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The Intimate Relationship


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sharing the wisdom about an intimate relationship with a possible life partner

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The Intimate Relationship

  1. 1. Sharing my Wisdomwith my ChildrenThe Intimate RelationshipCindy Martin • Stepping Stones Publications • © January 13, 2012Stepping Stones Publications • 1
  2. 2. The Intimate RelationshipGuiding my children along their pathA PERSONAL STORY ABOUT CHOOSING A PARTNER AND DATING the life cycle involves change and is apart of our growthCindy Martin represents the Cayuga Nation, Turtle Clan and shares a child-hood memory with her aunt. Cindy lives and works within her communitypromoting traditional wellness on the Six Nations Reserve, Ohsweken, On-tario, Canada. She also owns a business called Stepping Stones Publicationswhich offers cultural sharing presentations and training for groups, organiza-tions, schools, agencies and professionals. To learn more about Cindy andStepping Stones Publications refer to“Before my moon time began, my aunt told me there was going to be atime when I would seek a boyfriend or partner. Her advice to me was toobserve the family (of the prospective partner). Watch how the sontreats his mother and how his father treats his mother. ‘See if you findrespect and caring she advised. If it is there for the mother it willprobably be there for you. If it is not there for the mother it will proba-bly not be there for you.’Stepping Stones Publications • 2
  3. 3. I was asked, ‘What kind of a relationship do you want?”And I wasasked, ‘What kind of a life do you want for your children?” Then I wastold that there are four kinds of people; happy and caring, angry andjealous, scared and confused, sad and careless. Becoming a partner willnot change the kind of person a boy is for long.My aunt said, ‘Love is the Feeling and Caring is the Action. Love is thefeeling of passion, excitement and happiness of the moment. Caring forsomeone, it can last for a lifetime. It is the sacred, unconditional feelingthat is always constant; a bond that permits people to speak with theireyes, an energy that swirls in their hands and feet, a feeling that letsthem know when they are close by and no matter the distance they canmeet in their dreams.She said, ‘As a Haudenosaunee female, you are sacred. Your responsi-bility is to be a carrier of new life. You choose your partner, the fatherof your children. With the Creator’s blessing you plan when to preparefor the birth of each child. Your children can bond you to their father’sfamily. You can choose to have healthy, unhealthy or a non-existentfamily (paternal) relationship.”Stepping Stones Publications • 3