The VonNuke Family An Apocalypse Challenge The Pilot
“ Well, you probably just made the worst mistake in your entire life, reader, 'cause this place right here is where I be startin' a legacy, ya dig me, man? I'm a sexilicious young man, name is Chippeth VonNuke, n' I'm expectin' you biatches to read this pile of -” Ignore him, he's a bit tired. And completely out-of-character. Y'see, this brat here is my ...um... handsome simself, but he has had a few ...err... adjustments to his character.
Don't let his adorabubble smile fool you – he has a heart of stone. Y'know that Grumpy-Nice bar? It's empty. Greyed out. Nothing. He's also a Fortune sim. For now, atleast. And that's where the similarities between me and him end, really. He's a neat freak; I'm a slob. He's shy (Supposedly); I'm outgoing. He's serious; I'm playful. And about that 'for now'...?
Errm … yeah. This 'sexalicious' man will be experiencing a fine, fine culinary delight from this day forth. I actually hate Grilled Cheese. If it was 'Grilled Ham' or 'Baked Beans' I'd be all over it, but alas, I must suffer for Plan Permaplat. Speaking of which...: Only 198 more to go!
But that isn't where our story begins, is it? “ It's not?” Well, it is. Kinda, but it really started at Boolprop.com, where some very sadistic simmers decided to update the Apocalypse Challenge for the new EPs. They named themselves the 'Apoca-Borg', and they through together a set of new rules to make all us happy, happy simmers miserable. It shouldn't be too hard, right? I've already half-way completed an Adult Start, which I was proud of before the glitches. How hard can a Uni start be in comparison … with Pet Rules?
“ WITH PET RULES!?!!!eleventy!!1!1!” Don't throw your ZOMG CAPS LOCK at me. It's morally degrading. “ OMGWTFBBQ MORALLY DEGRADING MY ASS!!!1!1!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't even have Pets!!...Wait, I'm in an Apocalypse?” Yeah. With Pet Rules. And Bon Voyage. And Uni. And Nightlife. And OFB. And Seasons. And FreeTime. Oh, and Apartment Life. Plus Kitchen and Bath and Glamour Life.
“ My pimp's not gonna be smiley about this...” LUL_WUT? Pimp? Excuse me while I question my sanity and try on my DIY-StraightJacket. It's FUNALICIOUS! Doodeedoo lalalalala I'm CooCoo for Coco-Puffs. Hehehehehehehheheheheheheheheeheheh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!1!!1!1!!11!!11
Firstly, You're still a Fortune Sim. So we need you to get us some ASPIRATION, k? “ Term Papers? G's like me don't do no term papers!” Your want panel disagrees.
“ Group Research?! I'm flippin' shy, G! Why am I rollin' such stupid wants?” Fortune Sim coding? Don't question the logic of Maxis! “ There's a plumbob in this picture.” Well, everyone's a critic.
Wow! Without that hair, you can see how ugly your eyebrows are! “ These are your eyebrows too, ya dig?” That's why I never move my fringe in public. “ So, why am I doing this?” Earn £100. It's killing me too.
Moar term paper? “ I don't understand it, man. I don't wanna do it!”
“ Well, I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go!”
“ Dude, stop starin'! I may swing like that, but I've been in Apocalypses before, and it is NAAASTY, kapeesh?”
“ Why don't you just rip out my heart and barbecue it; just like a fat man barbecues his children?!” “ ...Dude.”
So, back to skilling. You should max your body skill while your still in college, it'll be very useful for your chosen career. “ But, what career am I doing?” It be a secret, young padawan.
I let him buy a football post with his spare change to build his Sports Enthusiasm. Don't do this. Drains Hygiene and Energy faster than you can say 'Body Skill'! Plus, football on the roof seems like a very dangerous idea.
It's much easier to paint! His major needs it, not his career though. Still, he's amusing himself. “ I'm paintin' the succulent goldenness of a freshly toasted sandwich. OM NOM NOM!” That's nice dear. “ So, can I go downtown now? K.
“ YO, TAXI MAN!” Why you in your Pjs? “ Bad photo arrangement? It's your fault, man.”
So, here's how my 'hood is. All the normal townies – gone. Instead, I yoinked whatever Sim I could find from my sim bin, whether it be a simself, a legacy sim, or a random person I made in BodyShop. All these are eligible for marriage, along with the Hobby Sims, Social Townies and the DownTownies, if young Chippeth here is so inclined. And genderwise, it's free-for-all. I NEED that career! Never you mind what career I need though, it will all be revealed. Yeah, a lame attempt at mystery. Bite me.
And who is the lucky sim I meet first? Well, it's the lovely Candi (Numbers) Simself! Who cares if we both barf NO CHEMISTERY? It just means we won't stalk each other.
She left. Can't say I blame her. However, I was FAR from dejected! One quick Scope Room later and...!
“ Mmmm Mmmm, Harry Granger is one fine mutha-” Yes, yes we get the point. And now we've accidentally set off his gender preference, he'll be heart farting. YAY! Groan We won't be marrying him this generation though...
“ Is that a plumbob? Oh, and yeah, I'm an Astronaut. Only one away from topping Military. So you'll marry me and give me BAYBEEZ? Right?” Errr, sorry Harry. We need S- Errr, something else. Yeah, that works. Don't worry Harry. You're our first friend! Harry Granger, a result of Hermione's ABCs, by Junebug13 over in the Alphabetical Legacy section. READ NOW!
His hook nose, his protruding brow, his thin lips and his goofy fashion sense, not to mention those dominant, dominant genes! Oh my, my heart just did backflips. His name is … oh … crap ...
His name is unimportant! I have decided! All that matters is that he is a Top Secret Researcher, and once Chippeth lifts Natur- err, his career, I will be able to take full advantage of a certain supernatural sim. Plus, I have a default replacement Ideal, so I can have SOME pretty children this generation. Not that it matters, of course.
Back at the ranch, Chippeth influences some young lass to write up his term paper. “ Hmmm … what would such a shmexy gangsta like Chip write?”
“ An Analysis of RnB and its Effects on Obesity! Oh yeah who's a genius? That's right, Demelza!” Woot woot, you go girl!” Moving way, way onwards...
Oi, Chip! “ Yeah bruv'?” You know what you need? “ More cheese? I can dig it.” No, you need a personality that I can actually type. Oh, and three more friends, preferably from the Secret Society.
“ Say, Meadow Thayer face, would you like to do the honour of completing my Term Paper while I prepare for the hard upcoming months?” “ Durrr, okay.” Are you sure Chip? He doesn't seem so clever...
Say, isn't it a great idea to have a complete car to take home? I thought so.
A little bit of paint and … voila! Into inventory where it will stay for the next 3 years.
Maxed Mechanical. I'm sure ya'll bored by now, so I'll speed it up.
First things first, let's find out the name of Ugly Scientist... Hmm...Tyson. Not what I would have chosen, but I gave him a suitable makeover that complied with Chip's turn ons.
Ugly Scientist is still Ugly, but less so. And now he looks more like a 'Tyson', so all is good.
And now they're engaged. I'm sure you're as thrilled as me... I'm getting PlantSims! I'm getting PlantSims! Errr, yes. Thrilled.
So, I finished Sophomore year and thought that I should roll, especially seeing as I'm permaplat. So now he's Knowledge, the middle aspiration that I don't care about. ...I couldn't imagine him as a Knowledge sim, and he's having trouble adjusting...
Yeah, you better enjoy that Bass. Seriously, he keeps rolling wants for pathetically expensive things. Cut it out!
Still, it's handy for maxing his abilities. Don't want our little PlantSims to be forced to skill now, do we?
Why we shouldn't study logic in the rain... Crap crap crap! Not enough aspiration points for an energiser, what to do, what to do!?
Hmmm, I suppose glitch up does seem like a suitable cure to being electricified.
Even after a nice shower, his face remains blue.
Hehe, snubby nose. To the mirror then, IU suppose
Did I mention it's his new LTW to become a Space Pirate? Yeah, it is. I think he looks smashing, personally.
I let him actually use the bathroom instead of an energizer for the like, second time, and I find out he starts to smustle! Get back to work, knave! Only three more skills to max!
It even works with the Thinking Cap! Can I hear a woot woot? Oh yes I can!
“ Say bruv, wouldn't it be wicked if some hoe actually cleaned up this place?” No, no it wouldn't. It would be a waste of influence and/or skilling time.
I missed the Logic one, so this'll have to do.
Ahhh, finally! Summa Cum Laude all the way! I'm soooo happy!!!
Wow, you made it till the end? You must be TL;DR immune! Watch out for Chapter 1 please. It's a whirlwind of a time! I should know, all I need to do it type it up! Thanks for reading. I love you. No, I really do. X x <3