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The Courage and Compassion to Change

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Keynote speech to the Northeast Home Health Superhero Leadership Summit.

Published in: Leadership & Management
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The Courage and Compassion to Change

  1. 1. The Courage & Compassion to Change @Lois Kelly Northeast Home Health Superhero Summit, Jan. 17, 2018@LoisKelly 1
  2. 2. I. Beating ourselves up @LoisKelly 2
  3. 3. PERSONAL STORY: OVER-CONFIDENCE, FEAR AND FAILURE @LoisKelly 3
  4. 4. @LoisKelly 4
  5. 5. Telling people to be fearless is superficial and lacks empathy. @LoisKelly 5
  6. 6. FEAR IS INVALUABLE DATA Signals desire or danger. Learn from it. Don’t be fearless. Have less fear. @LoisKelly 6
  7. 7. When did fear propel you to take a courageous chance? @LoisKelly 7
  8. 8. Beyond fear: what fuels courage? @LoisKelly 8
  9. 9. What I learned at Courage Camp @LoisKelly 9
  10. 10. How rebels sustain courage @LoisKelly 10
  11. 11. II. Self-compassion: the essential superpower @LoisKelly 11
  12. 12. Fear Courage Self-compassion builds our perseverance The path from fear to courage is rarely a straight shot @LoisKelly 12
  13. 13. Courage Self-compassion SELF-COMPASSION: Essential leadership trait @LoisKelly 13
  14. 14. Self-pity Self-indulgence Self-esteem Self-centered Self-confidence Selfish Self-kindness Sense of humanity Self-compassion isn’t: Self-compassion is: @LoisKelly 14
  15. 15. Self-compassion develops: Resiliency Optimism Perseverance Less stress, anxiety Open-mindedness@LoisKelly 15
  16. 16. Compassion: increases perseverance on difficult tasks by over 30 percent. Nudging the mind to be more patient and more self-less benefits everyone whom our decisions impact, including our future selves. This give us not only grit, but grace. Dr. David DeStano, Northeastern University @LoisKelly 16
  17. 17. The more self-compassionate, the less severe stress, anxiety. Resiliency may be the most remarkable benefit of self-compassion. Dr. Kristin Neff Univ. of Texas/Austin @LoisKelly 17
  18. 18. Self-compassion has all the advantages of self-confidence without the downside of delusion. Eric Barker Barking Up the Wrong Tree Self-compassionate people are better able to accept feedback and improve because of an objective view of reality. Beware the Dunning- Kruger Effect of self- confidence @LoisKelly 18
  19. 19. Honesty Perseverance Bravery Enthusiasm Self-compassion cultivates the four traits of courage. @LoisKelly 19
  20. 20. III. Developing self-compassion @LoisKelly 20
  21. 21. “I’m having a bad brain day.” “I speak to my brain as though it is a group of children. Please stop bringing this stuff up. “Deciding that internal verbal abuse is not acceptable behavior is the first step in finding deep inner peace.” Dr. Jill Bolte Tayler ”My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey” @LoisKelly 21
  22. 22. 22 REFRAME I’m so excited. Not yet. This is an adventure. @LoisKelly
  23. 23. What advice would a kind, compassionate friend give you? @LoisKelly 23
  24. 24. …or an imaginary friend? @LoisKelly 24
  25. 25. “Expressive writing is a far more powerful tool than we ever imagined." Dr. James Pennebaker Univ. of Texas/Austin ü Organizes jumble of thoughts. ü Constructs a new narrative. ü 15 minutes/4 days in a row. @LoisKelly 25
  26. 26. “We can recognize that everyone has times when they blow it, and treat ourselves kindly. “Maybe we weren’t able to put our best foot forward, but we tried, and falling flat on one’s face is an inevitable part of life. “An honorable part, in fact.” Dr. Kristen Neff, Self-Compassion @LoisKelly 26
  27. 27. Learn from your fear. Be kind to yourself. Love your courage. @LoisKelly 27
  28. 28. PERSONAL STORY: OVERCOMING A WORK TRAGEDY WITH EXPRESSIVE WRITING @LoisKelly 28
  29. 29. @LoisKelly 29
  30. 30. LOIS KELLY @Lois Kelly RebelsatWork.com Foghound.com CourageCamp.net @LoisKelly 30

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