It’s ALL in Your Head. Our body image is a view that we keep in our head and that view continues our behaviorWell meaning people say it’s about what you put in your mouth or how much you move. If you could just…..
And the less you believe it’s in your head, the more it becomes in your head.You see, what’s in your head is how you RELATE to reality.
My pervasive reality was that it DIDN’T MATTER what I weighed.
What did matter to me was being successful in business. And I was infuriated with the idea that being fit and being successful in business were correlated. Eff that. I'm a highly competent businesswoman. I just happen to be fat. That doesn’t MATTER. But I did spend a lot of time thinking about why I was successful in some areas of my life (like business) and not in others (like weight management and romance).
I came to realize there were five common motivations present in all the places I was successful and they were the same motivations missing in the areas that I was not. So, in business, I work tirelessly to empower others, be grateful to those who contribute and connect people who need to know each other. Power comes from service and allowing others to contribute so you can be grateful. This is a truth that I live by and it is the common thread in all the successful empires I have built. Do you know where it didn't exist? in my weight management and my romantic life.You see, these were things I didn't need other people,I can do it myself and it’s really none of their business anyway. But I couldn't know it all into success. Especially because my main theory was that it didn’t matter. I needed other people. And I had to start by telling them the truth.
Guess what? I'm FAT! And I don't want to be. Would you please help me to: -recommend a professional-support my diet plan-suggest alternate activities And guess what? No one was shocked at this news. And just like in business, when I ask for introductions, recommendations or request contribution to a project and provide a way for people to add value, they all showed up to happily help. And this is what ppl mean when they say, it has to become part of your life. But I knew it had to be bigger. And I had to empower others. But how in the world can someone who has failed at weight management empower others?
Then a funny thing happened. A friend introduced me to an executive from the new hotel in town over drinks. she said - tell him about the swap. The swap? You mean, where I invite my girlfriends over and we trade the stuff we cleaned out of our closets before some unlucky soul gets nominated to drive it to goodwill. I tell the man about the swap and it turns out, their national chain has a vested interest in DFS. And if I was willing to send the leftovers there, they would donate the food, the space, and did I need an open bar? In the process, I learned that DFS desperately needed plus size corporate wear. Well whaddya know, desperate to get rid of it. Secretly of course. Because no one knew I was overweight and even if they did, it didn't matter. We struck a deal and 300 of my closest friends and associates were invited to participate.
One week before the swap, I asked the doctor I was working with if he would come have a table and sponsor a crazy idea I had to collect women there who were interested in a publicity stunt to donate their entire wardrobes to DFS. He said yes without even blinking. Crap, now I'm committed. So giant signs were made. A booth was setup. And I promised the world Id give away my nice, tailored, expensive wardrobe in 5 months because I was on a journey to lose 100lbs and 11 sizes. Six women signed up to join me.
And a magical thing happened, business. In doing this good work, I was connected to a powerful person who I made space to contribute. And now my little party was a thing. A very big thing.
So that day, I was in service. I empowered hundreds of people--300 people swapped 8000 things in 4 hours.-the staff, the attendees, the volunteers and the committee that such a thing it could be done -the five nonprofits who benefited, including the Girl Scouts-the sponsors, who donated cash, all new fixtures and computers for the DFS boutique-the hundreds of Phila area women who will benefit from the 5000 items donated -the six women who will join me in my journey -my network who was proud to contribute and support me.
Do you know how I felt doing all of this? Accomplished and grateful. Honored I could be of service. Amazed that with a few drinks, a few phone calls, I could create connections strong enough to change the world. And so the circle completes. It's a fact now in my life and in my world that I'm on the thin path. I can't fire @drcharlies because a business associate introduced us and I'd be embarrassed at my poor behavior. But also because we’ve struck a business deal – a very public one – and success in business is very important to me. I owe it to us both to follow through. I can't not show up for the swap because hundreds depend on me for it to happen. I can't scream shut up at all the ppl I have asked to contribute to me in a way that helps my journey. I invited them in. And now that I've lost more than 30lbs, other people are asking me to help them by sharing my story and my resources. I can't fail them. The only choice I have is to give away my weight so that others can succeed.
I hope I have inspired you to bring a swap to your community. The kimptonhotels and Ikea are national partners who can support you In starting a swap for whatever cause moves you. There is aDIY kit at @swapparty or http://www.phillyswapparty.com I hope I have inspired you to request or offer a connection to me or anyone you meet here today. It is through relationships that we succeed in anything we do. I need you. This is the truth i had to learn to make being overweight matter. Now it's now longer all in my mind, I can't wait until that catches up and is no longer on my body. thank you for letting me share my story with you and for being part of my past present or future community.
140Talk: How I Gave Away My Weight So Others Could Succeed
How I gave away my weight
so that others could succeed