Interpersonal communication

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Interpersonal communication

  1. 1. Corporate Communication Course Welcome! Carmine D’Arconte cdarconte@uniroma3.it 1 Carmine D’ArconteC..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  2. 2. Our programme1. Interpersonal communication2, Corporate communication Direct marketing, Relationship marketing and Crm,Customer Relationship Management Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  3. 3. Interpersonal Communication From words to dialogue Carmine D’ArconteC..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  4. 4. What exactly are corporate and interpersonal communication? What kind of relationship between them? Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  5. 5. Corporate is someting related to a corporationthat is an organization, a legal entity separatefrom the persons who own it or the persons whomanage or operate itBut what is communication? Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  6. 6. Communication? It seems to be something rather complicated! Carmine D’ArconteC..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  7. 7. To start with let’s try to understand what is acorporate or a company and which role is playedby communication in the management of acompany Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  8. 8. The (profit) Company Servizi Ambiente esterno/stakeholders Prodotti Produzione marketing Azienda Clienti Finanza e controllo CapitaliData Base Markeitng Flussi di cassa Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  9. 9. Communication plays a vital role in the handling ofcompany relationships with its stakeholders andoptimizing the redemption of investments.Marketing is an important part of communication Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  10. 10. Is there any relation between corporate andinterpersonal communication?Or to put it in another way:“ to understand and master corporate communication dowe need to master first Interpersonal communication? Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  11. 11. DEFINITELY YES, THE RELATIONSHIP EXISTS AND ISSUBSTANTIAL!Why?Because a company is, in the final analysis , made ofpeople who are continuously communicating with oneanother.Some of these people are also interacting officially withthe external stakeholders (and many others do it unoffi-cially).People, be they executives or employees, always remainfirst of all “people”.. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  12. 12. The most important relationships at work. Work: external context customers social and economic context ownerssuppliers shareholders technological unions law environmentcompetitors Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  13. 13. The most important relationships at work. Work: internal context parents ssoq headmasterstudents controller secretary/assist ant internal customers aidescolleagues Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  14. 14. So whatever organization we take into account, everybo-dy who is working in it, is automatically involved andsubmerged in a network of relationships that may regardeither the external or the internal stakeholders, or both ofthem.Communication may be both on an official or (as oftenhappens) on an unofficial level. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  15. 15. An important aspect is that the external communicationprocess, though exchanged between companies, actuallyis carried out mainly by some, so to say, special indivi-duals.Let’s immagine for example that an important contract isfinally signed up between two companies after a long andheavy negotiation. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  16. 16. A lot of people from both companies probably gave animportant contribution to achieve this important objectivebut there is no doubt that a primary role was played by theindividuals who because of their specific role interacted bydirectly negotiation at different levels (technical, logistical,economic and so on).The final decision is probably made through the interactionof very few people (decision makers) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  17. 17. When considering the internal side of a company, thesituation seems to be the same. Think of managementand Unions negotiating something, or the relationshipbetween a boss and his aide ending up in promotion andsalary increase (or in a dismission) and so on.Here again a prearranged and well defined process is runby individuals who interact among them.The final result, without any possible doubt, depends onthe kind of relationship established among the differentplayers during the negotiation. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  18. 18. So in a company, interpersonal communication alsoseems to be a key factor to determine succes or failure.What about our private life ? Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  19. 19. Here again, if you consider carefully yourenvironment, it’s easy to realise that we aresubmerged in a “sea” of different relationships andthat we must be able to manage all of them in thebest possible way Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  20. 20. The most important relationships in private life Private life. The external context Parents/father and mother in law Disabled parents/father and mother in law wife/husband/partner friendsSons/daughters acquaintances relatives Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  21. 21. The most important relationships with oneself Private Emotional self Logical self Conscious self Inconscious selfRelation selfPragmatic self Intellectual self Physical self Moral self Cultural self Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  22. 22. In business communication it doesn’t make senseto be spontaneous and tell a customer whatever welike (e.g. What an awful suit your wear today, orhow ugly you are, but also how sexy you look today!) Definitely communication must be handled in theproper way or, otherwise, we may anger and irritateour customers Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  23. 23. In private life it’s much more complicated to findthe proper trade-off between spontaneity andcommunication effectiveness but the stakes may beeven higher and also in this case communicationmust be handled in the proper way to obtain whatwe want. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  24. 24. In corporate and interpersonal communication the mainobjective, to a certain extent, seems therefore to besubstantially the same.In both cases the final objective is not just to transmit a pieceof information but to obtain something. It may be:from other people when we “sell” something (an idea, a belief,a brand) and we induce them to do something (buy a productor service, have new friends )from ourselves (as when we learn to do something or wemake a progress in someting) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  25. 25. So interpersonal communication seems to be a keyfactor to determine success or failure even in ourprivate lifeIn both case we need to maximize and optimize theuse of the limited resources that we have, such as•life time•opportunities•money Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  26. 26. To obtain this we need to be able to “change” ourbehaviour or other people behaviour in order thatthe same change might produce better results forus.It seems that actual changes as result of thecommunication process may be extremely poor Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  27. 27. Possible results in the communication processI could know100I know80I transmit70It is received40It is heard30It ìs understood20It is remembered10It is done (actuallearning/behaviour)5 Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  28. 28. • What are we doing and what are we able to do in order to maximize our opportunities in life?• Very little, at least this is the case for most of us. We generally seem to be like prisoners of well established automatisms (What Paul Watzlawick calls the more of the same principle) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  29. 29. What could we do?• First of all understand and feel that we are submerged in a “sea” of different and changing relationships that in no way may be disregarded• Then understand that we need a high and specific skill for every kind of relationship (different relationships must be managed in different ways)• Finally be clear in our mind that everything changes and that our communication approach must be adapted continuously to these changes. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  30. 30. • Let’s think just for a moment about our partner………………………………………..A hint on - zero-sum game (you win, I loose or you loose I win) - non-zero-sum game (we win or loose together) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  31. 31. Boundary line concept• It’s impossible to change certain things or situations (and must be accepted as they are)• A few things may be changed even in a substantial way• A lot of important things ( generally much more than we think) may be improved, sometimes significantly in other cases just a little• In any case let’s make no illusions, to “change” may be very hard, sometimes impossible but there are a lot of things that can be done if we really want Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  32. 32. Boundary line Let’s understand in which area is located our objectiveImpossibility area Impossibility area Difficulty Difficulty Area Possibility area area area ImpossibilityImpossibility area area Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  33. 33. The idea is therefore to learn something about interpersonalcommunication that may enable us:•First to improve our relationships in private life•Second to learn corporate communication whilst alwaysbearing in mind the interpersonal communication principles Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  34. 34. The communication foundationsThe Shannon Weaver ModelAdvanced modelsHints on mirroring and neuro-linguistic programming Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  35. 35. Information and communication One way communication (information)EMITTENTE RICEVENTE Messaggio Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  36. 36. Information and communication One way communication (information)EMITTENTE RICEVENTE Messaggio Two ways communication (real communication)EMITTENTE RICEVENTE Messaggio Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  37. 37. The communication Process Carmine D’ArconteC..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  38. 38. The communication process and common “areas” to share Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  39. 39. Corporate Communication Course Carmine D’Arconte cdarconte@uniroma3.it 2 Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  40. 40. Critical aspects in interpersonal communication The fundamental contribution of Paul Watzlawick The situation is hopeless but not serious (The pursuit of unhappiness) LION BOOKSHOP TEL 06 32650437 ISBN 978039393310214 Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  41. 41. Paul WatzlawickThe situation is hopeless but not serious (The pursuit of unhappiness) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  42. 42. The pursuit of unhappiness?Why is the author so concerned to help people being unhappy or, to put it better,as unhappy as possible?We are accustomed to other kind of advice; generally we expect people to adviseus how to solve problems and leave us in peace and as happy as possible.What’s going on here ?The explanation may be found in Mr. Watzlawick’s experience as apsychotherapist. He was an associate in the Mental Research Institute in PaloAlto and worked as a clinical professor in the department of psychiatry andbehavioral sciences, at Stanford University Medical Center Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  43. 43. The pursuit of unhappiness?It seems that if we tell someone the right thing to do in order to sort out hisproblem he will be generally inclined to ignore us or, even worse, that he willbe unconsciously spurred to continue doing as before.So our advice, as right and well founded as it might be, may even turn out to havethe opposite effect.It seems that people have to discover by themselves what is right or wrong forthem. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  44. 44. The pursuit of unhappiness?Paul Watzlawick’s experience, suggests that a positive reaction mayoccur if we suggest to a person who is in trouble, due to hisbehaviour, what he must do in order to get even further introuble. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  45. 45. The pursuit of unhappiness?An example might beDon’t take any drugs as they are very harmful for your health.This type of advice will be most likely completely ignored.Another way might be: take as many drugs as you can so thatyou’ll soon be addicted, become financially ruined and severelyharm your health .The second - provided one is not killed - is more likely to pro-duce a better effect as the recipient is faced with his realisticand likely future. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  46. 46. The book may be divided in two parts:1. Chapters 1- 8 Production of unhappiness byourselves (no relationship with other people)2. Chapters 9 - 14 Production of unhappiness inrelationships with other people Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  47. 47. Around one century ago Bertrand Russel insisted on astrict separation between statements about things andstatements about relationships ! Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  48. 48. This apple is red (is something) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  49. 49. This apple (the first one) is bigger than the second (issomething else) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  50. 50. “This apple is red” is a statement about the properties ofthis apple“This apple is bigger than that one” is a statement aboutthe relationship between these two apples.It does not make sense if applied to one or other appleseparately, for the proposition “bigger than” is not locatedin one of them, but in their relationship to each other. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  51. 51. Let’s go back to the book!The first part (introduction and chapters 1- 8) regards the“production of unhappiness by ourselves” as follows:Introduction to the importance of unhappinessTo thine own self be true ( be sure there is only one right view: one’s own!)Four games with the pastRussians and AmericansThe story of the hammerA handful of beansChasing away the elephantsSelf-fulfilling propheciesBeware of arriving Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  52. 52. To thine own self be true!Be sure there is only one right view: one’s own!Avoid shabby compromises and like the captain of a ship, whichalso the rats have abandoned, steer heroically in the stormy night!.The mere fact that other people may recomend somethingdifferent, becomes the very reason for rejecting it even if, seenobjectively, that something would be to our advantage. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  53. 53. Four games with the pastor….. how to make the past a reliable source of unhappinessThe glorification of the past: If the loss of your beloved causes such infernal pain,how divinely blissful it will be to find him or her againMrs Lot; having the possibility to chose between A or B how to lose both A and BThe fatal glass of beer. Now it’s too late and in any case it was not my faultMore of the same. First there is only one possible solution and if thissolution has not yet produced the desired effect, apply it moreforcefully. Secondly never doubt the assumption that there is onlyone solution Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  54. 54. Avoidance of problems for the purpose of their perpetuationChasing away the elephantsA: Why are you clapping your hands every five seconds?B: To chase away the elephants !A: Elephants ? But there aren’t any around !B: Right, see, I told you so!A horse in a stall, the bell and the electric shock.The spinster story Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  55. 55. Second part. The tragedy of relationships L’enfer sont les autres (J.P.Sartre) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  56. 56. This apple (the first one) is bigger than the second (issomethingelse) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  57. 57. The second part (chapters 9 - 14) regards theproduction of unhappiness in our relationships withothersIf you really loved me you would like garlic“Be soontaneous”why would anybodylove me?The traps of hrlpingThose crazy foreignersLife as a game Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  58. 58. Why would anybody love me?I would not dream of belonging to a club that is willing to have me asa member (Groucho Marx) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  59. 59. The traps of helpingTo the pure (and mentally sane) everything is pure but the pessimist(or the insane) will always find the Achilles heel.The collusion pattern: the role he/she must play in order to make mefeel “real “ is the very role he/she wants to play to bring abouthis/her own reality Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  60. 60. Those crazy foreignersOur world is supposed to be the true world. It is the worlds of theothers that are crazy, deceptive, illusory and weird.In the face of all evidence to the contrary, assume that your ownbehaviour is obvious and normal under all circumstances. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  61. 61. Life as a gameLife is a game where rule number 1 is:this is no game, this is serious.The game theory and zero-sum and non –zero-sum games Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  62. 62. Improving interpersonal communicationThough communication is so important both at work as in private life,people do not seem to take it into proper consideration.We also saw that genetics, experience and automatisms play a keyrole to determine our answer to a certain stimulus.Most of our behaviour seems to be obeying to the “more of the sameprinciple”So, until now we worked on the problems and we understood that wewe should improve ourselves helping us to remain a thinking beingand elevating our consciousness levelLet’s now see what we can do to improve our communication skills Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  63. 63. The communication process and common “areas” to share Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  64. 64. Interpersonal communicationKey principles in communication1. Listen (this means let the other peron speak, force him or her, if strictly necessary, only to come quickly and clearly to the point) and, above all, make an effort to understand what he or she is trying to saying2. When you’re listening try to figure out what kind of person is in front of you and in which way he is communicating with you3. When it will be your turn to speak please make sure that: - your answer is pertinent and to the point (in case there was a problem you should try to come up with possible solutions) - the way you answer is, as far as possible, in line with the communication style of the person you’re speaking to (sharing the common parts and using mirroring technique) Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  65. 65. Interpersonal communicationKey principles in communication4. Bear in mind that most people are likely to judge you in accordance to their personal representation of the world. If you are in accordance with this, they’ll think you’re good (“here is a good guy to do business with” they wll probably think)5. On the contrary if you clash in with the person you’re dealing with, also if your “technical and substantial” offer is good they may be tempted to refuse it. Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  66. 66. How to improve our communication process Steps for improving our communication and become more persuasive Aceptance by the ad hoc Active listening other communication Self Right Bench Selfesteem analysis Mirroring Vac Pilca approach marking Accurate Excelent Consultant approach Crystal clearness and Positive presentation presentation impression on fairness the other Persuasive communication Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome
  67. 67. Boundary line Let’s understand in which area is located our objectiveImpossibility area Impossibility area Difficulty Difficulty Area Possibility area area area ImpossibilityImpossibility area area Carmine D’Arconte C..A. Pratesi Corporate Communication Course. Roma Tre University – February 2011 - Rome

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