We had a saying at lululemon athletica when I used to manage their and that was to drop your personal baggage at the door. It will be there for you at the end of the day if you want to take it home with you.
Transcript of "Personal Development Coaching On Dumping Your Personal Baggage"
http://www.wiggmanscoaching.com/personal-development-coaching-dumping-personal-baggage/ June 6, 2013Personal Development Coaching On Dumping Your PersonalBaggageWhat exactly is personal baggage you ask?Let me define what personal baggage means to me:Any negative feelings created by an event and/or person that you are choosing tohold onto ruining your positive outlook on life which in turn causes you to dumpnegativity onto anyone who surrounds you.In other words you are carrying around with you whatever made you mad in thepast and are choosing to project it onto others. Most likely causing them to havebaggage about you now.If you have ever had someone blow up at you for no apparent reason there is agood chance they had some serious baggage with them that day and you justhappened to be the one who had it dumped on them.To be honest I saw it all the time at lululemon. Guests would be in a frenzy oversomething so small you could tell they had other things going on in life and justneeded an excuse to vent. While we trained people to handle those types ofsituations it still affected them as people.Your personal baggage is your responsibility and expressing that baggage bymaking others feel bad in their day is unacceptable. No one deserves to be yourpersonal punching bag when you are dealing with negative feelings. Always checkyour baggage at the door or better yet just let go of it when you are presentingyourself to others.You can develop baggage about anything in life which can make you feel veryoverwhelmed but we will learn a simple way to deal with it very soon. First let’slook at some different types of baggage.Professional BaggageDo you hate your old boss or blame them for your lack of success at your lastcareer? A lot of you will be holding onto baggage from your previous employmentand applying it to your current job. If your last boss treated you unfairly rememberthat you have the responsibility to deal with it and not bring it into your currentplace of employment.
You may inadvertently project your past negative feelings onto your current bossleaving them questioning your work performance while you believe you arejustified to feel that way because they are a “boss.”This isn’t just isolated to previous employment experiences and you can havebaggage about your current job. If you have experienced conflict with a colleague,been passed over for a promotion, etc. it can all turn into baggage and seriouslynegatively affect your performance.One bit of advice on job interviewing. The last thing you want to do when askedwhat you thought about your last place of employment or boss is unload all ofyour personal baggage about how you felt it was. If you only express negativityabout your previous employers it sends up a red flag to your potential new ones.Great leaders will see you as someone who has a lot of personal things to workthrough and will avoid you like the plaque. They want to take on people who wantto develop into great employees. They don’t want to deal with all of you pastbaggage trust me.Personal BaggageHave you ever had one of those mornings that everything felt like it was goingwrong? Woke up, burnt your toast, missed your workout because you lost a shoe,had a flat and then got a speeding ticket on the way to your destination.I am going to guess that when you showed up to wherever you were going, youwould have been quite overwhelmed and possibly described as disheveled orgrumpy. At least by the people that were around and got to deal with you firsthand.Now do an honest assessment of yourself and see how many times you havecarried your morning baggage with you to where you went. Did you snap at thecoffee guy for spelling your name wrong (get over it, Meagan, Megan, Meghan,see my point), cut a guy off in traffic even though you didn’t even signal (couldn’the tell I wanted over, ah no use you signal light next time) and so on and so on.I am guessing if you are human you have done it numerous times pretty muchoblivious to the fact you were doing it. You know you are letting your emotionalbaggage control you when you justify your negative actions based on what othersdid, especially when they didn’t really do anything.Relationship BaggageDo you feel like you are always attracting more of the deadbeats that you just got
out of a relationship with? I will be honest and say it is you, not them. Thebaggage you are carrying around about past relationships is guiding yousubconsciously to seek out those relationships. Crazy I know.You get in life what you think about most in life.You can also be destroying current healthy relationships because you havebaggage about the last hockey player you dated or the fact you were cheated on.You apply the thinking that all (insert typical stereotype of person) are all thesame. Your relationship baggage can show up like a prejudice against others.Letting go is so important to a healthy relationship and always keep in mind thatthe person in front of you isn’t the one that cheated, the one that left you or is justlike your ex. They could be the one that will love you for who you are. There will betimes when your personal baggage comes from a lack of closure.Self-AwarenessIf takes a high level of self-awareness to know when you are choosing to tossyour personal baggage around like an airline baggage handler.You may have been carrying it around so long it doesn’t look or feel like baggageanymore. Even worse is that you may have developed self-limiting beliefs aboutyourself that simply started out as baggage. Now they control everything you do.No matter what type of baggage it is without working on your personaldevelopment goals it will be difficult to know where all the negativity is comingfrom.Dealing With The BaggageWe always had a saying at lululemon athletica which was to check your personalbaggage at the door. By having this built into our culture it changed the waypeople approached coming to work and ultimately how they approached thebaggage in their personal life.I know for myself that by doing this it changed my view on how I was handlingnegative feelings. I consciously thought to myself “Before I walk into mywork/home/business is there anything I know I am holding onto that would makeme less than the best possible version of myself?” and if yes I dealt with it.If I couldn’t deal with it I would ask for coaching. I didn’t complain or blame othersfor what I was feeling as that does not help personal growth. I would ask for helpon how to deal with the feelings and how to let it go.
I would acknowledge my feelings and commit myself to not allowing thosefeelings to dictate my responses and I would consciously choose to not projectany feelings but happiness towards others. They deserved no less.Give yourself the mini timeout you need to reset yourself, let go of the feelingsyou feel realizing the people you are about to see had nothing to do with it andstart fresh. Even if they did have something to do with your current state offeeling you cannot create change without moving past those feelings.Every day is a fresh start on life if you want it to be.The Power of ChoiceI am a big believer in the power of choice. There is very little that I believe canjustify treating others negatively or gives us an excuse to pile our baggage onthem.If you are the friend who constantly complains about your life to the peoplearound you commit to creating change in your life. Use the rule of three. If youhave complained to your friends on a subject more than three times withoutchoosing to change then it is time to just let it go. If you are not going to changeanything why waste the energy talking about it.Friends do your friends a favor and if they continually come to you with the samebaggage, instead of just listening to their rant, challenge them by asking whatthey plan on doing about it this time. Then ask that they only come to you whenthey have actually tried to action change. Seems harsh but really do you deserveto hear about how crappy their relationship is for the hundredth time knowing theyintend to do nothing about it.Learning to let go plays a big part in choosing what to do with your personalbaggage. If you were mad at someone yesterday, let it go and celebrate youhave another day with them to make things different. Always act like each time isthe first time and see how things go.Take Action Request:Before you go into work, your home or a business just ask yourself “Am I about toapply the personal baggage I am carrying from a past experience into thissituation?” If yes take a moment to acknowledge why you feel the way you do,commit to letting it go and go into the situation with a new perspective.
“Personal baggage is like a holding a grudge and we all know holding agrudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.Get over it and just let it go.” – Darrin Wiggins