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Summary writing   mye2012 - hscs- post m - sharks-points digest - key
 

Summary writing mye2012 - hscs- post m - sharks-points digest - key

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Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee

Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee

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    Summary writing   mye2012 - hscs- post m - sharks-points digest - key Summary writing mye2012 - hscs- post m - sharks-points digest - key Document Transcript

    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthShark population has been falling. The passage deals with the reasons for this trend and the variousactions that can be taken to arrest it.Using your own words as far as possible, summarise the factors which bring about the reduction inthe number of sharks and what we, as individuals, can do to stop the situation from becoming worse.USE ONLY THE MATERIAL FROM PARAGRAPHS 2 TO 5 OF TEXT 2.Your summary which must be in continuous writing (not note form), must not be longer than 80 words,not counting the words given to help you begin.Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharks............................ B1 Join a conservation group working A1 Repeated catches of cartilaginous fishes towards having effective marine park areas and currently exceed 700,000 tonnes a year no-take zones declared. B2 Subscribe to natural history and diving A2 Few shark fisheries have any kind of magazines enforced management control in place B3 Support campaigns organised for the protection of the environment. A3 Serious reduction in the population of its young B4 Work with the local public aquarium to learn about marine issues and ways to act. A4 Extensive commercial fishing take significant numbers of sharks as by-catch B5 Surf the Internet for learning, observation-sharing and problem solving. A5 The shark’s low reproductive rates B6 We must truly understand how nature works. B7 We must modify our actions to have minimal consequences. B8 We need to help our future generation recognise the power we have to change the environment.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 1
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthShark population has been falling. The passage deals with the reasons for this trend and the variousactions that can be taken to arrest it.Using your own words as far as possible, summarise the factors which bring about the reduction inthe number of sharks and what we, as individuals, can do to stop the situation from becoming worse.USE ONLY THE MATERIAL FROM PARAGRAPHS 2 TO 5 OF TEXT 2.Your summary which must be in continuous writing (not note form), must not be longer than 80 words,not counting the words given to help you begin.WORKING STEPS – PROCESSES leading to the final productAlthough shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharks............................Draft 1Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharks[A1] Repeated catches of cartilaginous fishes currently exceed 700,000 tonnes a yearNOTE:[1] It does not mean that Point [A1] will always need to be the point to be linked up with the provided words. However, if the content is narrative (storytelling), the order of points becomes important and so the first point would need to be positioned there so that logic will not be broken. But in an expository (information giving ) text, sometimes it is possible to play around with the points if we are dealing with “factors” causing some things to happen.[2] “Although” is a very challenging CONTRASTING connector, so the point that I pick to link up with the provided words (in this case, a dependent clause with an additional noun phrase) will have to be one which can be used to show up such a CONSTRAST:We MUST make sure that the MEANING of the summary we are writing is not being destroyed byour carelessness:“Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand” means “BUT shark liver oil is no longer indemand”, [ so why is the shark population falling?]I find Point A1 suitable for linking up because it tellsme that fishermen are still catching a lot of sharksrepeatedly DESPITE the fact that “shark liver is nolonger in demand”. Despite the fact that – althoughPrepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 2
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worth “Cartilaginous fishes” refers to “sharks”. So there is no need to repeat it in Point [A1]. “currently” refers to “presently” or “now”. So, I will work this sentence this way to link up to the beginning dependent clause:Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishingof sharks, particularly repeated catches presently exceed700,000 tonnes annually.THINKING THIS THROUGH:MR. YEO’S Suggestion: Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharks , ^[1] repeated catches of cartilaginous fishes [R] currently [UOW] exceed 700,000 tonnes a year [UOW]Suggestion 1 – I have added a comma (,) after the phrase, “overfishing of sharks” and included the adverb “particularly” or “especially”: Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharks, especially / particularly repeated catches presently exceed 700,000 tonnes annually/ yearly.ORSuggestion 2 – Here I do not add a comma at all. I have simply usedthe preposition “by”: Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of shark by repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually.When you use your own words (UOW), you will need to learn toeconomise:For example: a year (given words) should be replaced by a one-wordexpression – annually or yearly. You should not consider replacing “ayear” with “per year”. It is no that useful because the number of wordshere remains the same.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 3
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthSo we continue with adding the next point… Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of shark by repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually.[A2] Few shark fisheries have any kind of enforced management control in place Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of shark by repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually. Few shark fisheries enforce management control.THINKING THIS THROUGH:[A2] says: Few shark fisheries have any kind of enforced management controlin place.What does this mean? [Remember: We summarise for meaning! Any pointwhich is wrongly summarized is not going to be accepted.]Few shark fisheries have any kind of enforced management control in place – To control WHAT? to control overfishing of sharks WHAT is the meaning of “to enforce”? to really carry out WHAT is “few…have any kind of” “no” So [A2] actually means: “Many shark fisheries have no management control”. Since the topic is on “overfishing of sharks”, there is no need to repeat this phrase. You can either write down: “Few shark fisheries have any management control” 7 words OR “Many shark fisheries have no management control” 7 words.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 4
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worth For those students who are sharper, you will question why do we still have to mention the word “shark” in “shark fisheries”? Can’t we just write out, “fisheries”? What about “any”? Can we leave out “any” if we choose to write down [A2] as “Few fisheries enforce management control”? Few fisheries enforce (UOW = EXERCISE) management control. “Few fisheries” is not the same as “a few fisheries”.Mr. Yeo’s Suggestion: Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of shark by repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually. Few fisheries exercise management control.So we continue with adding the next point… Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of shark by repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually. Few fisheries exercise management control.NEVER STOP EXAMINING THE “CAUSE AND EFFECT” RELATIONSHIPS that youmay find in the points you have dug out:[A3] Serious reduction in the population of its young[A4] Extensive commercial fishing take significant numbers of sharks as by-catch[A5] The shark’s low reproductive ratesPrepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 5
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthYou will realize that POINT [A3] and POINT [A5] are closely related and we should quickly dosomething about it:[A3] Serious reduction in the population of its young.(obviously the shark’s young)And[A5] The shark’s low reproductive rates. The shark’s low reproductive rates cause serious reduction in the population of its young. (14 words)Can this combined sentence be further reduced?The shark’s low reproductive rates cause serious reduction in its offspring’spopulation. (12 words) “serious reduction” “severe / heavy / sharp reduction”.So there you have it:We can add: The shark’s low reproductive rates cause severe reduction in itsoffspring’s populationto Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of shark by repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually. Few fisheries exercise management control. The shark’s low reproductive rates cause severe reduction in its offspring’s population. (25 words)IMPORTANT: “shark’s” is ONE word. // “offspring’s” is ONE wordbecause the apostrophe s [‘s] here signifies POSSESSION.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 6
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthSPECIAL NOTE 1 :The following words are considered to be TWO words even if you write it intheir CONTRACTED forms (not encouraged in summary writing):Wouldn’t = would not / won’t = will notShouldn’t = should not / shan’t = shall notMustn’t = must not / hadn’t = had not / Hasn’t = Has not / Haven’t = have notEXCEPTION:Can’t = cannot (both ONE word) but not advisable to write “can’t” in your summary because ofstylistic considerations).In the sentence, “He’s a student” “he’s” is “he is” (2 words). Theapostrophe [s] here is not POSSESSION, it is a CONTRACTION. OnlyPOSSESSION-related apostrophe [s] attached to a noun word is consideredONE WORD.The shark’s coming. (4 words) Can be expanded to “The shark is coming”.The shark’s population (3 words) Cannot be further expanded.SPECIAL NOTE 2:All hyphenated words are considered as SINGLE WORDS ( One word). Butthat does not mean that you can go about indiscriminately constructinghyphenated words. If you create your own, it will be considered as aMISSPELLING and marks will be deducted in the Language and Styledepartment.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 7
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthSo now that we have exhausted the Points [A], let us continue withPoints [B]:Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharkby repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually.Few fisheries exercise management control. The shark’s lowreproductive rates cause severe reduction in its offspring’spopulation.So let us continue with the B’s:[B1] Join a conservation group working towards having effective marine park areas and no-takezones declared.[B2] Subscribe to natural history and diving magazines[B3] Support campaigns organised for the protection of the environment.[B4] Work with the local public aquarium to learn marine issues and ways to act.[B5] Surf the Internet for learning, observation-sharing and problem solving.[B6] We must truly understand how nature works.[ B7] We must modify our actions to have minimal consequences.[B8] We need to help our future generation recognise the power we have to change theenvironment.NOTE: We have a word limit of 80 words but we have 8 points in B.So be prepared that we cannot include all the points of B in yoursummary. THIS IS PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT. But first let us try toINCLUDE all the points in B to see how many words the summarywould add up to in terms of the number of words.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 8
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthRemember: Points in B fulfills the next question in the SUMMARYQuestion Requirement:Using your own words as far as possible, summarise thefactors which bring about the reduction in the number of sharksand [B] what we, as individuals, can do to stopthe situation from becoming worse.REMEMBER: YOUR SUMMARY IS A ONEPARAGRAPH ANSWER.But let us join the B points together first.[B1] Join a conservation group working towards having effective marine park areas and no-take We can join conservationists who demand effectivezones declared.marine parks and no-take zones.A conservation group conservationistsWorking towards having demandingMarine park areas marine parksWe move on….[B2] Subscribe to natural history and diving magazines[B3] Support campaigns organised for the protection of the environment.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 9
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthUSE SENTENCE COMBINATION TECHNIQUES:We can:[B2] Subscribe to natural history and diving magazines[B3] Support campaigns organised for the protection of the environment. We can subscribe to natural history and diving magazines or support campaigns organized for the protection of the environment. (19 words) We can subscribe to natural history and diving magazines or support environment protection campaigns. (13 words)NOTE: it is quite challenging (but not impossible) to further summarise the phrase, “natural historyand diving magazines”.Further combination of sentences:[B4] Work with the local public aquarium to learn about marine issues and ways to act.[B5] Surf the Internet for learning, observation-sharing and problem solving. We can also work with the local public aquarium to learn about marine issues and ways to act or surf the Internet for learning, observation-sharing and problem solving. (28 words)PLEASE NOTE: “observation-sharing” being HYPHENATED, is ONE word. Can we reduce “the local public aquarium” to “aquarium”? Can we rewrite “to learn about marine issues and ways to act” as “to learn to behave responsibly at sea”? Can we rewrite “surf the internet for learning, observation-sharing and problem solving” as “do research on the Internet”?Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 10
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthMR. YEO’S SUGGESTION: We can also work with the aquarium to learn to behave responsibly at sea or do research on the Internet. (20 words)FURTHER SENTENCE COMBINATION is needed:[B6] We must truly understand how nature works. We must truly understand nature.[ B7] We must modify our actions to have minimal consequences. we must change our behaviorto minimise negative consequences.[B8] We need to help our future generation recognise the power we have to change theenvironment. “to change the environment” is to “to protect the environment”. To help our descendants recognise our ability to protect the environment, we must truly understand nature and change our behaviour to minimize negative consequences. (24 words)So we now put all the points of B together:We can join conservationists who demand effective marine parks and no-takezones. We can subscribe to natural history and diving magazines or supportenvironment protection campaigns. We can also work with the aquarium tolearn to behave responsibly at sea or do research on the Internet. To help ourdescendants recognise our ability to protect the environment, we must trulyunderstand nature and change our behaviour to minimize negativeconsequences. (70 words)Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 11
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthNow add B to A:Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharkby repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually. Few fisheries exercisemanagement control. The shark’s low reproductive rates cause severe reduction in itsoffspring’s population. We can join conservationists who demand effective marine parksand no-take zones. We can subscribe to natural history and diving magazines or supportenvironment protection campaigns. We can also work with the aquarium to learn tobehave responsibly at sea or do research on the Internet. To help our descendantsrecognise our ability to protect the environment, we must truly understand nature andchange our behaviour to minimize negative consequences. (95 words)Do we leave this alone because we have a lot of points? (Reason: we havemore than 8 content points!)Strategy 1 - If there is no time left, leave it as it is.Strategy 2 - If you still have time, get the summary within the 80 words.Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharkby repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually. Few fisheries exercisemanagement control. The shark’s low reproductive rates cause severe reduction in itsoffspring’s population. We can join conservationists who demand effective marine parksand no-take zones. We read natural history and diving magazines or support environmentprotection campaigns. We may work with the aquarium or surf the Internet to learn tobehave responsibly at sea. For our descendants’ sake, we must truly understand natureand change our behaviour to protect the environment. (83 words)If you still have time, attempt to further improve your summary by reducingthe number of words to 80 words.Although shark liver oil is no longer in demand, overfishing of sharkby repeated catching presently exceeds 700,000 tonnes annually. Few fisheries exercisemanagement control. The shark’s low reproductive rates cause severe reduction in itsoffspring’s population. We can join conservationists who demand effective marine parksand no-take zones. We read nature-related magazines or support environment protectioncampaigns. We may work with the aquarium or surf the Internet to learn to behaveresponsibly at sea. For our descendants’ sake, we must truly understand nature andchange our behaviour to protect the environment. (80 words)THERE YOU GO – USE YOUR 40 MINUTES WISELY TO work on your SUMMARY question.Prepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 12
    • 1190 Paper 2 Summary Question MYE 2012 – Post MortemRevision for End-of-Year Examinations 2012Remember: Summary Questions – 8 marks for CONTENT & 7 marks for Language andStyle (Use of English) = 15 marks worthPrepared by Yeo Yam Hwee for 3NA students at HSCS. 21 September 2012 Page 13