ES Parent Coffee Talk Kelso+ Encouraging Positive Behavior
Elementary School Counseling - Classroom Guidance
● To help young people learn a lifelong
conflict resolution tool.
● To help young people develop and sustain
the belief that they are brave enough,
strong enough and smart enough to resolve
their own minor problems.
● Identify BIG and small problems.
● Big problems vs. small problems
● Verbal solutions vs. non-verbal solutions
● Self - monitoring
BIG PROBLEMS LEAVE US FEELING HURT, UNSAFE AND SCARED. BIG
PROBLEMS DON’T HAPPEN OFTEN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE SOME BIG PROBLEMS THAT YOUR CHILDREN
MIGHT HAVE AT SCHOOL?
BULLYING IS A BIG PROBLEM. BULLYING HAPPENS WHEN THERE IS AN UNBALANCE OF POWER AND THAT
POWER IMBALANCE IS REPEATED OVER TIME. BULLYING, ACCORDING TO THIS DEFINITION IS A BIG
1. Is it a big problem? TELL AN ADULT RIGHT AWAY! DO NOT
2. Is it a small problem? TRY 3 of Kelso choices then ask an
adult for help.
SMALL PROBLEMS HAPPEN OFTEN. SMALL PROBLEMS ARE
OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW AND REFLECT.
SMALL PROBLEMS LEAVE US FEELING FRUSTRATED, MAD AND SAD.
KELSO TEACHES US SOME TOOLS FOR HANDLING COMMON SMALL
1. Wait and Cool off: Calming down - take deep
breaths, count back, think calming
thoughts, positive self talk.
2. Walk Away
3. Go to another game
4. Ignore it - purposeful body language
1. Talk it over
2. Make a deal
3. Share and take turns
4. Tell them to Stop
__________ I feel ________ when
___________. I need __________.
“I Care” language.
Kids know what to do! Empower your
children to solve small problems!!
1. Rock, Paper, Scissors
2. Setting a timer
3. Allowing for creative solutions -
kids can try!
1. Body language, tone of voice
2. Expectation that the student is
listening - CHECK!
3. I CARE messages!!!
4. Wait for a response…..
_____________, I am sorry that I
_______. If I feel like this
again, I plan to _____________. Is
there anything I can do for you
1. TAKE the TIME to ask them about their feelings. Listen.
2. Encourage them to address their feelings, work through
problems and find solutions.
3. Let them know that it is ok to make mistakes.
4. Teach honesty.
5. Teach responsibility.