What To Say to Build Relationships


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A collection of guides for making conversation with the purpose to build relationships: presenting yourself, managing information, making decisions, giving feedback, and others.

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  • Purpose – research in the area of career planning points to the need of building a strong understanding of oneself before making a career choice. As far back as 1909 when Frank Parson began talking about vocational counseling and how to choose the career wisely, he said that the first step should be to have “a clear understanding of your aptitudes, abilities, interests, ambitions, resources, limitations, and their causes”. More recently in a research conducted by the Harvard Business School Club of N.Y., it was found that there is a high correlation between self understanding and career satisfaction (Burton & Wedemeyer, 1991). In addition, self assessment helps you identify where you are now in terms of skills and the background you will need to achieve your career goals. Types - Self assessment will help you identify your abilities (what you can do), your values (what is important for you), your interests (what you enjoy doing), and your personality type or traits. Examples – following transpareny
  • What To Say to Build Relationships

    1. 1. What To Say:To Build Relationships Mitchell W. Manning, Sr.
    2. 2. What To Say: To Build Relationships How to use this presentation1. Review the presentation2. List key points and questions3. Discuss with others4. Decide your next steps
    3. 3. Relationship Development Continuous Improvement Design Execute Monitor/ControlDesign – determine what is really importantExecute – translate into learning and doingMonitor/Control – translate into performanceContinuous Improvement – Feedback Loop
    4. 4. Keys to Relationships• Behavioral Skills are the true keys – Presenting Yourself – Managing Information – Presenting Your Ideas – Acquiring and Transferring Knowledge and Skills – Conflict Resolution – Questioning Decisions and Actions
    5. 5. Presenting Yourself• My job is…• This is what I’m good at…• This is how I work best…• These are my values…(I value/believe…)• This is the contribution I plan to make…• These are the results I expect to deliver…• This is how I expect to be held accountable…
    6. 6. Process for Presenting Your SelfWrite your success stories for sharing using this outline... • The situation (or task assignment) • Your observation • Your decision • Your action • The result of your action • How I feel about… • What I learned,,,
    7. 7. Managing Information Become expert at processing information.Question Process to UseWhat’s happening? Situation AppraisalWhat’s wrong? Problem SolvingWhat are the options? Decision MakingWhat can go wrong? Potential Problem AnalysisWhat can be improved? Potential Opportunity Analysis
    8. 8. Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information. Situation Appraisal What’s happening? • Identify Concerns • Set Priority • Plan Next Steps • Plan Involvement
    9. 9. Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information. Problem Analysis What’s Wrong? • Describe Problem • Identify Possible Causes • Evaluate Possible Causes • Confirm True Cause
    10. 10. Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information. Decision Analysis What are the options? • Clarify Purpose • Identify Options • Evaluate Each Option • Assess Risks • Make Decision
    11. 11. Managing Information Become expert at processing information.Potential Problem Analysis What can go wrong? • Identify Potential Problems • Identify Likely Causes • Take Preventive Action • Plan Contingent Action
    12. 12. Managing Information Become expert at processing information.Potential Opportunity Analysis What can be improved? • Identify Potential Opportunity • Identify Likely Causes • Take Promoting Action • Plan Optimizing Action
    13. 13. Presenting Your Ideas Become expert using SOPPADA to present your ideas. Subject – I want to tell you about... Objective – This is why... Present Situation – This is how it is... Proposal – This is how it can be...Advantages (top 3) – These are the benefits...Disadvantages (top 2) – These are negatives... Action – This is how to do it...
    14. 14. Acquiring and TransferringKnowledge and Skills: Tell - • What (in under 30 seconds) • Why (in under 90 seconds) • How (action planning) • Example • Application • Evaluation (project management) • Summary and Next Steps
    15. 15. Addressing Performance Issues: Evaluating Others • Agreement • Plan • Process
    16. 16. Conflict Resolution Process:become expert at observing, orienting, deciding and acting to resolve conflict Observe Act Orient Decide
    17. 17. The Origin of ConflictIdentify the origin of conflict before attempting to resolve. FactsMethods Values Objectives
    18. 18. Behavioral Choices for Conflict Learn to use the best choice to resolve conflict. ConfrontCompete Collaborate Avoid
    19. 19. Work Behavior Conflict Learn to address the origin of work conflict. HighLow Shared Goals and Sense of Control and Values High Accountability Low
    20. 20. Stakeholder Conflict Company & Shareholders - Profitability - Growth - Reputation Individuals - TrustEmployee Groups - Security-Equity Balance - Fairness-Consistency Synergy - Recognition-Teamwork and Collaboration Leverage - Contribution - Growth - Pay & Benefits Customers - Price/ Value - Service - New Products - Quality
    21. 21. Conflicts from the Hierarchy of Decision-Making Executive •Direction •Goals •Critical/Sensitive Management •Systems and Processes •Major Impact/ Buy-In Individual Employees •Functions and Tasks •Routine/ Operational
    22. 22. Conflict InterventionMeet with the stakeholder Describe what they did Tell them why it is important Ask them how they feel Ask them what they will do differently Confirm their commitment to change Agree on a schedule for follow-up Thank them for their commitment
    23. 23. Conflict Prevention Share thoughts, feelings, and rationale Maintain and enhance self-esteem Listen and respond with empathy Clarify and Agree to Next Actions
    24. 24. Questioning Decisions and Actions1. Why are you doing this? making this commitment?2. What are your objectives and desired outcomes? intentions?3. How will you know it has been successful?4. What have you done to prepare?5. What can happen? worst case/best case/most likely case?6. How do you plan to make it work? keep it working?7. How important is it to you to be successful?
    25. 25. Things you can shareand learn to build relationships: Interests Skills/Abilities Values Personality attributes Desired lifestyle Needs & wants Experiences Vocation
    26. 26. Professionalism and Relations:Let professionalism be your calling card and signature. • Decide what it means to you • Examples of professional behavior – Arrive at work on time – Dress appropriately – Stay current in the field – Accept responsibility for mistakes – Complete tasks on time – Respect organizational norms – Keep personal business out of the office – Avoid gossip and the grapevine
    27. 27. ConclusionI hope you can put What to Say to immediate useto build relationships. Hopefully, my thoughts, andyour attention, have stimulated your thinking,confirmed your experiences, and given you newideas for building important relationships.Best Wishes,Mitch Manning Sr.manningmitch@aol.com