Guided inquiry: process marking


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Guided inquiry: process marking

  1. 1. Year 11 Ancient History Preliminary Course 2011: Historical investigation.Process marks: 10 marks altogether.Name and Development of Notetaking grids/3 Reflection sheets/ Use Bibliography and Essay and comment, including Final mark:final enquiry question/2 of comment function footnotes/3 research process. Essay andquestion /2 process/ 35Hannah B: Hannah grappled with Sources: Used the logs well, shows I’m surprised there This is quite a good essay, marred 8+14 =Cleopatra: enquiry question Cleopatra movie, grappling with topic and aren’t more sources by a few expression errors, and 22/35 relating to Cleo’s Rehabilitating Cleo and many drafts of the essay. in your reference possibly also by your decision to portrayal in media Plutarch, Susan Walker , Not much use of the list, as you certainly only use these writers on Cleo, Schiff, and the primary comment function. looked at more. which you don’t evaluate in terms Final question: sources at British Reflection sheets show You’ve omitted of reliability and background, when Throughout history Museum. Movie her struggling with some bibliographic you clearly had researched others. there have been many Cleopatra as well. Mixed information overload, as details as well, It achieves what you set out to do portrayals of notetaking grids, very well as structuring the place published, in the first paragraph, but could Cleopatra’s life, but brief at times, movie one essay. publisher etc. have done with your own which portrayal of good. Plutarch one very Footnotes are conclusion on who Cleopatra was. Cleopatra is accurate? good. Schiff good. She 2 similarly sparse and 14 Or are none accurate? didn’t use them all in the omit bibliographic 2 essay. details. Some 2 footnoting errors. 2Lucy C: Looked at .Brennan, Herald Sun, Independent researcher Uses her deep Very strong conclusion to a very 10 +23 –Cannibalism Mayan/Aztec; Stone Macrae, in earlier grids, who organized herself research to cull well reasoned essay about a 33/35in the ancient age England and and began with Wikipedia well in the logs, and did down to a short and complex topic. You’ve usedworld: Germany, leading her Bahn, Bower, Cannibals not seem to need the very pertinent evidence very well to support your to consider of the Stone Age doco, interaction available via reference list. arguments. This is an essay of Mayans/Aztecs’ Boyes, Goldman, Turner comment function. Footnotes are which you should be proud, and is comparison? in final grid. Very Reflection sheets very outstanding. probably a result of your strong Final question: analytical. Has done thoughtful and used in a 3 writing and reasoning skills, your Did Ancient Civilisations excellent synthesized useful way for her deep research, and your fascination Practice Cannibalism. If notes. research process. 2 with your (grizzly!) topic. Very well So Why, and What 3 done! Evidence Is There To 23 Support This? Shows evidence of thoughtful narrowing of topic 2
  2. 2. Phoebe C: Phoebe seems well Womenintheancientworl Independent researcher Good reference list, This is a competent essay, which 9+19= 28/35Spartan organized. Her topic d, McDonald, Hibbison, who wrote very good essentially the same could have had a tighter structure,women: Role grew from Spartan legion14, BBC, Fantham – logs, and did not use sources as in your outlining the main points you makein society. women, to Spartan notetaking grids very well comment function much. notetaking grids. in the introductory paragraph. It is women and Athenian synthesized, and are Maybe does not need it, Good attempt at at times a little on the narrative*** also women to come to final mostly the same sources and prefers verbal footnoting. side, though you make excellentModern enquiry question: as used in reference list. interaction. Reflection 2 use of primary sources. ‘Spartan women in 5th 3 sheets very well used, to 19/25 Century BC had far develop and fine tune her greater freedom than question and structure their Athenian the essay. 2 counterparts’. To what extent is this an accurate statement. 2Celeste de C: Measured, rational Notetaking grids Very competent, Bibliography is There was a need for a tighter 9+19= 29/35Hanging approach to organized, pertinent, organized process with pertinent and structure to this essay. I think youGardens of development of enquiry perhaps not synthesized no fuss approach well consists of material needed an introduction thatBabylon question, dictated by enough, perhaps not logged and described. in your notetaking directed your essay more tightly, as growth in information. enough information to Reflection sheets very grids. Footnotes it was, the intro was a page long, Final question: account for the Ongoing clear and reflect the good. and left the reader searching for Account for the historical significance of development of her 3 ensuing structure. Additionally you ongoing historical the gardens, and are the thought and research needed to proof read your writing significance of the myth same sources as appear very clearly. 2 for expression errors, and for of the Hanging Gardens in reference list. keeping to the point, and for of Babylon Competent switch mid picking up repetitive material and stream to Noodlebib. removing it. A difficult topic, and 2 an excellent research process, let 2 down a little in the end by roundabout expression. Your ancient sources needed some background and information about reliability. 19Kelsey E: Early focus on reliability Lanciani, Pomeroy, Baker, Reasonably thoughtful Well chosen This is an excellent essay which 9+20 =Vestal Virgins of information around Ramsey, Parker,Staples. use of the logs and reference list, with gives a reasoned explanation of 29/35 VVs’ Early question: Very well organized and comment function. Bit only what she Vestals as sign, stranger and Why were the vestals synthesized notetaking. 2 brief. Reflection sheets needed for her scapegoat. It is well supported by virgins? And what affect very honest and show her argument. your thorough research. The only did their virginity have grappling with the Accurately thing I’d criticize is that the on the ability for them reliability of information presented, same question allowed more of a to be sacrificed? in this topic area. sources as her narrative than a debate. But well Final question: Who Reflection on learning notes. Well done. 20. were the Vestal Virgins was very honest and constructed
  3. 3. and what role did they detailed. 2 footnotes. play in the Ancient 3 Roman society? 2Caitlin F: Question development Web Greece, wikpedia. Good use of comment Reference list This is a very well written essay, 19 + 7 =Greek myths led her to the myth of Bullfinch, Grade saver. function for feedback and contains much that Caitlin, which gives a very good 26/35and legends – Theseus and the Not very synthesized. brief but useful logs. she made notes on, picture of the ways in whichTheseus and Minotaur. Lots of time wasted at Useful reflection sheets but some new Suzanne Collins has employed thethe Minotaur. Final question: To what beginning with too big a where she documents her sources. Not v Theseus and the Minotaur myth in extent has author topic. The Hunger games, frustrations and academic. The Hunger Games. You’ve used Suzanne Collins Margolis, Myths and achievements in Good job on your research well, and made a reflected the well- Legends, Oliver. Level of narrowing down such a footnotes. good job of your footnotes. My known Greek myth synthesis of notes huge topic. Did she in the only reservations lie with the Theseus and the improved towards the end write an English 2 question really, and whether it Minotaur in her novel end when she knew what essay? allowed you to identify an area of The Hunger Games? her question was, but still 2 debate, as well as whether this Breadth of the area of not v deep. 2 essay would be a better English inquiry was a problem essay than an Ancient History one. for Caitlin, though she 19 managed to narrow it down to a very specific question. But was it Ancient History? 1Sophie H: Final question: Assess Stanley and Sheng; Thoughtful and reflective Reference list This is an excellent essay, Sophie. 10 +24 =Atlantis – the likelihood of the Stewart, Mansfield, researcher, very fulsome accurately You have a scientific, analytical 34/35Thera/Crete Ancient Minoan Govan, Wheeler, Krystek, about her process. presented, and had approach to history, and put up Civilization, based on Kemp, Wilson – all very Reflection sheets show most of the sources such an excellent case for Atlantis the islands of Crete and synthesized. Excellent her grappling very deeply in her notetaking being Thira. Your extensive Thira, as the source of notes. 3 with the topic and grids plus a few research, and long sustained Plato’s story of Atlantis. moving early to Plato as more. Lot of interest in this topic has led you to Showed intense original source. 2 Clickview. Excellent write a sound piece of historical interest and footnotes, including research, which could have been commitment from the explanatory ones – edited further, as it was over the beginning in developing A couple of word limit by 400 words. her question. 2 footnoting omissions. 24 3
  4. 4. Sally H: Growth of enquiry Has not detailed which Has kept a reasonable log Footnotes good – This essay is well structured, well- 7+16 =Spartacus – question clear from Questia sources she uses of her process, does not an ibid error and an written, as was your Modern 23/35*** general topic of in notetaking grids. use comment function. unnecessary essay, with only a few omissions of Spartacus to portrayals Notes better than for Reflection sheets a bit common citations. I think you needed to over time, with final Modern, but still pretty brief, but quite useful to knowledge citation. define the terms of the question. question being: brief to start off with. her. Bibliography very You’ve contained your argument Examine the Portrayal Livius, Wesscholar, 1 good, most of very well, relating it to a of Spartacus as a Hoffman. Better in final which come from manageable number of ancient and courageous grid. her notes. modern portrayals, in an ordered revolutionist and a 2 fashion. This time your notetaking fighter for social justice. 2 grids are better, but I still think that 2 they are not the ideal way for you to take notes. Take a look at Easybib. It’s easier than Noodlebib, and may be just what you need. Essay: 16.Olivia-Jane H: Assess the significance Wikipedia, Sewell Ward, Appeared to be a very Reference list uses Good conclusion. While this essay 7+19 =Lost library of of the Pharos text book, newsnational, competent and same sources, not presents your arguments well, if a 26/35Alexandria? Lighthouse and the, independent researcher, scholarly enough. little slowly, it suffers from the Great Library of, aware of process and Some footnoting level of the sources you used. They Alexandria in www.fortunecity. Not gaps. Some use of errors, and they are were all open internet sources, and establishing Alexandria very scholarly. comment function, but a little on the scarce I believe you could have used more as a cultural centre of Notetaking shows effort does not appear to need side to support an scholarly ones, including books and the Ancient World. at synthesizing. it. Reflection sheets show argument. 2 Questia and State Library articles. her grappling with You took quite a while to get into I think she put in the 2 information overload, the significance of the lighthouse two buildings because gradually narrowing her and library, but did so competently she hadn’t done focus from Alexandria to later in the essay. Your essay at enough research to the lost library. Reflection times reads more as a narrative support just one of sheets are very useful to than an argument, and I think this them. her. 2 goes back to your sources again. 1 There are some footnoting errors. 19Amelia H: Amelia stuck with Same sources in Use of comment function Excellent use of Strong conclusion to a very 10 +20 = 30Masada Masada right from the Reference list: Excellent and daily logs show clear footnotes, with interesting essay. You’ve written a beginning, and research, useful notes, all growth of focus towards some errors over well argued essay which uses your narrowed it to Josephus used in reference list and enquiry question. ibid and op cit. rigorous research very well, and and Yadin. Had essay. Sources not Reflection sheets were Bibliography very appears to have arrived at the nub difficulties with evaluated. useful to her process. pertinent. of the debate on Masada. You assessing reliability of 2 2 3 might have evaluated the writers information, but you used for reliability and context. persevered through this Congratulations on your very
  5. 5. to arrive at an excellent committed research process and a enquiry question. sound essay. 18 Assess the archaeological and written evidence in relation to Masada. *** 2Rose J: To what extent was the; Competent researcher, Only two sources This is a well argued essay, which is 7+ 18=25Ancient Carthaginian siege of, who logged her process on her reference quite a bit under the word count.Spain/Punic Saguntum responsible None well, did not do much list, reflecting her However, you structure it very well,wars? for the outbreak of the of these useful to her in with the comment difficulties with the use the minimal sources you haveSiege of Second Punic War? the end, because her function. Reflection too broad question. very well, and have presented aSaguntum She began too broadly topic went off in another sheets mirror the She uses them to very balanced argument about with a wish to explore direction. Very general difficulties of starting too very good effect, your topic of the Siege of Ancient Spain because notes, not enough of broadly, and therefore however. Footnotes Saguntum. 18 she was going there! them. In final grid, uses losing research time. But very good, though This led to difficulties in Bradley, which is what she reflects very honestly scarce. 2 early information she needed. This is a very on her process. 2 gathering and question good grid. making. 2 www.historyofwar Vessey, These ones which looked good, she didn’t use. 2Emma K: How Sheba is portrayed, an Logs show intense Reference list has This is a sudden and not very 6 +17=Queen of in Koran, Bible and unnamed source, Negast engagement with the many errors in it. illuminating ending. The essay 23/35Sheba Jewish sources. Final and The Queen of Sheba research, but not much in But it is extensive, probably suffers from trying to question is: Who was (movie) She lists some the way of interaction contains some of answer too many questions. I think the Queen of Sheba? books, but takes no notes using the comment those in her you’ve pretty much left the third How has she been on them. Also Solomon function. Reflection notetaking grids. one unanswered, why has she been represented and Sheba film. sheets show her Footnotes ok. portrayed in the ways she was? throughout history and Books by Cole, Wadud, grappling with Quotes too long. 1 The other two are answered why has she been Williams, information underload in satisfactorily. 17 represented in these Kitchen.jbq.jewishbible.or some cases. 2 ways? Essay suffered g from having so much to 2 answer. 1
  6. 6. Yolana K: Question troubles: Too Lendering, Library of Record of progress using Long reference list This is a very good essay, in which 8 + 22 =Alexander the much info. Can’t decide Hellas, Livius, McCarty, the comment function is with repeated you do what you set out to do: 30/35Great * on direction. Is, very informative and entries for same Account for the influences and Alexander great?, Holt. All reflective. Reflection source. Would motivations that led Alexander to Account for the brief. Reference list on sheets reflected her have been better create the Macedonian empire. I greatness of Alexander/ essay included many difficulty with the with fewer sources, think your first paragraph might What influences shaped more sources than those overwhelming amount of as you describe the have been stronger, and more him? How successful in the notetaking grids, information available on experience in your directive of your argument, and was he in spreading which look as if they were Alexander the Great - reflection sheets of that some later sections needed Greek Culture? of not much use to her. one missing (2) extreme some editing to stick to your Struggled with question 2 information arguments. Your footnotes are development. 2 overload. Excellent FANTASTIC! Well done. . 22 Final question: footnotes. Needs to Investigate Alexander find a way of the Great’s influences notetaking that is and motives that led to useful to her, as the the creation of the notetaking grids Macedonian Empire were clearly not 2 very useful, and she drowned in information anyway. Advice for future: Choose a topic with less written about it? 2Emma L: Began with Vespasian. Castleden,Michailidou, Stressed, highly Reference list very This is a very competent essay 9 + 22 =*** Emma has stalled on Burrows, Romer, BBC, competent and pertinent to essay, which might have benefited from 31/35 this because she is McNeal, Waldman, EB, idiosyncratic researcher. and same sources further editing, as there are places finding it difficult to Macgillivrary. Very Does not know how good as in notetaking where you repeat yourself a bit, assess which thorough notes on she is. Is very critical of document. Some e.g. about encyclopedias still taking archaeologist was Noodlebib. Same sources her own research errors in citation of Evans’ work as gospel. But you’ve correct. How true were appear in essay. process, which appears to common persuaded me that Evans did not Evan’s ideas to the work well in the end! knowledge do much of a job on Knossos. I actual culture of the 3 Interesting and interested examples, and wonder if you could have found Minoans? reflection sheets. some confusion some positives about his work, Assess the usefulness of Not much use of over op.cit. which was done after all when Arthur Evans’s comment function, but 2 modern archaeological methods “reconstruction” of the very vocal about her own were unheard of. But you’ve court-complex at needs during the process. written a mature essay on a fairly Knossos. Final question: 2 vexed area. 22 Assess the usefulness of
  7. 7. the work of Arthur Evans to our understanding of the Minoan civilisation. Clear grappling with development of enquiry question. 2/2Isabella M: Validity of the Hope, Brumbaugh, Levy, Very competent Accurately This is a very well constructed and 10 + 19 =Atlantis – Thera/Minoan culture Lost Worlds, researcher, self aware in presented supported essay. You write very 29/35Plato and explanation of Atlantis, logs. Does not use reference list, well, in a reasoned and direct way,legend. as portrayed in Plato. well comment function much. containing the same with a few expression errors that Final question: Despite synthesized, using Question: Do these sources as her re-reading would have picked up. our modern-day Noodlbib. She’s clearly students prefer to talk notes. Footnotes Well done. Your essay shows your fascination with this got to grips with some rather than use wiki for very well done. thorough research process. You legend, it seems clear scholarly writers in this interaction? Shows Check for common were a bit below the word count that the Atlantis Plato topic. herself a reflective knowledge citation. Background on sources? Are they described never 3 researcher in her 3 reliable? 19 existed. Assess the reflection sheets. 2 various concepts/ constructions of the Atlantis story. 2Sophie Mc: Sophie is doing Henry’s www.elizabethean- Does not show evidence Quite a good This essay answers your question 5 + 14 =Henry V111 decision to separate, Wikipedia, of much engagement reference list. You satisfactorily, but just does not 19/35and lord from the Pope, Cheshire, Randell Later with the topic in the logs clearly got more grapple with the historians whochancellors’ although up till now notetaking grid with the or in using the comment involved once you’d write about this matter. Thoughinfluences or was other question. two books in it is better. function. Reflection chosen your you’ve a couple of books on yourHenry’s Final question: First very brief and not sheets are similarly not question. You need reference list, you’ve not useddecision to Examine the motives good sources. She had very engaged. 1 to understand the them in the essay, which, while it isseparate and reasoning behind the books in the common reasonably structured, narratesfrom the King Henry’s decision to reference list, but did not knowledge rather than argues its case. 14.pope separate from the use them. Essay suffered exception in Catholic Church. from superficiality. footnoting. She did not show much 1 Anything that is engagement or interest widely known does during her research not have to have a process. 1 citation. She does not use citations to advance an argument, using them instead to
  8. 8. narrate well known facts. 2Emily M: Weiednbach, Instone, Excellent use of logs and Good reference list, Well concluded. This is a well 8 + 16 =Comparison Final question: “Todays NSW amateur boxing comment function to sort matching what structured and argued essay that 24/35of ancient Olympic Games are assoc, compare info base, out her question. you’ve taken notes uses your research efficiently. Iand modern based on what took Olympic Museum, coupe Reflection sheets on mostly. You’ve think it’s a better essay than yourOlympics place at Olympia, in and Scanlan;, improved into a useful made a very good modern one, in that it’s used better*** Greece, nearly three Konstam;; tool for her by RS3. attempt at sources, and probably because you millennia ago”-Dr Crowther, IOC, Potted 2 footnoting, while didn’t change topic mid stream as Stephan Instone history,, some of them could you did in Modern. Your sources To what extent is this National Sport have been left out still could have been more statement true? Information Centre because they are scholarly, but it’s perhaps true that Emily worked well These were all used in her common the ones you used are the most towards her enquiry reference list. The notes knowledge, i.e. appropriate ones for this topic, question, after some were not very detailed, likely to appear in which is not pure Ancient History. hitches with finding but got better towards pretty much any Well done. 16 information about the end. source about the modern Olympics. 2 topic. 2 2Kate O’M: Moved from initial Collingridge, BBC Youtube Competent and reflective Excellent This is a very good essay. Both the 7 + 21 =Boudicca * interest to video, website Nymag. – researcher, using logs and bibliography. Very introduction and the conclusion 28/35*** representations over all very brief notes. Good comment function well. good footnotes, could have been expanded to make time, to: Is Boudicca’s notetaking grid on Excellent use of reflection only one error. 3 reference to all of the major points story an exaggeration None of sheets to sort out her you then make in the essay. But it or merely a fabrication these sources are used in thinking. Is a thoughtful is very reasoned, well written and of eventsCan we know her essay, so think she researcher. makes excellent use of sources, the truth about has another way of taking perhaps a little more on the Boudicca? notes. 2 secondary sources? Final question in essay: 21 Who was Boudicca? Transparent process of 0 question development. 2Romy P: Romy was going to go Oracle thinkquest, Good, reflective, Short reference list Conclusion very general. This is an 5 + 14 =Antony and with the take up of, E.E. Rice: not organizing use of both with some essay that contains quite a few 19/35Cleopatra Antony and Cleopatra, very detailed, best source the logs and the formatting errors, expression errors, and may have which is huge. We will is Rice. 1 comment function. footnotes scarce, suffered from its question. You’ve advise her to go with Reflection sheets show with some errors. recorded some varying
  9. 9. something like, The her grappling with her Same sources as in interpretations of the A & C story, story of A & C: a simple topic, being flooded with your notetaking as you set out to do, and in most love story? Or politically information but coming grids. Two sources cases, brought a critical light on the motivated. Maybe to a reasonable end, are good, but she sources you chose. My problem focus on effects of their where focus is on the puts them with it is that it is so source – liaison. relationship being alongside some not driven, rather than argument- Final question: Assess romantic or political. 2 very good ones, e.g. driven, so that it ends up being a the different Thinkquest. summary of some interpretations perspectives of the 1 of A& C. I think you needed to use relationship between historical sources. Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Unclear argument, 14 Question ended up being not very historical. 1Sophia P: Is the legacy of Norse Henkin: Seems Reflective researcher in Reference list very This essay needed some clearer 5 + 15 = 20Ragnorak – Mythology all bloody unsynthesised. Fasulo use of log. Records late brief. Footnotes definition of argument in the firstNorse and violent? Are there also unsynthesised. Both change in direction of technically fine. Just paragraph and a tighter drawingmythology peaceful claims to on norse mythology. question. No use of don’t add much to together of your three main areas –How did the fame? Sophia found These were used in the comment function. the arguments, and Religion and beliefs; thecreation story the various countries in essay, and two more. some come under environment in which they livedand ideals of Norse mythology Grabianowski and Ritchie 1 heading of common and the daily lives of these peoplean imminent confusing, and came to – gives impression of knowledge i.e. facts – in the conclusion. The essay‘ragnarok’ put them all under one more research needed. that could seems in some parts narrative,impact on the heading: Scandinavia, reasonably be rather than argumentative, and itlives of the which made her essay 1 expected in any seems that you might have donepeople. RS2 general and narrative history of Norse more research to get a fuller rather than analytical. people. picture of the nature of theseWere the 1 people 15Ancient 2 5/10 for process.Northern Unsure of argumentGermanic Abrupt conclusiontribes Insufficient depthinfluenced in No use of historical perspectives.a peaceful orviolent wayby theirreligion? RS3Finalquestion:Was the
  10. 10. culture of theancientScandinaviantribes of apeaceful orviolentnature?Jess P: Jess is getting to Michael Wood, Made excellent use of the Reference list and Jess, this is not a very well 6 + 13 =Arthurian accounting for the comment function and footnotes fine. 2 structured essay, largely because 19/35legends lasting appeal of the Notetaking grids very used it specially to seek you didn’t set out in the firstWhat is the Arthurian legends. I brief indeed, and many and respond to feedback paragraph what you were going toLasting think she has enough unable to be opened. from T and TL. Difficulties argue about the lasting appeal ofappeal of the information. Sources appear in with opening reflection King Arthur. You slip into narrativeLegend of Had trouble with reference list, but they sheets. 2 about the story with which you areKing Arthur? developing question as are very brief notes. 1 quite rightly fascinated, andFinal area is so huge and without the structure of anquestion: mythical. Probably argument, the essay meanders aWhy has the could have done with little. It is also well below the wordlegend of guidance earlier. She limit. Your footnotes and referenceKing Arthur had trouble answering list are well presented. 13/25had an the question as wantedongoing to focus on the story,appeal? telling a narrative, essentially. 1Phillippa S: Still struggling with all, Made good use of the log Reference list well I’m not sure you’ve persuaded me 9 + 15 =Atlantis the theories. Wants to Donnelly, Muck, entries, and not much of presented, that Plato’s account was accurate. 24/35 focus on Plato and the – Reasonably the comment function. contained more This essay has some expression Minoan theory. Her well synthesised. Sources Maybe does not need it. than her notetaking errors and roundabout ways of notetaking grids not in reference list a little Reflection sheets well grids. Footnotes making points. But it does use your there. How useful is different, but on the used. excellent. sources to show Plato as the source Plato to understanding whole not very well 2 2 of the Atlantis legend, whether or the Atlantis theory? chosen to prove her not it was an historical fact in his Final question: To what question. 2 writing. Your reference list and extent is Plato’s footnotes are good. Not critical of account of Atlantis an the sources, no page references for accurate one? Donnelly. 15 2
  11. 11. Ashleigh B-W Final question: Assess Eyewitness to history, Comment function and Well presented This is a very convincing conclusion 10 + 24 =Battle of the immediate impact Baldwin, Bury, Osborne, daily logs shows close reference list to the best essay I’ve read yet from 34/35Marathon of the Battle of Plutarch, Ehrenberg, engagement with topic substantially the this group! Very well done. ItWorked in Marathon and its Herodotus, Califf, Creasy, and growing interest. same as the sources presents a complex argumenthols. lasting significance to Lenardon. Very Reflection sheets show in your notetaking without confusion, accounts for history. Ashleigh thoughtful, critical notes, strong engagement with grids, which both the short and long term worked very hard to which were culled down her topic and struggle to demonstrated effects of the Battle of Marathon in define her question. 2 to the ones that best narrow it. 2 critical synthesis of very convincing fashion. There supported her what you were could perhaps have been more arguments. reading. Excellent explanation about why the Battle footnotes. 3 allowed for the rise of the western 3 world. This essay shows your diligent process and deep research into what is not an easy area, its greatest strength being the measured way in which you write. 24.Emily W: Explain the importance She has a variety of Brief use of the comment Reference list ok, This is an essay that achieves what 5 + 13 = 18Ancient of religion in the sources, e.g. Instone, and logging functions. footnotes were it set out to do, show that theOlympic Ancient Olympic Games Cartledge, Stack, Leuven, Not particularly useful for mostly of common Ancient Olympics were more aboutGames:Needs Tufts Uni – she’s copied her or us. Reflection knowledge religion than sport, without anymore time to Final question was: and pasted notes from all really brief as well. 1 examples. 2 real depth of analysis. It issolidify. Examine the extent to of them into one, so that reasonably structured, but tends toShe is looking which the Ancient you can’t tell where the become a bit repetitive. It’s a bitat the Olympic Games was info comes from. Or under the word count, and thisbalance of more focused on notes might be from only may be accounted for by the factreligion and religion than sport one. 1 that your research (if that is thesport in the Question ok, just didn’t same as what’s in your notetakingAncient allow for any real grid) was a bit on the short side.Olypmics. debate. 1 13.Emma W: Begam with Scythians,, Brief but pertinent use of After all your Conclusion is a bit on the weak 8 + 18 =Scythians and the Ice Maiden. daily logs, not much in research, you’ve side. This is a very good essay, 26/35 Found she had so much, way of interaction on used fairly few which needed quite a bit of editing. information she had to Edwards, Atlas of world comment function. sources. But they You certainly answer your question leave out the Ice history, Emma’s reflection sheets are clearly the most about daily life and culture of the Maiden. Final question: are very focused and relevant. Rawlinson Scythians, as well as writing a very Our understanding of , , show her very interested has no notetaking good section on the archaeological different tribes and Daily telegraph, All a bit in her topic, and having grid. Footnotes are evidence. I wanted to know how cities is based on what unscholarly. But detailed to swim through deep very good. 2 you gleaned all this information is left behind. What can notes. One good source, water. 2 about the Scythians’ way of life, sources tell us about The Scythian scourge, when Herodotus was the only the lives of the Scythian Blair. Also source, and he was unreliable. I
  12. 12. people? Refer to ‘The Notes very synthesized, think you lost sight of that in yourHistories’ by Herodotus however. writing. 18and the analysis of the 2body of the Ice Maidenof Siberia. 2