Training "Let's talk E-Motion". Emotional Intelligence in Consulting.
Emotional Intelligence<br />Magdalena Kishizawa, PeOrgConsult<br />"Knowing others and knowing oneself, in one hundred battles no danger.<br />Not knowing the other and knowing oneself, one victory for one loss.<br />Not knowing the other and not knowing oneself, in every battle certain defeat."<br />Sun Tzu, The Art of War<br />Amsterdam, 20/21.08.2010<br />
Agenda – Let`s talk E-Motions<br />1<br />Emotional Intelligence – What is it?<br />Concept of Multiple Intelligence<br />Levels of Relationships<br />Definition<br />Emotions<br />2<br />Five core abilities of EQ<br />3<br />Emotional Talk<br />4<br />Emotional Intelligence of Groups<br />
Concept of Multiple Intelligence<br />According to researchers (e.g. Howard Gardner, Daniel Goleman) people possess seven different intelligences:<br /><ul><li> ability to organise thoughts sequentially and logically.
ability to notice and make discriminations regarding the</li></ul>moods, temperaments, motivations and intentions of others.<br /><ul><li> ability to understand and express ideas through</li></ul>language.<br />Mathematical-logical <br />Inter-personal<br />Verbal-<br />linguistic <br />Multi-Intelligences<br />Intra-personal<br />Bodigly-<br />kineaesthetic<br />Visual-<br />Spatial<br />Musical<br /><ul><li> having access to one’s own feelings
gaining of knowledge through feedback from physical activity
ability to learn directly through images and to think</li></ul>intuitively without the use of language.<br /><ul><li>sensitivity to tone, pitch and rhythm, and the ability to reproduce them.</li></li></ul><li>Emotional Intelligence versus Intelligence<br />
According to Goleman, Interpersonal and Intrapersonal intelligence belong to Emotional Intelligence (EQ). <br />Emotional Intelligence: Inter- and Intrapersonal Intelligence<br />Interpersonal<br />Effective Communication<br />Conflict Management<br />Recognising and managing Emotions of Others<br />Stress Handling Techniques<br />Self Management<br />Keeping motivated<br />Recognising and managing own Emotions<br />Intrapersonal<br />
Emotional Intelligence (EQ): What it is?<br />Definition<br />Aspects of EQ<br />Improved performance<br /><ul><li>ability to recognize the meanings of emotion and their relationships, and to reason and problem-solve on the basis of them.
Emotional intelligence is involved in the capacity to perceive emotions, assimilate emotion-related feelings, understand the information of those emotions, and manage them.
understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behavior and all.
“What is your EQ? It’s not a number. But emotional intelligence may be best predictor of success in life, redefining what it means being smart.” (Time, 1995)
E.g. partners in a multinational consulting firm, who scored above the median on 9 or more of the 20 competencies delivered $1.2 million more profit from their accounts than did other partners.</li></ul>Literature: Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. R. (2000). Models of emotional intelligence. In R. J. Sternberg (Ed.). Handbook of Intelligence (pp. 396-420). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.<br />
Five Core Abilities of Emotional Intelligence<br />Knowing one’s emotions.<br />Managing emotions leading it, having under control.<br />Motivating oneself.<br />Recognising emotions in others<br />Handling relationships.<br />
Emotions<br />The feelings which we experience can sometimes be very powerful and have a great influence over our behavior. Just by thinking about these emotions can give us a flavor of how powerful they can be.<br />Negative<br />Positive<br /><ul><li>Disgust
Boredom</li></li></ul><li>Ways of Dealing with Emotions<br />According to Mayer, there would appear to be three ways in which people deal with emotions:<br />Self-aware – people are aware of their emotions.<br />Overhelmed– people feel overwhelmed by their emotions.<br />Accepting – people accept their moods.<br />We can react in any of these three ways – depends on circumstances. Sometimes we can be aware of our emotions and can manage them to fit the situation (self-aware).<br />Other days we can become overwhelmed by the situation and be unable to deal with the situation logically in light of our emotions (engulfed).<br />Or we can recognise our emotions and we just accept that we are having a bad day or are in a particularly good mood and not adjust our behavior to accommodate the situation (accepting).<br />
Managing Emotions – Blueprint Method<br />Five steps to solve emotional dilemmas:<br />You identify that your client is in negative mood<br />You realise that as result he is very unlikely to be open to a discussion about project delay<br />You understand that he is in a bad mood, and wisely attribute it to his own overall experiences<br />You manage your emotions by taking the frustration and leverage it is power (energy) to increase your today’s performance<br />
Two Strategies of Emotional Talk 1/2<br />Long Term<br /><ul><li> Identify emotions
Questions to find out why the person is on Emotional Level</li></ul>Open questions, circular questions<br />Screening for key word<br />Docking on key words with the strategy<br />Questionstofind the solutions<br />Scaling questions<br />Decision: what is the best solution for both sides<br /><ul><li> Contract</li></li></ul><li>Asking Questions<br />At the beginning of the “Emotional Talk” we should avoid:<br /> General questions<br /> Closed questions<br /> Giving advises<br /> Rhetoric questions<br /> Leading questions<br /> Multiple questions<br />
Open Questions<br />I have six honest serving men.<br />They taught me all I knew.<br />Their names are what and why and when;<br />And how and where and who.<br />Rudyard Kipling, The Elephants Child, 1902<br />
Two Strategies of Emotional Talk 2/2<br />Short Term<br /><ul><li> Identify emotions
Using ‘I’ Instead of ‘You’<br />When using the word “You” to a customer, your finger “is pointing at the chest” of the customer. <br />It’s better to use the word “I”.<br />
Talking about Own Emotions<br />Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication.<br />Be specific about what do you feel. Vague statements are hard to work on.<br />Avoid accusations in case of negative emotions. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel.<br />Don't generalize. Avoid words like "never" or "always." Such generalizations are usually inaccurate and will heighten tensions.<br />
Talking about Own Emotions<br />Reflection of content and feelings:<br /> To show that you’re understanding the speaker’s experience<br /> To allow the speaker to evaluate his/her feelings after hearing them expressed by someone else<br />
Emotional Group Normsfrom: Vanessa UrchDruskat, Steven B. Wolff. Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups. Harvard Business Review 03/2001<br />Emotional Intelligence in Groups<br />
A Model of Team Effectiveness<br />better decisions,<br />more creative solutions,<br />higher productivity<br />participation, cooperation,<br />collaboration<br />trust, identity, efficacy<br />group emotional intelligence<br />
EI of Groups: Norms That Create Awareness of Emotions - Individual<br />Interpersonal Understanding<br /> Take time away from group tasks to get to know one another.<br /> Have a “check in” at the beginning of the meeting – ask how everyone is doing.<br /> Assume that undesirable behavior takes place for a reason. Find out what that reason is. Ask questions and listen. Avoid negative attributions.<br /> Tell your teammates what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling.<br />Perspective Taking<br /> Ask whether everyone agrees with a decision.<br /> Ask quiet members what they think.<br /> Question decisions that come too quickly.<br /> Appoint a devil’s advocate.<br />
EI of Groups: Norms That Create Awareness of Emotions - Group<br />Team Self-Evaluation<br /> Schedule time to examine team effectiveness.<br /> Create measurable task and process objectives and then measure them.<br /> Acknowledge and discuss group moods.<br /> Communicate your sense of what is transpiring in the team.<br /> Allow members to call a “process check.” (For instance, a team member might say, “Process check: is this the most effective use of our time right now?”)<br />Seeking Feedback<br /> Ask your “customers” how you are doing.<br /> Post your work and invite comments.<br /> Benchmark your processes.<br />
EI of Groups: Norms That Create Awareness of Emotions - Cross-Boundary<br />Organizational Understanding<br /> Find out the concerns and needs of others in the organization.<br /> Consider who can influence the team’s ability to accomplish its goals.<br /> Discuss the culture and politics in the organization.<br /> Ask whether proposed team actions are congruent with the organization’s culture and politics.<br />
EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions - Individual<br />Confronting<br /> Set ground rules and use them to point out errant behavior.<br /> Call members on errant behavior.<br /> Create playful devices for pointing out such behavior. These often emerge from the group spontaneously. Reinforce them.<br />Caring<br />Support members: volunteer to help them if they need it, be flexible, and provide emotional support.<br /> Validate members’ contributions. Let members know they are valued.<br /> Protect members from attack.<br /> Respect individuality and differences in perspectives. Listen.<br />Never be derogatory or demeaning.<br />
EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions - Groups<br />Creating Resources for Working with Emotion<br /> Make time to discuss difficult issues, and address the emotions that surround them.<br /> Find creative, shorthand ways to acknowledge and express the emotion in the group.<br /> Create fun ways to acknowledge and relieve stress and tension.<br /> Express acceptance of members’<br />Creating an Affirmative Environment<br /> Reinforce that the team can meet a challenge. Be optimistic. For example, say things like: “We can get through this” or “Nothing will stop us.”<br /> Focus on what you can control.<br /> Remind members of the group’s important and positive mission.<br /> Remind the group how it solved a similar problem before.<br /> Focus on problem solving, not blaming.<br />
EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions - Groups<br />Solving Problems Proactively<br /> Anticipate problems and address them before they happen.<br /> Take the initiative to understand and get what you need to be effective.<br /> Do it yourself if others aren’t responding. Rely on yourself, not others.<br />
EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions – Cross-Boundaries<br />Building External Relationships<br /> Create opportunities for networking and interaction.<br /> Ask about the needs of other teams.<br /> Provide support for other teams.<br /> Invite others to team meetings if they might have a stake in what you are doing.<br />
About Magdalena Kishizawa<br />Magdalena is a coach and trainer with a successful track record over ten years in providing leadership development support and executive coaching as consultant.<br />She worked for such companies as SAP AG (HR Department at Service & Support Executive Board), Kienbaum Management Consultants GmbH and O&P Consult AG (as consultant)<br />Because of her business and private experiences (like working and living in Germany, Poland and United Kingdom and her personal connection to Japan) Magdalena has a deep understanding of challenges of culture differences in business environment.<br />She studied psychology, business administration and education science; is CIPD member; has finished a course in systemical coaching (accredited by German Psychology Association)<br />Since 2008 is Managing Director at PeOrg Consult Ltd.<br />