The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children (127)
The Development Of Self-Discipline In ChildrenThe Young Child is continually withheld from many of his desires by physical restrictions. We usebaby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes, aswell as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he or shesees, where he will go, and with whom he associates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose ofprotecting the child through himself - from his own desire to seek his own may prior to an agewhenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the actual Holy Spiritto avoid that which is harmful to him.The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:threeFoolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he islikely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that their heart maydiscover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" ofthe flesh. There is nothing more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover themself " at this age.The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. Seventeen :9Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless fromcontrolling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather thanobserved to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from hisown worst enemy - his skin, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the devil. Childhood isthe time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you mustbecome an external boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the child until the time that hehas established inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside barriers mustremain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech andactions (that arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the outer world and hisbodys desires increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding.There is every indication in the Bible that God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical(1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a livingsacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel,Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.).The traditional school setting offers some advantages, although in many Christian schools thedrawbacks (peer influence, poor self-discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh theadvantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to construct mental and physical self-discipline, and should be seriously considered by home school parents. Self-discipline in a school islearned through:1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. Toschool complete as well as on time.2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom break, water, etc.3. The actual delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only from lunch).4. The refusal of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work.
5. The actual denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function.6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work.7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher.8. The denial of comfort to ones body (sitting up on hard chairs).9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, and so on.).10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes.The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescentyears, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only inthe sense of Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction fromhis parents has, by this time, trained him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to savehim from eternal death in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later in the teenage years, he has recognized thatoutward control (still some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his ownemerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his skin under control. He must eventuallyrecognize that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do correct - especially in regard in order toemotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that within me (that is, inmy flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is goodwe find not. Romans 7 :18Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled within speech, thoughts, and actions must now bedirected toward one that is able to help from within their heart. If, having accomplished this during theteenage years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three TheLORD is my personal strength and my shield ; my heart trusted within him, and I am assisted :therefore my heart significantly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he assoon as trusted in his parents, a teenager should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for Iam with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes,I willuphold thee using the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10Training in Self-DisciplineYour child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] ownunderstanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, their flesh,and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that would develop poor habitsand, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives fortoday as a slave to his flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for opportunities to direct the mindtoward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions.Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is nice,and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:192. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of thisglobe. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they mayhave had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of
it are the issues of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a childs heart is the parents responsibility !3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For as he thinketh in hisheart, same with he. Prov. 23 :74. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is.30:20,215. Point out examples leading to success and failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now allthese things happened on to them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, uponwhom the ends around the globe are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3Mental Self-Discipline1. Expect mental effort - thinking, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from topics, poems,songs, etc. Your childs education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in training has itsplace, but diligent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a goodsoldier associated with Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve turmoilwith the fleshly nature of the child.2. Train your child to be subservient to anothers will, while at the same time training him to becautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the actual ruleover you, and submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary thedevil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. One Peter 5:83. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as youperform on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidentsand princes, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased inknowledge and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52Physical Self-Discipline1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when informed thefirst time! It is poor training to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed behavior training(calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:22. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflatingself-esteem). Ec. 8:113. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the practical applicationof physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27The Urgent TaskThe time is actually short, and the days are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief opportunity (which issharply reduced at the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that willguide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "enjoy " the antics of a child with little self-discipline.If you laugh and think that juniors undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and he will pay a dearprice - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult,nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train thefuture grownup. View all training as preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a young child tobecome a useful servant of the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents
responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parentshave a great advantage in character building, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability,are ignoring character building while concentrating on child-centered academics.It will be difficult to place a barrier around your childs fleshly nature. Each child will be different; manywill put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being preparedfor a more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparationby using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.).A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guardand indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even asI also am of Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition training and consistency in correction anddiscipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he will not depart from it.Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful attendance to character building are wonderful ! The "yield" isthe peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager!General Goals1. To build an inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by providing consistent outerrestraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1Cor. 9:27a2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly stands for inner restraint); and to teach to obey asseeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me personally : I will teachyou the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: butfools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:73. To encourage a total believe in in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing that help withrestraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine ownunderstanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in themself : it is not inman that walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23Specific GoalsSelf-Discipline is needed:1. To become accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:22. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :193. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. One Thes. 2:44. To understand to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. 34 :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:235. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:36. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:117. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:2,38. To learn to perform unpleasant habits.9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :2710. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:811. To keep rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28
12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:1813. To deny the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:2314. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to be content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,1215 to work with no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:916. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek ones own will. Ps. 40:817. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:1118. To rely upon the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:519. To deny feelings and choose to do whats right. 1 Kings eighteen :2120. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:1321. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:522. To continue in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. Three :2723. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:1124. To be accountable for ones individual name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:126. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:1027. In order to cooperate with the needs of others - to concede his needs for the advantage of agroup. Ps. 133:128. To maintain a Godly value system that directs every day decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:229. To submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:1830. To build up a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:831. To be able to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2Daily PlanConsistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also m of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; To know knowledgeand instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of knowledge, justice, andjudgment, as well as equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge anddiscretion. Prov. One :1-4Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he isold, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not reallyexecuted speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them toperform evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction in the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, heshall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of thosethings, though ye understand them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, aslong as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you upward by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter one:12,13Implementing GoalsFor every goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to seeyour goal accomplished. Follow the design of:EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time.
Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of period. Be on time tochapel, appointments, class, etc. Dont waste time! Ep. 5:16Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to play or to talk to others. Expectschoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking,daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time as well as own awatch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time(with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual tableprior to an appointed time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, and so on. Teach your childthe value of your time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlinesand schedules (long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with time, laziness,slothfulness, sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen )Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, ignored, orforgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! self-discipline forwasted time when he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.)Maintaining Boundaries1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that lovethhim chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod ofcorrection shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:152. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do thatwhich was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old nature will be reinforced/encouraged-because the joys of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasantconsequences are not organized by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come once thechild becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11)3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience(perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we wouldalso refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that hewhich hath begun a good work in you will perform it before day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is Godwhich worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13Jeremiah 29