The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children (175)
The Development Of Self-Discipline In ChildrenThe Young Child is constantly withheld from many of his desires by physical restrictions. We usebaby entrance, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, andbrief commands ("NO!" "indeed !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he or shesees, where he will go, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose ofprotecting the child through himself - from their own desire to seek his own may prior to an age whenhe has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to resist thatwhich is harmful to him.The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:three Foolishnessis bound in the heart of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to behavethe part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov.18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is moredangerous than allowing a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitfulabove all points, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. Seventeen :9 Being at the beginningof his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling his own desires; andalso the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than observed to contain no goodthing. Rom. 7:18 As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own worst enemy - his flesh, and twoother predatory enemies -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your son ordaughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become an outerboundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has established innerboundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (which arise from thethoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the external world and his bodys desires increases,and the pull of the inner fleshly nature becomes more demanding.There is each and every indication in the Bible that God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:5 ) andphysical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to present his body as aliving sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel,Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.).The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in many Christian schools thedrawbacks (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh theadvantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to build mental and physical self-discipline, and should be seriously considered by home school parents. Self-discipline in a school islearned through:1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. Toschool complete as well as on time.2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom split, water, etc.3. The actual delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only from lunch).4. The denial of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work.
5. The denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function.6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate during group work.7. Assignments totally dictated by the instructor.8. The denial of comfort to ones body (sitting upright on hard chairs).9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, and so on.).10. A day scheduled into definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes.The Teenage Years Rules - the to the outside barriers to speech and behavior, should, by theteenage years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:24 ); not only inthe sense associated with Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline.Correction from his parents has, by this time, trained him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ inorder to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later in the teenage years, hehas recognized that outward control (still some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance)coupled with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. Hemust eventually recognize that by himself he cant "hang on" and do correct - especially in regard inorder to emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that within me(that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but how to performthat which is good i find not. Romans seven :18Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled within speech, thoughts, and measures must nowbe directed toward one who is able to help from within his heart. If, having achieved this during theteenage many years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil.4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three TheLORD is my personal strength and my protect ; my heart trusted in him, and I am assisted : thereforemy heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trustedin his parents, a teenager should now place their trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee:be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold theewith the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10Training in Self-DisciplineYour child "trusts in [his parents] with all [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] ownunderstanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, hisflesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that might develop poorhabits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generallylives for today as a slave to their flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to direct themind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions.Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is nice,and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:192. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of thisglobe. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they mighthave had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it
are the problems of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a kids heart is the parents obligation !3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect desires of the flesh. For as he thinketh in hisheart, same with he. Prov. 23 :74. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is.30:twenty,215. Point out good examples leading to success as well as failure - from the holy bible and from life.Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: plus they are written for our admonition,upon whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 judges 14:3Mental Self-Discipline1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from topics,poems, songs, etc. Your childs education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in traininghas its place, but diligent work should be the main activity. Thou therefore endure solidity, as a goodsoldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve turmoil with thefleshly nature of your child.2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to anothers will, while at the same time traininghim to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the actualrule over you, and submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil,as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:83. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as youdo on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents andprinces, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledgeand stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52Physical Self-Discipline1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when informed the firsttime! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed behavior training (callingseveral times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:22. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:113. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the actual practicalapplication of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27The Urgent TaskThe time is short, and the times are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharply reducedin the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" that will guide yourchild for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a child with little self-discipline.Should you laugh and think that juniors undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and he will pay adear price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not anadult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is the time totrain the future grownup. View all training as preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a childto become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in belief and in character! This is the parents
responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parentspossess a great advantage in character building, but many, due to weariness or even perceivedinability, are neglecting character building while focusing on child-centered academics.It is going to be difficult to place a barrier around your childs fleshly nature. Each child will bedifferent; many will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are,perhaps, being prepared for a more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these children intheir preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.).A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard andindulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of mepersonally, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in correction anddiscipline. Train up a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov.22:6 the rewards of careful attendance to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceablefruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager!General Goals1. To build a good inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by giving consistent outerrestraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1Cor. 9:27a2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey asseeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me personally : I will teachyou the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: butfools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:73. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing that help withrestraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine ownunderstanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in themself : it is not inman which walketh to direct his steps. Jer. 10:23Specific GoalsSelf-Discipline is needed:1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:22. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :193. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. One Thes. 2:44. To learn to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. 34 :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:235. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:36. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:117. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:2,38. To learn to perform unpleasant habits.9. To have physical self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :2710. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:twenty two Phil 4:811. To keep rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28
12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:1813. To deny the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:2314. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,1215 to utilize no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:916. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek ones own will. Ps. 40:817. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:1118. To rely upon the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding.Prov. 3:519. To refuse feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings 18 :2120. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:1321. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:522. To keep in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. Three :2723. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:1124. To be accountable for ones individual name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:126. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:1027. In order to cooperate with the needs associated with others - to concede his needs for the benefitof a group. Ps. 133:128. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:229. To submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:1830. To develop a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:831. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2Daily PlanConsistent Example Be ye followers associated with me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the actual son of David, king of Israel; To knowwisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of wisdom, justice,and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man knowledge anddiscretion. Prov. 1 :1-4Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when hesold, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not reallyexecuted speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to perform evil. Ec.8:eleven Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things,though ye know them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, as long as I am in thistabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13Implementing GoalsFor each goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to seeyour goal accomplished. Follow the design of:EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.SAMPLE: Goal #1: self discipline is needed to be accountable for using time.
Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of time. Be on time tochapel, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to experience or to talk to others.Anticipate schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking,daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time and own awatch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time (withthe use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table priorto an hired time, be in from outside play at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value oftime - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines and schedules(long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness,sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen )Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, orforgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! self-discipline forwasted time when he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.)Maintaining Boundaries1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that lovethhim chasteneth him betimes. Prov. Thirteen :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but thefishing rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:152. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the obligation to do thatwhich was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old nature will be reinforced/encouraged-because thepleasures of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasant consequencesare not organized by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come when the childbecomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11)3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience(perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we would alsomake reference to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, thathe that hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it isGod which worketh in you both to may and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. Two :13Jeremiah 29