The practicalities of taking control


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Dennis presents at the Australian Dairy Conference 2010; Sea Change; See Change

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The practicalities of taking control

  1. 1. Taking Control – The Practicalities Dennis Hoiberg Consultant 03 96455200 0418 384 619
  2. 2. What I want to talk about • What’s in it for you to take control? • What is resilience? • Developing a resilient mindset • Listen to your “little voices” • The art of making decisions • The need for a Plan B • Maintaining your energy levels
  3. 3. Some Quotes about taking Control (1) Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make – both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself Robert F. Bennett
  4. 4. Some Quotes about taking Control (2) “A desire to be in charge of our own lives, a need for control, is born within each of us. It is essential to our mental health, and our success that we take control.” Robert F. Bennett
  5. 5. Some Quotes about taking Control (3) “I’m more attracted to a stronger man rather than a feminine man. Someone who would just throw me down and take control. I love feeling helpless. I definitely like a man who is aggressive and confident.” Carmen Electra
  6. 6. Key Messages for You You have to learn to look after yourselves You need to be resilient You need a resilient mindset Learn how to like yourself Learn how to have a “good” processes to make decisions – but that may not result in a “good” decision. There is no such thing as the “perfect decision”
  7. 7. What do we mean by resilience? Resilience is – ‘bouncing back’: The capacity to handle the challenges and opportunities of work and life. v Recognising the signs and symptoms for you that indicate your resilience is slipping v Knowing the best way to ride life’s ups and downs so you stay well, feeling energised and in control Stress is a symptom!
  8. 8. Why Resilience? • Each year 1 in 5 Australians will experience a mental illness • In 2006, 1402 males, 397 females died by suicide = 1799 deaths– that’s nearly 5 a day • For every ‘successful’ suicide, there are thirty ‘unsuccessful’ suicide attempts (Possibility 200 Australians a day may be attempting suicide – MHCA Press Release 28 July 2009) • In the same period, 1,668 deaths by motor vehicle accidents • Suicide accounted for nearly one-fifth of all deaths amongst young men aged 20 to 34. • The PBS indicates 4,000,000 prescriptions for anti-depressives issued in 2006/07. • Analgous to having a bad back in the 1980s. • It all means we have to be resilient in “normal” life
  9. 9. What is a Resilient Mindset? • Resilient individuals have a set of assumptions or attitudes about themselves that influence their behaviour and the skills they develop • These behaviours and skills influence and reinforces these assumptions and attitudes • This set of assumptions becomes the mindset
  10. 10. A Resilient Mindset is • Listening to the ‘little voice” – having a positive “voice” • Being stress hardy rather than being “stressed out” • Viewing life through the eyes of others • Communicating effectively • Having robust decision making mechanisms • Accepting yourself and others • Being connected and displaying compassion • Dealing with mistakes • Dealing well with success and knowing what you are good at • Following through and maintaining a resilient life The Power of Resilience Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein
  11. 11. Listening to your “little voices..”
  12. 12. BEING HUMAN THE WELLBEING & RESILIENCE THERMOMETER (2006 Dr Lynn McAtamney Telstra & Ingrid Ozols mh@work®) Where are you?
  13. 13. So how are you feeling about yourself? The Wellbeing & Resilience Thermometer ( Lynn McAtamney Telstra & Ingrid Ozols mh@work®) THINK I am having: difficulty sleeping, STOP diarrhoea, constipation GO I often feel anxious, I feel great, alive, full of tense neck, shoulder, jaw irritable, nervous, teary, life. I am on top of life’s frequent headaches tired, steamrollered or challenges and pounding heart plain worn out for no pressures. heartburn, wind, bloating or reason or reasons with no I have good systems in indigestion control. place to pace myself. a cold or bug that lingers I struggle to concentrate My life is pretty balanced outbursts or make decisions. through a daily exercise loss of patience I am relying on caffeine, program, eating no time for me alcohol, drugs, pain killers healthily, weight under people saying I am working or smoking too much. control, not smoking and too hard My health is deteriorating having a few drinks on I am slipping into using and I see no way out. * the weekend only. drugs, gambling, alcohol or smoking to get through the week
  14. 14. Learn how to make decisions Define the problem Gather facts Identify options and alternatives Evaluate the options and alternatives Make a decision Execute the decision Learn the lessons of your decision
  15. 15. An example Husband and wife team Thinking about who gets use of the new car She says He says Do the school runs His work Manage the house Has to take customers around Part time work His community involvement Community involvement Take kids to sport Etc Etc Etc Etc
  16. 16. De Bono can be useful! White Hat Objectivity – What are the facts Red Hat Emotions – How do you feel Black Hat The Critical – Why WON’T it work? Yellow Hat Optimistic – Why it WILL work Green Hat Creative – What are the alternatives Blue Hat Process – Get your thinking structured
  17. 17. Have a Plan B What is the Risk Impact? High Take care!! BO TwH!! Monitor Mon Gather facts, ask progress opinions, Piecemeal progress? What are you Should this waiting for? Enjoy decision be made? the ride Low Low High
  18. 18. Maintain a Balanced Life The Five Planks of Resilience Plank Component Y/N Action Plan < 3 months > 3 months Medical •Physical •Relationship Connections •Family •Work •Community/Friends Physical •Fitness •Diet Mental •Type of data •Variety Spiritual •Values •What do you believe •Belief gives hope Copyright Lessons Learnt Consulting ®
  19. 19. Questions Dennis Hoiberg 0418 384 619