SEEK TO UNDERSTAND
CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
DIALOGUE
▸ Do you want to have a conversation?
▸ Prove your point?
▸ Victim / Villain

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
S.T.A.T.E.
▸ Share your facts
▸ Tell your story
▸ Ask for others’ paths
▸ Talk Tentatively
▸ Encourage Testing

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
SHARE YOUR FACTS
▸ Facts are the least controversial
▸ Facts are the most persuasive
▸ Facts are the least insulting

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
TELL YOUR STORY
▸ It takes confidence
▸ Don’t pile it on
▸ Look for safety problems
▸ Use Contrasting

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
ASK FOR OTHERS PATHS
▸ Be open to learning
▸ Find others’ views on the matter

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
TALK TENTATIVELY
▸ Soften the message
▸ “pretending”
▸ Tentative, not wimpy
▸ Don’t be too soft
▸ "This is probably a bad idea, but…”
▸ Don’t be too hard
▸ “That is a stupid idea, how could anybody support that?!?”
▸ Just right
▸ “Is there a big enough risk in our community that we need should do this?”

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
ENCOURAGE TESTING
▸ Make it clear that you want to hear
▸ Safety
▸ Invite opposing views
▸ Mean it
▸ Play devils advocate
▸ Obvious motive

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
HOW DID WE GET LIKE THIS AND HOW DO WE CHANGE?
▸ It starts with a story
▸ Stacked Deck
▸ Laced Language
▸ Dying to convince
▸ Learn to look
▸ Tone down approach
▸ Catch yourself