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Maturity in relationships


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The talk based on this ppt can be heard here:

The speaker, Chaitanya Charan, is a monk, mentor and spiritual author. He has written 20 books and writes the world's only daily blog on the timeless spiritual class, Bhagavad-gita, at

Published in: Self Improvement
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Maturity in relationships

  1. 1. Maturity in relationships
  2. 2. Four principles Accept Ascertain Appreciate Act
  3. 3. Accept Don’t let your expectations of life come in the way of your life
  4. 4. Accept Rowing with oar in boat in ocean vs Rowing in ocean
  5. 5. Accept Accepting is not agreeing, condoning, capitulating – it is just calling off our war with reality
  6. 6. Accept What frustrates us most is not the reality but the distance between our expectation and the reality
  7. 7. Accept Dhritarashtra never accepted that he couldn’t be the king – was lifelong fighting a battle he had already lost
  8. 8. Ascertain Value-judgments about others cloud our inner vision Eg. Hands in front of our eyes
  9. 9. Ascertain To know people’s background means to know what’s on their back and what’s under their ground
  10. 10. Ascertain Judging without understanding Vali-Sugriva – Best friends becomes worst enemies
  11. 11. What’s under their ground What has shaped their conceptions about themselves, others and the world
  12. 12. Ascertain Everyone needs to be understood as much as they need oxygen Hearing without evaluating gives them psychological oxygen
  13. 13. Appreciate Begin with the 1% commonality, not the 99% difference Eg. Gita 18.20 vs 18.21
  14. 14. Appreciate Focus on common values, not on differing methods Eg. Gita 05.02
  15. 15. Appreciate Others are dancing to a different tune, not out of tune
  16. 16. Appreciate Desensitized vs insensitive Eg. Cleanliness
  17. 17. Appreciate “I wish I could walk as fast as you” Look for blessings, not for problems
  18. 18. Appreciate “I can live for two months on a good compliment” “We never know the worth of water ’til the well runs dry.”
  19. 19. Act Maturity means that no one is obliged to fulfill our needs
  20. 20. Act Don’t depress yourself or others – depress your expectations of yourself and others
  21. 21. Act The heaviest thing to hold is a grudge – experience the freedom of letting go
  22. 22. Act In the war of egos, the winner is the bigger loser – Let go
  23. 23. Act Speak to give peace of mind, not a piece of your mind eg. Gita 17.15
  24. 24. Act Tolerate Mitigate Emigrate
  25. 25. Act Krishna is our ultimate shelter Let he be our anchor amidst emotional and relational storms
  26. 26. Act See every relationship as an impetus for connecting with Krishna – some positive, some negative
  27. 27. Act Don’t see through others; See others through