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HLAA Presents Perseverance Success and You!


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HLAA Presents Perseverance Success and You!

  1. 1. PERSEVERANCE, SUCCESS & YOU Some people are more resilient than others and you can be too!
  2. 2. INTRODUCTION TO PERSEVERANCE Perseverance is… achieving positive growth by overcoming adversity.
  3. 3. Perseverance Model Bounce Back Persist and Endure Achieve Success Be Better For It INTRODUCTION TO PERSEVERANCE
  4. 4.  unexpected  unwanted  unpleasant  unsettling  unlucky  unhappy  unprepared  uncharted  unrelenting  unimagined INTRODUCTION TO PERSEVERANCE
  5. 5. INTRODUCTION TO PERSEVERANCE Perseverance… is a process of choices and actions, not a personality trait.
  6. 6. INTRODUCTION TO PERSEVERANCE APPLICATION Write out a brief description of the problem, crisis or challenge you now wish to overcome “I am profoundly HH in a hearing society and I feel isolated and alone. I am caught between two worlds– hearing people and individuals who are deaf or profoundly HH. I struggle to communicate with both. I miss daughters’ laughter & It’s hard.”
  7. 7. 5 THINGS RESILIENT PEOPLE DO 1. Believe growth is a choice 2. Stare down hard reality 3. Find a higher meaning 4. Use own pain to heal others 5. Visualize the extraordinary
  8. 8. 1.) BELIEVE GROWTH IS A CHOICE No Control (External) Influence (External) You (Internal) We do NOT control the “External” world  All other people  Time and events  Economic pressures  Medical diagnoses  Weather and seasons  Harm and tragedy  Hitting the lottery
  9. 9. 1.) BELIEVE GROWTH IS A CHOICE No Control (External) Influence (External) You (Internal) We DO control the “Internal” self  Reactions to Externals  Decisions, beliefs & values  Plans (not outcomes!)  Self-awareness  Desire, passion & energy  Skills and learning  Behaviors and actions
  10. 10. 1.) BELIEVE GROWTH IS A CHOICE No Control (External) Influence (External) You (Internal) We can “Influence” the External world  It is ineffective to focus on things you do not control  Focus on the External DECREASES Influence  Focus on the Internal INCREASES Influence
  11. 11. Personal Growth Awareness Desire Skill Action Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved 1.) BELIEVE GROWTH IS A CHOICE
  12. 12. 1.) BELIEVE GROWTH IS A CHOICE APPLICATION Write two lists concerning your current challenge: I do NOT Control • That my hearing is kaput • Social bias to Deaf / HH • People who don’t get it • Technology limits • Audience trance I DO Control • How I communicate • How I help others • Asking for help • Learning HH gadgets • My stage presence
  14. 14. THE OPTIMISM TRAP Resilient people keep things real We are hard-wired unrealistic* Optimism: Denial in disguise 2.) STARE DOWN HARD REALITY *People hugely underestimate chances of getting divorced, losing a job and being diagnosed ill while overestimating personal achievement, family fortune and life span. -Time Magazine: The Science of Optimism
  15. 15. INVENTORY COLD HARD FACTS  I lost all hearing; it’s permanent  Career took a major hit  Miss my children’s voices  Get exponentially less information  I feel isolated; talk to less people  Interpreting visual cues is exhausting  Lip reading seems impossible  Yearn for sounds of music, nature, etc.  Depleting all my money 2.) STARE DOWN HARD REALITY
  16. 16. GRIEVE WITH PASSION  Holding back is unhealthy  Sharing pain helps you & others  Process toward healing 2.) STARE DOWN HARD REALITY Sadness, anger and depression are sane reactions to great loss. Grieving is a healthy process with stages that should be experienced, not denied. - Coping with Grief and Loss:
  17. 17. ASK FOR SPECIFIC HELP  Admit you need help (Acceptance) Do not assume they know  Show exactly what to do  Never beg, apologize or demand  Reinforce positive efforts 2.) STARE DOWN HARD REALITY
  18. 18. APPLICATION Inventory all the cold hard facts of your situation. Select 1 item and describe specifically how another person can help you with it. “I can ask my daughters to text or email me a quick summary of their day, every day. Then I can keep a running journal of communications between my kids and their Dad!” 2.) STARE DOWN HARD REALITY
  19. 19. 3.) FIND A HIGHER MEANING “Resilient people know that pain instructs and insist to find lessons through their plight. They are convicted toward a higher purpose in suffering. They simply believe that hurt means more.” – Brian Patrick Jensen
  20. 20. 3.) FIND A HIGHER MEANING  Found CSD via HLAA  Nature is more vivid  Insight into human behavior  Better comprehension via captions  Keener of others’ true feelings  New friends who understand  Inspired by others’ feedback  Better at sharing my heart  Closer to my children  Higher vocation and aspirations  Advocate for Deaf and HH w/ CSD
  21. 21. APPLICATION Write your own list of lessons learned or desirable outcomes that actually occurred as a result of your difficulty (e.g. how I found CSD!) Caution: List only firm convictions, facts or actual events. This is not a wish list or ambiguous hope that something good will come. It must be real. 3.) FIND A HIGHER MEANING
  22. 22. 4.) USE PAIN TO HEAL OTHERS  You are uniquely qualified  Pain instructs far more effectively than positives  Pain creates action; satisfaction breeds sloth  What are your most powerful “pain-connects?”  Rally together with those who “get it” to do something big! “Mr. Jensen is effectively deaf.” Doylestown Hospital-ENT audiology report on 7/9/2010
  23. 23. 4.) USE PAIN TO HEAL OTHERS  Memorized Sarah’s speech  Wrote daughters a poem  Started new blog  Contacted HLAA / ALDA  Implored “Real About Diversity” to HR groups  Joined CSD to help others facing similar challenges  Created this presentation!
  24. 24. APPLICATION Write a list of attributes that make you uniquely qualified to assist others who share your pain; then write second list of actions you can take to reach out to them. Then do it! 4.) USE PAIN TO HEAL OTHERS
  25. 25. 5.) VISUALIZE THE EXTRAORDINARY See higher purpose to current struggles via a concrete vision:  Visualization techniques (as in athletes)  Imagine specifically “Dreams Awake”  Set concrete goals for future
  26. 26. 5.) VISUALIZE THE EXTRAORDINARY “The people cheer wildly. They are moved by my preaching; they are inspired. Cameras are popping, lights are whirling and the ovation is thunderous. The scene overwhelms me with pride and gratitude. I feel a warmth and love and connection with the crowd. It’s magical!” – Dreams Awake blog post by Brian Patrick Jensen
  27. 27. APPLICATION Imagine a future of happiness and accomplishment beyond* your current struggles. Be very specific and write it down. Dream big! *Note: “Beyond” does not mean “without” if your current problem is permanent. I didn’t visualize to be cured of my deafness; rather to use my hearing loss to inspire others that they can overcome their struggles too. 5.) VISUALIZE THE EXTRAORDINARY
  28. 28. 5 THINGS RESILIENT PEOPLE DO 1. Believe growth is a choice 2. Stare down hard reality 3. Find a higher meaning 4. Use pain to heal others 5. Visualize the extraordinary
  29. 29. BE INSPIRED EVERY DAY! Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth. –Mark Twain