent who is “hyper” involved is a called a “helicopter parent”
  66. 66. HelicopterParents • The term for a parent who is “hyper” involved is a called a “helicopter parent” • Other terms: Blackhawk, hovercraft, etc.
  67. 67. HelicopterParents • The term for a parent who is “hyper” involved is a called a “helicopter parent” • Other terms: Blackhawk, hovercraft, etc. • Keith McRae, my dad, the first helicopter parent. I should have called him back.
  68. 68. MY DAD!!
  69. 69. You might be a helicopter parent if. . . . .
  70. 70. You might be a helicopter parent if. . . . . • During registration, you attempted to “co- schedule” your student’s schedule.
  71. 71. You might be a helicopter parent if. . . . . • During registration, you attempted to “co- schedule” your student’s schedule. • You attempted to bribe an O-team member to find your student.
  72. 72. You might be a helicopter parent if. . . . . • During registration, you attempted to “co- schedule” your student’s schedule. • You attempted to bribe an O-team member to find your student. • You are getting a chip implanted in your student that detects alcohol consumption.
  73. 73. You might be a helicopter parent if. . . . . • During registration, you attempted to “co- schedule” your student’s schedule. • You attempted to bribe an O-team member to find your student. • You are getting a chip implanted in your student that detects alcohol consumption. • If you student does not return your phone call within 20 minutes, you call UPD.
  74. 74. • If you use the royal “We”. . . financial aid. . . . registration.
  75. 75. • If you use the royal “We”. . . financial aid. . . . registration. • You call an CSUSM office pretending to be your student. . . . we get it. We know, OK?
  76. 76. • If you use the royal “We”. . . financial aid. . . . registration. • You call an CSUSM office pretending to be your student. . . . we get it. We know, OK? • You plan on attending every academic advising appointment and you’ve already sent the advisor a friendly “bribe”: candy, a 4G iPhone. . .
  77. 77. The Big Change. . . .
  78. 78. • You may want your student to talk to you about the big things (dating, sex, beliefs, etc.) The Big Change. . . .
  79. 79. • You may want your student to talk to you about the big things (dating, sex, beliefs, etc.) • You may not need to talk to them about the small things: (laundry, roommate relations, grades.) The Big Change. . . .
  80. 80. • You may want your student to talk to you about the big things (dating, sex, beliefs, etc.) • You may not need to talk to them about the small things: (laundry, roommate relations, grades.) • BUT THEY ARE ALL BIG. . . .. The Big Change. . . .
  81. 81. • You may want your student to talk to you about the big things (dating, sex, beliefs, etc.) • You may not need to talk to them about the small things: (laundry, roommate relations, grades.) • BUT THEY ARE ALL BIG. . . .. • For now. . .but you need to pick. The Big Change. . . .
  82. 82. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling?
  83. 83. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling? •How are you feeling?
  84. 84. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling? •How are you feeling? •Sadness: Am I not supposed to be here?
  85. 85. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling? •How are you feeling? •Sadness: Am I not supposed to be here? •Frustration: Am I not trusted?
  86. 86. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling? •How are you feeling? •Sadness: Am I not supposed to be here? •Frustration: Am I not trusted? •Loneliness: Should I wait?
  87. 87. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling? •How are you feeling? •Sadness: Am I not supposed to be here? •Frustration: Am I not trusted? •Loneliness: Should I wait? What should you show them?
  88. 88. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling? •How are you feeling? •Sadness: Am I not supposed to be here? •Frustration: Am I not trusted? •Loneliness: Should I wait? What should you show them? You are proud.
  89. 89. What is your student feeling about how YOU are feeling? •How are you feeling? •Sadness: Am I not supposed to be here? •Frustration: Am I not trusted? •Loneliness: Should I wait? What should you show them? You are proud.You are proud. And so are we.
  90. 90. Ryan McRae rmcrae@csusm.edu Resident Director SME Faculty

×