Don Draper has left the building. No creative team, no focus group, and no medical miracle workers at your beck and call: welcome to the world of medical marketing translation – a veritable jungle of multisyllabic pharmacological buzzwords, 140-character limits, and culturally opaque content. This is a challenging field for linguists, who must engage both the right and left brain to master the science of creating artful, engaging, and medically accurate copy. Translators must be prepared to draw on a broad skill set to walk the fine line between pharmacochemistry expert and marketing genius. In this workshop, we will explore the challenges of terminology, linguistic mutation, and brand-specific proprietary terms. Then, we will use sample translations to investigate interlinguistic wordplay, language-specific tone and voice, and production and regulatory constraints. We will also use word-association exercises to improve linguistic dexterity and creative wordsmithing.