What Trusted Advisors Know & Understand!! Communication is a strategic activity!! Why smart people sometimes fail!! Relationships and connections matter!! It’s all about the frame 6
Three Goals at the Heart of All Interaction!! Task Goal: "! What do I want people to know? "! What do I want people to believe or feel? "! What do I want people to do?!! Identity Goal: "! How do I want to be seen?!! Relationship Goal: "! What type of relationship am I trying to continue or build?
Communication Styles!! Expressive –! Situations are static. –! Directness and clarity in communication. –! “Say what you think.”!! Conventional –! Situations have conventional meanings. –! Adaptive to social situations. –! “Say what’s appropriate.”!! Strategic –! Situations are created by behaviors and messages. –! Communication is a strategic tool to manage outcomes. –! “How you say what you say makes all the difference.”
How Does Each Type Approach Communication? Expressive Conventional StrategicFocus on self: internal needs. Focus on what’s demanded by Focus on self and others: the situation and how to achieve relational needs. personal goals.Generally insensitive to others. Sensitive to others when the Sensitive to others’ situation demands it. perspectives: empathetic.Managing impressions is Impression management is a Impressions are formed andmanipulative: “Take me for what I skill: “You only get one chance to reformed as we exchangeam.” make a first impression, so put information. your best foot forward.”Task is everything: “Did you get Image counts: “What do others Relationships are everything:the job done?” Everything else is think of you? Are you positioned “Mutual cooperation is long-a conversation. for success?” term success.”
What Can You Do Now to Become More Strategic?!! Constantly focus on the ideal outcome of your communication – planning task, identity, and relationship goals. (Being ‘right’ versus being ‘effective.’) –! Task: What do I want to achieve? –! Identity: How do I need to be seen? –! Relationship: What type of relationship do I need to build?!! Realize that there are no magic formulas to apply when it comes to communication.!! Ask more questions.!! Be flexible in communication, recognizing the negotiation process.!! Pay attention to nonverbal communication and address gaps between words and expressions.!! Start spending time thinking about your relationships.
TrustworthinessAssessment!! Credibility What’s the gap!! Reliability between your!! Personal Connection stakeholder’s!! Motives perceptions and!! Results reality? Based on The Trusted Advisor, by D. Maister, C. Green, & R. Galford
TrustworthinessAssessment!! Credibility How can you move the!! Reliability needle?!! Personal Connection!! Motives!! Results
Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm… Competent Competent Jerk Star Star Jerk Competence Incompetent Lovable Jerk Incompetent Fool Lovable Jerk FoolSource: Harvard Business Review, July2005 (Fool vs. Jerk: Whom Would You Hire; LikeabilityT. Casciaro & M. Sousa Lobo)
When Frames Collide…!! After attending a concert of Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony, a process guru handed the conductor the following memo: –! For considerable periods, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their numbers should be reduced and their work shared throughout the orchestra. –! All 12 violins were playing identical notes with identical motions. The staff of this section should be drastically cut resulting in immediate savings. –! Much effort was expended playing 16th notes. All notes should be rounded to the nearest eighth. This will allow the use of trainees and lower-grade operators with no loss of quality. –! No useful purpose appears to be served by repeating with horns the same passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages were eliminated, there would be significant savings in salaries and overhead. –! If Schubert had attended to these matters on a cost-containment basis, he probably would have been able to finish his symphony. 19
Framing!! All professions have their own ways of seeing the world that are “common sense” to the people in that profession.!! Most professions also have their own specialized language.!! To people outside a particular profession, the frames of reference may seem foreign and the specialized language sounds like “a bunch of confusing jargon.” 20
There’s nothing wrong with PR people talking like PR people with other PR people. 21
A Framing Exercise…Tailoring your conversation, so that you’re most effective when interacting with… A professional An HR professional from the Legal department How would you define their frames of reference? What will you say or do, or avoid saying or doing as a result of knowing the lens through which they see the world? 22
Your Key Stakeholders!! Who are they?!! What are their frames of reference?!! How are they like you (you share a frame)?!! How are they different (your frames differ)? 23
Words That Work: Communicating Beyond Your World!! Word choices take on disproportionate importance, because… …in the absence of other cues, people make judgments about us and whether or not we “get it.”!! The words we choose can foster trust or create mistrust. 24
Word ChoicesIllegal aliens Undocumented workersHarmonizing CensorshipDrilling for oil Exploring for energyRight-sizing LayoffChange initiative TransformationInheritance tax Death tax 25
The Point Is…!! While word choice isn’t everything, word choices do have significant consequences.!! We can learn to frame messages into the language of the audience that we are trying to effectively inform and influence in order to get better results.!! We Need To Ask Ourselves… 1.! What words and themes will make sense to them…will come across as plain old common sense? 2.! What are some of the words, distinctions, terms or phrases we use that are commonsense to us, but likely to frustrate, annoy, or alienate those outside our world? 26
What Trusted Advisors Do!! They build powerful networks!! They deliver feedback to inform and influence!! They strategically manage expectations!! They carefully manage the relationships that matter most!! They play the part 27
Who is this?This story is from “The TippingPoint” by Malcolm Gladwell;chapter 2, pages 30-34.
Creating Allies (or Advocates)!! The value of your network is based on: –!Number of advocates. –!Network laws and constraints.!! It is not about “working the network”—it’s about understanding how networks work.
What’s Your “Network Type”?!! Isolate –! Solitary recluse communicates infrequently, if at all.!! Most of us (Typicals) –! Communicate with average frequency to an average number of people.!! Bridge –! Communicates the same amount as others but has key relationships with people from a variety of groups.!! Star –! Communicates and maintains relationships with a significantly greater number of people than the average person.
The greatest power you have is the power to change the way someone feels.
How We Interpret FeedbackMessages1 + Positive Flattery Feedback Valence _ Constructive Insult Criticism High Low Utility
Feedback ModelsUniversal Use:!! More of…less of…appreciate most!! Continue…stop…start!! Feedforward: On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate…? What would it take to get to a x?Event Driven:!! Here’s what I observed…the impact was…and my recommendation is…
With Regard to Powerful and Attractive Markers……the best style is a blended style. Know your predominant style and learn how to use and balance these markers to achieve the desired effect as you interact with others. 100% 100% STYLE SUBSTANCE
Behaviors of a Trusted Advisor Thank you! Lynne Viscio CRA, Inc. email@example.com