GETTING TO KNOW SISTERS & CHOOSING YOUR
SORORITY HOME DURING FORMAL RECRUITMENT
FROM: SORORITY WOMEN TO YOU!
After going through formal recruitment, I thanked myself later that I had a list of questions already pre
thought out if the conversation got boring and repetitive. It's important to ask questions that you’re
interested in, and it's nice to do a question that would spark the mind of a sorority sister, to have
something to remember you by.
• What was your favorite philanthropy event you participated in this year?
• Do you hold any officer positions?
• Do you attend the football games with sisters?
Ask specific questions about THEM: Yes, they are trying to get to know you better but recruitment is
every-woman-for-herself and you need to end up somewhere that you will be happy. Ask about their
favorite memory from their first year, how they would describe their sisterhood or why they decided to
pref that chapter.
Make it personal: the person who is matched with you has been specifically designated to speak with
you because the recruitment committee has read your profile and thinks you will have something good
to talk about or relate to- most likely the PNM won't have to bring up this specific commonality in
conversation but recognize the things you have in common with the girls (this will help them feel like
you would fit in and you will get an idea of who is the most like you)
At my university, each girl you talk to in a sorority will ask you questions and they will be the typical
"What do you like to do?" questions, but you can ask questions too! I asked stuff like, "I don't like to
party, will I be judged because I'd rather stay in than go out?" Then they get a better feel of who you
really are and if you share a specific value. But also, if you initiate the conversations, then you will learn
what you like and don't like about them which will help you find where you belong. You will know when
you belong somewhere because you will already feel an emotional attachment before receiving any bid
from any sorority. I cried! You'll know when you know!
Ask questions! It's a lot of pressure on the sisters of the house to constantly be asking questions, plus it
appears you aren't interested in the house. Even if it's a silly question, it helps us remember you and
helps you stand out! Don't choose a house based on what you're friends are thinking, everyone is unique
and you won't be happy if you chose a house based on someone else's wants/needs, because you
weren't looking for the same thing.
Ask questions. I was the one that asked most of the questions and controlled the conversation when I
went into each house. This shows interest in the sorority and sisters will definitely remember that (that's
how they remembered me by!) I basically asked what sisterhood events they do, what philanthropy
events goes on throughout the year, what typically happens in a semester, etc etc. That really allowed
me to get to know each individual sorority and what makes them different.
Go with your gut feeling and try to avoid letting your friends' or roommates' opinions influence you.
Some formal recruitments begin before school even starts so why should you let a roommate who you
just met influence the sisters that you are going to have for the rest of your life? If you feel comfortable
and truly feel like you can be yourself around a certain house, then they are the right pick for you.
Go with where you feel comfortable. I chose my sorority because I felt at home there and felt I could be
myself with these women.
Just because you think you may love a house, still go into recruitment with an open mind. You may find
that your dream house is not necessarily the one you thought it was going to be.
A question that gave me a lot of guidance was:
Why did you choose this sorority/fraternity?
Their answer really told me something about this chapter. If it was a very
generic, "they were nice" I didn't feel they had strong values for their
Ask questions. Ask about what the sorority member enjoys most about their sisterhood. Ask what they do for
fun during the week or how often they see each other and spend time together, in groups or as a whole. This
will give you a good insight as to how close their sisterhood is.
Look around the room a little. These could be your sisters at the end of the week, and you want to be able to
feel comfortable and not too intimidated.
Remember we are just as nervous as you, so relax and try to have real conversations. It's not an interview. We
want to be your friend.
Be yourself and let the conversations flow. If they're forced, it's probably not the place for you.
At my school, our PNM's will talk to multiple girls per round after the first one. It's a great way to get to know
sorority members and my chapter's different personalities. If the first girl you talk to is awkward, don't feel
discouraged and turned off to a chapter. Keep your mind open and remember that we are all real girls who are
in a sorority. We are not just sorority girls.
See how they act before recruitment at different events if your school does that. Also, keep an open
mind when going into different parties and meeting different girls. Always seem happy to talk to them
about their sorority. Choose the sorority that you feel like you connected to the girls the best.
Ask questions, be yourself and choose where you find yourself most comfortable.
Be open, honest, confident. You'll know in your gut where you truly want to be and don't follow friends
just because you're comfortable
Be yourself. They often say everyone else is taken, but its true. You're trying to find a place where you
belong and can see yourself hanging out with the girls for the next four years. For me, I was in-between
two houses but one I felt like I was faking to fit in at. I wasn't giving my honest opinion in conversations
and it wasn't as easy to just fit right in there. I knew that that wasn't something I wanted to do for four
years, so I went with where I felt most at home and comfortable.
You can also tell based on how girls switch in and out or talk to each other at recruitment how close
their bond is. Some houses, they barely knew who they were switching with and didn't have any
conversation. The houses I liked most, the girls were excited to see their fellow sisters and we were able
to have a nice three person conversation as they were rotating.
Meet as many people as you can! And relax. What is meant to be will be.
My college had deferred (spring) recruitment, so we had a little bit of time to get to know the sorority
women before we went through the process.
Know and love your recruitment counselor! Make a close relationship with them and they will help you
out a lot.
If your campus rules allow, have lunch with a few sisters from each sisterhood before you go through
formal recruitment. Hang out with them at parties. Say hello on the quad. Join clubs and offer to help
with special projects.
At the end of the day, we're all PEOPLE, so act as normal, respectful, friendly people, try to put aside the
nerves of being a rushee, and just have a conversation.
Everyone says this and it sounds really cliché, but you will know where your home is by the last night of
recruitment. I was really torn between two the entire week, but after the last night of recruitment, I knew
in my heart where I belonged.
Remember that the sisters are just as nervous/if not more nervous than you are!
It's hard to keep the conversation flowing with some girls, so try to be as personable as possible!
Everyone loves genuine girls!
Don't choose a sorority based on where your friends are going. It may not be the right fit for you. Make
sure to follow your heart and you won't regret your choice.
Trust your instincts! Instead of trying to remember what the women looked like or wore, reflect on how
the interaction made you FEEL.
My school has almost twenty different chapters and our ice waters round (Round 1) lasted two full days.
You talk to a lot of sorority women from different chapters and backgrounds and it can all get a little
overwhelming. There's definitely some anxiety for each house you enter but try to stay in tune to how
you FEEL on a comfort-level.
I found my sisterhood by paying attention to where I had the most comfortable conversations - I noticed
that when I conversed with the sisters in the house I ended up in that I didn't have the same weight of
stress that I had when trying to make conversation at other houses.
Really listen to what the girl who is rushing you says about her experience. See if you can picture yourself
in that house. Go with your gut when making selections and be sure not to rank according to the
Formal recruitment is where some sororities bring in their glitz and glamour to capture you attention.
Try to get past the beauty of decorations and listen to the member you are talking to. It's all about
To get to know the sisters, try to find a common interest. It can usually fall into the category of having
same music taste, being in the same major, and what interested you in joining a sorority. But of course
they would want to know about you so don't be afraid if you end up rambling.
I found my home in the first day. Actually, a little bit in the summer. I did my research on all the
sororities on my campus to get a little bit of background information. And for some reason, I fell in
love with [sorority] because I loved their philanthropy, their fundraisers, and the looks of sisterhood
without talking to any of the members yet! So during the first round of recruitment, they were my
second to last house to see, and I was beyond nervous and excited. It was like meeting my favorite
celebrities. Except they were wearing matching clothes and heels. My heart soared when they broke
out in a catchy sorority song in the tune of One Direction. That was a major plus. Then when I actually
talked to the members, it was very comfortable and easy going. We talked about pigging out on cheat
days to our favorite places, being the first to go to college, and the excitement of rush--note they
understand what you are going through. I found my home just by that, having a certain conversation
flow. Other houses were just as welcoming but you can tell when that one house has that je ne sais
quoi. It gives you that certain perspective when you leave that room with a small heartbreak because
you can see those girls as sisters.
Be open!! You will get asked lots of questions when visiting all of the different houses, and some
questions might repeat themselves, but still answer each question openly and honestly.
Be friendly and kind to everyone, and be *especially* friendly in the house that you feel the most
Go with who you feel most comfortable around. If you aren't yourself throughout recruitment you aren't
going to be yourself when you get a bid.
Don't ask questions that you could find the answer to on their website. Ask them personal questions like
why they joined the specific chapter and what their favorite parts are about being in said chapter. Find
something you both relate to or have in common and run with that.
Have real and meaningful conversations. Get past the "where are you from?” and "what's your major?"
Also, find out what is important to you. What are your values and beliefs? Talk to active sisters, do they
hold the values you do?