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How We Miss Each Other: The Gospel, Marriage Pitfalls, and Gender Differences


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Presentation about the God designed gender differences that cause problems in marriage. Practical suggestions from a Christian Counselor.

Published in: Self Improvement

How We Miss Each Other: The Gospel, Marriage Pitfalls, and Gender Differences

  1. 1. How We Miss Each Other The Gospel, Marriage Pitfalls, and Gender Differences October 22, 2014 m/watch?v=- 4EDhdAHrOg
  2. 2. How We Miss Each Other:  We come into marriage with unrealistic expectations based on:  Family of origin wounds  Hollywood standards  All my needs can be met by my spouse  My spouse won’t sin  Love conquers all OR we won’t struggle like other couples  I have the right to be happy  The Truth:  We are redeemed but still sinners  The marriage relationship teaches us about grace & loving another person “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:6-7 From Paul Tripp’s What Did You Expect
  3. 3. All We Need We Have in Christ  Colossians 3:12 says that we ARE holy and dearly loved! It is present tense. The love, respect, and acceptance we are each frequently looking for from our mate is fully met in Jesus.  “God’s power has given us everything we need to lead a godly life. All of that has come to us because we know the One who chose us. He chose us because of his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3
  4. 4. We are Free to Give  Because all we need, we in Christ, we are FREE from trying to get that from other people.  Paul tells the Colossian people what that looks like:  Mercy  Kindness  Humility  Gentleness  Patience  Putting up with each other  Forgiveness  Love  Thankfulness
  5. 5. God Made Men & Women Different! Wives are instructed throughout scripture (Col 3, Eph 5, 1 Pet 3) to RESPECT their husbands. This is because it is a deep soul need of men that women do not understand.  Men are instructed throughout scripture (Col 3, Eph 5, 1 Pet 3) to LOVE their wives. This is the deep soul need of women. From Emerson Eggerich’s Love and Respect
  6. 6. We are CRAZY Different  “When women feel unloved we react disrespectfully”  “When men feel disrespected they react unlovingly”  It is a vicious cycle  It causes good-willed people to miss each other. From Emerson Eggerich’s Love and Respect
  7. 7. So Now What?  Grace: assume your spouse has good-will and is not intentionally trying to disrespect or act unlovingly.  Recognize the crazy cycle and get off it. Consider if you have acted unloving or disrespectful.  “My response to my partner is my responsibility. They don’t cause my emotional reaction but reveal my sinful heart.”  “Imagine Jesus standing behind the shoulder of your partner. Love your spouse unto the Lord!”  “You are commanded to love or respect despite your partner’s response” (this is how we grow) From Emerson Eggerich’s Love and Respect
  8. 8. References and Places to Find More Information:  Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs  This Momentary Marriage by John Piper  What Did You Expect by Paul Tripp  The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller  How We Love by Mylan and Kay Yerkovich    
  9. 9. Aimee Thompson  Married 17 years to my high school sweet-heart and best friend.  Mom of two preteen/teen boys.  Previous stay-at-home mom for 13 years  Served in many teaching roles at Preston Ridge Baptist Church in Frisco, TX (Women’s Bible Study leader, Kindergarten Sunday School teacher, Preteen Bible School Director)  Education:  Bachelors of Science in Sociology from Texas A&M University  Masters in Counseling from Dallas Baptist University.  LPC-Intern under the Supervision of Steve Hunter, Ed.D., D.Min, LPC-S, NC  A few steps away from being a Certified Anger Management Specialist-I.  I am a passionate pursuer of help and hope for people in pain and distress.  Life is messy. Hope is real. A good listener is powerful. Your story matters! 