Good morning / afternoon.Welcome to the LERA Conference, I am Cary Silverstein, Vice President for Management for LERA. Permit me to introduce Attorney Virginia Finn who will be my co-presenter today.
Ginny starts the seminar and introduces the topic.
Cary presents the view of men in negotiations.
Cary, talks about the assumptions.
Cary discusses how the research supports the reality and dismisses the assumptions.
Cary discusses how the research supports the reality and dismisses the assumptions.
Ginny delves into this quote.
Cary delves into these social and cultural norms.
Ginny discusses how women approach negotiations.
Cary discusses how men prepare.
Ginny talks about the “alphabet” generations and what to expect in a negotiation.
Cary Gender Triggers:Work to counter gender triggers, or use them to benefit negotiation performance. Men may be encouraged to maximize their outcomes by ramping up competitive drive. Women on the other hand may be inspired by reminders that they representing other parties [colleagues, customers or the company]. Do Your Homework: Investigate precedent, talk to others in the industry. Remain motivated.
CaryCreate Transparency: Develop appropriate criteria on which decisions are based. Figure out what is reasonable and fair. Articulate Performance Expectations: When entering into competitive bargaining situations, have clearly defined goals. Armed with comparable information and acceptable targets, both men and women will achieve better outcomes.
Gender Based Negotiations 2.0
Men are from MarsWomen are from Venus<br />Labor & Employment Relations Association<br />Wisconsin Chapter<br />November 3, 2009<br />
Most research on negotiations assumes “male” negotiation conduct is good and “female” style is a deficit.<br /> Or, at a minimum, assumes “male” negotiation conduct is the norm.<br />Underlying Preconceived Notion<br />
Men and women have a great deal to learn from each other<br />Effective negotiation skills are those that can adapt to different situations, personalities and achieve goals while maintaining integrity<br />Gender expectations rather than documented differences may be at play<br />Presenter’s Rebuttal<br />
Conversation Framework<br />Perspectives on women’s negotiation style<br />Perspectives on men’s negotiation style<br />Conversation<br />Resource References<br />
The presumed culture of Venus<br />Non competitive<br />Malleable<br />Avoiding or conflict adverse<br />Accommodating <br />Gender as a Culture<br />
The presumed culture of Mars<br />Competitive<br />Rigid / Uncompromising<br />Aggressive <br />Goal oriented<br />Gender as a Culture<br />
Women do not ask for what they want<br />Women do not manage conflict well<br />Women do not take risks<br />Women are more likely to feel apprehension about negotiating<br />Many adult women say they never negotiate even if it is appropriate<br />Conventional Assumptions - Women<br />
Conventional Assumptions - Men<br />Men aggressively pursue what they want<br />Men relish conflict<br />Men value risk taking<br />Men are naturally comfortable negotiating<br />Men assume everything is negotiable<br />
Women are more collaborative [concerned with the relationship/win-win]<br />Women are more apt to accommodate the other party in a negotiation<br />When a negotiation gets heated women are more likely to withdraw [conflict adverse vs. waste of time]<br />Women may be better skilled at business negotiations<br />Reality - Women<br />
Women do focus on relationships as an independent but related issue<br />Women do adapt methods / tactics more easily<br />Women do listen more effectively than men<br />Reality - Women<br />
Women are great “active listeners” and care about the concerns of the other side<br />Women are more interested in finding a “win-win” solution<br />Women are more concerned with substance & creating an agreement in which both parties experience a positive outcome<br />Reality - Women<br />
Reality – Men<br />Men value zero-sum (win/lose)<br />Men view accommodation as a loss<br />Men dive in when negotiations heat up<br />Men may be better at reaching quick results<br />
Reality – Men<br />Relationships are distinct from the negotiation dynamic<br />Men adapt to new situations but less nimbly than women<br />Men are concerned with the distribution of results<br />
Reality – Men<br />Men plan their next statement more than they listen<br />Men prefer to stick to their game plan<br />Men can adjust as long as they “win”<br />
Controls Emotions<br />Women 10.5 Men 10.7<br />Displays Emotions<br />Women 13.5 Men 13.3<br />High Assertiveness<br />Women 11.5 Men 13.3<br />Low Assertiveness<br />Women 12.5 Men 10.8<br />Communication Style Profile<br />
Negotiation Style Profile<br />Defeat<br />Women 18.92 Men 19.99<br />Collaborative<br />Women 35.37 Men 35.16<br />Accommodate<br />Women 32.62 Men 31.38<br />Withdraw<br />Women 24.76 Men 22.74<br />Compromise<br />Women 28.39 Men 27.41<br />
“Women perform better when negotiating on behalf of others than they do when negotiating for themselves ”<br /> Dina W. Pradel [Program on<br /> Negotiation, Harvard]<br />Reality<br />
Social Structure & Cultural NormsWomen<br />Aggressiveness is taboo<br />Caretakers, not risk takers<br />Shift in norms more easily than men<br />Ask questions / information gathers<br />Use passive rather than active verbs<br />Objective is two-fold: rapport & goals<br />
Social Structure & Cultural NormsMen<br />Aggressiveness is preferred behavior<br />Are risk takers<br />Play the “zero sum” game<br />Are tellers, not askers<br />Relationships are secondary<br />Objective is singular in focus: Goal oriented<br />
How Women Approach Negotiations<br />Thorough preparation<br />Establish rapport early on in initial conversations<br />Build towards a collaborative approach<br />Multiple acceptable scenario outcomes<br />Effective as an advocate for others<br />
How Men Approach Negotiations<br />A high level of preparation<br />Establish casual rapport, e.g. sports<br />Start with a distributive approach<br />Hierarchical acceptable scenario outcomes<br />Advocate for themselves well<br />
Gender & Generations<br />Traditional gender assumptions are being challenged by the alphabet generations<br />Alphabet generations assert they are overcoming stereotypes<br />Little research on this, but what does exist notes minor difference between generations<br />
Negotiation Styles & Context<br />Men and women analyze things differently [qualitative vs. quantitative]<br />Women’s styles vary within negotiations more often than men’s<br />Competition with men is “business as usual’ with women it can become personal<br />
Neutralizing Gender Differences<br />Anticipate gender related triggers<br />Be aware of situations that may trigger gender stereotypes or role expectations<br />Do your homework<br />Learn as much as you can about what is possible and ask for whatever you need<br />
Neutralizing Gender Differences<br />Create transparency<br />Clarify the range of issues that are up for negotiation<br />Articulate performance expectations<br />Clearly state performance goals. Setting high but reasonable aspirations is good for all negotiators<br />
Neutralizing Gender Differences<br /> Be mindful of the role of gender-based expectations (about self and others)<br /> Does our expectation of a certain dynamic cause us to modify our own behavior?<br />
Your Observations/Questions<br />Thank you for your participation.<br />Please feel free to share any observations or pose any questions you may have.<br />
Resources<br />Silverstein, Cary., Three-part series regarding gender differences in negotiations, “The Gender Guard” (Small BizTimes, September 10, 2008), “Gender Mender” (Small BizTimes, October 17, 2008), and “Women Deal with Conflict Differently than Men” (Small BizTimes, November 14, 2008).<br />Tannen, Deborah, “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation” (Ballentine Books) 1990 and “Talking form 9 to 5: Men and Women at Work” (Avon) 2004.<br />
Resources<br />Conner, Michael G. “Understanding the Difference Between Men and Women,” 1999 (published in Take it or Leave It, (May 2006).<br />Babcock, Linda and Sara Laschever, “Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide,” (Princeton University Press) 2003.<br />
Resources<br />Fisher, Robert and William Ury, “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In” (Penguin Press) 1981.<br />Calhoun, Patrick S. and William Smith, “Integrative Bargaining: Does Gender Make a Difference?” International Journal of Conflict Management. (1999). <br />
Cary Silverstein<br />SMA, LLC & The Negotiation Edge<br />414 -352-5140 Office, 414-403-2942 Cell<br />Csilve1013@aol.com<br />Heads a group of local consultants that provide negotiations, conflict resolution program development services, strategic planning, marketing, market research, and drug & alcohol screening programs. <br />Senior faculty member at DeVry University / Keller Graduate School in Milwaukee and Waukesha since 1989. Facilitates classes in labor /management relations, employment law and negotiations.<br />Has published numerous articles as the SBT Company Doctor in the areas of family succession planning, negotiation and conflict resolution in The Small Business Times, Yahoo.com and numerous international periodicals. <br />Serves as the Vice President for Management for the Labor & Employment Relations Association’s Wisconsin chapter <br />Member of the MMAC’s COSBE Board of Directors and leads COSBE CEO Group 10. <br />
Virginia Finn JD<br />Athlone Consulting LLC<br />414 -698-3109 Office / Cell<br />VRFinn@sbcglobal.net<br />Ginny has over two decades of business and tax exempt organization experience, with emphasis on management and employment issues in the fields of healthcare,higher education and the arts.<br />Provides counsel and project implementation services to philanthropists and tax exempt organizations and the allied professionals serving them, financial advisors, attorneys, and trust services. <br />Also serves as the Executive Director of ABCD: After Breast Cancer Diagnosis a Wisconsin-based organization providing free, personalized information and one-to-one support to people affected by breast cancer. <br />Ginny is a graduate of Coe College, Purdue University and the University of Wisconsin Law School, where she was a member of the Law Review and served as President of the Moot Court Board. <br />