WHAT DO YOU THINK TO YOURSELFBEFORE YOU MEET YOUR DATE?•MICHAEL: Sometimes I think, “Damn, I’m handsome, smart, and charming. If she doesn’t fall for me, she’s probably dense and blind.” Other times I think “What was she thinking when she agreed to go out with me? She probably just wants a free dinner. She probably feels bad for me.” But I’m becoming more successful at clearing my mind before a date. I usually stay busy until right before I have to leave, attempting to go into a date without anxiety. I try not to judge myself or judge my date as either prettier than me, dumber than me, or more desperate than me. If I go into the date without expectations and let things flow effortlessly, everything usually goes smoothly. I can then be more honest about whether or not we have a connection and we can mutually decide whether we want to see each other again.•ILANA: I case the joint for emergency exits, make sure I have a girlfriend scheduled to call me 30 minutes in should I need an emergency exit, pray to God I have not made a bad decision and am about to meet someone unsafe, order a drink, pop a TicTac and hope for the best.
WHO PAYS FOR A FIRST DATE?MICHAEL: It depends. If I ask her out, it is myresponsibility to pay. She agreed to go out with meand I want to show my gratitude and treat hergallantly—I want her to know that I am agentleman, but I also don’t want to seem like I amjust trying to “win” her. If she asks me out, it is a trickier situation—especially if she chooses the restaurant. I maynot be able to afford it. I’ll make sure that I haveenough to cover the tab, but I think she should offerto pay her portion. Then, I can tell her not to worry about it. If she insists, I don’t stand in herway. Instead, I say that I will buy ice cream/coffeeafter dinner—this stops the fight over the bill andguarantees a dating continuance. After the first date, it is dependent upon morefactors; it becomes more complicated. Footing the
DO YOU DRINK ON A DATE?MICHAEL: I don’t drink. I am a recovering alcoholic. But I don’tmind if my date orders something while we are out. It trulydoesn’t bother me. If it did, I would tell her. Last night, I went outwith someone who ordered a vodka tonic. I ordered a dietcoke. She asked why I am not drinking and I told her the truth,without trying to shy away or hide.It didn’t seem to bother her. And if it did, c’est la vie. It’s better toget it out in the open on the first date than the fifth. But if you aregoing out with an alcoholic, I suggest that you respect their diseaseand don’t drink—at least on the first date. It is just morerespectful.ILANA: I am a very lightweight drinker. Two cocktails and I do nothave a clear ability to make the right decisions. I generally stayaway from drinking until I know the man, feel safe, and can relax alittle. On a first date one glass of wine is my limit and I will nurse itover 2 hours. If I am on a date with someone who does not drink,then neither will I.
IS AGE A FACTOR WHEN DATING?MICHAEL: I have a lot in common with manywomen who are much older than me, just as Ihave little in common with many women myage. Maturity is much more important. Iwould love to date a 35 year-old woman. Iwould also date an 18 year old. Age is notreally an issue.ILANA: Yes. I cannot relax with a man who ismuch younger than me, or one that is mucholder than me either. I am really trying toloosen up on this issue. I would hate to missout on a great man because I have a hang upabout him being too young or too old.
HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU SPEND ONA DATE?MICHAEL: I don’t make much money. If a woman judgesme based upon the amount of money I spend, she is notsomeone I should be with. We can eat good food in apleasant atmosphere and do something fun afterward allfor under $40 dollars. If Rachel Ray can eat for under $40 aday, I can certainly charm someone without muchmoney. The best dates I’ve been on have been thecheapest. I don’t know if it’s coincidence or not. But whenI spend more money, the date seems to be worse. I don’twant to buy her, I want to charm her.ILANA: It does not matter, just have a good time. If hecan’t pay, I can.
Dating Customs Around the WorldAfghanistanDating is rare in Afghanistan because most marriages are arranged by parents, andschools are separate for boys and girls. The opportunities to meet are rare. Girlshave a 7:00 P.M. curfew, while boys have an 11:00 P.M. curfew.AustraliaMost teens go out in large groups and dont pair off until they are 18 or 19 yearsold in Australia. Girls often ask out boys and pay for the date, too. Couples often goto dinner parties, barbecues, or the beach.Central and South AmericaDating is not allowed until the age of 15 here. When of age, most boys and girlsdate in large groups, going out together to weekend dance parties. When notdancing, teens gather at local clubs to eat and talk.EuropeDating is usually a group event in Europe. In Finland, as many as 30 teens mayattend a movie together. Slumber parties are common in Italy and Switzerland,where teens gather for parties at a home and sleep there when the party is over.In Spain teens join a pandilla, a club or a group of friends with the same interests,like cycling or hiking. Dating is done one-to-one and both girls and boys ask eachother out and split the cost of the evenings entertainment.In Russia dates take place at dances or at clubs where teens eat or chat withfriends. In small towns, teens meet in the streets downtown or gather around afountain.
•IranIt is against the law to date in Iran. Teens are separated untilthey are of marrying age, then their families introduce them toeach other and sometimes a courtship follows.•Japan and KoreaIn Japan and Korea, most high school students dont date or goto parties, but spend their time studying instead. Dating beginsin college, when only boys do the asking and pay for the dates.
ARE THERE PLACES WHERE DATING IS NOT ALLOWED?• -a sacred place, -library, -cemetery, and TPS or TPA ETC… HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ONLINE DATING? ARE THERE ONLINE DATING USEFUL OR USELESS ?????