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Dr. Mark Goulston
contact: info@markgoulston.com
www.markgoulston.com
Mark Goulston, M.D., Inc.
Talking to Crazy
What make...
4
James Hilliard
Hilly Productions
Moderator
5
Type questions and
comments
6
@GoToAssist
@markgoulston
@hillyprods
Follow us
7
Mark Goulston
President
Mark Goulston, M.D., Inc.
Presenter
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
8
What causes burnout more?
1. Too much work to do
2. Difficult people
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
9
What you’ll learn from this webinar
1. Why irrational people get to you
2. Why they behave the way they do
3. How to dea...
10
Burnout - Wikipedia
Burnout is a type of psychological
stress. Occupational burnout or job
burnout is characterized by ...
11
Are You Burned Out?
Circle the Items that apply to you
1. I find myself less eager to go back to work or to resume my c...
12
1. Why (and how) irrational people get to you
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
13
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
14
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
15
So why and how do irrational people get to you?
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
16
2. Why irrational people behave the way they do
1.To get out of doing something
2.To get you do something you might not...
17
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
The Sanity Cycle
18
Tools and Tactics
Ready, Aim… (Let Them) Fire
1. Identify irrational/difficult people
ahead of time
2. Never expect the...
19
9 Common MO’s of Irrational People
THE NINE MOST COMMON M.O.’S OF IRRATIONAL PEOPLE,
AND YOUR TYPICAL RESPONSES TO THEM...
20
contn’d - 9 Common MO’s of Irrational People
IRRATIONAL PERSON’S M.O. THEIR BEHAVIOR YOUR REACTION
HOPELESS/WITHDRAWN
H...
21
Tools and Tactics
“Oh F#@& to OK” Speed Drill
1. Oh F#@& - Reaction Phase
2. Oh Gawd – Release Phase
3. Oh Geez – Recen...
22
The Three L’s
1.Lean In
2.Look at the Reality
3.Lead the Person into the Future
Tools and Tactics
www.markgoulston.com ...
23
Tools and Tactics
FUDN
1. Frustrated
2. Upset
3. Disappointed
4. Now what?
www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgouls...
24
Tools and Tactics
Assertive Submission
Bared teeth beget bared teeth,
A bared neck begets vulnerability under the crazy...
Q & A
Mark Goulston
President
Mark Goulston, M.D., Inc.
How’d we do?
Please fill out the
survey that opens after
you leave the webinar
27
Thanks for attending
Thank you!
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GoTo Assist - Talking to Crazy - What makes people tick and how to avoid ticking them off

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Dr. Mark Goulston discusses how and why irrational people get to you and what you can to do calm yourself down and deal with them.

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GoTo Assist - Talking to Crazy - What makes people tick and how to avoid ticking them off

  1. 1. Dr. Mark Goulston contact: info@markgoulston.com www.markgoulston.com Mark Goulston, M.D., Inc. Talking to Crazy What makes people tick and how to avoid ticking them off
  2. 2. 4 James Hilliard Hilly Productions Moderator
  3. 3. 5 Type questions and comments
  4. 4. 6 @GoToAssist @markgoulston @hillyprods Follow us
  5. 5. 7 Mark Goulston President Mark Goulston, M.D., Inc. Presenter www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  6. 6. 8 What causes burnout more? 1. Too much work to do 2. Difficult people www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  7. 7. 9 What you’ll learn from this webinar 1. Why irrational people get to you 2. Why they behave the way they do 3. How to deal with irrational people PLUS, Start feeding us your most challenging interpersonal challenges during the webinar and you’ll get tools and specific tactics you can use today in the Q & A and in our follow up www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  8. 8. 10 Burnout - Wikipedia Burnout is a type of psychological stress. Occupational burnout or job burnout is characterized by exhaustion, lack of enthusiasm, and motivation, feelings of ineffectiveness, and also may have the dimension of frustration or cynicism, and as a result reduce efficacy within the workplace. www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  9. 9. 11 Are You Burned Out? Circle the Items that apply to you 1. I find myself less eager to go back to work or to resume my chores after a weekend. 2. I feel less and less patient and/or sympathetic listening to other people's problems. 3. I try to get away from people as soon as I can. 4. My dedication to work, exercise, diet, and friendships is waning. 5. I am falling further behind in many of the responsibilities in my life. 6. I am losing my sense of humor. 7. I find it more and more difficult to see people socially. 8. I feel tired most of the time. 9. I don't seem to have much fun anymore. 10. I feel trapped. Now, add up the number of items you circled, and check your score below: 1 to 3: More exhausted than stressed out 4 to 6: Beginning to stress out 7 to 8: Probably stressed out 9 to 10: Probably burned out www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  10. 10. 12 1. Why (and how) irrational people get to you www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  11. 11. 13 www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  12. 12. 14 www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  13. 13. 15 So why and how do irrational people get to you? www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  14. 14. 16 2. Why irrational people behave the way they do 1.To get out of doing something 2.To get you do something you might not want to do 3. To take advantage of you 4.To prevent you from catching onto something they’re hiding www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  15. 15. 17 www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com The Sanity Cycle
  16. 16. 18 Tools and Tactics Ready, Aim… (Let Them) Fire 1. Identify irrational/difficult people ahead of time 2. Never expect them not to act irrationally 3. Hold some of yourself back so you’re never blindsided www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  17. 17. 19 9 Common MO’s of Irrational People THE NINE MOST COMMON M.O.’S OF IRRATIONAL PEOPLE, AND YOUR TYPICAL RESPONSES TO THEM IRRATIONAL PERSON’S M.O. YOUR REACTION EMOTIONAL Emotional people believe that they need to vent or they’ll explode. So they cry, scream, and slam doors. They tend to overpower you because they’re willing to escalate a situation to a point that’s unbearable for a sane person. You may try to mollify these people by giving in to them so you can stop the unending emotional upheaval—or you may become so tired of it all that you just try to escape from them. LOGICAL/PRACTICAL These people think they’re in control only when they stick to the facts. As a result, they become terse, cold, and condescending. They tune out anything that seems illogical, and nearly always view displays of emotion as “acting crazy.” You may start feeling and acting more emotional and angry in response to these people’s dry and logical statements and the way they cut you off with icy logic.They also have a way of causing you to feel ashamed of even having feelings. MANIPULATIVE/NEEDY These people believe that to be in control, they need something from you that they can’t supply for themselves. So they whine, wheedle, and make excuses. If you suggest ways that they can help themselves, they’ll say, “Yes, but...” If you don’t give them what they want, often they will try to control you by making you feel guilty. When these people are unrelenting, you may transition from feeling guilty and frustrated to feeling annoyed, put-upon, and ashamed of your deep desire to say something mean to them. You may give in to them just to get rid of them— even though you know they’ll just come back for more. FEARFUL Fearful people feel like they’re constantly surrounded by threats. When triggered, they lash out wildly like a frightened dog. They also appear able to be much more comfortable being perched between fear and panic (because they are there so often) than you These people evoke in you a nearly constant need to reassure them, which eventually gets exhausting and makes you resent them. If you go the extra mile to walk them through fearful situations, you’re likely to find yourself becoming a regular crutch because they can’t or won’t move a step without you. www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  18. 18. 20 contn’d - 9 Common MO’s of Irrational People IRRATIONAL PERSON’S M.O. THEIR BEHAVIOR YOUR REACTION HOPELESS/WITHDRAWN Hopeless/withdrawn people feel that the world will only hurt them, so their M.O. is to hide from it. No matter how hard you try to convince these people that they can be happy in the future, they’ll spend enormous amounts of energy trying to convince you that you’re wrong and that nothing will work. These people’s negativity may leave you feeling frustrated, sad, and a bit hopeless yourself. Trying to help them increases your chances of becoming part of their downer cycle as they suck the energy out of you. MARTYRED Martyrs make a point of refusing to ask for help, even when they desperately need it. These people initially make you feel guilty for not helping, even though they won’t give you a chance. Over time, however, their martyr act can make you feel annoyed and exasperated. BULLYING Bullies believe they’re in control only if they’re making you fearful and submissive. That’s why they actively attack, threaten, or belittle you. The more afraid they make you feel, the more powerful they feel. These people make you feel scared, intimidated, weak, and powerless—as well as angry. You may strike back, steam inside, or simply retreat and ruminate about what you could have done instead. KNOW-IT-ALL Know –it-alls like being the only subject matter expert on any topic, even if they’ve never “been there or done that.” They will find cracks in any idea you offer, even if it’s correct. They know that if they can make you feel stupid, you’ll lose confidence and often back off and become submissive. So their M.O. is to belittle, mock, or condescend to you. These people may make you feel small, insignificant, less than, not good enough and sometimes ashamed—as well as resentful. SOCIOPATHIC These people (who technically are sane, but often are irrational in a unique way you’ll read about later) are hiding secrets. Their M.O. is to terrify you so you won’t find out what those secrets are (or worse yet, expose them to the rest of the world). These people will make you feel afraid and even “creeped out.” www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  19. 19. 21 Tools and Tactics “Oh F#@& to OK” Speed Drill 1. Oh F#@& - Reaction Phase 2. Oh Gawd – Release Phase 3. Oh Geez – Recentering Phase 4. Oh Well - Refocusing Phase 5. OK – Reengaging Phase 3. How to Deal with Irrational People www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  20. 20. 22 The Three L’s 1.Lean In 2.Look at the Reality 3.Lead the Person into the Future Tools and Tactics www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  21. 21. 23 Tools and Tactics FUDN 1. Frustrated 2. Upset 3. Disappointed 4. Now what? www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  22. 22. 24 Tools and Tactics Assertive Submission Bared teeth beget bared teeth, A bared neck begets vulnerability under the crazyness www.markgoulston.com contact: info@markgoulston.com
  23. 23. Q & A Mark Goulston President Mark Goulston, M.D., Inc.
  24. 24. How’d we do? Please fill out the survey that opens after you leave the webinar
  25. 25. 27 Thanks for attending
  26. 26. Thank you!
  • JessieSze

    Aug. 15, 2019
  • JessieSze

    Aug. 15, 2019
  • JessieSze

    Aug. 15, 2019

Dr. Mark Goulston discusses how and why irrational people get to you and what you can to do calm yourself down and deal with them.

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