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Sabotaging Your Goals
 

Sabotaging Your Goals

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The biggest roadblock you have to success is not lack of money, your upbringing, where you live or anything like that. The biggest obstacle you have to overcome is your own subconscious and ...

The biggest roadblock you have to success is not lack of money, your upbringing, where you live or anything like that. The biggest obstacle you have to overcome is your own subconscious and self-defeating ways. There is hope for you and you deserve to have the success you desire. Find out how.

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    Sabotaging Your Goals Sabotaging Your Goals Document Transcript

    • Goal Setting Goaltenders Do you ever feel like there is an invisible force stopping you from completing your goals? No matter what action you take you hit dead ends, resistance from others and that inner voice is being your own worst enemy. Like there is someone standing stopping all your goals from ever happening. There will be external obstacles and roadblocks to face but the biggest ones come from inside of us. We tend to hold ourselves back due to a fear of failure or looking bad. Failure only comes from not trying or consciously making the same mistakes repeatedly. Personal growth comes from making mistakes and taking on the challenge of being up to something remarkable. There is no such thing as failure when it comes to improving your life. The Curse Of The First Six Weeks You most likely have heard that it takes 21 days to create a new habit and I agree with that. When you are trying to change your life it can take a little bit longer to really engrain your goals into your core being and vision into your life. I see the first 21 days as the exciting time when you are creating change and seeing results. You eat out less, save some money and feel great. At the end of the 21 days you have new habits established which was the easy part. The next three weeks are crucial in maintaining those habits. People tend to relax at the three week mark thinking all is fixed and good to go so they stop consciously focusing on those habits. This is when things fall apart and complacency can set in. Can I eat healthy for three weeks and hit the gym to start losing weight? Most people can commit to 3 weeks of that but what about after 6 weeks and then 6 months. These are the true tests of real goal setting (http://www.wiggmanscoaching.com/how-to- set-goals-ebook/). Now that we know we want to get over that 6 week hump let’s look at some other goal stopping traps to avoid. The Most Common Mistakes In Goal Setting
    • What goes wrong in goal setting? Obviously there could be any number of things but here are four of the most common mistakes people make when planning their goals. 1. The goal is not yours but is someone else’s vision of success. You must apply intrinsic motivation to each goal you have in order to feel a personal enthusiasm for accomplishing your goals. If you feel a goal has been forced upon you by the people who surround you then you will never feel a sense of satisfaction even if you do achieve the goal. Comparing yourself to others and trying to copy their success causes goals to fall short if you haven’t defined what success really means to you. 2. The goal is too vague. A goal that is vague has no driving force. Goals of being “healthy” or “achieving happiness” are too broad and have no specific definition. I run 10 miles every day, eat 5 servings of vegetables daily and drink 5 liters of water a day is a great example of what healthy may be defined as. Goals should always be clear and specific. It might help to ask the question “How will I know when I’ve achieved this goal?” If you are not sure, then your goal is probably too vague. 3. Setting an individual goal that’s too hard or too easy. It’s best to avoid both extremes. A goal that is too difficult to reach right off the start will intimidate you from even trying again. On the other hand, a goal that is too easy will not keep your interest or motivate you to step outside of your comfort zone. Challenging and realistic goals will be the best kind to start. 4. You told everyone about your goal. It is important to share your goal with people to gain knowledge and support. The key is telling the right people. Including people who contribute negativity in your life or are naturally naysayers due to their own lack of success will be detrimental in your goal pursuit. Choose who you tell wisely so you avoid ridicule or criticism in the future. Friends can be the worst people to tell sometimes being they believe they know you and tend to second guess you and jokingly mock your progress—which can be discouraging. Feeding Your Subconscious Your Goals Our subconscious mind is one of the most powerful goal setting tools you have. You have full control over the success it creates for you based on the type of emotions you are feeding it. If you really want to change your life (http://www.wiggmanscoaching.com/lifestyle-design- mastery/) you need to become aware of what you are telling your subconscious you want.
    • Are you feeding it negative self-thoughts or grand visions of the life you are going to create? You become what you think about most of the time, so what are you thinking about. Could you have a subconscious fear of success? Absolutely you can. I know it seems strange to think people are afraid of success but it is a very real concern. I know of people who routinely self-destruct as soon as they start to accomplish great goals. They start to realize they are great at something and then fear of success sets in. They feed their subconscious thoughts of potentially getting fired, poor performance and the inability to maintain the success. Then what happens is their subconscious takes what it is fed and puts you into action to get the results you want. When these types of people get fired they are not surprised because that is all they thought about. I can reassure you that when you feed your subconscious the emotions and visions of success you will continually create success. You already understand you will have set backs so they will not surprise you or derail your efforts. If you are worried you will become someone you dislike in order to achieve success then that is the person you will become. Focus on being the person you love to be then be it and you will find success. What You Surround Yourself With You Become The people and physical environment you choose to surround yourself with will play a very important role in determining your success. Have you ever heard the expression “It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys”? There is a lot of truth in that statement. If you are surrounded by negative influences you cannot expect to achieve your goals based purely on positive energy. You must be able to identify negative influences, whether these influences are people, places or things, and then remove yourself from the situation. When we live and grow in a negative environment, we tend to become like the people and the community around us. Not only must you try and remove yourself from the negative influences, but you must put yourself in a more positive setting. You want an environment that can encourage you to reach your goals. That might mean making new friends or even moving into a community that shares your values.
    • Your community—which includes your circle of friends, your continuing education and your choice of entertainment—will shape who you become. Remember this as you decide to make necessary changes in life. If you are unwilling to part ways with negative influences then you will probably not succeed. Change isn’t easy and as you grow you will need to make some tough decisions on what and who you are surrounding yourself with. What if You Can’t Change Your Surroundings? I recognize that it is not always possible in the moment to change your surroundings for the better. If you face this type of situation what can you do? Persevere. You can live with the intention to change what surrounds you and focus all of your energy on making it happen. There are numerous rags to riches stories or people who escaped the confines of a bad neighborhood. Even if you are unable to control the environment, you can certainly control what you are willing to listen to and silence negativity when it approaches. If you are dealing with a negative friend or family member then it may help to explain to them that you do not want to listen to negativity. Reassure them that you are open to supporting their choice to create change but there is no room for complaining and blaming Be assertive when having this conversation. If the negativity keeps up, choose to limit your association with the person. Always remain true to yourself. Be firm in your decision making and do not let the opinions or even demands of others affect your lifestyle. It’s better to be respectful with those that you disagree with but still adhere to your personal aims. It is important to note that you cannot change other people and your sole goal is to become the best possible version of yourself. You may be surprised at how your changes inspire others around you to do the same. You have the choice as to the negativity you allow into your surroundings whether it is friends, family or even the news. Living Into A Subconscious Stereotype Something that lurks in our subconscious that we need to be aware of is the stereotype we have applied to ourselves. I am not talking about the external stereotypes others place on us because you now know you have a choice as to whether you will let their negative comments affect you.
    • There are internal stereotypes we allow to hold us back from achieving our goals that can sound like: I will never accomplish anything because I am lower class. I will never become a success because I am nothing special. I will never achieve my dreams because I don’t have the ability. I am destined to become just like my mother/father. I will never amount to anything beyond my race, sex, religion, lifestyle, etc. These are self-defeating stereotypes and have no place in your goal setting journey. I can tell you that you are powerful, capable and deserving of living a life you love. Be who you want to be regardless of whether or not it fits into society’s definition of success. You must be sure that your vision of success—your dream—is one you have created. Take a stand against being labeled and refuse to have other people decide your destiny for you. This is your life and only you know what happiness means for you! Bring On The Goals Now that you understand how we can be our biggest enemy when it comes to achieving our goals you can recognize when you may be acting in a self-defeating way and get back on course. Practically every successful person sets goals which is one of those “secrets to life” that is not often taught in schools. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve the life you desire. People do not accidentally achieve great things. They practice personal development, plan and action. They are always taking positive action. Take Action Request: Take this moment to grab your journal and write down everything you would change about your physical environment and the people you are surrounding yourself with. Remember you can only change yourself so think more about the people who you should distance yourself from not how you wish they would change. For you physical environment learn what you need to learn to fix what is broken and get rid of the clutter. This is Your Life, Your Choice, Your Design. Go and get it! Darrin Wiggins P.S. – If you have loved the Goal Setting posts so far take it to the next level and grab
    • my How To Set Goals book (http://www.amazon.com/How-Set-Goals-Achieving- ebook/dp/B00BOVMRYG)which is FREE on Amazon July 6th – July 10th 2013. Make Sure Your Goal Setting Efforts Aren't For Nothing Take The Lifestyle Design Mastery Course Today! Without an intense focus on your personal development you will not become the person you need to become to achieve your goals. This personal development course is based on hundreds of hours of life coaching and will change the quality of your life. Unlimited Success (http://www.wiggmanscoaching.com/lifestyle-design-mastery)