Character-The traits that shape us remain fairly stable over time, making them the closest thing we have to a crystal ball. Under mentioned information can be obtained by six key domains or clues to character of yourself and others Take an inventory of yourself, Gauge the suitability of a partner, Glimpse what a friendship might hold, or Preview a child's trajectory Six broad domains are Intelligence, Drive, Sociability, Capacity for intimacy, Happiness, and Goodness.

1. By
Col Mukteshwar Prasad(Retd)
Source- Hara Estroff Marano, published on
May 3, 2011 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016
in Psychology Today
Six Clues to Character

2. Introduction
 Character-The traits that shape us remain fairly stable
over time, making them the closest thing we have to a
crystal ball.
 Under mentioned information can be obtained by six key
domains or clues to character of yourself and others
 Take an inventory of yourself,
 Gauge the suitability of a partner,
 Glimpse what a friendship might hold, or
 Preview a child's trajectory
 Six broad domains are
 Intelligence,
 Drive,
 Sociability,
 Capacity for intimacy,
 Happiness, and
 Goodness.

3. Story
 Seconds after Tamara walked in Michael’s office for job interview ,he knew with in
seconds “She was right for the creative staff of the advertising team he ran”
 Within a year, they were not only a productive duo professionally, they were dating.
 She soon changed to another agency so they could live together openly
 A year later, they were married and started a boutique agency together.
 Business grew comfortably —until the recession hit.
 Having observed from a master how to initiate client contact, Tamara went into
overdrive and Michael kept admiring her indefatigability.
 The harder she worked, the more Michael's praise got under Tamara's skin; she grew
to hate being viewed as indefatigable.
 Over the last half of 2008, she says, "anxiety began shredding me."
 She realized that though he was a Good life partner, she came to realize, Michael
lacked "the gut-fire" for business. Downturn was the clearest time to see it but the
worst time to accept it.
 Desperate to keep her whole life from falling apart, she quietly contacted a consultant.
 The plan: Close the agency, look for separate jobs or freelance arrangements,
and keep the marriage.
 Could she live with that?
 It's taken over two rocky years for the shame, the anger, and the
disappointment to subside.
 Tamara would happily erase the entire entrepreneurial episode. "I should have paid
more attention to Michael's approach to work," she now says.
 "Yes, he has a great reputation, but there were signs he just wasn't driven. He's

4. Theme of Story
 Does any one of us know who under mentioned people or self Will become,
especially when tossed into a new set of circumstances?
 Our lovers,
 Our friends,
 Our business partners,
 Our children—and
 Even we ourselves
 Most future Forecasting is stunningly off the mark.
 Typically, it assumes too many discontinuities from the present
 But psychology knows that the future grows out of the past, and both
tend to be built on observable aspects of character and behavior. It's
possible to extrapolate from today to tomorrow—if you know what to
pay attention to.
 Even with children, development is not a mystery, says Susan Engel, a
psychologist at Williams College. "It's a crystal ball. You just have to know
how to read it."
 The trickiest part may be finding—or deliberately creating—situations
most likely to elicit the traits you want to observe in action.

5. Six Domain for future Path
 The important signs of a person's path into the future inhabit six broad
domains, says Engel: Intelligence, Drive, Sociability, Capacity for
intimacy, Happiness, and Goodness.
 All six elements show up early in life and don't change much over its
course. As outlined in her recent book, Red Flags or Red Herrings?
Predicting Who Your Child Will Become, the six can be seen as an index of
what really matters in life.
 Some are traits wired into personality—such as basic level of interest in
others.
 But some have a considerable skills component—for example, how we
explain the events of our lives.
 A small shift in attributional style, for example, will have an outsize effect
on a person's motivation and propensity to happiness.
 Sociability and its expression , a basic component of personality is
possible to be influenced by learning how to approach others.
 Inspite of recognizing the importance of each domain for foretelling the
future, still we may have trouble knowing exactly what to look for.
 Being low-key, for example, does not preclude happiness, as some people
assume.
 Nor does winning prizes in school predict later success.
 But it turns out that many of the attributes that most influence us, that
create that je ne sais quoi known as character, are fairly stable over
time.

6. 1.Intelligence: The Biggest Boon
 Of all the attributes to consider in another person, intelligence is probably at
the top of the list.
 Since it is
 The most stable quality over time and
 Almost as reliable a guide in children as it is in adults.
 The great declarer of possibility,
 An indicator of the likelihood of doing well in life.
 It allows for deeper understanding of life, experiences, and other
people.
 It underlies the ability to deal with complexity.
 It is primarily a product of genetic endowment—although stimulating
environments allow it to blossom.
 Try to define intelligence and you'll have one of psychology's longest-running
fights on your hands.
 This much can be said with impunity: It encompasses the ability and
speed of processing information.
 As cognitive psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman sees it, there are two major
types of intelligence—
 Controlled and
 Spontaneous.

7. 1.Intelligence: The Biggest Boon….
 As cognitive psychologist …two major types of intelligence—Controlled and
Spontaneous. … and confer distinct advantages.
 Controlled Intelligence
 At the top of the hierarchy is the capacity for conscious, deliberate,
abstract thinking, which is what is generally measured on intelligence
tests.
 "Conscious intelligence reflects the capacity of working memory and
executive functioning, skills requiring focus and related to cognitive
control," he explains.
 It is goal-directed and draws on a limited pool of attentional
resources.
 Spontaneous Intelligence
 Sharing equal billing with general understanding, argues Kaufman, is
spontaneous intelligence, which provides mental dexterity.
 Spontaneous cognitive processes involve the ability to acquire
information automatically.
 They are associated with implicit learning, the incidental acquisition
of a complex pattern, says Kaufman(Coauthor of the forthcoming
Cambridge Handbook of Intelligence.)
 Call it the cognitive unconscious. "It's the ability to be open to
possibilities that may not be obviously relevant to the task at hand"—
like having a sudden creative insight without deliberately working on a
problem.

8. 1.Intelligence: The Biggest Boon….
 Neither component of intelligence is more
important than the other, but what is crucial is
the ability to flexibly switch between modes of
cognition as a task demands.
 "It is important sometimes to defocus. It
allows for novel on-the-spot problem-
solving," says Kaufman.
 Cognitive flexibility is knowing when to
completely deactivate focused intelligence.
He notes that the highest levels of creativity
most likely require the ability for both modes
of intelligence and the flexibility to switch
thought strategies.

9. 1.Clues to Intelligence
 "Pay attention to how a person thinks," advises Engel. "Listen to how he
or she develops an argument."
 Barry Lubetkin, a clinical psychologist in New York, advises noting how
systematically someone weighs pros and cons of a dilemma and how
clearly the person can define and state a problem.
 "Look for someone who has clarity, whose thoughts have edges."
 Also, make sure a person knows the difference between how he feels
about something and what he thinks about it.
 "Confusing feeling and reason is a huge problem," Engel finds.
 Another measure of intelligence is how quickly a person takes in new
information and especially how fully and quickly they grasp complex
situations.
 The ability to generate multiple solutions to a problem through
brainstorming, Lubetkin says, is another marker of intelligence,
especially the spontaneous variety.
 Closely related is the ability to discard calcified ways of doing things.
 Evolutionary psychologists, in particular, regard the ability to generate
humor as a robust sign of intelligence, as it reflects a complex array of
cognitive skills, from language use to abstract thinking, involving the
capacity to take a novel perspective on information.

10. Clues to Intelligence
 "Pay attention to how a person thinks," –While writing in Psych test,
Speaking with IO and working with GTO
 "Listen to how he or she develops an argument." –
 Noting how systematically someone weighs pros and cons of a
dilemma and how clearly the person can define and state a problem.
 “ someone who has clarity and whose thoughts have edges.“
 Does a person knows the difference between how he feels about
something and what he thinks about it.
 "Confusing feeling and reason is a huge problem,“
 How quickly a person takes in new information and especially how
fully and quickly they grasp complex situations.
 The ability to generate multiple solutions to a problem through
brainstorming
 Ability to discard calcified ways of doing things.
 Ability to generate humor as a robust sign of intelligence, as it reflects
a complex array of cognitive skills, from language use to abstract
thinking, involving the capacity to take a novel perspective on
information.

11. 2. Drive: The Goals You Set
 Everyone defines it differently, but is there a person alive who doesn't want to
succeed?
 Engel emphasizes doing well at something you love.
 That's a nice ideal; for some people, it's more a financial calculation.
 And still others want public attention or recognition, even celebrity in the
mix.
 Two key variables to focus on, then, are
 How a person defines it and
 How—or even whether—someone is willing to work for it.
 There's effort and there's effort, says Engel.
 There is a quality beyond working doggedly—some call it surgency—
in which the energy of hard work is accompanied by vibrancy and a
sense of pleasure.
 Others call it passion; either way, it fuels perseverance.
 It's the fire at the heart of motivation.
 "Drive," Lubetkin says, "is the engine of accomplishment. It allows a
person to achieve whatever goals they set in life."
 And yet, persistence also begets passion.
 Both of them are made possible only by a sense of optimism.
 It was on the perseverance-passion spectrum that Michael and Tamara
encountered the difference that undid their work partnership.
 Tamara says she still doesn't understand Michael's failure to be energized

12. 2. Drive: The Goals You Set…
 Researchers find that the drive that leads to success maps closely with the
Big Five personality trait of
 conscientiousness—being prepared, organized, and able to control
impulses.
 There are additional markers of the capacity for success.
 And some underpin the ability to take risks that result in that
 special off-the-grid brand of accomplishment,
 innovation.
 Going beyond routine paths, Lubetkin points out, requires a certain
independence of thought and the capacity to operate independent of
others' opinions.
 There's no time frame for what he calls "building a bank of self-trust.“
 But its most noticeable feature might be the ability to put faith in one's
own decisions.
 Intelligence, he notes, should not be taken as an indicator of such an
ability.
 Clues to Drive:
 "how does a person talk about the problems in his or her life?" asks
Lubetkin.
 "What do they say when they are met with a barrier? You want to hear

13. 3. Happiness: The Capacity For Finding
Satisfaction
 There's a great deal of cultural confusion about what happiness is and how to
achieve it.
 Psychologists and philosophers find that happiness derives from having
a sense of purpose and feeling useful.
 But a culture of consumption like ours puts forth highly seductive
messages suggesting happiness comes from enjoying a string of
positive events or a life of ease or acquiring things, known as
hedonic happiness.
 Exploring a person's beliefs about happiness is likely to reveal not
only how they might approach it but how likely they are to find it.
 Anyone who seeks it in acquisitions will be doomed to
disappointment; hedonic pleasures have limited staying power.
 Neuroscience has something important to say on the matter—primarily that
happiness isn't something you can pursue directly.
 It's a byproduct of other things, most notably working toward
meaningful goals.
 In the brain, maximum positive feelings are generated, and negative
feelings turned off, not after reaching a goal but in the approach to a
challenging goal,
 One you're not 100 percent certain you can reach,
 One where you have to muster all your resources and stretch.

14. 3. Happiness: The Capacity For Finding
Satisfaction
 Happiness may be a feeling but, over the past 50 years, psychologists
have come to see that in large measure it is a reflection of how we think.
 Cognitive behavioral therapy is founded on the fact that we
consistently engage in automatic patterns of thinking about
experience, of which we are generally unaware, that pitch us into
positive or negative mood states.
 Underlying a propensity to depression are not merely encounters
with adversity but assumptions about the experience and beliefs
about oneself that are in fact distortions of reality.
 Further, the beliefs are typically expressed in the attributions we all
make about the causes of events.
 Among the most common, says Lubetkin, is the tendency to
selectively filter information—to focus exclusively on negative details
of a situation while ignoring or minimizing its positive aspects.
 Equally destructive is catastrophizing, assuming the direst outcome
from one negative event.
 The conclusions people draw from their everyday experiences often
find their way into expression and are a major indicator of the degree
to which they are unwittingly erecting barriers to their own
happiness.

15. 3. Clues to Happiness:
 How realistic is someone about personal
weaknesses?
 And just how willing is someone to act in
ways aligned with his or her beliefs and
values, even at the risk of criticism?
 Happiness comes not from a magical power
to escape setbacks but the ability to
rebound from them, also known as
resilience.
 How does someone interpret experience?
 A tendency to attribute all setbacks to fate can
cripple will.
 Believing everything is under one's control
likewise distorts reality and is a setup for
misery.

16. 4. Goodness: The Legacy Of Mama Madoff
 Engel wants you to know about Bernie Madoff's mother. "Goodness comes
from somewhere," says the Williams psychologist, "and so does badness.
People model themselves on those around them."
 The greatest swindler in history wasn't the only cheat in his family.
 When he was growing up, his mother had her own financial brokerage
firm.
 Eventually, she was investigated by the SEC for failing to file financial
reports.
 Before they could revoke her registration, Engel recounts, she withdrew it.
 "She might have been defrauding customers, sneaking past the regulatory
commission, or cheating the government, and if so, there would be a good
chance it was rubbing off on Bernie."
 Some aspects of morality are generated from within, and some from
without—for example, the degree to which a person believes that ends
justify any means.
 "I am certain that Bernie Madoff did not get the kind of influence in
his childhood that how you do things is more important than whether
you succeed," Engel says.
 Empathy shows up early in life and it endures.
 How motivated is someone to care when you are hurt?
 How mindful is a person toward your goals?

17. 4. Goodness: The Legacy Of Mama Madoff…..
 There are people—often, leaders— who get good at faking empathy
although they are at heart ruthless, Lubetkin warns.
 "Internally they feel little concern. But they can charm enough so that there
are few consequences to their ruthless behavior."
 The capacity for empathy is necessary for goodness but not sufficient.
 Another sign of morality is the willingness to help another.
 The capacity for moral reasoning is distinct from moral behavior.
 Brain imaging studies show that moral reasoning is influenced by how
"hot" a situation is, Engel explains.
 "What we think of as right depends to some extent on how involved
our feelings are."
 It's accessing the ability to think about the perspective of another—as
distinct from feeling what another is feeling—that is linked to
benevolent actions.
 Like so much in life, thinking about the feelings of others hinges on
emotion regulation.
 A person who can control his own emotions (especially negative
ones like anger and anxiety) without denying them will be able to
tolerate others' upsets, not prompted to run from them—and able to
help.

18. 4. Clues to Goodness
 Knowing how someone thinks about moral issues is useful,
but it's not always enough to indicate how they will behave
in difficult circumstances.
 And for that, says Engel, you have to know how someone
calms him or herself—indeed, whether they can.
 The ability underlies more than moral capacity.
 It's a prerequisite for good decision-making in every
domain of experience.

19. 5. Friendship: The Capacity For Reciprocity
 Friendship is both an arena with its own intrinsic rewards(happiness is prime
among them) and a proving ground for intimacy.
 Relationships with peers hinge on equality and reciprocity—one reason,
researchers believe, they are so inherently satisfying.
 And a perfect window into character.
 Says Lubetkin: "Friendship allows you to grow. Knowing there is a
support system encourages you to take more chances and move toward
greater success."
 An enormous body of literature on children and adults attests that what people
like in others is
 Kindness (the sense that someone will be available to help in a time of
need) and
 Assertiveness(has the ability to stand up for oneself.)—
 An adult who has few peer relationships may be
 Unkind,
 Unable to relate to others, or
 Too self-involved.
 Endurance is an important measure of friendship quality.
 "The ability to build a history with someone tells me about the value they
place on loyalty, and how sustainable they are through the ups and
downs of experience," says Lubetkin.

20. 5. Friendship: The Capacity For Reciprocity…
 Signs of sociability are readily observable—
 The existence of a broad circle of associates one calls on from time to
time and
 A smaller circle of one or two close friends one can call on at any time
and to whom one can reveal one's inner landscape.
 Having at least one good friend, research shows, is a buffer against
many of life's ills.
 The capacity for friendship has two broad aspects.
 One is a level of sociability, mostly a matter of temperament.
 Level of interest in others is one thing;
 Knowing how to interact with them is another, more in the domain of
skills.
 Social skills can to some degree be acquired by way of coaching,
especially among children
 How to read signals,
 Understanding the intentions of others,
 How to approach others—.
 Not every person has the same level of sociability.
 Some people are very comfortable spending time alone
 One measure of a person's character is how much solitude they
desire—but it's just as important to know whether they can create a
social life when they want it.

21. 5. Friendship: The Capacity For Reciprocity…
 Interaction style tends to be stable over the lifetime, says Engel.
 A peek into the past is likely to reveal something about the future.
 A person who comes from a family where everyone was heard and each
child had some say, is likely to be attuned to what others are thinking,
while knowing how to assert his own needs.
 Clues to Friendship:
 Here's what the capacity for friendship looks like in action:
 Asking about others,
 Making someone feel welcome,
 Making suggestions for joint activities,
 Sharing (but not dumping) information about oneself.
 It's important to assess the nature of a person's friendships.
 Are they purely voluntary ?or
 Are they based on exchange of some kind, such as money ? or
 Consistently marked by inequality such as dominance or
submission?
 Perhaps the strongest signal of problems in the friendship realm is the
existence of cutoffs.
 A string of ex-friendships is
 A sign of rigidity,
 Indicator of an inability to tolerate conflict or stress in relationships
or work out their complexities.

22. 6. Intimacy: The Capacity for Vulnerability and
Trust
 Consider intimacy an important source of balance, the ultimate leavening
in life, the deepest source of comfort.
 And because it is the root of psychic security, it is a firm foundation for
approaching the new and a wellspring of willingness to engage in
exploration of life.
 Gauge someone's capacity for intimacy and you will understand
 Something about their ability to trust another human being,
 Reveal vulnerability,
 Make a commitment of any kind, and
 Regulate distress as well.
 On this psychologists agree:
 The first relationship is the basis for all others.
 The nature of one's emotional attachment in the family of origin
establishes not only the ability to achieve a sense of connection but the
degree of security in later relationships.
 Attachment to a consistently responsive caregiver in infancy is nature's
first coping system.
 The desire and ability to listen to another—sometimes the most essential
need in a close relationship, particularly during times of distress—is a quality
easy to discern.
 Its equally important—but often overlooked—companion skill is the
ability to communicate that one's partner is being heard.
 "By itself it's a key social intelligence skill," observes Lubetkin.

23. 6. Intimacy: The Capacity for Vulnerability and
Trust
 There's an ineluctable mix of vulnerability and
reciprocity at the heart of intimacy, and it declares itself.
 You can openly observe whether a person runs for
emotional distance or disengages during difficult
moments.
 Given the depth of vulnerability that distinguishes intimate
relationships, the capacity for intimacy couldn't exist
without the willingness to trust another human being.
 In fact, no human enterprise can operate soundly in
the absence of trust; the alternative of constant
wariness creates an atmosphere of unceasing
suspicion.
 Trust, of course, rests on the very foundation of
predictability.

24. 6. Clues to Intimacy:
 "No matter how much you need to know it, you can't ask a
person head-on whether he feels loved," says Lubetkin.
"You need the details."
 His recommendation to people on the verge of
commitment:
 Make a drive-by visit to the old family manse.
 It's virtually guaranteed to stimulate recall of early
relationships with great emotional immediacy.
 Ask your prospective partner to take you on a tour of her
childhood home, and ask a few questions. "Tell me about
the kitchen. What kinds of conversation went on? What was
the family room like? Tell me about where you slept; what
was your bedroom like? Was it yours? Could you take your
private thoughts into it? Did you have comforting bedtime
rituals?"
 Even a person whose early experience was less than ideal
will reveal in tone and attitude—
 Anger,
 Wistfulness,