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Conflicts new flexability


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What is conflict ! types of conflicts ...conflict transformation and management !

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Conflicts new flexability

  1. 1. Conflicts 20 .0 3 .201 1 Anna Poghsoyan
  2. 2. Agenda <ul><li>Introduction to the session and aim & objectives </li></ul><ul><li>Participants’ needs and expectations </li></ul><ul><li>Definition of the conflict (the levels, sources, function…) </li></ul><ul><li>Exploring a conflict scenarios </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict Handling Skills </li></ul><ul><li>Communication strategies for resolving conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Negotiation techniques </li></ul>
  3. 3. Workshop Outcomes <ul><li>The purpose of this workshop is to: </li></ul><ul><li>Help participants identify and understand conflict better; </li></ul><ul><li>Provide techniques for improving conflict resolution and communication skills; </li></ul><ul><li>Help participants resolve sample conflicts and build a climate of cooperation and be aware of and recognize cultural differences and needs </li></ul>
  4. 4. Expectations <ul><li>What do I want to get out of this workshop? </li></ul><ul><li>What do I want to contribute? </li></ul>
  5. 5. Code of Conduct <ul><li>Respect : no verbal or physical abuse, religion segregation , racial discrimination, racist language or behavior is acceptable. </li></ul><ul><li>Space : people should have time and space to say what they need to, that means no interrupting, shouting down or hogging attention. </li></ul><ul><li>Care : people should do their best to be sensitive to the needs of the other members of the group; for example, listen quietly when difficult issues are being spoken about, be encouraging and positive, and frame critical remarks constructively. </li></ul><ul><li>Confidentiality : people should be free to say things that they wish to remain confidential and would say so if this is the case. Others need to respect the confidentiality. </li></ul>
  6. 6. <ul><ul><li>What do you think of when you hear the word “conflict&quot;? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>What feelings do you have when you think about conflict? </li></ul></ul>WHAT IS CONFLICT? <ul><ul><li>What kinds of things have you seen that cause conflicts to happen? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>What kinds of things have you done or seen people do that help to resolve conflicts? </li></ul></ul>
  7. 7. Definitions of Conflict <ul><li>… . a disagreement between people where they seem to want two different things </li></ul><ul><li>....a struggle over values and claims to scarce status, power and resources (Lewis Coser) </li></ul><ul><li>.....a clash of ideas, interests, behaviours of two or more individuals or groups </li></ul><ul><li>… .. a state of opposition, disagreement or incompatibility between two or more people or groups of people, which is sometimes , but not necessarily characterized by physical violence . </li></ul><ul><li>… .an interaction or situation of tension between interdependent people who perceive incompatible interests, needs and goals. </li></ul>
  8. 8. Conflict is Constructive when <ul><li>Results in clarification of important problems and issues </li></ul><ul><li>Results in solutions to problems </li></ul><ul><li>Involves people in resolving issues important to them </li></ul><ul><li>Helps release emotion, anxiety, and stress </li></ul><ul><li>Builds cooperation ad trust among people through learning more about each other; </li></ul><ul><li>Joining in resolving the conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Helps individuals develop understanding and skills </li></ul>
  9. 9. Conflict is Destructive when <ul><li>Takes attention away from other important activities </li></ul><ul><li>Undermines morale or self-concept </li></ul><ul><li>Polarizes people and groups, reducing cooperation </li></ul><ul><li>it diverts energy </li></ul><ul><li>Increases or sharpens difference </li></ul><ul><li>Leads to irresponsible and harmful behavior, such as fighting, name-calling </li></ul><ul><li>Parties take ‘either - or’ positions, believing their way is right and develop negative feelings toward each other </li></ul>
  10. 10. Key Messages About Conflict <ul><li>Conflict is neither good nor bad </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict is inevitable </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict does not have to result in winners and losers </li></ul><ul><li>In conflict both parties tend to believe that their opinion is fact </li></ul>
  11. 11. Key Messages About Conflict <ul><li>Too often both parties see themselves as innocent victims who represent the side of truth and fairness </li></ul><ul><li>Too often both parties perceive all destructive acts carried out by others completely blind to identical acts carried out by self or those on ‘my’ side. </li></ul>
  12. 12. Conflict Types Conflicts <ul><li>Political </li></ul><ul><li>Cultural </li></ul><ul><li>Ethnic </li></ul><ul><li>Religion </li></ul><ul><li>Economical </li></ul><ul><li>Psychological ... </li></ul><ul><li>Interests </li></ul><ul><li>Roles </li></ul><ul><li>Values </li></ul><ul><li>Positions </li></ul>Conflicts
  13. 13. Conflict escalation stages Open conflict or war Hidden stage Struggle of interests Escalation stage De-escalation stage
  14. 14. Conflict Stages They always rotate each other CR AC P CC
  15. 15. Conflict stages Conflict Hidden stage Open actions stage Conflict management and negotiations
  16. 16. In result Lost of recourses 1. Price- benefit model 3. Lost of social support 2.
  17. 17. Sources of the conflict 1 What causes conflict? 2 3 Take a few minutes to identify common causes or sources of conflict in your family, your community, your Get in smalls groups and share the sources of conflict with others Group presentation … . 4
  18. 18. Perception and lack of communication…. In each situation multiple interpretation exist What we believe to be true is relative to who we are Perception is relative to Identity
  19. 19. Whom can you see on this photo?
  20. 20. Profil of a YOUNG woman Profil of an OLD woman
  21. 21. What about this one ?
  22. 22. An Inuit from his back The profile of a native American
  23. 23. Communication Active Listening ակտիվ լսելու տեխնիկա Visual Contact Dialog Your Slogan here NOTE: cultural norms of different nations and societies vary greatly and thus have a major influence on the skill of active listening
  24. 24. Secrets Of Communication
  25. 25. Communication Effective communication … Listen in an understanding and supportive way, using your whole body, not just your ears. … Listen for the whole message by paying attention to body language, feelings, the meaning of what is said and what is not said. … Do not prejudge because of previous history, dress, accent or other irrelevant characteristics. … .Do not interrupt the other party. We can listen three to five times faster than someone can talk. If you disagree, do not become aggressive. ….Restate the other party's comments, present your point of view, and return the dialogue to the other party by asking for a reaction to your views.
  26. 26. Communication Assertive behavior , i.e., clearly expressing what you feel and saying what you want; Active listening, i.e., listening in an understanding, non-judgmental and supportive way
  27. 27. Characteristics of Communication Behaviors Assertive Behavior Passive-aggressive Behavior Aggressive Behavior Passive Behavior
  28. 28. Characteristics of Communication Behaviors <ul><li>1. Passive Behavior </li></ul><ul><li>Passive behavior is revealed when we: </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Don’t participate or share our thoughts and ideas </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Always stick to middle-of-the-road, refraining from taking a stand </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Allow others to make decisions for us </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Keep our voice low &/or avoid eye contact; keep from calling attention to ourselves </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Verbally agree with others despite our real feelings </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Bring harm or inconvenience to ourselves to avoid harming or inconveniencing others </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Consider ourselves less knowledgeable or capable than others. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  29. 29. Characteristics of Communication Behaviors <ul><li>Aggressive Behavior </li></ul><ul><li>An aggressive behavior is revealed when we: </li></ul><ul><li>Interrupt others when they are speaking </li></ul><ul><li>Try to impose our position on others </li></ul><ul><li>Make decisions for others </li></ul><ul><li>Accuse, blame and find fault with others without regard for their feelings </li></ul><ul><li>Bring harm or cause inconvenience to others rather than to ourselves </li></ul><ul><li>Consider ourselves stronger and more capable than others </li></ul><ul><li>Accept responsibility and positions of authority for the purpose of manipulation or to give us a means of influencing others </li></ul>
  30. 30. Characteristics of Communication Behaviors <ul><li>Passive Aggressive Behavior </li></ul><ul><li>Passive Aggressive Behavior is revealed when we: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Don’t participate and share thoughts when it is appropriate, e.g., in a meeting, but become very vocal when the issue can no longer be addressed, e.g., in the back room or with one or two people </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Deny people an opportunity to deal with dissent since opinions not expressed openly are difficult to deal with openly </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Whisper or exclude some people from hearing your point of view; or make side comments that all cannot hear and no one can respond to since the comments were not addressed to the entire group </li></ul></ul>
  31. 31. Characteristics of Communication Behaviors <ul><li>Assertive Behavior </li></ul><ul><li>Assertive behaviour is revealed when we: </li></ul><ul><li>Allow others to complete their thoughts before we speak </li></ul><ul><li>Stand up for the position that matches our feelings or the evidence </li></ul><ul><li>Make our own decisions based on what we think is right </li></ul><ul><li>Face problems and decisions squarely </li></ul><ul><li>Consider ourselves strong and capable, but generally equal to other people </li></ul><ul><li>Face responsibility with respect to our situation, our own and others’ needs and rights. </li></ul>
  32. 32. Thomas Kilman Conflict Handling Styles Competing Avoiding Compromising Collaborating Accommodating
  33. 33. <ul><li>Competing is assertive and uncooperative. </li></ul><ul><li>Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative. </li></ul><ul><li>Compromising is intermediate in assertiveness as well as in cooperativeness. </li></ul><ul><li>Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. The conflict is not addressed at all </li></ul><ul><li>Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative. </li></ul><ul><li>. </li></ul>
  34. 34. Three Steps to Assertive Communication: <ul><li>1. Describe the situation or idea as clearly and specifically as you can. </li></ul><ul><li>2. Express how you feel about the situation. (Note: Use &quot;I&quot; or &quot;My&quot; statements to refer to how you are feeling and what you are thinking.) </li></ul><ul><li>3. Specify what you want. Include a specific deadline. </li></ul>
  35. 35. Practicing <ul><li>Example: </li></ul><ul><li>Someone has pushed in front of you in a line for a bus </li></ul><ul><li>Please choose to respond assertively </li></ul>
  36. 36. Practicing <ul><li>Describe the situation: “Excuse me. There is a line-up here of people who all want to get onto the next bus. Some of us have been waiting for over an hour. </li></ul><ul><li>Express how you feel: I find it frustrating that you just push into line without concern for others and their needs to get to work on time. </li></ul><ul><li>Specify what you want done: I think it is only fair that you go to the end of the line and wait your turn with the rest of us. </li></ul>
  37. 37. Negotiation <ul><li>Negotiation consists of discussions between two or more parties around specific issues for the purpose of reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement . </li></ul><ul><li>Everyone is a negotiator !!! </li></ul>
  38. 38. Win –Win Win-Lost Lost- Win Lost – Lost
  39. 39. WIN-WIN <ul><li>Win-win negotiation is an approach to negotiating that stresses common interests and goals. </li></ul><ul><li>By working together parties can seek creative solutions and reach decisions in which all parties can win </li></ul>
  40. 40. Some guidelines <ul><li>Always frame using neutral language. Use objective and blame free language. </li></ul><ul><li>Move participants from positions to interests </li></ul><ul><li>Defuse hostilities </li></ul><ul><li>Try to clarify the issue from a neutral, third party perspective </li></ul><ul><li>Deal with one issue at a time </li></ul><ul><li>Get agreement that both parties want to resolve the issue </li></ul><ul><li>Be short and concise </li></ul><ul><li>Frame, don’t solve </li></ul>
  41. 41. <ul><li>Action Planning </li></ul>
  42. 42. <ul><li>Take all that you have learned </li></ul><ul><li>Decide what you are going to do </li></ul><ul><li>Review a conflict you are involved with and determine how you are going to address it. </li></ul><ul><li>Complete the action plan chart below to help you prepare for taking action </li></ul>
  43. 43. Peace Forever
  44. 44. Anna Poghosyan [email_address] Thank You 