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Non violent communication and Agile: Individuals and Interactions over processes and tools

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A general introduction into non violent communication and with a lead in on how it relates to Agile.

This pack goes through the basics of NVC - the intent, the framework (observation, feeling, need, request), strategies, example questions and general ethos of NVC.

Content is taken from my foundation training course and Dr Rosenberg's book.

Content presented at the open space session at Agile Tour 2013 with the assistance of Shari Elle.

Published in: Business, Technology
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Non violent communication and Agile: Individuals and Interactions over processes and tools

  1. 1. Renee Troughton Flowers for my table over air for my lungs
  2. 2. Individuals and interactions…
  3. 3. “ What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart. “ Dr Marshall Rosenberg, Founder of NVC
  4. 4. What Is Non Violent Communication (NVC)?
  5. 5. What Is Non Violent Communication (NVC)?
  6. 6. Jackals If you eat all your dinner than you can get dessert I’m late because I got stuck in traffic He’s a good son
  7. 7. Giraffes A jackal is just a giraffe with a language problem
  8. 8. Observation Feeling Need Request
  9. 9. What is an observation ?
  10. 10. What is a feeling?
  11. 11. What is a feeling? Afraid Apprehensive Frightened Panicked Petrified Suspicious Terrified Wary Worried Annoyed Exasperated Frustrated Impatient Irritated Angry Furious Indignant Outraged Resentful Aversion Appalled Contempt Disgusted Hate Horrified Repulsed Confused Ambivalent Hesitant Lost Perplexed Puzzled Torn Disconnected Apathetic Bored Cold Detached Distracted Numb Uninterested Disquiet Agitated Alarmed Discombobulated Disturbed Rattled Shocked Surprised Troubled Turbulent Uncomfortable Uneasy Unnerved Unsettled Upset Embarrassed Ashamed Guilty Mortified Self-conscious Fatigue Depleted Exhausted Lethargic Sleepy weary Pain Agony Devastated Grief Heartbroken Hurt Lonely Miserable Remorseful Sad Depressed Despair Disappointed Discouraged Hopeless Unhappy Tense Anxious Cranky Distressed Edgy Irritable Nervous Overwhelmed Vulnerable Fragile Helpless Insecure Sensitive Shaky Yearning Jealous Wistful
  12. 12. What is a need? Autonomy Choice of goals Choice of plan Freedom Independence Integrity Presence Space Spontaneity Celebration Creation of life Dreams fulfilled Losses Integrity Authenticity Creativity Meaning Self-worth Interdependence Acceptance Affection Interdependence Appreciation Awareness Belonging Closeness Community Companionship Compassion Consideration Connection Cooperation Contribution Emotional safety Empathy Equality Honesty Inclusion Love Mutuality Reassurance Respect Support Trust Understanding Warmth Meaning Awareness Clarity Competence Consciousness Contribution Creativity Efficacy Effectiveness Growth Hope Learning To Matter Mourning Participation Purpose Self Expression Understanding Rest & Play Challenge Mastery Ease Enjoyment Fun Joy Humour Laughter Learning Relaxation Sponteneity Stimulation Safety & Health Physical safety Emotional safety Security Stability Predictability Support Spiritual Beauty Communion Harmony Inspiration Order Peace Nurture Air Food Exercise Nurturing Protection Rest Safety Sexual Shelter Touch Warmth Water
  13. 13. What is a request? “Would you be willing to…”
  14. 14. What is a request?
  15. 15. What is a request? “Our conflicts arise not because we have different needs but because we have different strategies for how to meet them.”
  16. 16. Expressing NVC
  17. 17. Receiving NVC
  18. 18. Want more? Creating empathetic connections, Connecting with our self, Appreciation/praise, protective force… and more Shari Elle fullyalive.com.au
  19. 19. Renee Troughton agileforest.com leanpub.comAgileForest renee@unbounddna.com @agilerenee theagile revolution.com unbounddna.com
  20. 20. Connecting with my REQUEST
  21. 21. Connecting with my NEED
  22. 22. Connecting with my FEELING
  23. 23. Connecting with my OBSERVATION
  24. 24. Listening to my JACKAL
  25. 25. EXPRESSING
  26. 26. SENSING
  27. 27. RECEIVING

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