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Parenting the kids we love


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This is a talk for parents on how to talk to your kids about their sexuality starting at aged 3 all the way up to 18. This talk focuses on Theology of the Body and gives resources and so much more. The recorded talk that goes with it can be accessed here:
You must click the link in blue that says; 41.2 MB
Then forward to the 3 min mark to skip the intro
I do give these talks around the country. To contact me;

Published in: Education
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Parenting the kids we love

  1. 1. Parenting The KidsWe Love
  2. 2. Are We Spiritual Beings?
  3. 3. 5 SensesEmphasis on Body
  4. 4. A Sensual FaithTouch;sacramentals,affectionTaste;After Churchtraditions?Smell;Incense, flowersVisual;Books, movies, signprayers, sacramentalsHearing;
  5. 5. Seeing Is Believing
  6. 6. Subjective vs. Objective
  7. 7. Belief SystemsSubjective Objective
  8. 8. Birth to Three YearsInfants and toddlers learn throughwatching and touching the worldaround them. They are curious,trusting and imaginative. They arevery willing to mirror or copy whatthey see.
  9. 9. Three to Six YearsInterested in love, morality, boys and girls, babiesand God and even their own mortality. Simpleanswers are best. Age appropriate words helpthem to grasp a foundation from which you canbuild upon later. Focus begins to be placed on thesame sex parent as they begin to identify who theyare and what it means to be a boy or girl.
  10. 10. God Made Us To Love andBe Loved Up To Age 61.) GOD created the World andEverything.2) God made us in His imageand likeness, Male and FemalePhysically and Spiritually.Feminine and Masculinegifts3)The Trinity; Father, Son andHoly Spirit
  11. 11. #1God is ourcreator.The CreationStory. World,Plants, Animals,Human Beings
  12. 12. #2God made us witha Body, which wecan see and a Soul,which we cannotsee. We are madeMale or FemaleAnd it was VeryGood!
  13. 13. #3The Trinity; God islove.God is a family ofthree persons;Father, Son andHoly Spirit .We are HisChildren and arecalled to love likethe trinity.
  14. 14. Teaching TheFaithMovies, Books, MusicConversation Starters
  15. 15. Seven to Ten YearsMaturity varies especially betweenboys and girls. Boys usually (butnot always) mature at a slower rate.The attitudes, convictions andcharacter traits that will serve yourchild later in life are developed here.It is important for parents to teachself possession, faith, prayer life (i.e.meals, bed time, guardian prayeretc) as well as teach them theirPERSONAL importance to God andto all who love them. The focusbegins to be placed externally fromfamily life so Friends, Movies,TV,internet, Gaming, should bemonitored.
  16. 16. Ten to Thirteen YearsPhysical and emotional changes andgrowth are accelerated yetpsychologically they are still trying tocatch up. We can forget they are stilljust kids and not young adults yet.The rapid changes in theirdevelopment can make them feelawkward confused and uneasy. Bodyimage begins to be a part of theiridentity. They can become self-conscious, have difficulties makingdecision, be unable to understandconsequences to their decisions. Theopposite sex is now on their radar.This is where the 5 “things” begin(more on this later).
  17. 17. Human Sexuality; TheTeen YearsStart to Noticeopposite sex
  18. 18. God’s plan, Human Sinand Jesus’ LoveUp to age 131.) FREE WILLLove and dignity of person2.) SINConcupiscence, Redemption, Sacraments and Grace, self-possession is KEY3.) Love Vs. Use; True Loves involves Self-sacrificeGod so love us that He became one of us, Jesus gives us The Church and withit, the sacraments from which to grow in holiness. Mary’s yes gave God the bodyand blood from which to offer for the world on the cross.4.) 7 SACRAMENTS & CHURCHGrace, body and soul5)VOCATIONSA calling from God. All called to be Mothers and Fathers (spiritual/Physical)and each of us are unique unrepeatable persons with gifts and charisms for livingout that calling.
  19. 19. Free WillAdam & EveChoice,Personhood,Dignity,LoveNo Choice, object foruse
  20. 20. Human SinThe Need For “Grace”
  21. 21. Concupiscencetemptation and the body
  22. 22. Self-PossessionUnderstandingtheirtemperamentsPracticingMortifications i.e.fasting
  23. 23. Love Vs. UseTrue Love RequiresSelf-Sacrifice
  24. 24. Sacraments, Bodyand Soul, GraceBaptism: Original SinReconciliation; *mortalsin, venial sinEucharist; communionConfirmation; apostlesAnointing of TheSick; Byzantine Catholicsannoint with oil on what wecall “Ash Wednesday” to helpus on our marathon to God!MarriageHoly Orders
  25. 25. Unique and UnrepeatableGifts/PersonsAs disciples, we offer our entire selves to God–including our personalities,natural talents, education, life experience, and background–to be used for hispurposes. But when we serve God, we are not limited to just the gifts withwhich we were born! Our natural talents can be wonderful tools for God’spurposes, and sometimes a charism is added to an existing natural talent by theHoly Spirit after an individual has undergone a deepening conversion.Some charisms may seem “extraordinary” (such as prophecy, healing, ordiscernment of spirits) and others quite “ordinary” (such asadministration, service, hospitality, or mercy), but all charisms areempowered by God. We use our charisms together with our natural talents andall that we are to serve God and our neighbor.
  26. 26. CHARISMS“Charism” is the Greek word used in the NewTestament for “favor” or “gratuitous gift.”Charisms, or spiritual gifts, are special abilitiesgiven to all Christians by the Holy Spirit to givethem the power both to represent Christ and tobe a channel of God’s goodness for people.Whether extraordinary or ordinary, all charismsought to be exercised in the service of God(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2003).
  27. 27. God’s plan for love and lifeRecap: Up to age 131. We are all called to Know GodFather, Son and Holy SpiritFree: Without stringsTotal: Sacrificing for good of otherFaithful: Keeps promises,Fruitful: it brings forth life2. We are called to Love GodOpposite of Love is Use. We express love in and through our bodies. We arecalled to give ourselves as a gift. True love involves self-sacrifice.3.)We are called to Serve God through RelationshipsGod is a relationship and made us for relationship.Friendships: do not bully, stand up for one another, not selfish, do not gossipIn marriages a husband and wife enter into a union with God that is open tochildren because Children are a blessing from God. Those called to religiouslife are called to be mothers and fathers.
  28. 28. Fourteen to EighteenAdolescence is a time of intense physical,emotional and intellectual, social andspiritual growth. Youth discoverthemselves through interpersonalrelationships. Infatuation begins, churchteachings are questioned, new questions areasked as teens become more capable ofabstract thought. Argumentation should beviewed as trying to make sense ofinformation on this deeper level so that theycan make their relationship with God theirown. Speaking a language they can receivebecomes imperative. Not all “arguments”are them arguing, but rather it can be a trueform of searching for truth.
  29. 29. Theology of The Body9-12th grade1.. Created For Love2. Love Defined: Giving Versus Using3. Naked without shame4. Hope and Redemption in Christ5. Truth and Freedom6. Language of The Body7. Free, Total, Faithful, Fruitful8. Marriage9. Celibacy and Religious life10. Vocations11. Dating with Purpose and Purity12. Living it out
  30. 30. It’s not good to be alone;created for by love, for love, to love
  31. 31. The opposite of love is use;we are gifts, not objectsGiftObject
  32. 32. Naked Without Shame“In the beginning it was not so”
  33. 33. Hope and Redemption in Christ;Union and Communion Ultimate fulfillment comes when we are in relationship. We are called to relationship and these relationshipsare to be free, faithful, fruitful and total gifts of ourpersons to another for the better good of the otherperson. Therefore using Free, Faithful, Total andFruitful: True marriage can only be between one man andone woman Homosexual acts are gravely sinful. Pornography, adultery, pre-marital sex are all acts touse another as an object
  34. 34. Truth and FreedomTruth: Objective?Freedom; to desire andchoose the good; accepting theresponsibilities of authenticloveTruth: Subjective?Or Freedom; To dowhatever you want?
  35. 35. Language of The BodyMaking VisibleInvisible; Not only doesour body speak alanguage, we need to makesure what is saying is truth!Any act of physical intimacyoutside of marriage speaks alie because it seeks to use theother person as an object forselfish use.Sexting,pornography, heavypetting etc..
  36. 36. Free, Total,Faithful,FruitfulFree: Jesus and Marymodeled Free sacrificiallove.Total: Willing to die,Jesus and Mary modeledTotal love.Faithful: Embracing theFather’s will, Jesus andMary Modeled Faithfullove.Fruitful: True lovebears spiritual and/ orphysical fruit.
  37. 37. Marriage and Holy OrdersWe are all Called tounion and communionVocationsWe are all called to Marriage. We are all called to Motherhood and Fatherhood.Some are called to Spiritual Motherhood and Fatherhood. Although living aconsecrated single life or as a religious sister is not a sacrament, it is still a verybeautiful way to live out our call to union and communion.
  38. 38. The 5 Things 1.) Peer Pressure 2) Independence 3) Curiosity 4) To Be Loved 5) Pleasure
  39. 39. TEN THINGS1.)More is Caught Than Taught; Our own Ongoing ConversionNot called to be successful just faithful2.) SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE3.) COMMUNITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY4)INTERNET5)AFFIRMATION & AFFECTION6.) Good and Holy FRIENDS7.) GOALS; Putting the future on their radar8.)VOCATIONS; DISCUSS THEM, prepare for them9)UNIQUE UNREPEATABLE PERSONS; Identifying their gifts10.) SACRAMENTS, SACRAMENTALS AND MORE; Living out our faith
  40. 40. More is Caught; your ownrelationship with God the Father, Jesus theBridegroom and The Holy Spirit the paraclete“We are not called to be successful, only called to be faithful” Mother Theresa
  41. 41. Speaking Their Language