Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
Presented at Fort Huachuca
June 19, 2014
William Harryman, MSC, NCC, MS
Introductions
• William Harryman, MSC, NCC, MS –
Sexual trauma therapist for the Southern
Arizona Center Against Sexual As...
Who We Are & What We Do
• Southern Arizona
Center Against
Sexual Assault
• Our clients:
▫ Anyone who has survived
a sexual...
Terminology and National Trends
What Are the Terms?
• Sexual Assault: a spectrum of sexual violence that
includes any sexual contact or activity without c...
What Is Consent?
• Consent: a clearly and freely given word or
overt action confirming a willing desire towards
and limite...
1.3 Forcible Rapes per Minute
• 683,000 forcible rapes per year; 56,916 per month;
1,871 per day; 78 per hour; 1.3 per min...
National Statistics on Sexual Assault
Via RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
More Sexual Assault Stats
Via RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
97.5% of
military
rapists
also are
NOT
punished
Who Are the Victims?
This is one version of the story:
• Women:
▫ 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of a...
Age of Victims
• 15% of sexual assault & rape victims are under age 12.3
▫ 29% are age 12-17.
▫ 44% are under age 18.3
▫ 8...
1 in 6 Men Are Abused Before Age 18 – The True Story
1 in 6 Men – The Real Story
• A 2005 study conducted by the
U.S. Centers for Disease Control,
on San Diego Kaiser Permanen...
2 in 5 Men Are Victims of Sexual Violence
• National Crime
Victimization
Survey11
:
▫ In asking 40,000
households about
ra...
Why the Number Is Underestimated
• Males who are raped
or abused are far less
likely to disclose them
than are females.6
•...
Survivors of Sexual Assault Are…
• 3 times more likely
to suffer from
depression
• 6 times more likely
to suffer from post...
Male Survivors Experience…
• Symptoms of post-
traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD) and
depression. 1,2,8
• Alcoholism and dru...
For Men, Rape Leads to PTSD 2x as Often
as Combat Exposure
• For men, rape is the traumatic event most likely to
cause PTS...
References for this Section
1. Dube, S.R., Anda, R.F., Whitfield, C.L., et al. (2005). Long-term consequences of childhood...
Seven Primary Myths about Sexual Assault and Male Survivors
7 Male Sexual Victimization Myths & Facts
• Myth #1 - Boys and men can't be victims.
• Myth #2 - Most sexual abuse of boys...
These Myths Apply to Men, as Well
Myth #1 - Boys and Men Can't Be Victims
• This myth is part of masculine gender
socialization, sometimes referred to as th...
Myth #2 - Most Sexual Abuse of Boys
Is Perpetrated by Homosexual Males
• Pedophiles who molest boys are
not expressing
hom...
Myth #3 - If a Boy Is Sexually Aroused or Orgasms
from Abuse, He Was Willing or Enjoyed It
• Males (and females) often res...
Myth #4 - Boys Are Less Traumatized
by the Abuse Experience than Girls
• Studies show that long term
effects are quite dam...
Both Men and Women Experience…
• anger
• fear
• helplessness
• isolation and alienation
• loss and grief
• negative peer r...
Myth #5 - Boys Abused by Males Are
or Will Become Homosexual
• Sexual orientation is a complex issue – It is
widely believ...
Myth #6 - Boys Who Are Sexually Abused
Go on to Sexually Abuse Others
• This myth can create a terrible stigma for the chi...
Myth #7 - When the Perpetrator Is Female,
the Boy Should Feel Fortunate to Have Been
“Initiated” into Heterosexual Activit...
These Myths Are Dangerous & Damaging
• As long as society believes and teaches these myths
to males from their earliest ye...
Questions or Comments?
More Men than Women Are Raped Each Year
According to the Dept. of Defense…
• In 2012:
▫ The majority of
sexual assault victims
were men — 53
percent in 2012
▫ An ...
2010 Numbers – 56% Male Victims
• About 19,000 men and women suffer
sexual assault each year in the military,
according to...
The Real Number in 2010
• With 1,219,510 men
serving in 2010:
• If only 17 percent
of all male “rape”
victims reported,
th...
Perpetrators Are Perpetrators…
• Military data show:
▫ The typical perpetrator is a man
who has served longer in the
milit...
Rape Is NOT about Sex
• Roger Canaff, who trains Army lawyers in
prosecuting sexual assault cases, says many attacks
amoun...
Military Hazing and Humiliation
• Heath Phillips was seventeen when he entered the Navy (1988):
▫ His first night (on the ...
Men Need to Report Sexual Abuse – Commanders MUST Listen
Ordered to Stay Quiet
• Brian Lewis, the son of a Defense Department civilian, sailed through
three years in the Navy and ...
When Men Report Sexual Assault
• A Baltimore Sun investigation found that when men
do report a sexual assault, military au...
Changing the Atmosphere
• Creating conditions where victims feel
confident reporting assaults is key to punishing
more per...
Man Up, Soldier
• Victims of both genders confront several barriers to reporting:
(1) embarrassment or shame
(2) skepticis...
Is the Atmosphere Changing?
• Nate Galbreath (the top civilian adviser to the
Pentagon's Sexual Assault Prevention and Res...
Do You Want Real Change?
• Baltimore attorney Susan Burke represents dozens of
sexual assault victims in actions against t...
Where Do You Stand?
• If you suffered a sexual
assault, would you
want your commanding
officers to decide guilt
or innocen...
Trent Smith, U.S. Air Force
Air Force Security Guard Trent Smith
• June, 2012, Ramstein AFB: While at an off-
base apartment, a male sergeant touched ...
Military Seeks a Discharge…
• October 2012: Air Force psychologist Capt.
Andrea Graves recommended Smith’s discharge
from ...
Pathologizing the Survivor
• Many soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder
(PTSD) remain on active duty if their condi...
The Verdict of the Investigation…
• After a six-month criminal
investigation, Brig. Gen.
Charles K. Hyde, then
commander o...
The Other Side of the Story…
• Smith grew up in Tigard, Ore., just outside of
Portland—he was sexually abused at age 12
by...
“I Froze and Went Along”
• June, 2012 - The staff sergeant, who was Smith's
"unit sponsor," a noncommissioned officer who
...
Diagnosing a Personality Disorder Is a
Pattern in the Military
• After enlisting in the Navy in 1997, Brian Lewis was
rape...
Personality Disorders, Continued
• "The military has shoved many survivors out the
back door with inaccurate, misleading, ...
Questions Or Comments?
Hypermasculinity and the Culture of Rape
Gender Theory 101
• Gender is constructed and learned
• Sex is biological
• Researchers generally understand gender as a
s...
The Spectrum Is Variable
• The gender spectrum for men can range from masculine
(stereotypically male) to feminine (transs...
Hypermasculinity Rejects the Spectrum
• If gender is a spectrum,
hypermasculinity rejects
that spectrum
• For a hypermascu...
Let’s Step Back: Defining Manhood
What, Exactly, Is Hypermasculinity?
Four Traditional Rules of American Manhood
• Gender studies professor, Michael Kimmel argues there
are four “Traditional R...
What Do You Think?
• Do you agree with Kimmel?
• Is being a man defined by these qualities?
▫ anti-femininity
▫ power and ...
Hypermasculinity, Defined
• Hypermasculinity is a
psychological term for the
exaggeration of male
stereotypical behavior,
...
Hypermasculine Beliefs
• Hypermasculinity is
comprised of four inter-
related beliefs:
▫ Toughness as
emotional self-contr...
Research on Hypermasculinity
• Mosher and Sirkin (1984) have defined
hypermasculinity or the "macho personality" as
consis...
War Is Necessarily Hypermasculine
• Barbara Ehrenreich: "Men make wars for many
reasons, but one of the most recurring one...
War Is Necessarily Anti-Feminine
• Hypermasculinity fears vulnerability and
rejects empathy and compassion
• Hypermasculin...
Military Structure & Hypermasculinity
• Socio-dominance (group-based dominance)
increases during military training (basic
...
The Man Box and Male Socialization
Peer Group Socialization
• We grow up with layers of
messages all telling us what
it means to be masculine:
▫ It’s enforce...
Male-Only Peer Groups
• Bonding of men in male-only peer groups is
associated with hypermasculinity
▫ Expressions of extre...
The Messages We Hear
▫ Be like them (pro athletes)
▫ Don’t cry
▫ Emotions are gay
▫ Don’t trust bitches (women)
▫ Support ...
Popular Culture Socialization
▫ Violence, strength,
toughness, and hyper-
masculinity are rewarded,
admirable characterist...
The Man Box
• We confine men to a very limited “box” of options:
Crawling into the Man Box
• Growing up as boys, we were taught:
▫ men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be
courage...
What If You Could Choose?
• We don’t give our boys a choice in how they are raised – we teach them
as we were taught (with...
The Man Box Leads to Rape Culture
• Tony Porter is a co-founder of A Call to Men, and
works to end violence against women ...
The (not so) Hidden Message
• In answer to Porter’s question, this is what we
are teaching boys about girls:
▫ Only women ...
Questions Or Comments?
Civilian and Military
Rape Culture
• Rape culture is a concept that links rape and
sexual violence to the culture of a society
• Rape culture su...
Rape Culture Says…
Rape Culture Is…
• When women who come forward are questioned
about what they were wearing
• When survivors who come forwa...
Rape Culture and Rape Myths
• Rape culture encourages gender violence and
perpetuates "rape myths“
▫ Rape is merely "rough...
Place Responsibility Where it Belongs
• In our society, we teach girls and women that
men cannot control their sexual impu...
Men Who Rape…
• Insensitive to others/emphasis on self
• Belittling behavior or attitudes towards others
• Employ negating...
Another Take on Men Who Rape…
Personality Characteristics:
▫ Various personality profiles of self-reported college
rapists...
Personality Characteristics
• In rapists, the Aggression, Impulsivity, and
Suicidality scores, as well as Novelty Seeking,...
Aggressiveness & Impulsivity
• Rape is the use
of sexuality to
express issues of
power and anger
• Men rape other
men for ...
Why Men Rape Men
• ANY MAN WHO PRESENTS AS
FEMININE IN ANY WAY DESERVES
THE SAME TREATMENT
• This is a likely source of mi...
Military Sexual Trauma
• As we saw above, many sexual attacks amount to a
particularly violent form of hazing
• Rape is se...
Again, Rape Is Not about Sex
• The criminal justice system (both civilian and
military) and society both see stranger rape...
Only You Can Stop Military Rape
DoD Safe Helpline
• The DoD Safe Helpline is a crisis support
service for victims of sexual assault
• The helpline is avai...
Call SACASA
• We have 24/7/365
crisis phone lines
• Male survivors are
welcome
• Insurance will never
know
• Commanding of...
SAFE Intervention Strategies
• When should you get involved? Whenever
someone could get hurt if the behavior
continues.
• ...
Bystander Options
• If you assess the situation may be dangerous to
you or the victim, call base security or 911
Otherwise...
Bystander Intervention Strategies
1. “I” statements
• Three parts:
▫ 1. State your feelings
▫ 2. Name the behavior
▫ 3. St...
Bystander Intervention Strategies
3. Humor
▫ Reduces the tension
▫ Funny doesn’t mean unimportant – do not
undermine your ...
Bystander Intervention Strategies
5. Bring it Home – Make it Personal
▫ Prevents someone from distancing himself from
the ...
Bystander Intervention Strategies
7. Distraction
▫ Most effective for street harassment
▫ Snaps someone out of their “sexi...
What Else Can Men Do?
• Believe someone who discloses a sexual
assault, abusive relationship, or experience with
stalking ...
What Else Can Men Do?
• Speak up – if someone says something
offensive, derogatory, or abusive, let them know
that behavio...
Questions Or Comments?
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This is the presentation I am giving today (6.19.2014) at Ft. Huachuca (home of U.S. Army Intelligence Center) on male survivors of sexual abuse (including military rape).

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Ft huachuca presentation

  1. 1. Male Survivors of Sexual Assault Presented at Fort Huachuca June 19, 2014 William Harryman, MSC, NCC, MS
  2. 2. Introductions • William Harryman, MSC, NCC, MS – Sexual trauma therapist for the Southern Arizona Center Against Sexual Assault (SACASA) • Other work: ▫ Coaching: Fitness and Nutrition (fitness and performance training) ▫ Coaching: Men’s Issues and Masculinity (relationships, work, self-compassion, and the changing landscape of what it means to be a man)
  3. 3. Who We Are & What We Do • Southern Arizona Center Against Sexual Assault • Our clients: ▫ Anyone who has survived a sexual trauma:  Incest, molestation, sexual assault, sexual harassment, rape, stalking, and anything else that might be considered sexual trauma  Ages 12 and up  Female and male • 24/7/365 Crisis Line: ▫ 520-327-1721 ▫ 800-400-1001 ▫ TTY/DD/SMS: 520-327-1721; ▫ After Hours, 235-3358 • Walk-in clients in crisis are seen between 8 am & noon , and between 1 pm & 5 pm • No fee for services ▫ Your insurance will never know
  4. 4. Terminology and National Trends
  5. 5. What Are the Terms? • Sexual Assault: a spectrum of sexual violence that includes any sexual contact or activity without consent. • Coercion: any form of pressure employed to overcome one’s ability to freely give one’s consent • Sexual Harassment: any unwanted attention or advances regarding sexual gratification, favors, or other verbal or physical conduct of sexual nature • Rape: any penetration (vaginal, anal, oral) with anything (penis, fingers, objects) done without consent • Military Sexual Trauma: the term that the Department of Veterans Affairs uses to refer to sexual assault or repeated, threatening sexual harassment that occurred while the Veteran was in the military
  6. 6. What Is Consent? • Consent: a clearly and freely given word or overt action confirming a willing desire towards and limited to a specific sexual request or experience. • Consent cannot be provided by minors or any individual who is mentally impaired, including impairment by intoxication through drugs or alcohol, or through coercion. • Consent is an affirmative response • It is NOT a lack of response
  7. 7. 1.3 Forcible Rapes per Minute • 683,000 forcible rapes per year; 56,916 per month; 1,871 per day; 78 per hour; 1.3 per minute
  8. 8. National Statistics on Sexual Assault Via RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
  9. 9. More Sexual Assault Stats Via RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
  10. 10. 97.5% of military rapists also are NOT punished
  11. 11. Who Are the Victims? This is one version of the story: • Women: ▫ 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape).1 ▫ 17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape.1 ▫ 9 of every 10 rape victims were female in 2003.2 • Men: ▫ About 3% of American men — or 1 in 33 — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.1 ▫ In 2003, 1 in every ten rape victims were male.2 ▫ 2.78 million men in the U.S. have been victims of sexual assault or rape.1 1. National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey. 1998. 2. U.S. Department of Justice. 2003 National Crime Victimization Survey. 2003.
  12. 12. Age of Victims • 15% of sexual assault & rape victims are under age 12.3 ▫ 29% are age 12-17. ▫ 44% are under age 18.3 ▫ 80% are under age 30.3 ▫ 12-34 are the highest risk years. ▫ Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. • 7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.4 ▫ 3% of boys grades 5-8 and 5% of boys in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused. • In 1995, local child protection service agencies identified 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated or indicated sexual abuse.5 ▫ Of these, 75% were girls. ▫ Nearly 30% of child victims were between the age of 4 and 7. 3. U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sex Offenses and Offenders. 1997. 4. 1998 Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls. 1998. 5. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children and Families. 1995 Child Maltreatment Survey. 1995.
  13. 13. 1 in 6 Men Are Abused Before Age 18 – The True Story
  14. 14. 1 in 6 Men – The Real Story • A 2005 study conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, on San Diego Kaiser Permanente HMO members, reported that 16% of males were sexually abused by the age of 18. 1 • A 2003 national study of U.S. adults reported that 14.2% of men were sexually abused before the age of 18.2 • A 1996 study of male university students in the Boston area reported that 18% of men were sexually abused before the age of 16.4 • A 1990 national study of U.S. adults reported that 16% of men were sexually abused before the age of 18. 5
  15. 15. 2 in 5 Men Are Victims of Sexual Violence • National Crime Victimization Survey11 : ▫ In asking 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence, the survey uncovered that 38 percent of incidents were against men. • Screenwriter and novelist Rafael Yglesias (Fearless, From Hell, Dark Water): • “I used to say, when some part of me was still ashamed of what had been done to me, that I was “molested” because the man who played skillfully with my 8-year-old penis, who put it in his mouth, who put his lips on mine and tried to push his tongue in as deep as it would go, did not anally rape me. … I chose “molestation” hoping that would convey what had happened to me.” • “Of course it doesn’t. For listeners to appreciate and understand what I had endured, I needed to risk that they will gag or rush out of the room. I needed to be particular and clear as to the details so that when I say I was raped people will understand what I truly mean.”
  16. 16. Why the Number Is Underestimated • Males who are raped or abused are far less likely to disclose them than are females.6 • Only 16% of men with documented histories of sexual abuse (by social service agencies, which means they were very serious) considered themselves to have been sexually abused.7
  17. 17. Survivors of Sexual Assault Are… • 3 times more likely to suffer from depression • 6 times more likely to suffer from post- traumatic stress disorder • 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol • 26 times more likely to abuse drugs • 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide World Health Organization. 2002. On the RAINN website: http://www.rainn.org/get- information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
  18. 18. Male Survivors Experience… • Symptoms of post- traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression. 1,2,8 • Alcoholism and drug abuse. 1,9 • Suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. 1,9 • Problems in intimate relationships. 1,10 • Underachievement at school and at work. 1,10
  19. 19. For Men, Rape Leads to PTSD 2x as Often as Combat Exposure • For men, rape is the traumatic event most likely to cause PTSD • Approximately 65% of men who said rape was the most upsetting traumatic event developed PTSD • Other traumatic events likely to lead to PTSD: ▫ combat (38.8%) ▫ childhood neglect (23.9%) ▫ childhood physical abuse (22.3%) ▫ being sexually molested as a child (12.2%)
  20. 20. References for this Section 1. Dube, S.R., Anda, R.F., Whitfield, C.L., et al. (2005). Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 28, 430-438. 2. Briere, J. & Elliot, D.M. (2003). Prevalence and psychological sequelae of self-reported childhood physical and sexual abuse in a general population sample of men and women. Child Abuse & Neglect, 27, 1205-1222. 4. Lisak, D., Hopper, J. & Song, P. (1996). Factors in the cycle of violence: Gender rigidity and emotional constriction. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9, 721-743. 5. Finkelhor, D., Hotaling, G., Lewis, I. A., & Smith, C. (1990). Sexual abuse in a national survey of adult men and women: Prevalence, characteristics, and risk factors. Child Abuse & Neglect, 14, 19-28. 6. Holmes, G.R., Offen, L., & Waller, G. (1997). See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil: Why do relatively few male victims of childhood sexual abuse receive help for abuse-related issues in adulthood? Clinical Psychology Review, 17, 69-88. 7. Widom, C.S. & Morris, S. (1997). Accuracy of adult recollections of childhood victimization part 2. Childhood sexual abuse. Psychological Assessment, 9, 34-46. 8. Widom (1999). Posttraumatic stress disorder in abused and neglected children grown up. American Journal of Psychiatry, 156, 1223-1229. 9. Felitti, V.J., Anda, R.F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D.F., Spitz, A.M., et al. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14, 245-258. 10. Lisak, D. & Luster, L. (1994). Educational, occupational and relationship histories of men who were sexually and/or physically abused as children. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 507-523. 11. Bureau of Justice Statistics: Data Collection: National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS). Intimate Partner Violence: Attributes of Victimization, 1993–2011. November, 2013.
  21. 21. Seven Primary Myths about Sexual Assault and Male Survivors
  22. 22. 7 Male Sexual Victimization Myths & Facts • Myth #1 - Boys and men can't be victims. • Myth #2 - Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by homosexual males. • Myth #3 - If a boy experiences sexual arousal or orgasm from abuse, this means he was a willing participant or enjoyed it. • Myth #4 - Boys are less traumatized by the abuse experience than girls. • Myth #5 - Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual. • Myth #6 - The “Vampire Syndrome” that is, boys who are sexually abused, like the victims of Count Dracula, go on to "bite" or sexually abuse others. • Myth #7 - If the perpetrator is female, the boy or adolescent should consider himself fortunate to have been initiated into heterosexual activity. • http://www.malesurvivor.org/myths.html
  23. 23. These Myths Apply to Men, as Well
  24. 24. Myth #1 - Boys and Men Can't Be Victims • This myth is part of masculine gender socialization, sometimes referred to as the macho image: ▫ Males, even young boys, are not supposed to be victims or even be vulnerable ▫ Males should be able to protect themselves at all times • Reality: ▫ Boys are children - weaker and more vulnerable than perpetrators – they cannot really fight back ▫ Perpetrator has greater size, strength, and knowledge ▫ Perpetrator exercises power from a position of authority, using money, candy, or other bribes – or outright threats – whatever it takes to use a child for sexual purposes.
  25. 25. Myth #2 - Most Sexual Abuse of Boys Is Perpetrated by Homosexual Males • Pedophiles who molest boys are not expressing homosexuality any more than pedophiles who molest girls are expressing heterosexuality • Most child molesters have gender and/or age preferences • Those who seek out boys are overwhelmingly NOT homosexual • They are pedophiles
  26. 26. Myth #3 - If a Boy Is Sexually Aroused or Orgasms from Abuse, He Was Willing or Enjoyed It • Males (and females) often respond to stimulation (get an erection) even in traumatic or painful sexual situations – it’s normal • Sexual offenders know that one way to maintain secrecy is tell a child that his sexual response is an indication of his willingness to participate ▫ "You liked it, you wanted it," they'll say. • Many survivors feel guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal while being abused • BUT, it does not mean that the child wanted the experience or understood what it meant at the time
  27. 27. Myth #4 - Boys Are Less Traumatized by the Abuse Experience than Girls • Studies show that long term effects are quite damaging for either sex • Males may be more damaged by society's refusal to accept their victimization • Males believe that they must "tough it out" in silence • Male Survivors question their masculinity following a rape – female survivors KNOW their femaleness made them a target
  28. 28. Both Men and Women Experience… • anger • fear • helplessness • isolation and alienation • loss and grief • negative peer relations • negative views of self • problems with sexuality • self-blame • shame
  29. 29. Myth #5 - Boys Abused by Males Are or Will Become Homosexual • Sexual orientation is a complex issue – It is widely believed that sexual assault has no impact on sexual orientation • Many boys abused by males erroneously believe that something about them sexually attracts males ▫ They believe this may mean they are homosexual or effeminate • Not true! • The pedophile's inability to develop and maintain a healthy adult sexual relationship is the problem – not the physical features of a sexually immature boy
  30. 30. Myth #6 - Boys Who Are Sexually Abused Go on to Sexually Abuse Others • This myth can create a terrible stigma for the child, that he is destined to become an offender • Boys might be treated as potential perpetrators rather than victims who need help • It is true that most perpetrators have histories of sexual abuse • BUT it is NOT true that most victims go on to become perpetrators • Those who do perpetrate in adolescence usually don't perpetrate as adults if they get help when they are young
  31. 31. Myth #7 - When the Perpetrator Is Female, the Boy Should Feel Fortunate to Have Been “Initiated” into Heterosexual Activity • Premature or coerced sex (by a mother, aunt, older sister, baby-sitter, teacher, or other female in a position of power over a boy) causes confusion at best, and rage, depression, or other problems in more negative circumstances • To be used as a sexual object by a more powerful person, male or female, is always abusive and often damaging
  32. 32. These Myths Are Dangerous & Damaging • As long as society believes and teaches these myths to males from their earliest years… ▫ Sexually abused males will be unlikely to get the recognition and help they need ▫ Sexually abused males will be more likely join the minority of survivors who perpetuate this suffering by abusing others ▫ Sexually abused males will believe these myths, reinforcing another devastating myth that all abused children struggle with: that it was their fault ▫ Sexually abused males will feel ashamed and angry ▫ It is never the fault of the child in a sexual situation – even though perpetrators can be quite skilled at getting their victims to believe these myths and take on responsibility that is always and only their own
  33. 33. Questions or Comments?
  34. 34. More Men than Women Are Raped Each Year
  35. 35. According to the Dept. of Defense… • In 2012: ▫ The majority of sexual assault victims were men — 53 percent in 2012 ▫ An estimated 13,900 last year alone ▫ Only 13 percent of reports last year were filed by men
  36. 36. 2010 Numbers – 56% Male Victims • About 19,000 men and women suffer sexual assault each year in the military, according to former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta • He noted that only about 3,200 assaults were reported – about 17% • About 10,700 of those cases - 56% - involved male victims in 2010, based on anonymous reporting collected by the military
  37. 37. The Real Number in 2010 • With 1,219,510 men serving in 2010: • If only 17 percent of all male “rape” victims reported, this means, based on the figure of 10,700 reported victims… • That 62,941 military men were sexually assaulted by other men in 2010
  38. 38. Perpetrators Are Perpetrators… • Military data show: ▫ The typical perpetrator is a man who has served longer in the military than his victim ▫ The perpetrator holds a higher rank ▫ In most cases, the assailant identifies as heterosexual
  39. 39. Rape Is NOT about Sex • Roger Canaff, who trains Army lawyers in prosecuting sexual assault cases, says many attacks amount to a particularly violent form of hazing • Rape “isn't necessarily seen as a sexual act,” says Canaff, a former prosecutor in New York and Virginia • “It's seen as a humiliating act. It's the ultimate act of emasculation” • Men rape other men for exactly the same reasons they rape women: ▫ To exercise power and control over the victim
  40. 40. Military Hazing and Humiliation • Heath Phillips was seventeen when he entered the Navy (1988): ▫ His first night (on the ammunition ship USS Butte at Naval Weapons Station Earle in NJ), a group of men say, “Hey, why don't you come hang out with us?” And I thought, “Cool.” He went with them to a hotel in NYC ▫ Phillips had 2 drinks — “I really wasn't much of a drinker” — he passed out ▫ “I woke up with my clothes pulled down, guys doing stuff to me, guys masturbating on my face. Instant terror.” ▫ Crying, he locked himself in the bathroom. His shipmates said they were only kidding, it was an initiation, they all went through it. ▫ After returning to the Butte, he told a senior leader what had happened — and was told he was lying. ▫ “It was constant harassment. These guys would terrorize me daily,” including pulling him out of bed and rubbing their genitals in his face. “And I was always called liar.”
  41. 41. Men Need to Report Sexual Abuse – Commanders MUST Listen
  42. 42. Ordered to Stay Quiet • Brian Lewis, the son of a Defense Department civilian, sailed through three years in the Navy and three months aboard the submarine tender USS Frank Cable • On shore in Guam, he was invited to dinner by a higher-ranking shipmate (who had a wife and children) - After dinner, he says, his dinner partner pulled out a knife, threatened his life, and sodomized him • A friend reported the attack, and Lewis was visited by a senior officer on the Cable • He says the officer ordered him not to cooperate with Navy investigators • Lewis says he did as he was told. The investigation stopped dead. There was no court-martial. His attacker was never punished. • There’s more to the story . . . .
  43. 43. When Men Report Sexual Assault • A Baltimore Sun investigation found that when men do report a sexual assault, military authorities are: ▫ Less likely to identify a suspect ▫ Less likely to refer charges to court-martial ▫ Less likely to discharge the perpetrator than in cases in which the victim is a woman • Critics blame those differences on a military culture they say has been slow to recognize the possibility that men can be raped — and remains hostile to the victims • Nancy J. Parrish (president of Protect Our Defenders): ▫ “Male victims face more obstacles, more prejudice against them, more disbelief, more efforts to silence and humiliate them.”
  44. 44. Changing the Atmosphere • Creating conditions where victims feel confident reporting assaults is key to punishing more perpetrators • Getting male victims to cooperate with investigators presents a particular challenge • “You have an environment that values strength and values the warrior ethos,” says Nate Galbreath, the top civilian adviser to the Pentagon's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office • “What we're trying to get across to men is that warriors not only know how to fight, they also know how to ask for help”
  45. 45. Man Up, Soldier • Victims of both genders confront several barriers to reporting: (1) embarrassment or shame (2) skepticism about whether their attackers will be punished (3) concern about the impact on their own careers • Terri Spahr Nelson, author of “For Love of Country: Confronting Rape and Sexual Harassment in the U.S. Military,” says male victims face an additional obstacle: gender expectations in a culture that celebrates the strong, stoic warrior • “It's definitely different for men,” says Nelson (social worker, sometime Pentagon consultant, and served in the Army in the 1980s) • “For men coming forward in the military and being able to report a sexual assault, they're really having to cross that pretty heavy barrier of not being seen as weak — or even, in some cases, being accused of being homosexual.”
  46. 46. Is the Atmosphere Changing? • Nate Galbreath (the top civilian adviser to the Pentagon's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office) says the Pentagon's efforts have led to an increase in reports • More than 3,550 sexual assaults were reported during the first three quarters of the 2013 fiscal year, the Pentagon reported, a nearly 50% increase (only 2935 were reported in all of 2012) • Galbreath expects further gains from the special victims' counsel program
  47. 47. Do You Want Real Change? • Baltimore attorney Susan Burke represents dozens of sexual assault victims in actions against the military: ▫ “Until you create an impartial judicial system, you continue to empower the wrong people. The biases and corruption persist.” • Burke wants Congress to take prosecutions out of the chain of command — where a commander has the sole authority to refer charges to court-martial or not, and to uphold the jury's findings or ignore them. • “The system is rigged in favor of the assailant,” says Rep. Jackie Speier, a California Democrat. • “So much so that you have the vast majority, a supermajority of the victims not reporting it, which means the assailants, sexual predators, continue to operate on other people.”
  48. 48. Where Do You Stand? • If you suffered a sexual assault, would you want your commanding officers to decide guilt or innocence? • Would you want JAG lawyers to make that decision? • Would you prefer local law enforcement to be involved, with a civil trial?
  49. 49. Trent Smith, U.S. Air Force
  50. 50. Air Force Security Guard Trent Smith • June, 2012, Ramstein AFB: While at an off- base apartment, a male sergeant touched him and pressed him to go into the bedroom for sex • "I said, 'No, I don't want to spend the night,'" Smith recalled. • But Smith, 20, says he felt he had no choice. "I went along with it." • Smith reported the encounter up the chain of command three days later • It began an emotional ordeal for him lasting more than a year
  51. 51. Military Seeks a Discharge… • October 2012: Air Force psychologist Capt. Andrea Graves recommended Smith’s discharge from the service • She said a personality disorder made his traumatic stress untreatable • "His condition is so severe it is not conducive with continued military service," the psychologist reported • Her supervisors at the base mental health clinic wrote a May 2013 memo, calling him "depressive," "passive-aggressive" and "odd, peculiar, paranoid and extremely guarded."
  52. 52. Pathologizing the Survivor • Many soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) remain on active duty if their condition can be treated with counseling or medication ▫ Smith was different, his doctors said, because the personality disorder they found meant his PTSD could not be treated [clinically, this is not true] • Smith disputes the diagnosis, and two psychiatrists hired by his lawyers say he does not have a personality disorder. ▫ Smith contends the Air Force is forcing him out despite exemplary fitness reports from his superiors at the Travis chapel (he was transferred in Oct 2012) • The military deals with female victims by claiming they have Borderline Personality Disorder
  53. 53. The Verdict of the Investigation… • After a six-month criminal investigation, Brig. Gen. Charles K. Hyde, then commander of the 86th Airlift Wing at Ramstein, decided the sex was consensual, according to case records • The sergeant was admonished for an "unprofessional relationship" with a lower- ranking airman, the lightest punishment possible
  54. 54. The Other Side of the Story… • Smith grew up in Tigard, Ore., just outside of Portland—he was sexually abused at age 12 by a male teenager, he says • Still, Smith got good grades in high school, played jazz trumpet and made the basketball and track squads • He enlisted in the Air Force after graduation in 2011 • He was sent to Ramstein in March 2012 and assigned to a police unit that patrolled an Air Force apartment complex outside the base
  55. 55. “I Froze and Went Along” • June, 2012 - The staff sergeant, who was Smith's "unit sponsor," a noncommissioned officer who helps ease new arrivals into their assignments, invited him to dinner – that was the night of the alleged assault • Smith's abuse as a child left him fearful that night, he said • It "was the reason I froze and went along" • Dec. 4, 2013 – Three Air Force doctors agreed at a two-hour hearing at Randolph Air Force Base in San Antonio that Smith should be given a medical discharge • Smith is appealing his discharge
  56. 56. Diagnosing a Personality Disorder Is a Pattern in the Military • After enlisting in the Navy in 1997, Brian Lewis was raped by a superior officer during his first tour aboard a sub [his story appeared above] • "I was ordered by my command not to report this crime" • Then, he said, "I was misdiagnosed with a personality disorder" and was discharged with a general discharge (a less-than-honorable designation), meaning he could not receive tuition aid and other G.I. benefits • Diagnosis of personality disorders will remain on his record for the rest of his life • Personality disorders are [wrongly] thought to be incurable
  57. 57. Personality Disorders, Continued • "The military has shoved many survivors out the back door with inaccurate, misleading, and very harmful, almost weaponized, medical diagnoses like personality disorders that affect their benefits and future employment opportunities," Lewis said. • [Former Army Specialist] BriGette McCoy also said many victims are let go with "less than honorable discharges and personality disorders on their records, further hindering them from applying for medical treatment and medical claims."
  58. 58. Questions Or Comments?
  59. 59. Hypermasculinity and the Culture of Rape
  60. 60. Gender Theory 101 • Gender is constructed and learned • Sex is biological • Researchers generally understand gender as a spectrum (Butler 1986 and 1990/1999) • The categories of man and woman have within them immense variation: ▫ Effeminate boys and sensitive men are still boys and men ▫ Masculine girls and aggressive women are still women
  61. 61. The Spectrum Is Variable • The gender spectrum for men can range from masculine (stereotypically male) to feminine (transsexual, gender queer) with variations of androgyny in the middle • At the far end, masculinity can become “trans” or “hyper” masculinity
  62. 62. Hypermasculinity Rejects the Spectrum • If gender is a spectrum, hypermasculinity rejects that spectrum • For a hypermasculine man, only hypermasculinity is “true” masculinity • All other expressions of masculinity are “girly,” “wussy,” “pussies,” or “faggots,” “queers,” “homos” This “girly man,” Erik James Horvat-Markovic (“Mystery”) is a Pick Up Artist (PUA) – his views are hypermasculine, even if his appearance is not
  63. 63. Let’s Step Back: Defining Manhood What, Exactly, Is Hypermasculinity?
  64. 64. Four Traditional Rules of American Manhood • Gender studies professor, Michael Kimmel argues there are four “Traditional Rules of American Manhood” 1. Anti-femininity: Males must avoid behaviors, interests, and traits considered “feminine.” Among these are expression of feeling, emotional vulnerability, sexual feelings for men, and feminine profession (e.g., elementary schoolteacher, nurse, secretary). 2. Status and Achievement: Men gain status by being successful in all that they do, especially sports and work. Powerful men earn the respect and admiration of others. 3. Inexpressiveness and Independence: Men are expected to maintain emotional composure and self-control, to solve problems without help, to keep their feelings to themselves, and to disdain any display of weakness. 4. Adventurousness and Aggressiveness: Masculinity is characterized by a willingness to take physical risks and become violent if necessary.
  65. 65. What Do You Think? • Do you agree with Kimmel? • Is being a man defined by these qualities? ▫ anti-femininity ▫ power and success ▫ independence and stoicism ▫ risk-taking and violence • Are there other qualities that make a man?
  66. 66. Hypermasculinity, Defined • Hypermasculinity is a psychological term for the exaggeration of male stereotypical behavior, such as an emphasis on physical strength, aggression, and sexuality. • This term can be pejorative • It is also used when simply examining behavior (as adaptive or maladaptive)
  67. 67. Hypermasculine Beliefs • Hypermasculinity is comprised of four inter- related beliefs: ▫ Toughness as emotional self-control ▫ Violence as manly ▫ Danger as exciting ▫ Calloused attitudes toward women and sex  (Zaitchik & Mosher 1993)
  68. 68. Research on Hypermasculinity • Mosher and Sirkin (1984) have defined hypermasculinity or the "macho personality" as consisting of three variables: ▫ a) callous sexual attitudes toward women ▫ b) the belief that violence is manly ▫ c) the experience of danger as exciting  They did not include “toughness as emotional control” • They developed the Hypermasculinity Inventory (HMI) designed to measure the three components. • Research finds that hypermasculinity is associated with sexual and physical aggression ▫ Prisoners have higher hypermasculinity scores than control groups, possibly explaining the prevalence of prison rape
  69. 69. War Is Necessarily Hypermasculine • Barbara Ehrenreich: "Men make wars for many reasons, but one of the most recurring ones is to establish that they are, in fact, 'real men.' Warfare and aggressive masculinity have been, in other words, mutually reinforcing cultural enterprises” • Aggression and violence are integral to warfare, and they are also indicators of hypermasculinity • Like the bully, hypermasculinity attempts to punish those who threaten the pseudo-sense of invulnerability fostered by an aggressive masculinity • Still, hypermasculinity is not an essential feature of manhood
  70. 70. War Is Necessarily Anti-Feminine • Hypermasculinity fears vulnerability and rejects empathy and compassion • Hypermasculinity projects a punitive posture towards others • Hypermasculinity is dismissive of any supposed feminine attributes ▫ A soldier must be able to pull the trigger ▫ A soldier in battle cannot get emotional ▫ A soldier cannot feel empathy for those he must shoot ▫ A soldier must risk his own life for his squad
  71. 71. Military Structure & Hypermasculinity • Socio-dominance (group-based dominance) increases during military training (basic training/military academies) • In the military, men's gender roles become more rigid and narrow • Men are heavily scrutinized for any behavior that might seem the slightest bit feminine ▫ therefore weak and unfit for military service • Military socialization, such as bonding ceremonies, creates group cohesion and interdependence • Cohesion creates a sense of accountability within its service members to uphold and maintain these beliefs through self-policing, further perpetuating hypermasculine attitudes
  72. 72. The Man Box and Male Socialization
  73. 73. Peer Group Socialization • We grow up with layers of messages all telling us what it means to be masculine: ▫ It’s enforced on the playground ▫ It’s enforced on teams ▫ It’s enforced when boys play informally ▫ It’s often enforced within families (fathers, brothers, uncles) ▫ It’s often enforced by coaches
  74. 74. Male-Only Peer Groups • Bonding of men in male-only peer groups is associated with hypermasculinity ▫ Expressions of extreme, exaggerated, or stereotypical masculine behaviors and attributes • Where do you see this most (besides the military)? ▫ Sports teams ▫ Police and Fire Units ▫ Construction sites ▫ Oil fields
  75. 75. The Messages We Hear ▫ Be like them (pro athletes) ▫ Don’t cry ▫ Emotions are gay ▫ Don’t trust bitches (women) ▫ Support your family, always ▫ Bros before hoes ▫ Women are only good for one thing ▫ Vulnerability is a woman’s trait ▫ Sex is a sport ▫ Don’t be “gay” ▫ Don’t be “feminine” • The corner of the box in which men are allowed to exist is painted smaller and smaller; their identities allowed less and less room.
  76. 76. Popular Culture Socialization ▫ Violence, strength, toughness, and hyper- masculinity are rewarded, admirable characteristics ▫ We see it in the portrayal of heroes in Hollywood: Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal, Denzel Washington, Jason Statham, and Liam Neeson ▫ Also seen in the value we place on the highest-paid men in the country: professional athletes
  77. 77. The Man Box • We confine men to a very limited “box” of options:
  78. 78. Crawling into the Man Box • Growing up as boys, we were taught: ▫ men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous, dominating ▫ no pain, no emotions, with the exception of anger - and definitely no fear ▫ men are in charge, which means women are not ▫ men lead, and women should just follow and do what we say ▫ men are superior; women are inferior ▫ men are strong; women are weak ▫ women are of less value, property of men, and objects, particularly sexual objects
  79. 79. What If You Could Choose? • We don’t give our boys a choice in how they are raised – we teach them as we were taught (with some exceptions, of course) ▫ What if you had a choice? ▫ Would you accept a life that is 50-75% smaller so that you can fit into the culturally sanctioned definition of manliness? ▫ Would you want that for your son? ▫ Would you want your daughter to date a man who grew up with those limitations?
  80. 80. The Man Box Leads to Rape Culture • Tony Porter is a co-founder of A Call to Men, and works to end violence against women by promoting healthier attitudes about masculinity • Porter and co-founder Ted Bunch have spread the message of A Call to Men everywhere from the NFL to West Point to the U.N. • Porter once asked a 12-year-old football player how he would feel if "in front of all the players, your coach told you that you were playing like a girl." • The boy responded, "It would destroy me." • Porter was taken aback: "I said to myself, ‘God, if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?’"
  81. 81. The (not so) Hidden Message • In answer to Porter’s question, this is what we are teaching boys about girls: ▫ Only women show emotions, which are bad, so women are inferior ▫ Women cannot be in charge, they are meant to follow, because they are inferior ▫ Women are weaker, so men have the right to take advantage of them • ANY MAN WHO PRESENTS AS FEMININE IN ANY WAY DESERVES THE SAME TREATMENT
  82. 82. Questions Or Comments?
  83. 83. Civilian and Military
  84. 84. Rape Culture • Rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society • Rape culture supports prevalent attitudes that normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape • Rape culture supports the domination and objectification of women • Rape culture is also closely related to slut- shaming and victim blaming, where rape victims are considered at fault for being raped
  85. 85. Rape Culture Says…
  86. 86. Rape Culture Is… • When women who come forward are questioned about what they were wearing • When survivors who come forward are asked, “Were you drinking?” • When people say, “s/he was asking for it” • When we teach women how to not get raped, instead of teaching men not to rape • When, in 31 states, rapists can legally sue for child custody if the rape results in pregnancy • When college campus advisers tasked with supporting the student body, shame survivors who report their rapes • When colleges are more concerned with getting sued by assailants than in supporting survivors • When military rape victims who file charges are discharged with supposed “personality disorders”
  87. 87. Rape Culture and Rape Myths • Rape culture encourages gender violence and perpetuates "rape myths“ ▫ Rape is merely "rough sex“ ▫ Victim is at fault for inviting rape • Rape myths are social messages that predefine gender roles concerning sexual behavior for women ▫ If you weren’t wearing such a short skirt, you would not have been raped ▫ If you weren’t going out drinking with friends, you would not have been raped
  88. 88. Place Responsibility Where it Belongs • In our society, we teach girls and women that men cannot control their sexual impulses • We teach girls and women that it is their responsibility to prevent themselves from being raped • The implication for boys and men is that we have no control over our sexual desires • Consequently, we do not teach boys and men NOT to rape • ONLY We can end rape culture
  89. 89. Men Who Rape… • Insensitive to others/emphasis on self • Belittling behavior or attitudes towards others • Employ negating behavior or comments • Use Hostile and/or threatening language • Are bullies • Display excessive anger • Tend toward brooding/revenge • Can become obsessed • Experience extreme mood swings • Display physical tantrums • Display jock or gorilla mentality • Are mean drunks • Prone to alcohol or drug abuse
  90. 90. Another Take on Men Who Rape… Personality Characteristics: ▫ Various personality profiles of self-reported college rapists have been reported and include the following:  lack of empathy  hostile masculinity  macho/aggressive and dominant and controlling personalities  impulsivity  emotional constriction  underlying anger and power issues with women  (Berkowitz, 1992; Check et al., 1985; Lisak & Roth, 1990; Mehrabian & Epstein, 1972; Rapaport and Burkhart, 1984).
  91. 91. Personality Characteristics • In rapists, the Aggression, Impulsivity, and Suicidality scores, as well as Novelty Seeking, were significantly increased • Scores on Reward Dependence, Self Directedness, and Cooperativeness were decreased • Novelty seeking behavior, impulsiveness, and lack of empathy were found to be common characteristics in rapists • Rapists' aggressiveness seems to be associated with lack of personal intimacies • Personality characteristics of sexual offenders  Giotakos, Vaidakis, Markianos, Christodoulou (2003)
  92. 92. Aggressiveness & Impulsivity • Rape is the use of sexuality to express issues of power and anger • Men rape other men for exactly the same reasons they rape women: to exercise power and control over the victim
  93. 93. Why Men Rape Men • ANY MAN WHO PRESENTS AS FEMININE IN ANY WAY DESERVES THE SAME TREATMENT • This is a likely source of military male sexual abuse and assault • Men who do not fit perfectly into that tiny, restrictive man box become targets
  94. 94. Military Sexual Trauma • As we saw above, many sexual attacks amount to a particularly violent form of hazing • Rape is seen as a humiliating act. It's the “ultimate act of emasculation” • Brian Lewis, a Navy rape survivor we met earlier: ▫ “In a lot of areas of the military, men are still viewed as having wanted it or of being homosexual. That’s not correct at all. It’s a crime of power and control.” ▫ “But also, you’re instantly viewed as a liar and a troublemaker (when a man reports a sex crime), and there’s the notion that you have abandoned your shipmates, that you took a crap all over your shipmates, that you misconstrued their horseplay.”
  95. 95. Again, Rape Is Not about Sex • The criminal justice system (both civilian and military) and society both see stranger rape (the victim does not know the attacker) as “true” rape, rather than acquaintance rape (rape wherein the victim knows the attacker) • If a man is raped by a fellow soldier (remember that the rapist is generally older and of higher rank), it tends to be dismissed as not “real” rape
  96. 96. Only You Can Stop Military Rape
  97. 97. DoD Safe Helpline • The DoD Safe Helpline is a crisis support service for victims of sexual assault • The helpline is available 24 hours a day via web, phone, or text message • The Safe Helpline is operated by the non-profit Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) through a contractual agreement with the department • The helpline can be reached at 877-995-5247 or http://www.safehelpline.org
  98. 98. Call SACASA • We have 24/7/365 crisis phone lines • Male survivors are welcome • Insurance will never know • Commanding officer will never know • Fellow soldiers will never know Crisis Lines: • 520-327-1721 • 800-400-1001 TTY/DD/SMS: 520-327-1721; After Hours, 235-3358
  99. 99. SAFE Intervention Strategies • When should you get involved? Whenever someone could get hurt if the behavior continues. • BUT, bystander intervention only works if you stay safe. These are suggested steps to assess the situation. 1. Identify the problem 2. Decide if the situation could get more dangerous 3. Decide if you can say or do something without becoming a target yourself 4. Choose your action (see the following list)
  100. 100. Bystander Options • If you assess the situation may be dangerous to you or the victim, call base security or 911 Otherwise: • Take your friend home from the party if he is too intoxicated or seems to be acting more drugged than reasonable for his consumption • Keep friends who are drunk or high from going off on their own to secluded places (outdoors, bedrooms, cars) with another person(s) • Intervene – see the following list...
  101. 101. Bystander Intervention Strategies 1. “I” statements • Three parts: ▫ 1. State your feelings ▫ 2. Name the behavior ▫ 3. State how you want the person to respond This focuses on your feelings rather than criticizing the other person 2. Silent Stare ▫ Not all communication is verbal ▫ A disapproving look says far more than words.
  102. 102. Bystander Intervention Strategies 3. Humor ▫ Reduces the tension ▫ Funny doesn’t mean unimportant – do not undermine your intervention 4. Group Intervention ▫ Safety and power in numbers (3 or more is best) ▫ Indicated when someone has a pattern of inappropriate behavior ▫ Present examples of his behavior as evidence of a problem
  103. 103. Bystander Intervention Strategies 5. Bring it Home – Make it Personal ▫ Prevents someone from distancing himself from the impact of his actions. ▫ Prevents someone from dehumanizing his targets. 6. We’re friends, right….? ▫ Reframes the intervention as caring and non- critical  Example: “Hey Jim, as your friend I need to tell you that getting a girl drunk to have sex with her isn’t cool. Come on, let’s go downstairs so she can sleep it off.”
  104. 104. Bystander Intervention Strategies 7. Distraction ▫ Most effective for street harassment ▫ Snaps someone out of their “sexist comfort zone”  Example: Ask a man harassing a woman on the street for directions or the time. ▫ Allows a potential target to move away and/or to have other friends intervene  Example: Spill your drink on the person or interrupt and start a conversation with the person.  These suggestions come from “Stop Abuse at Virginia Tech”
  105. 105. What Else Can Men Do? • Believe someone who discloses a sexual assault, abusive relationship, or experience with stalking or cyber-stalking • Be respectful of yourself and others – Make sure any sexual act is OK with your partner if you initiate • Watch out for your friends: ▫ If you see someone who looks like they are in trouble, ask if they are okay ▫ If you see a friend doing something shady to another person, say something, call him on it
  106. 106. What Else Can Men Do? • Speak up – if someone says something offensive, derogatory, or abusive, let them know that behavior is wrong and you don’t want to be around it ▫ Don’t laugh at racist, sexist, homophobic jokes • Get involved – Become a peer educator, volunteer as a crisis advocate, or volunteer to chaperone a dance at your child’s school • Ending sexual violence begins with us
  107. 107. Questions Or Comments?
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