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  1. 1. Every Holiday season Vicki found herself angry and silently seething at her older sister, Susie, and mother as they were merrily chatting about SusieÂ’s ... ... was no ... VMaking women cum
  2. 2. Every Holiday season Vicki found herself angry and silently seething at herolder sister, Susie, and mother as they were merrily chatting about Susie’ssuccessful life Thanksgiving was no exception Vicki had to sit stoically whileMom praised Susie’s new house, her recent promotion at work and how wellthe grandchildren were doing Not once did their mother or Susie ask aboutVicki’s life in a way Making women cum that sounded sincere to Vicki As aresult, Vicki was feeling ignored Sensing this, sister Susie tried to makecontact with Vicki by inviting her to her daughter’s upcoming graduation atwhich she would be giving the Valedictorian address This invitation put Vickiin internal turmoil While she wanted to be part of the family, there was thisinner voice telling her things like: “Sure, they talk to me when they wantsomething!” and “Why should I spend money on a gift when I’m not reallypart of the family anyhow? Besides, Susie didn’t come to my daughter’sgraduation last year ” What We Think is What We Get At this point, Vicki isgettng more upset and angry as she struggles with her inner conversation“Why do they treat me this way?” she is asking herself “They should paymore attention to me
  3. 3. They never give me credit for anything ” If someone asked Vicki what wascausing her anger, she – like most people – would say something like“It’s my family… they are impossible NOT to get mad at… theyconstantly make me angry because of the way they act toward me ” Triggerand Responses And, like most people, she would only be partially right Whileher family members may serve as a TRIGGER for her angry feelings, it is theconversation she has with herself about her family that really causes distressand angst New self-messages (or thoughts) can make the difference Ashuman beings, we have the capacity to monitor our own thinking patterns –to think about what we are thinking about – and thus change our emotionsMonitoring and changing internal conversations is an important tool for angermanagement any time of the year, but is critical around the holidays Holidaysencourage family members to interact with each other, sometimes re-ignitinglifetime dynamics and painful issues Holiday Self-Help Messages Break badhabits by choosing one, or more, tactics from the following list But remember,it takes repetition to develop these new “thought” skills: 1 Control: I don’tNEED to get defensive
  4. 4. I can stay calm and deal with it 2 Keep Cool: As long as I keep cool, IÂ’m incontrol of myself 3 My Anger is a Signal: Take the time to talk to myself andrelax 4 Limits: I canÂ’t control my relatives and in-laws They will think and dowhat they want But I CAN CONTROL how I express my feelings 5 SurvivingCriticism: If my family criticizes me, I can survive that
  5. 5. Nothing says I have to be perfect 6 Reality: The way my family sees meisn’t necessarily the way I am Their perceptions may be totally wrong 7Toleration: This visit will soon be over I can hold on for a bit more 8Acceptance: I have to accept that my family may not treat me the way I wouldlike – but I can live with that 9
  6. 6. Independence: Nothing says I have to live up to the expectations of myparents or relatives 10 Reality Check: Maybe I am over-reacting to what theyare saying I understand my anger or insecurity may come from outdatedfeelings 11 Inner Strength: I don’t need to doubt myself; what they saydoesn’t HAVE to upset me I’m the only person who can make me upset orcalm 12 Time Out: Before my angry outburst, I will take a “time-out” to cooloff, think about these things and calm myself Article Tags:
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