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Made For Each Other2
 

Made For Each Other2

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    Made For Each Other2 Made For Each Other2 Presentation Transcript

    • Made for Each Other: The Ultimate Complements
    • Freud
      • Women envy men
      • Women want male genitalia
        • If not, male child to compensate
      • Women are not content with being women
    • Karen Horney
        • Male narcissism is the only basis for the assumption that half the human race (females) are discontented with the sex assigned to it.
      • Alpha bias – tendency toward exaggerating differences between males and females
      • Beta bias – inclination to ignore or minimize differences between males and females
      Do we focus on Competition or Complements?
    • Intelligence
      • No differences between males and females on general level of intelligence
      • Higher gender non-conformity (those who step out of gender roles) is related to higher IQ
        • The higher the IQ, the more likely individual will NOT conform to gender roles
    • 2 Brains with Equally Intelligent Behavior
      • UC Irvine study has found significant differences in brain areas where males and females manifest their intelligence
      • In general, men use approximately 6.5 times the amount of gray matter related to general intelligence than women, and women use nearly 10 times the amount of white matter related to intelligence than men
    •  
    • F E M A L E B R A I N NEED FOR COMMITMENT HEMISPHERE IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS SENSE OF DIRECTION NUCLEI CHOCOLATE CENTER SEX PARTICLE PHONE SKILLS ARGUE & DEBATE LOBE BOSSINESS INDECISION SHOPPING JEALOUSY ICE CREAM RECEPTORS
    • M A L E B R A I N COMPUTER FIXATION LOBE INTERRUPTION LOBE TV SPORTS MATH STUFF SEX REMOTE CONTROL ADDICTION CENTER LAME EXCUSE GLAND ABILITY TO DRIVE STICK SHIFT LISTENING PARTICLE COMMITMENT MOLECULE ATTENTION SPAN FRAGMENT PERSONAL HYGIENE ATOM
    • Some Performance Differences
    • HEARING
      • Females
        • have better high frequency hearing
        • less tolerant to loud sounds
        • @ 85 decibels females report a sound twice as loud as males (130 is pain)
    • VISUAL PERCEPTION
      • McGuiness & Symonds (1977)
        • Presented pairs of photos stereoscopically
        • One was an object ; one was a person
      • Males reported seeing more objects
      • Females reported seeing more people
      jk
    • LEARNING & MEMORY
      • Men are better at remembering how to get somewhere (external world)*
      • Women are better at remembering where things are in a given location (internal world)
      • "If Columbus could find America, I feel like I should be able to find my niece's third-birthday party."
    • VERBAL PERFORMANCE
      • FEMALES
        • Better at anagrams, generating synonyms, writing
      • Girls talk earlier than boys, develop larger vocabularies,* better grammar
      • MALES
        • Better at analogies
      • Boys are 3-4x more likely to be stutterers
      • Boys are 10x more likely to be dyslexic
      • Meta-analysis of over 165 studies – no overall differences
      • Women use 8,000 to 9,000 words a day
      • Men use 2,000 to 4,000 words a day on average
    • MATH (Quantitative Performance)
      • Males
        • Tendency to outperform females (gap decreasing)
    • VISUAL SPATIAL
      • Males
        • Do better on mental rotation* (visualizing image from different angles)
          • With experience, females narrow the gap
        • More likely to use north/south/east/west when giving directions
      • Women
        • More likely than men to notice if an object has been moved from its original location (spatial location memory)*
        • Better than men in finding lost objects
        • More likely to use landmarks when giving directions
    • Mental Rotation Task
    • Spatial Location Task
    • Spatial Location Task
    •  
    • Spatial Perception Spatial Visualization
    • OVERALL …
      • Males and females perform better on tasks considered gender-appropriate for their sex
    • Some Social Differences
    • AGGRESSION
      • Stereotype: Males are more aggressive than females
      • Bandura (1973)
        • Boys and girls are equally aggressive when offered equal rewards for aggressive behaviors
        • Equal rewards are not what usually happens in the real world
      • MALES
      • Males – more overt aggression – aggress or threaten physically
      • More spontaneously aggressive
      • Boys approve of more aggression and expect more rewards and fewer punishments for aggression
      • Males are taught they have the right to aggress to get their way
      • Men describe aggression as a means of control over another
      • FEMALES
      • Females engage in more relational aggression – hurt by damaging person’s relationships
      • Express less aggression overall
      • Have more anxiety about aggressive feelings
      • Describe aggression as a loss of self control
      • More likely to feel their aggression is justified (pushed beyond limits of endurance) - aggress after being provoked
    • INFLUENCEABILITY
      • WOMEN
      • Women’s opinions tend to remain unchanged when confronted within a group
      • Women influence other women more than men
      • The less social action, the less women are persuaded
      • MEN
      • Men’s opinions change in the direction of greater nonconformity when confronted within a group
      • Men resist or reject influence by women, particularly if the women are direct & competent
    • DOMINANCE
      • Imposing one’s will on others and control of others
      • FEMALES
      • Slightly more likely to become social leaders
      • MALES
      • Score higher on personality measures of dominance
      • Mixed sex groups:
        • Men talk more than women (dominate conversation more)
        • Interrupt or ignore women more
        • Fail to pick up on conversational topics raised by females
        • Male takes lead no matter who scored high on dominance tests
      • Same-sex groups
        • Men show no more tendency to dominate conversation than women do
        • More likely to emerge as leaders in groups without a leader
        • High dominance partner takes lead
    • NURTURANCE
      • Women score higher than men on nurturance measures
      • Sexes do not differ in their physiological responses to a baby’s cries but women report being more bothered by the cries
      • Men and women equally good at discriminating among different kinds of cries
    • EMPATHY
      • “ I tend to get emotionally involved with a friend’s problems” – females score much higher on this measure of empathy
      • No differences of physiological response to another person’s distress to others’ feelings
      • FEMALES
      • Somewhat better than males in interpreting the meaning of audio cues and visual cues
    • ALTRUISM
      • MEN
      • More likely to help in dangerous situations or in the presence of an audience
      • More likely to help in gender appropriate situation
      • WOMEN
      • More likely to help in gender appropriate situations
        • Elderly
        • With children
      • Best friends are almost always the same sex
      • BOYS GIRLS
      • Larger groups Smaller groups
      • Less intimacy Fewer, more intimate relationships
      • Embark on exploration Explore interpersonal
      • of world concerns
      As Children…
    • Boys at Play
      • Boys tend to play outside, in large groups that are hierarchically structured
        • A leader who tells others what to do
        • Giving orders negotiates high status
        • Games have winners and losers
        • Games have elaborate rules, often challenged
        • Boast of their skills
        • Argue about who is best at what
    • Girls at Play
      • Girls play in small groups or pairs
        • Center of her social life – her best friend
        • Intimacy is key in the group
        • Games – everyone gets a turn
        • Most activities do not have winners and losers
        • Less likely to order; more likely to suggest
    • Interactions in Social Groups
      • BOYS GIRLS
      • Interrupt Allow others to speak
      • Command Acknowledge valid
      • Threaten points by others
      • Boast
      • Refuse to comply
    • Adulthood: Friendship
      • Females
      • Share feelings and problems
      • Women disclose more about themselves than men & more likely to be recipients of self-disclosure than men
      • Lesbian and heterosexual females self-disclose about the same
      • Males
      • More activity sharing
      • Talk about business, sports, politics
      • More likely to reveal strengths, hide weaknesses
      • Gay men self-disclose more than heterosexual men
      • Both sexes define a friend as someone you can talk to about anything
      • STRATEGIES OF INFLUENCE
      • Researcher: Paula Johnson
      • INDIRECT
        • Covert, manipulative, keeping other unaware
        • Let her/him think it was her/his idea
        • What happens when men use this strategy?
      • DIRECT
        • Uses orders, direct requests, power is open
        • What happens when women use this strategy?
    • Intimacy and Independence
      • She seeks intimacy
        • Discuss things with me
        • Seeking Connection: we are similar
      • He seeks independence
        • I can decide on my own
        • Seeking Status: we are different
          • We are in a hierarchy of power and status
    • I have a problem…
      • He wants to fix it
        • Makes him smarter, more competent
        • Less comfortable receiving help
      • She wants to talk about it
        • Wants to reinforce connection/similarity to others
        • More comfortable receiving help
    • How do I nurture and enhance my relationship?
    • Emotional Intimacy & Affection
      • Trust and closeness
          • I’ll be there for you every day
          • I’ll be there for you whatever happens
          • I am proud of you
          • I will not intentionally hurt you
          • I am happy you are my partner
      • Hugs and kisses
      • Tell her you love her every day
      • Call her during the day
      • Shop for a woman
      • Help with the dishes
      Showing Her Affection
    • Showing Him Affection
      • Hugs and kisses
      • Expressing appreciation for his role as provider
      • Expressing appreciation for the time he gives you and the children
      • Make time to be with him/do things together
      • Compliment him to others
      • Give him your attention
      • How do I show my partner affection?
    • Conversation
      • Develop interest in each other’s interests
      • Give each other time to talk
      • Inform each other of your activities, needs
      • Give each other undivided attention
      • How much time do we share in conversation each day?
    • Having Fun Together
      • Develop and expand on mutual interests
      • Try something new
      • Engage in activities that you both enjoy
      • How much time do you spend with your spouse engaging in recreational fun you both enjoy?
    • Finances
      • Generally, the family should be living on one income; if the other partner works, that money should not go to basic living expenses
      • Make a budget
      • Cut down on expenses
      • Have we realistically assessed our expenses?
    • Domestic Responsibilities
      • Negotiate who will do what
      • What affects your willingness to help your partner with domestic responsibilities?
    • Family Commitment
      • Meals together
      • Walks, bike rides
      • Family councils
      • Board games
      • Sports events
      • Reading together
      • Family service or work projects
    • Admiration
      • Appreciate your partner for who she or he is right now
    • Remember the Source of Your Love
      • Pray together
      • Pray alone
      • Read your scriptures
      • Do your best to live in harmony with the Spirit
      • Exercise faith
      • All human beings—male and female– are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny . Gender is an essential characteristic of individual pre-mortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
      • “ We live in a day when there are many political, legal, and social pressures for changes that confuse gender and homogenize the differences between men and women. Our eternal perspective sets us against changes that alter those separate duties and privileges of men and women that are essential to accomplish the great plan of happiness.”
      • Elder Dallin H. Oaks