Leadership Misc

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Leadership Misc

  1. 1.
  2. 2. Conflict is …<br />Conflict occurs when people have needs or concerns that appear to be incompatible.<br />Conflict is a difference of opinion.<br />
  3. 3. Conflict management describes the approach of dealing with a conflict by trying to manage it, without necessarily having each party use the same method or process.<br />Conflict resolution describes the approach of working together to create a solution that satisfies the needs and concerns of all parties involved.<br />
  4. 4. Groups Fearing and Avoiding Conflict:<br />Create a unproductive culture through boring, meaningless meetings <br />Operate in the backdrop of covert politics and personal attacks <br />Ignore controversial topics that are critical to collective success<br />Fail to access all the opinions and perspectives of individuals<br />Decrease productivity through disingenuous posturing, manipulating others’ perceptions, and interpersonal risk management<br />
  5. 5. Groups Embracing Conflict and Debate:<br />Engage in meaningful meetings and conversations<br />Extract and exploit the best thinking of all team members<br />Solve real and important problems quickly<br />Minimize politics and maximize productivity <br />Discuss significant and meaningful topics <br />
  6. 6. Types of Conflict<br />Common Disagreements<br />Company Policy<br />Critical Issues<br />
  7. 7. Activity – TKI Assessment<br />Complete the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument according to the directions in the booklet. When complete, score your results. <br />
  8. 8. Conflict Handling Modes<br />Assertiveness is the attempt of the individual to meet their own needs.<br />Cooperativeness is the attempt of the individual to meet the needs of the other person.<br />
  9. 9. Conflict Handling Modes<br />Competing“The ends justify the means.”<br /> “My way or the highway.”<br />Accommodating“Kill your enemies with kindness.”<br /> “It would be my pleasure.”<br />Avoiding“Leave well enough alone.”<br />“Let’s discuss it later.”<br />Collaborating“Two heads are better than one.”<br />Compromising“Let’s split the difference.”<br />“Let’s make a deal.”<br />
  10. 10. TKI Model<br />Two Heads Better <br />than One<br />Might Makes<br /> Right<br />Competitive<br />(win)<br />Collaborative<br />(win-win)<br />Split the Difference<br />Concern<br />For Self:<br />Assertiveness<br />Compromise<br />(find middle ground)<br />Accommodating<br />(yield)<br />Avoidance<br />(delay)<br /> Kill with Kindness<br />Leave Well Enough Alone<br />Concern for Others:<br />Cooperativeness<br />
  11. 11.
  12. 12. Coaching is facilitating another person’s learning, performance, development, and ability to change.<br />
  13. 13. Flawless Coaching – 8 Key Conversations<br />What outcomes/results are required by when?<br />What progress has been made?<br />To what extent is this worthy of your pursuit?<br />What are the vital-few breakthrough behaviors that will produce required outcomes?<br />What critical decisions and disciplines are strongly linked to the required outcomes?<br />In what ways will resistances and obstacles be navigated?<br />What is the accountability process for progress reflection and evaluation?<br />What are the next steps and when is our next check-in?<br />
  14. 14. Typical Coaching Situations<br />New To Position or Team<br />Performance Issue<br />Groups<br />Development Opportunity<br />
  15. 15. Coaching Methods<br /> Every coaching conversation is different and requires its own unique set of methods or techniques from the manager. The following list provides leaders with some tools to have effective coaching sessions. <br /><ul><li>Educate / Inform
  16. 16. Champion / Sponsor
  17. 17. Encourage / Support
  18. 18. Counsel / Guide
  19. 19. Confront</li></li></ul><li>The SHARE Model<br />S Situation – Provide a “place in time” that can be easily identified.<br />HAHow it was Approached – Describe the exact behavior that was <br />observed. <br />RResult – Describe the importance of the behavior, the contribution or the<br />detraction it caused. <br />E Expectation – What behavior do they need to reinforce or redirect?<br />
  20. 20. Employee Interaction<br />Treat the person respectfully<br />Be accessible and approachable<br />Understand by listening<br />State your position<br />
  21. 21. Characteristics of Effective Feedback<br /><ul><li>Specific
  22. 22. Based on Behavior
  23. 23. Timely
  24. 24. Frequent
  25. 25. Balanced
  26. 26. Constructive
  27. 27. Accurate</li></li></ul><li>
  28. 28. Partnering to release trapped value in leaders, teams, and organizationsSM<br />
  29. 29.
  30. 30.
  31. 31. What you think and feel…<br />What you SAY…<br />Sure, No problem. This is really a good idea. I will work out the details of the implementation. <br />You are CRAZY – there is no way we can possibly do that…<br />Unintended Nonproductive Consequences…<br />He doesn’t handle the truth well, I need to be positive here and manipulate his opinion of me<br />
  32. 32. 7 % Verbal<br />38% Vocal (volume, pitch, rhythm)<br />55% Body Movement (mostly facial)<br />Listening is 93% non-content<br />Communication is Not Content Oriented<br />
  33. 33.
  34. 34. Six Purposes for Human Communication<br />Get needs met<br />Figure things out<br />Make sense of ambiguous situations<br />Gain advantage<br />Build collaborative relationships<br />Express and understand ourselves<br />
  35. 35. Hidden Agendas<br />Hidden Agendas are dysfunctional tacit assumptions <br />that we assume help us:<br />1) to build up and support your position in the world<br />2) to promote ulterior motives and needs.<br /><ul><li>I’m Good – I am the hero of my stories
  36. 36. I’m Good (But you’re not)
  37. 37. You’re Good (But I’m not)
  38. 38. I’m Helpless, I Suffer
  39. 39. I’m Blameless
  40. 40. I’m Fragile
  41. 41. I’m Tough
  42. 42. I Know it All</li></li></ul><li>Listening Derailers<br /><ul><li>Comparing – You don’t allow all data in because you’re too busy seeing if you measure up
  43. 43. Mind Reading – You distrust what people say, trying to figure out what they really mean
  44. 44. Rehearsing – You don’t have time to listen when you are rehearsing what you are going to say next
  45. 45. Filtering – Selectively listen to only high-priority emotional issues and mind-wander during the rest
  46. 46. Judging – Negatively label people or messages either prior or in midstream communication
  47. 47. Dreaming – Half-listening; topics brought up trigger memories that you dive into
  48. 48. Identifying – Refer everything back to your own experience & you interrupt to tell your stories
  49. 49. Advising – You are the great problem-solver, and you typically miss the person’s feelings & pain
  50. 50. Sparring – You are arguing and debating with everyone – i.e. put-downs; compliment discounting
  51. 51. Being Right – Avoid criticism or being wrong at all costs – twist facts, shouting, accusations, etc.
  52. 52. Derailing – Suddenly changing the subject – i.e. joking it off – using humor to derail the conversation
  53. 53. Placating – Right...Right...Yes. Wanting people to like you, you agree with everything instead of listening</li></li></ul><li>Twisted Thinking<br /><ul><li>All or Nothing – if a situation is short of perfect it must be a total failure
  54. 54. Overgeneralization – single events are interpreted as never-ending patterns with the use of “always” or “never”
  55. 55. Mental Filtering – single negative details are dwelt on excessively, negatively distorting remembrance of complete & balanced reality
  56. 56. Discounting the Positive – the outright rejection of positive experiences. Creates residues of joylessness & inadequacy
  57. 57. Jumping to Conclusions – “Mind-Reading” is arbitrarily (without knowing) concluding that someone is reacting negatively to you. “Fortune-Telling” is the prediction of worse-case scenarios
  58. 58. Magnification – the exaggeration of personal problems/shortcomings and the minimization of desirable qualities
  59. 59. Emotional Reasoning – assuming that negative emotions / fears reflect reality
  60. 60. “Should” Statements – telling yourself that things “should” be different than the experience of reality. Directed against the self “should” = guilt and frustration, directed against others “should” = anger
  61. 61. Labeling - #1 in the extreme – “I/they = losers”
  62. 62. Personalization – holding yourself responsible for an event not entirely under your control
  63. 63. Blame – holding others responsible for your problems. </li></li></ul><li>Non-Verbal Listening<br /><ul><li>Non-judgmental, non-defensive thinking and behavior
  64. 64. Avoid assumptions
  65. 65. Move toward to other
  66. 66. Lean forward
  67. 67. Uncross arms & legs
  68. 68. Make eye contact
  69. 69. Project warmth and stay focused mentally
  70. 70. Smile
  71. 71. Let your responses show on your face
  72. 72. Be comfortable with pauses, silence, and strong emotion</li></li></ul><li>Methods<br /> <br />Observations<br />Thoughts<br />Feelings<br />Needs<br /> <br />Attributes<br /> <br />Direct<br />Immediate<br />Clear, complete, accurate<br />Straight<br />Supportive, caring, compassionate<br /> <br />
  73. 73. The Progression to Connection:<br /> <br />Interest – that which engages, arouses, and persuades<br /> <br />2. Attention – a condition of readiness involving a selective narrowing or focusing of consciousness and receptivity<br /> <br />3. Focus – concentrated and directed attention<br /> <br />4. Connection – synchronous mutual attachment at multiple layers and levels<br /> <br /> <br />

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