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3 metaphors for effective parenting


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The talk based on this ppt can be heard here:

The speaker, Chaitanya Charan, is a monk, mentor and spiritual author. He has written 20 books and writes the world's only daily blog on the timeless spiritual class, Bhagavad-gita, at

Published in: Self Improvement
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3 metaphors for effective parenting

  1. 1. 3 Metaphors for Effective Parenting - By Chaitanya Charan
  2. 2. Overview 1. Drona’s Academy - Common and Customised 2. 3 Metaphors: PGD - Pottery Gardening Driving 3. PGD - Parent Guide Detachedly 4. What detachment means & what it doesn’t
  3. 3. Drona’s Academy - Common & Customised Each Pandava excelled in different skills; 1. Yudhishthir - Dharmaraj Most virtuous 2. Bhima - Physical strength & Prowess 3. Arjuna - Master Archer 4. Nakula - Attractive, Humble & Diplomatic 5. Sahadev - Wisest of all
  4. 4. Pottery Do parents shape their children’s mind the way a potter shapes clay?
  5. 5. Gardening Are parents like gardeners who facilitate the growth of seeds into flowers?
  6. 6. Driving Teach driving skills and give directions Everyone has to drive their own car
  7. 7. Parents Guide Detachedly karmaṇy evādhikāras te mā phaleṣu kadācana mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr mā te saṅgo ’stv akarmaṇi - BG 2.47
  8. 8. Parents Guide Detachedly Detachment is not the absence of emotions, it is absence of emotional dependence
  9. 9. Everyone to be feel understand before they understand Understanding is to the human heart what oxygen is to the biological heart.
  10. 10. Understand children’s identity confusion Not small enough to be satisfied by identifying as their parent’s children but Not old enough to have an identity of their own Under tremendous peer pressure in their search for identity
  11. 11. Be patient “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to 21 I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” - Mark Twain
  12. 12. Reinforce desirable behaviour, not undesirable behaviour If children speak, “Something interesting happened today,” ● Hear them, putting your phone down & ● Hear them out before judging.
  13. 13. Make judgements but don’t be judgemental 1. Prescriptive - You do this 2. Normative - This is the right thing to do 3. Descriptive - This is what I do & this is why
  14. 14. Follow Krishna’s Example vimṛśyaitad aśeṣeṇa yathecchasi tathā kuru 18.63 ● God doesn’t walks for us but he walks with us. ● We can’t walk for our children, but we can walk with them.
  15. 15. 2 Modes of devotional surrender: 1. Diligence for Krishna - Arjuna Pre-teen children - The love that guards 1. Dependence on Krishna - Draupadi Teen & Post-teen children - The love that guides
  16. 16. Foster intrinsic self-worth, not extrinsic self-worth Appreciate children for their commitment, not their achievement
  17. 17. Be patient Long term relationship matters more than short term results