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  • 1. Language, style and accuracy:help and advice from a language editor - エディターからの英語論文に関するアドバイス - Kitami Institute of Technology Warren Raye, PhD Senior Life Sciences Editor Edanz Group Japan July 5, 2011
  • 2. A little about me… 自己紹介Author Lecturer, researcher, teacher Senior Life Sciences Editor Edanz Group Japan | 2
  • 3. A little more about me… 自己紹介  Research: virology, arthritis, stem cells  Fields: Virology, Microbiology, Molecular Biology, Immunology, Stem Cell Biology, Genomics, Proteomics Edanz Group Japan | 3
  • 4. Presentation プレゼンテーション Section One: Clarity 明瞭性 Section Two: Accuracy 正確性 Section Three: Language 言語 Section Four: Avoiding mistakes 間違いを防ぐ Section Five: Respecting reviewers and editors 査読者と編集者への配慮 Edanz Group Japan | 4
  • 5. Why publish? To exchange ideas globally 出版するのは世界規模で意見交換するため …and the science is often necessarily complex Therefore, language clarity is important 明瞭に書くことが重要 Edanz Group Japan | 5
  • 6. Why publish in English? なぜ英語で出版するのか? The international language of science Other scientists WANT to hear from you! Allows you to become an effective science communicator Number of publications is linked to funding success Your obligation/duty as a scientist! Edanz Group Japan | 6
  • 7. Japanese scientific writing style 日本語科学論文スタイル Passive voice 受動態 Cause/reason comes first 原因・理由が最初 Followed by the conclusion 結論が後に続く Ki-sho-ten-ketsu 起承転結 Edanz Group Japan | 7
  • 8. English scientific writing style 英語科学論文スタイル Active voice 能動態 The conclusion is stated first 結論を最初に記述 Reasoning or explanation comes after the conclusion 理由や説明が結論の後に来る Beginning  middle  end Edanz Group Japan | 8
  • 9. Tell them three times 3回伝える You are telling a story Introduction  body  conclusion MUST be easy to read AND understand Introduction  “tell them what you are going to tell them,” Body  “tell them,” Conclusion  “tell them again what you told them”. Edanz Group Japan | 9
  • 10. Peer Review What do reviewers look for? 査読者が求めているものIs the manuscript sufficiently novel?Is the manuscript of broad enough interest? Novelty Aims and Scope Significance Impact Factor Edanz Group Japan | 10
  • 11. Reviewers About the manuscript … 査読者が論文に求めるものAre the rationale and objectives defined?Is enough background given to understand the rationale?Could a capable researcher reproduce the experiments?Are the results clearly explained and in the best format?Are the findings described in context?Are the limitations discussed?Are the conclusions supported?Is the literature cited appropriate?Are there contradictions within the manuscript? Edanz Group Japan | 11
  • 12. Peer Review Reasons for rejection リジェクトの理由 Failure to state a hypothesis Ambiguous descriptions Difficult to read and understand Not answering the hypothesis Contradictions within the manuscript Superficial or rambling discussion Inconsistent use of terms Conclusion that is not supported by the data Edanz Group Japan | 12
  • 13. Which voice? Active vs passive 能動態か受動態か Use the active voice unless your target journal states otherwise Construct sentences where the subject “acts” or does something  We collected blood samples from 256 patients.  We aspirated the supernatant from the centrifuge tubes. Sentences written in the active voice are:  SIMPLE, DIRECT, CLEAR, EASY TO READ Edanz Group Japan | 13
  • 14. Topic sentences Easier to read トピックセンテンスIndicates to the reader the main ideaof a paragraphAlso provides the writer with a focusIt should be the first sentence of aparagraphThen discuss/explain the topicSummarize the paragraph with aconcluding sentenceBeginning  middle  end Edanz Group Japan | 14
  • 15. Topic sentences Example トピックセンテンスIN HIS STUDIES OF THE CONDITIONED REFLEX,PAVLOV WORKED ALMOST ENTIRELY WITH DOGSAND WITH THE SALIVARY REFLEX. Implicit in all of hiswork is the notion that everything the dog learns frompuppyhood on is a result of the association of certainevents (which happen to occur at the same time) with thebiologically adequate stimulus to some native responsesuch as withdrawing, struggling, eating, sex behavior, or thelike. What the dog can learn…Henry Garrett, “Great Experiments in Psychology” Edanz Group Japan | 15
  • 16. Simple is best 簡潔に書くことが大事Simple language works bestMakes YOUR science morerelevantMinimizes confusion – maximizesunderstandingScience is often complex, using simplelanguage will help more people understandyour work! Edanz Group Japan | 16
  • 17. Sentence length Keep it short & simple 1文は短く簡潔に We examined numerous peer-reviewed journals Easy to read articles had an average sentence length of around 17 words Sentences that are 15 to 20 words long are ideal Avoid long sentences, circular sentences, redundancies and repetition One sentence: one idea 1文には1つのアイデア Edanz Group Japan | 17
  • 18. Simple words Examples 簡潔な単語 Prefer Avoid more additional enough adequate clear apparent try attempt show demonstrate try endeavor very exceedingly More examples are in the Appendix Edanz Group Japan | 18
  • 19. Unnecessary words Write simply 簡潔に書く In order to…In order to determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta ofApoE −/− mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied….To determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta of ApoE −/−mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied…. Edanz Group Japan | 19
  • 20. Unnecessary words 不用な表現 In order to…Structured AbstractObjective: To determine the fractalkine expression in the aortaof ApoE −/− mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin interventionon fractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied…. Edanz Group Japan | 20
  • 21. The ‘write’ order 執筆の順序For maximum clarity and consistency, write yourmanuscript in this order: Methods Write during the research Results Introduction Write after selecting your target Discussion journal and analyzing results Abstract Title Write last Edanz Group Japan | 21
  • 22. Abstract Summarizes your work アブストラクトに研究内容を要約 Must be able to ‘stand alone’ Give an accurate summary of your research and conclusions reached Brief Summarize the results State the principal conclusionsALWAYS consult the Guide for Authors for specific requirements Edanz Group Japan | 22
  • 23. Introduction Why? 緒言に研究課題を記述 What question (problem) was studied? The answer to this question is contained within your Introduction Beginning  Middle  End Edanz Group Japan | 23
  • 24. Introduction Beginning 緒言 -冒頭 - Provide background information to put your work into context DO NOT write a comprehensive literature review of the field DO cite reviews that readers can refer to if they want more information Edanz Group Japan | 24
  • 25. Introduction Middle 緒言 - 中段- What is the rationale/reason for your study? Explain how you addressed the problem (1–2 sentences) DO NOT state results from your study Edanz Group Japan | 25
  • 26. Introduction End 緒言 - 結び - Clearly state the aims of your study State the methods you will use to carry out your aims Edanz Group Japan | 26
  • 27. Methods How did you carry out your work? 方法 - どのように研究を行ったか - Clear subheadings Describe methods in the past tense New methods must be described in sufficient detail for a capable researcher to reproduce the experiment Established methods can be referenced Describe statistical tests used Edanz Group Japan | 27
  • 28. Results What did you find? 結果 - 発見したもの - Use subheadings Use past tense to describe results BUT refer to figures and tables in the present tense Present the facts, DO NOT discuss your results DO NOT duplicate data among figures, tables and text Include results of statistical analyses in the text Edanz Group Japan | 28
  • 29. Discussion So what? 発見内容が意味するもの What do these findings mean? The answer to this question is in the Discussion Beginning  Middle  End Edanz Group Japan | 29
  • 30. Discussion Beginning 考察 - 冒頭 -Answer the research questionALWAYS provide the major/main result firstGive your conclusions, based on the results Edanz Group Japan | 30
  • 31. Discussion Middle 考察 - 中段 -Interpret the resultsCompare your results with those from other studies Same or different? Possible reasons why?Briefly describe limitations If you don’t, the reviewers will! Edanz Group Japan | 31
  • 32. Discussion End 考察 - 結び -State your conclusions again In summary … In conclusion …Mention possible applications, implications and speculation, if appropriateSuggest future work, if necessary Edanz Group Japan | 32
  • 33. Section Two Accuracy 正確性 Consistency Comparisons Respectively Namely, such as Edanz Group Japan | 33
  • 34. Consistency 一貫性Be consistent with terms, abbreviations andspelling throughout your manuscriptInconsistencies can be used a reason for rejectionUse the ‘Find (and replace)’ function in Word Edanz Group Japan | 34
  • 35. Comparisons 比較Frequently made in the Results sectionCompare “like” with “like”Use with, not toThe material from the river was compared with the mountain.The material from the river was compared with that from themountain. Edanz Group Japan | 35
  • 36. Comparisons Example 比較の例The tumor removed from the pancreas was compared withthe liver.The tumor removed from the pancreas was compared withthat removed from the liver. Edanz Group Japan | 36
  • 37. Comparisons 比較Expression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with non-smokersExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with p53levels in non-smokersExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared withthose in non-smokers Edanz Group Japan | 37
  • 38. Comparisons 比較Relative terms, such as more, higher and greater, require a reference for comparisonUse “than” or “compared with”Reactions with the new cycler were faster. Faster than what?Reactions with the new cycler were faster than those with the oldcycler. 38 Edanz Group | 38
  • 39. Comparisons Between or among “Between”と“ among”Use between for comparisons of two groups…the only difference between the original molecule and the newmolecule is... Use among for comparisons of more than two groups..significant differences were observed in the H values among bio-,fully- and semi-synthetic molecules Edanz Group | 39
  • 40. Respectively “Respectively”は必要時のみ使用する‘Respectively’ is often misused by non-nativeEnglish speakers. Use ‘respectively’ only if yoursentence would be unclear without it.Use to refer to two corresponding lists, butnot more Edanz Group Japan | 40
  • 41. Respectively “Respectively”の良い例、悪い例 The two values were 143.2 and 21.6, respectively. The two values were 143.2 and 21.6. The two tubes were labeled B and S, respectively. The tubes containing blood and saline were labeled B and S, respectively. 41 Edanz Group Japan | 41
  • 42. Respectively Example “Respectively”の例Oxygen detector flow Nitrogen detector flow Hydrogen detector flow85 mL/min 7 mL/min 4 mL/minThe oxygen detector flow was set at 85 mL/min; thenitrogen detector flow was set at 7 mL/min; and, thehydrogen detector flow was set at 4 mL/min. 28 wordsOxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen detector flows were setat 85, 7 and 4 mL/min, respectively. 15 words Edanz Group Japan | 42
  • 43. Language Such as or namely “Such as”と“namely“such as: to give examples….there were other factors, such as nutrient status, primaryproduction, microbial biomass, and coagulation processes.namely: to define…we used certified reference materials, namely C36 n-alkane andphenanthrene, obtained from… Edanz Group Japan | 43
  • 44. Language 英語の質Some journals are very clear regarding theirEnglish requirements, and about what happens tomanuscripts that do not meet their standards… European Polymer Journal Language and Style: Manuscripts should be written in English in a clear and concise manner. Manuscripts which are not written in fluent English will be rejected automatically without refereeing. 査読なしでリジェクトする Edanz Group Japan | 44
  • 45. Language Dash or hyphen ダッシュとハイフンHyphen (-): for joining usually separate wordsIncorrect use can lead to ambiguity twenty-four hour reactions is different to twenty four-hour reactions Edanz Group Japan | 45
  • 46. Language Dash or hyphen ダッシュとハイフンEn dash (–): means “through” October 26–29; pp. 2–5. (don’t use ~)Em dash (—): Used to break a sentence, introducesomething, or introduce an afterthought.These two metals—that is, titanium and magnesium—are very light. Edanz Group Japan | 46
  • 47. Language Colon or semi-colon コロンとセミコロンThe colon “:” is used to introduce a list or a clause that explains what precedes itSemicolon “;” is used to separate the items in a list too long for commas or where commas could be ambiguous. Use ‘and’ before the last item in the list.There are a number of journals for surgery manuscripts:Surgery, produced by Elsevier; Journal of Surgery, producedby NMS; British Journal of Surgery… Edanz Group Japan | 47
  • 48. Language Colon or semi-colon コロンとセミコロンUse a semicolon to join two sentences that are not independentIn previous sediments of all salinities, MeHg production washighest at previous sediment depths just below the oxic/anoxictransition; that is, depths where microbial sulfate reduction waspresent, but where sulfide, which inhibits methylation, wasrelatively low.One sentence is too long; but the two sentences must be connected Edanz Group Japan | 48
  • 49. Language Asian fonts アジアフォントBe careful of Asian fonts such as MS Mincho and SimSumDo not use Asian fonts in your manuscriptsFor example: 、 ,;()× % < >℃Why not?Because they look like this on some computers: □ or ? Edanz Group Japan | 49
  • 50. Reporting numbers Guidelines 数字の記述 Use an appropriate amount of precision: Life expectancy of 22.085 years → 22 yearsData should be rounded when presented NOTwhen analyzedAlways give numerator and denominator. E.g.,25% (650/2958)Avoid using percentages to summarize smallsamples (e.g. ≤100) Edanz Group Japan | 50
  • 51. Reporting numbers Guidelines 数字の記述Be very clear with percentages within subgroups: “Of the 1000 patients, 800 (80%) were women; (31%) had a BMI of…” “Ofthe 1000 patients, 800 (80%) were women; of these, 250 (31%) had a BMI of…” Edanz Group Japan | 51
  • 52. Numbers in the text General rules 数字に関するルールSpell out the numbers one through nine and usenumerals for 10 and greater, except: Units of measurement 2 mL, 4 min Beginning a sentence Two patients with… Reporting a series including numerals “We enrolled 5 patients with AD, 12 with PD and 20 control individuals.” Reporting numbers consecutively five 2-mL tubes Reporting a range including a number greater than nine 5–12 Edanz Group Japan | 52
  • 53. Numbers in the text General rules 数字に関するルール Always use a space between numbers and units 10 mL not 10mL No space is needed before a % 56% The word “of” should be used to describe amounts 6 mg of caffeine was… The word “of” is not needed for concentrations rats were administered 6 mg/mL caffeine Edanz Group Japan | 53
  • 54. Language UK or US spelling UK英語かUS英語か?Be consistent 一貫させるCheck the journal’s Guide for AuthorsGenerally, American journals require US spelling and British journals require British spelling, but many accept either form as long as the spelling used is consistent fibre or fiber centre or center labelling or labeling colour or color Exceptions: Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare; your references Edanz Group Japan | 54
  • 55. Tense 時制Present tense for:Figure and table legendsReferring to figure and table contents within the textCurrent state of understandingImplicationsPast tense forMaterials and methodsResultsPrevious studies Edanz Group Japan | 55
  • 56. Avoiding mistakes Minimizing errors 間違いを防ぐThe internet can help you インターネットの活用Google Scholar to check for word usageCheck your target journal’s home page for full instructionsMS Word MS Wordの活用Track changes functionComment functionFind (and replace) to check for consistencyWord Count functionSpell Check (but be careful) Custom Dictionaries (provided by some academic societies for specific fields) Online glossaries provided by academic societies Edanz Group Japan | 56
  • 57. Language Minimizing errors 間違いを最小限にするProject planning your manuscript: 1 •Brief outline 2 •Extensive outline 3 •First draft 4 •Abstract Edanz Group Japan | 57
  • 58. Why are journal guidelines important? ジャーナルガイドラインはなぜ重要か? Difference between acceptance and rejection Save time Edanz Group Japan | 58
  • 59. What to look for? 注視する点は? Check journal website and sample papers Types of paper Word counts  Total  Each section Order of sections  Introduction, Methods, Results, Discussion (IMRaD) Edanz Group Japan | 59
  • 60. What to look for? 注視する点は? Title page  Title: length, unacceptable words, running title  Authors: full names, correspondence  Affiliations: format, full or partial address  Others: word counts, acknowledgements, conflict of interest statement, key words, abbreviations Edanz Group Japan | 60
  • 61. References 文献一覧Pay attention to reference style in text:Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior (Suzuki et al., 2005).Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior (Tanaka and Honda).Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior [1].Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior (1).Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior. [1,2]Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior [1–3].Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior.¹Tanaka reported that insect hunting was an ideal way to study predatorybehavior (2005). Edanz Group Japan | 61
  • 62. References 文献一覧If you need to abbreviate, use the following resources: BIOSIS (BIOSIS Serial Sources) CASSI (Chemical Abstracts Service Source Index) Index MedicusTitle: Advances in drug research Title: Medicine and science in sportsAbbreviation: Adv. Drug Res. Abbreviation: Med. Sci. Sports Some journals limit the number of references: check the Guide for Authors Check a sample paper if you are not sure of the style Referencing styles: APA, Chicago, MLA, ACS, IEEE, Vancouver Use reference managers such as EndNote or BibTeX Edanz Group Japan | 62
  • 63. Journal guidelines ジャーナルガイドライン Edanz Group Japan | 63
  • 64. Examples ジャーナルCarbohydrate PolymersElsevierImpact factor: 3.167 (2009) Edanz Group Japan | 64
  • 65. Carbohydrate Polymers Original full-length research papers, Review papers, Short Communications, Letters to the Editor, Book Reviews Original research papers must be < 6000 words, < 8 figures/tables Title page  Title, author names and affiliations, corresponding author details Abstract  Unstructured, 100–150 words Maximum of 6 keywords, using American spelling Edanz Group Japan | 65
  • 66. Carbohydrate Polymers Main text  Introduction, Materials and methods, Experimental, Results, Discussion, Conclusions, Appendices Reference format:  Van der Geer, J., Hanraads, J. A. J., & Lupton, R. A. (2000). The art of writing a scientific article. Journal of Scientific Communications, 163, 51–59. Edanz Group Japan | 66
  • 67. Resources and links 参考資料 http://www.edanzediting.co.jp/kitami_2011 This presentation Templates Guidelines 67 Edanz Group Japan | 67
  • 68. Thank you Good luck!ご清聴ありがとうございました 。 Edanz Group Japan | 68