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Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex© Joel Young (2011)With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts.Emotion...
Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex© Joel Young (2011)With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts.Some Co...
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Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing

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Notes from a workshop at a local community trust aimed to enhance personal sustainability.

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Transcript of "Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing"

  1. 1. Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex© Joel Young (2011)With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts.Emotional EconomicsA recent development of my thoughts around personality hasled me to focus much more on ‘needs’. To need is to behuman. In the beginning it was said, ‘It’s not good for man tobe alone.’ and I suspect this was a reflection of our greathuman need for connection. As a link to other workshopscheck this diagram to see where needs/longings may fit in.Understanding &Filling Human NeedsDe-shaming ‘needs’Q. What are some basic humanneeds?Friends, family and co-workersQ.Relationships help meetmy need for…?Work Satisfaction & UniquenessQ. What need does workmeet in my life?My Story = My NeedsQ. Because of my life/family story I have a need for…?Rescuing is repeatedly doing for others what they can andshould do for themselves. We do this because of two mainreasons.1. Fear DrivenLack of reassurances to deal with the potential pain.Q.My fear of _____________ leads me to___________.2. Need DrivenOver-compensating as a strategy to meet my needs.Q.I ‘rescue’ because it fulfils my need for ___________.Q. A better strategy to meet this need would be ___________.To Summarise…We all have needs, they are not to be ‘shamed’ as being‘needy’, nor are they to be translated into demands that we puton others. We do need to be aware of what we need so we canthen be intentional about keeping ourselves ‘healthy’emotionally.Further Resources- www.NewInsight.co.nzNotes:
  2. 2. Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex© Joel Young (2011)With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts.Some Common Human NeedsCONNECTIONacceptanceaffectionappreciationbelongingcooperationcommunicationclosenesscommunitycompanionshipcompassionconsiderationconsistencyempathyinclusionintimacylovemutualitynurturingrespect/self-respectsafetysecuritystabilitysupportto know and beknownto see and be seento understand andbe understoodtrustwarmthHONESTYauthenticityintegritypresencePLAYjoyhumourPEACEbeautycommunioneaseequalityharmonyinspirationorderPHYSICAL WELLBEINGairfoodmovement/exerciserest/sleepsexual expressionsafetysheltertouchwaterMEANINGawarenesscelebration oflifechallengeclaritycompetenceconsciousnesscontributioncreativitydiscoveryefficacyeffectivenessgrowthhopelearningmourningparticipationpurposeself-expressionstimulationto matterunderstandingAUTONOMYchoicefreedomindependencespacespontaneity

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