Effectivelycommunicating your  research findingsKyushu UniversityWarren Raye, PhDSenior Life Sciences EditorEdanz Group27 ...
A little about me…Author                                                                 ResearcherVirology, Stem Cell Bio...
Topics covered• Reader expectations• Simple language• Common mistakes• Resources
Why is clear language important?     •   Avoid rejection     •   Minimize rounds of revision     •   Communicate to the wo...
Reader expectations                      Language requirements    国際舞台で意見交換するには明確な文書表現が重要• Journals are clear regarding th...
Reader expectations   Japanese scientific                      writing style           • Passive voice           • Cause/r...
Reader expectations   English scientific writing                      style         • Active voice         • Conclusion st...
Reader expectations                      Increase readability• Information is easier to  understand when placed  where mos...
Reader expectations                      1. Verb placement• Readers expect verbs to closely follow subjects               ...
Reader expectations                      Verb placement• Readers become confused when subject and  verb are separated by t...
Reader expectations                                   Avoid reader confusionThe smallest of the URFs is URFA6L, a 207-nucl...
Reader expectations                      Which voice?• Active or passive voice?   – Blood samples were collected from 256 ...
Reader expectations                        2. Active voice                         Subject                                ...
Reader expectations                        3. Stress position  • Readers focus on information at the end of a    sentence....
Reader expectations                      Stress positionThe dog sat when her mistress offered a treat.The dog sat when a t...
Reader expectations                        4. Topic position• Readers expect a sentence/phrase to be a story  about whoeve...
Reader expectations                           Topic position                             sentence             idea        ...
Reader expectations                      5. Topic sentences•   Indicates the main idea of a paragraph•   Provides the writ...
Reader expectations                      ExampleIn his studies of the conditioned reflex, Pavlov workedalmost entirely wit...
Simple language                  Readability      “only 4% of readers understand a 27-word               sentence the firs...
Simple language                  Sentence length   • We examined numerous peer-reviewed     journals   • Easy to read arti...
Simple language                  Goals to aim for …• Maximum 25–30 words per sentence• Not more than four 30-word sentence...
Simple language   Make it easy for your                  reader       •   Simple language is best       •   Makes your wor...
Simple language                  Simple wordsAvoid                      Preferredadditional                 moreadequate  ...
Simple language                  More simple wordsAvoid                          PreferredMagnitude                      S...
Simple language                      Unnecessary wordsIn order to determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta ofApoE...
Simple language   Examples of unnecessary                    wordsAvoid                              PreferredFor the reas...
Common mistakes                      Comparisons   • Needed in Results and Discussion sections   • Compare ‘like’ with ‘li...
Common mistakes                       ExampleExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with non-smokers.Expression...
Common mistakes                      Comparisons   • Relative terms, such as more, higher and     greater, require a refer...
Common mistakes                   ‘Between’ or ‘among’?• Use between for comparisons of two groups… the only difference be...
Common mistakes                  Respectively• ‘Respectively’ is often misused• Used to refer to two corresponding lists  ...
Common mistakes                         ExampleOxygen detector flow   Nitrogen detector flow   Hydrogen detector flow85 mL...
Common mistakes                   Colons and semi-colons• Colons (:) are used to introduce a list• Semicolons (;) are used...
Common mistakes                   Numbers in the text• Use a space between numbers and units  – 10 mL not 10mL• No space i...
Coverage and     Resources    Staffing Plan   There is help for you•   Books•   Style manuals•   Writing course•   But … n...
Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan      Helpful websites       • Paradigm Online Writing Assistant       powa.org/       ...
Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan   Author Academy
Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan   Edanz Journal Advisor      edanzediting.co.jp/journal_advisor
Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan   Edanz Journal Selector     edanzediting.co.jp/journal_selector
Coverage and Resources      Your target journal inStaffing Plan                  minutes not days                         ...
Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan   Refine your results                         Recommended                            j...
Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan   Get more information                           Refined                        recomm...
Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan   Make a decision                         Semantic                       matching term...
Help your readers understand“If you can’t explain something simply,you don’t understand it well.”        – Albert Einstein...
Thank you     Good luck!ご清聴ありがとうございました。
Any questions?ご質問はありますか?
edanzediting.co.jp/kyushu201209     Downloads and further reading     @JournalAdvisor          Follow us on Twitterfaceboo...
120927 kyushu section2_edanz
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  1. 1. Effectivelycommunicating your research findingsKyushu UniversityWarren Raye, PhDSenior Life Sciences EditorEdanz Group27 September 2012
  2. 2. A little about me…Author ResearcherVirology, Stem Cell Biology, Arthiritis, Immunology & Molecular Biology Lecturer & teacher Senior Life Sciences Editor
  3. 3. Topics covered• Reader expectations• Simple language• Common mistakes• Resources
  4. 4. Why is clear language important? • Avoid rejection • Minimize rounds of revision • Communicate to the world • Get cited • Help establish a reputation • Advance your career
  5. 5. Reader expectations Language requirements 国際舞台で意見交換するには明確な文書表現が重要• Journals are clear regarding their English requirements Brain Structure & Function Language: Manuscripts will be checked by our copyeditors for spelling and formal style. Clear and concise language will help editors and reviewers concentrate on the scientific content of your paper and thus smooth the peer review process.
  6. 6. Reader expectations Japanese scientific writing style • Passive voice • Cause/reason comes first • Followed by the conclusion 採用率を高める科学英語の書き方:日 本人の論文に特徴的な問題点とは. 2011. International Nursing Review, Supplement 151, 34(3), 94−102
  7. 7. Reader expectations English scientific writing style • Active voice • Conclusion stated first • Then reasoning or explanation
  8. 8. Reader expectations Increase readability• Information is easier to understand when placed where most readers expect to find it• Good writers are aware of these expectations
  9. 9. Reader expectations 1. Verb placement• Readers expect verbs to closely follow subjects Subject Sentence Verb Verb 読者にとって理解しやすくする
  10. 10. Reader expectations Verb placement• Readers become confused when subject and verb are separated by too much contentThe smallest of the URFs (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt)reading frame overlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminalportion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6gene, has been identified as the animal equivalent of therecently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene.
  11. 11. Reader expectations Avoid reader confusionThe smallest of the URFs is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phasethe [NH2]-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene, has beenidentified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene.The smallest of the URFs (URFA6L) has been identified as theanimal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPasesubunit 8 gene; URFA6L is a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frameoverlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminal portion of theadenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene.We identified the smallest of the URFs (URFA6L) as the animalequivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8gene. URFA6L is a … .
  12. 12. Reader expectations Which voice?• Active or passive voice? – Blood samples were collected from 256 patients. – We collected blood from 256 patients. 可能な限り能動態を使う
  13. 13. Reader expectations 2. Active voice Subject Verb Active • Sentences written in the active voice are: simple direct clear easy to read
  14. 14. Reader expectations 3. Stress position • Readers focus on information at the end of a sentence. Subject Verb take-home information
  15. 15. Reader expectations Stress positionThe dog sat when her mistress offered a treat.The dog sat when a treat was offered by her mistress.When the mistress offered her a treat, the dog sat.• Readers, without thinking, concentrate on the end of a sentence. 無意識に文末の情報に重点を置く
  16. 16. Reader expectations 4. Topic position• Readers expect a sentence/phrase to be a story about whoever shows up first Subject Topic position Verb Stress position
  17. 17. Reader expectations Topic position sentence idea idea idea idea Topic link• Linkage and contextThe family went into the courtyard to see the new puppy.The dog sat when her owner offered a treat. Everyonewas so excited they broke into applause. However, as thecourtyard was situated right next to my bedroom, thesound woke me from my sleep.
  18. 18. Reader expectations 5. Topic sentences• Indicates the main idea of a paragraph• Provides the writer with a focus• First sentence of a paragraph• Then discuss/explain the topic• Summarize with a concluding sentence Beginning → Middle → End
  19. 19. Reader expectations ExampleIn his studies of the conditioned reflex, Pavlov workedalmost entirely with dogs and with the salivary reflex.Implicit in all of his work is the notion that everythingthe dog learns from puppyhood on is a result of theassociation of certain events (which happen to occur atthe same time) with the biologically adequate stimulusto some native response such as withdrawing,struggling, eating, sex behavior, or the like. What the dogcan learn… Henry Garrett, “Great Experiments in Psychology”
  20. 20. Simple language Readability “only 4% of readers understand a 27-word sentence the first time” • Your reader should – Only need to read once – Not have to read slowly – Understand your logic immediately
  21. 21. Simple language Sentence length • We examined numerous peer-reviewed journals • Easy to read articles had an average sentence length of 17 words 1文につき1つのアイデア
  22. 22. Simple language Goals to aim for …• Maximum 25–30 words per sentence• Not more than four 30-word sentences in the whole manuscript• Think about ‘reader expectation’ and match the expectation with the contents
  23. 23. Simple language Make it easy for your reader • Simple language is best • Makes your work more relevant • Maximizes understanding • Science is complex
  24. 24. Simple language Simple wordsAvoid Preferredadditional moreadequate enoughapparent clearattempt trydemonstrate showendeavor tryexceedingly very
  25. 25. Simple language More simple wordsAvoid PreferredMagnitude SizeObjective AimPerformed DoneRequested AskedRetain KeepSubsequently LaterSufficient EnoughTerminate EndUtilization Use
  26. 26. Simple language Unnecessary wordsIn order to determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta ofApoE−/− mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied …To determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta of ApoE−/−mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied …
  27. 27. Simple language Examples of unnecessary wordsAvoid PreferredFor the reason that BecauseIn the first place FirstIn the not too distant future SoonFour in number FourGreen color GreenSubsequent to AfterPrior to BeforeExcept in a very few instances Usually
  28. 28. Common mistakes Comparisons • Needed in Results and Discussion sections • Compare ‘like’ with ‘like’ • Use ‘with’, not ‘to’ The tumor excised from the pancreas was compared to the liver.The tumor excised from the pancreas was compared with thatThe tumor excised from the pancreas was compared with the liver.from the liver.
  29. 29. Common mistakes ExampleExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with non-smokers.Expression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with p53levels in non-smokersExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with thosein non-smokers
  30. 30. Common mistakes Comparisons • Relative terms, such as more, higher and greater, require a reference for comparison • Use than or compared with Reactions with the new thermal cycler were faster.Reactions with the new thermal cycler were faster compared withthose in the old cycler.
  31. 31. Common mistakes ‘Between’ or ‘among’?• Use between for comparisons of two groups… the only difference between the original moleculeand the new molecule is ...• Use among for comparisons of more than two groups … significant differences were observed in the H values among bio-, fully- and semi-synthetic molecules
  32. 32. Common mistakes Respectively• ‘Respectively’ is often misused• Used to refer to two corresponding lists – The two values were 143.2 and 21.6, respectively. – The two values were 143.2 and 21.6. – The two tubes were labeled B and S, respectively. – The tubes containing blood and saline were labeled B and S, respectively.
  33. 33. Common mistakes ExampleOxygen detector flow Nitrogen detector flow Hydrogen detector flow85 mL/min 7 mL/min 4 mL/minThe oxygen detector flow was set at 85 mL/min; the nitrogendetector flow was set at 7 mL/min; and, the hydrogen detectorflow was set at 4 mL/min. 28 wordsOxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen detector flows were set at 85, 7and 4 mL/min, respectively. 15 words
  34. 34. Common mistakes Colons and semi-colons• Colons (:) are used to introduce a list• Semicolons (;) are used to separate the items in a list too long for commas• Use ‘and’ before the last item in the list There are a number of journals for surgery manuscripts: General Surgery, published by Springer; the World Journal of Emergency Surgery, published by BioMed Central; and the British Journal of Surgery, produced by Wiley & Sons.
  35. 35. Common mistakes Numbers in the text• Use a space between numbers and units – 10 mL not 10mL• No space is needed before % – 56%• The word “of” should be used to describe amounts – 6 mg of caffeine was …• The word “of” is not needed for concentrations – rats were administered 6 mg/mL caffeine
  36. 36. Coverage and Resources Staffing Plan There is help for you• Books• Style manuals• Writing course• But … not always practical
  37. 37. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Helpful websites • Paradigm Online Writing Assistant powa.org/ • Springer Exemplar springerexemplar.com/ • Google Scholar scholar.google.com/ • Purdue Online Writing Lab owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/
  38. 38. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Author Academy
  39. 39. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Edanz Journal Advisor edanzediting.co.jp/journal_advisor
  40. 40. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Edanz Journal Selector edanzediting.co.jp/journal_selector
  41. 41. Coverage and Resources Your target journal inStaffing Plan minutes not days Insert your proposed abstract
  42. 42. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Refine your results Recommended journals Advanced Matching
  43. 43. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Get more information Refined recommended journals
  44. 44. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Make a decision Semantic matching terms Journal’s IF, Aims & Scope, and Frequency Similar published articles
  45. 45. Help your readers understand“If you can’t explain something simply,you don’t understand it well.” – Albert Einstein• Write to express not impress• Consider your audience – their native language may not be English 読者に研究を理解してもらう
  46. 46. Thank you Good luck!ご清聴ありがとうございました。
  47. 47. Any questions?ご質問はありますか?
  48. 48. edanzediting.co.jp/kyushu201209 Downloads and further reading @JournalAdvisor Follow us on Twitterfacebook.com/JournalAdvisor Like us on Facebook

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