November 28, 2014
Kelso in Action - Resolving Conflict at RIS
● To help young people learn a lifelong
conflict resolution tool.
● To help young people develop and sustain
the belief that they are brave enough,
strong enough and smart enough to
resolve their own minor problems.
We begin with 2 main ideas:
1. Small problems vs Big problems - small
problems are SAFE. Big problems are
2. Verbal and Nonverbal solutions.
DIFFUSE EMOTION first!!
Non Verbal Solutions
1. Wait and Cool off: Calming down - take deep breaths,
count back, think calming thoughts, positive self talk.
2. Walk Away
3. Go to another game
4. Ignore it - purposeful body language
Verbal Solutions - Teaching the language of problem
1. Talk it over
2. Make a deal
3. Share and take turns
4. Tell them to Stop
Talk it over ….
__________ I feel ________ when
___________. I need __________.
“I Care” language.
Make a Deal and Share
Kids know what to do! Empower your
children to solve small problems!!
1. Rock, Paper, Scissors
2. Setting a timer
3. Allowing for creative solutions - kids can
Tell them to STOP…
1. Body language, tone of voice
2. Expectation that the student is listening -
3. I CARE messages!!!
4. Wait for a response…..
Apologize - WORDS AND ACTIONS
_____________, I am sorry that I
_______. If I feel like this again, I plan to
_____________. Is there anything I can
do for you now?