Social Networking Impact


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Social Networking Impact

  1. 1. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committee
  2. 2. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology CommitteeOutline  of  the  Event ................................................................................................................ 3  The  Panel  of  Experts  and  Moderator ................................................................................ 3  Article  by  Dr.  Philip  Brown .................................................................................................. 4  Letter  by  Dr.  Buffy  Smith....................................................................................................... 6  Research  Findings  by  Kimberlee  Salmond ..................................................................... 9  Common  Sense  Media  on  Facebook ................................................................................10  Common  Sense  Media  on  Protecting  Privacy...............................................................12  Common  Sense  Media  on  Social  Networking ...............................................................14  List  of  Related  Web  Sites.....................................................................................................16  Technology  Use  at  Bank  Street  School  for  Children  Policy .....................................16  
  3. 3. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committee  Outline  of  the  Event  7:00 – 7:05: Introduction by Stan Brimberg, The Upper School Coordinator7:05-10:00: Introduction by Ayelet Segal, Chair of PA Technology Committee7:10-7:25: Presentation by Kimberlee Salmond, Senior Researcher at The Girl Scouts ResearchInstitute. Presenting recent findings regarding the impact of social networking on girls.7:25-7:35: Safety tips for parents presented by Charles Roos, SFC parent and an Internet Safetyexpert7:35-8:25: Panel of experts on The Impact of Social Networking on Children8:25-9:00: Q&AThe  Panel  of  Experts  and  Moderator    1. Dr. Philip Brown is the Executive Director of the New Jersey Center for Character Education atRutgers University, an expert regarding cyber bulling. Please find below an article about the subjectwritten by Dr. Philip Brown.2. Charles Roos (SFC parent) who is an Internet Safety expert kindly agreed to be on the panel.<>3. Barton Gellman (SFC parent) who is writing about Technology and Privacy issues kindly agreed tobe an expert on the panel. Please see his website: <>4. Kimberlee Salmond is a Senior Researcher at Girl Scout Research Institute. She recentlyconducted a study on the impact of social networking on the lives of 1,000 girls. Please see thewebsite: or scroll below to see the major findings.5. Dr. Buffy Smith, our Upper School Psychologist would kindly join us as an expert on the panel.Please find below a letter from Buffy regarding Cyber Bullying.6. Wendy Apfel, our school Technology Coordinator would kindly join us as an expert on the panel.7. Edo Segal (SFC parent) agreed to be the moderator for the panel. Please see his website:<>
  4. 4. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology CommitteeArticle  by  Dr.  Philip  Brown  HUMILIATION, BULLYING AND CARING IN SCHOOL COMMUNITIES© Philip M. Brown, Ph.D. Director New Jersey Center for Character Education Graduate School ofApplied and Professional Psychology Rutgers UniversityNote prepared for the Workshop on Humiliation and Violent Conflict, Columbia University, New York,November 18-19, 2004.Guilt, humiliation and shame, like most aspects of our emotional life, take place in a social context.In guilt, the self focuses on a behavior that is an interruption of positive social flow: one fells that acertain standard has not been met. When I feel guilty, I sense that I have done something that hasfailed to meet someone’s standard that I implicitly or explicitly accept. I have myself in tow, andunderstand my situation and defend myself or even admit I have wronged and move on with myday. Humiliation however requires another person to raise a question regarding the adequacy of myself in the role in which I am acting. If I am speeding, I may feel guilty about my son watching mebreak the law, but I have the support of many around me who are doing the same thing. However,when I am pulled over by the police for the same behavior and told that I am driving unwisely andrisking the safety of those in my car and other drivers as well, I am humiliated. If my fast drivingcauses a serious accident in which someone else is injured, I feel the pain of shame; I am not just abad driver, but also an unworthy person; the self becomes the object as well as the subject.School is the most powerful public social context for young people, and it is here that the struggleto form a positive social identity tests the resources and sense of self that children and adolescentsbring with them to the daily fray. In general, children’s striving for a sense of belonging,competence and autonomy are promoted by positive, supportive interactions with adults and otherchildren during the school day and diminished or undermined by experiences of humiliation. Becauseschool is a social system defined by rules, boundaries and memes that need to be supported tosurvive, there must be negative, socially painful consequences for violations or discrepant behaviorsthat threaten the coherence of the system and the authority of those whose role it is to sustain it.In this context, humiliation and the fear of being shamed can serve as powerful emotional tools forshaping social behavior as children receive instruction, produce work products, move throughhallways and eat together. When humiliation becomes endemic, a classroom, gym class orlunchroom can become a shaming environment, ruled by anger and aggression and a constantconcern for emotional and physical safety. Good schools, however, find ways to becomecommunities of caring, where values of mutual respect, trust, responsibility and citizenship arereinforced through school policies, rules and interdependent, supportive, appreciative behaviors.Bullying is one of the most common behaviors for maintaining authority and enhancing social statusfor both adults and children in schools. Bulling can be defined as instances1in which the core ethical value of respect for the integrity and dignity of the other person isquestioned or denied through various forms of humiliation. Bullying is aggressive behavior that isintentional, repeated over time, and involves an imbalance of power or strength. A child who isbeing bullied repeatedly typically has a hard time defending him or herself. Bullying can take forms
  5. 5. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committeesuch as:• Physical bullying, (hitting); • V erbal bullying, (teasing); • Nonverbal oremotional bullying, (such as social exclusion); and • Cyber bulling, (sending insulting messages bye-mail). 1In many schools bullying behavior is a sort of incipient or undiagnosed pernicious social virus thatsymbiotically feeds on the social arrangements that support the roles of those in authority andserves as a means for accessing higher social status. In toxic school environments, control throughhumiliation and bulling can sew the seeds of violence, as well.Bullying can be seen when the teacher draws attention to those in the classroom who havemiserably failed an exam, thus making it clear that teacher status is more important than learningsupports. It can be seen when teachers ridicule students to enforce behavioral rules and when theyuse the teacher’s lounge as way to set and enforce norms among other teachers that protect theirrights to determine what matters in the expenditure of time and effort.For kids, it is frequently the cliquish atmosphere of rejection and humiliation that makes asignificant minority of students, (surveys indicate about ay 15-25 percent) very unhappy. As ElliotAronson2 puts it: If kids at the top of the social status pyramid start calling a kid a nerd, then thekids in the second tier of cliques may also begin to tease him because as a way of identifying withthe powerful group. Social rejection that is coupled by humiliation and bullying is like having acontagious disease because other students become afraid of losing social standing themselves ifthey hang out with you.When such social derision becomes pervasive, it can become so painful that some students seriouslycontemplate taking their own lives. A handful do attempt or complete suicide, and some becomeangry enough to lash out at their fellow students almost randomly, as has been the case in some ofthe most tragic episodes of violence in American schools in the last decade in Columbine, Coloradoand Paducah, Kentucky.Students who are the targets of repeated bullying behavior can, and often do, experience extremefear and stress:• Fear of going to school • Fear of using the school bathroom • Fear of the bus ride to andfrom school1Take a Stand. Lend a Hand. Stop Bullying Now! Campaign (U.S. Dept. of HHS) 2Elliot Aronson, Nobody Left to Hate, 20022• Physical symptoms of illness • Diminished ability to learn3There are alternatives to schools with this kind of toxic social organization. Schools which root theirpolicies and practices in agreed upon core ethical in which mutual respect and shared responsibilityfor the culture of the school are paramount can become communities of caring and safe placesconducive to learning and growth. In such schools the most frequent and common disciplinaryissues are dealt with openly, honestly and with a way for the perpetrator to make amends or comeup with a plan to change the behavior next time. Programs that assist school leaders to changetheir school culture and practices with these goals in mind are increasing common and rely on thephilosophical foundations of character education and the research base of social-emotional learningas their structure.
  6. 6. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology CommitteeThe evidence-based Social Decision Making/Problem Solving Program4, for example, teachesstudents to use ‘hassle logs’ to describe an issue that they need to resolve, need help with or needto think about. Students who have committed a infraction of classroom rules or have interpersonalproblems they want to explore are referred to or self-refer to a problem solving lab where they gothrough a self-guided set of specific social-emotional reflections on their situation and work throughproblem-solving and goal-setting steps under adult supervision and support until they are ready torejoin their classmates.Another research-based program, the Caring School Community, features a classroom environmentwhich engages students in conversations about fairness, respect, responsibility, and concern forothers while building positive relationships among students and between teachers and students.Program tools assist students to learn planning, decision-making, and problem-solving related toclassroom life. Research has shown that successful implementation results in:• Greater liking for school and class • Greater enjoyment of helping others learn • Greaterempathy and concern for others • More frequent acts of altruism • Stronger motivation to bekind and helpful • Stronger feelings of social competence • More sophisticated conflictresolution skills • Higher general self-esteem5Witnessing schools in which positive relationships, appreciation, celebration of diversity and a senseof connectedness and common mission dominate everyday life leave one with hope that thepervasive use of humiliation, which is so common in many schools, can be overcome.3Take a Stand. Lend a Hand. Stop Bullying Now! Campaign (U.S. Dept. of HHS) 4http:// 5  by  Dr.  Buffy  Smith  Dear Upper School Parents,Here are some thoughts and guidelines with regard to responding to your child’s concerns aboutteasing or bullying:Keep the Lines of Communication Open: First and foremost, when your child brings a concern aboutteasing or bullying to your attention, an appropriate first response on your part, as a parent, is acelebration (or, at least an internal one) of the fact that your child is turning to you and talking toyou about a very difficult topic. You will want to be mindful of how you respond, and your firstpriority will be to keep the lines of communication open. That probably means that you will notwant to overreact, or respond in a judgmental way, or jump to conclusions, or move too quicklyfrom listening to advising. Initially, your goal will be to keep the conversation going, both in thismoment, and over time, and to listen, in as supportive and encouraging a way as you can muster.Consider Point-of-View: Second, as you listen to your child, be mindful of the fact that you aregetting your child’s take on a situation, and not necessarily the full picture. This isn’t to say thatyour child would intentionally misrepresent a social situation in which he is involved, but rather, tokeep in mind that all of us are apt to see situations from our own unique perspectives. This is onereason that communication with school will be so important; more about that later.It will also be important to keep in mind that whatever is happening to your child is happening toher, and not to you. That is, try not to make assumptions, try to reserve reactions until you
  7. 7. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committeeunderstand what your child is telling you. And try to get a sense of what the experience evokesemotionally for your child, before you impose emotions of your own.Yikes! There’s a Positive Side to It! Whatever is happening, and no matter how upsetting oremotionally laden it is, consider this: teasing or bullying, like many other tough experiences andsituations in life, represents an opportunity for problem solving. As hard as the situation may be, itwill be helpful to your child for you to project a positive attitude that says, “We will tackle this, thereare ways that we can work on this, this can get better, together we can fix this.” Remember: inaddition to your child needing help to resolve this particular situation, she also needs help to learnhow to approach situations like this as they occur throughout the rest of her life. As her parent, youneed to keep your eye on both of these goals.Parsing the Problem: So, approach the teasing or bullying situation as a problem to be taken on,and, over time, talk with your child about attacking it on several fronts. Talk about communicationwith the school, about what your child can do to help himself, about what you can do to help him.If your child is reporting to you a situation in which he is not being directly targeted himself, youcan talk with him about what role he might take, and how he might act as an ally to a peer.Be Aware of the Balance: In a situation in which a child is being teased or bullied, or feels that sheis, it is essential to be in communication with school. Often this is not so straightforward, however,for both developmental and situational reasons. Your Upper School early adolescent or adolescentchild may be hesitant to involve you directly in her life at school. This does not mean that you can’tstill be helpful; it does mean that you need to proceed with sensitivity. You might shape this byasking your child questions like: “This is something people at school need to know; who is the adultat school you feel comfortable talking with about this? Would you like me to give someone atschool a heads up? Shall we go together and speak with your teacher directly? I hear you sayingthat you want to handle this on your own; I think that is a very good first step. Who will you speakto, what do you plan to say?”Your child may be hesitant to talk to someone at school because she thinks that no one will be ableto help, or because she is embarrassed, or because she feels that telling may backfire. It’simportant to hear your child out and not to minimize these concerns. But it is also important tohelp your child move forward from these, and to determine ways in which she can proceed andshare information safely and privately at school. It is important to empower your child; she needsto hear that it is not okay to go to school feeling fearful and targeted, and that a first step is toidentify a trusted adult at school who can help.The Play (Is Often) the Thing: In addition to enlisting the help of school, it is also important andappropriate to talk with your child about how to handle a difficult teasing or bullying situation in themoment. Many children are helped by having rehearsed lines, a script she can evoke and use. It isokay to encourage your child to stick up for herself in this way. It is also appropriate to talk withyour child about the range of options that are available to her in a given situation, including talkingback, using humor, ignoring and walking away, or eliciting immediate help from an adult or frompeers. It is also helpful to talk with your child about avoiding a situation or “buddying up” insituations in which she may feel unsafe or vulnerable.Allies and Bystanders: We often talk about how a person who is not directly involved in a teasing orbullying situation can become involved in support of a targeted child. You can discuss this with yourchild, too, and again, it is important to legitimize whatever concerns emerge about playing this role.Children can struggle mightily with a desire to stand up for someone who is being targeted, on theone hand, and with fear of negative fallout or social stigmatization, on the other. It is important toacknowledge this conflict, and to empower your child to not only make a good decision, but to
  8. 8. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committeestrategize about how to implement it. Statistically, bullying incidents are reduced by 50% whenbystanders stand up and say, “No!”And Three More Points: First, while teasing or bullying is intolerable, and all children are entitled tofeel safe at school, situations in which children are mean to each other are not always asstraightforward as a “bad” child targeting a “good” one. Issues of power and control are part ofgrowing up, and all children go through periods over the course of development in which theyexperiment with the wielding of social power, with exclusion and inclusion, with joining andprohibiting. These behaviors are normal and important experiences in the course of developing asense of self, empathy, self-regulation, and a sense of social responsibility. Behaviors that hurtothers cry out, of course, for adult intervention, but they are not always pathological, and they donot necessarily define who a child is, or who he is becoming.Second, children who are targeted may come to believe that they are because there is somethingdifferent or wrong with them, and it is in this context that teasing or bullying is harmful to self-esteem. In a situation in which your child is unjustly targeted, it is important to actively reassurehim that he is not to blame and not at fault. And of course, it is important to continue to takeadvantage of all opportunities to authentically bolster your child’s positive sense of himselfthroughout development and across venues.And last, when children turn to their parents for help and support in difficult situations, they observeand absorb every aspect of that adult’s response. A situation involving teasing or bullying is alwaysdifficult and emotional for all concerned, but it is also an opportunity for parents to act as rolemodels for their children, and to demonstrate in behavior as well as in words both a passionatedesire to help them, and an ability to enact a sound, calm, and collaborative approach to solving avery thorny problem.We are all here for your child and you, and you may feel free to get in touch with any teacher,administrator or me to help you through a difficult problem.Yours,Buffy
  9. 9. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology CommitteeResearch  Findings  by  Kimberlee  Salmond
  10. 10. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology CommitteeCommon  Sense  Media  on  Facebook
  11. 11. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committee
  12. 12. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology CommitteeCommon  Sense  Media  on  Protecting  Privacy
  13. 13. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committee
  14. 14. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committee  Common  Sense  Media  on  Social  Networking
  15. 15. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committee
  16. 16. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology CommitteeList  of  Related  Web  Sites    1. http://www.commonsensemedia.org2. http://www.theonlinemom.com3. http://www.RespectU.com4. An article by The NY Times http://www.tweenparent.comTechnology  Use  at  Bank  Street  School  for  Children  Policy   STUDENT GUIDELINES, CONDITIONS, RULES AND ACCEPTABLE USE AGREEMENT FOR TECHNOLOGY USE AT BANK STREET SCHOOL FOR CHILDRENTechnology provides wonderful tools that can give us access to information from all over the worldand the ability to communicate in more ways. We can exchange ideas about our studies and findanswers to our questions. We can collect a wide variety of information that can help us betterunderstand the depth and breadth of an issue. Since the tools are powerful and since they maybe used also for entertainment and to move personal goals forward, we have be behaveresponsibly with them. This is especially important in a shared environment like the School forChildren.Below is a list of rules for using computers during the school day and after school in classrooms,computer labs and in the library. The items that concern how computers are used pertain also tocomputers that are brought to school by students (#1, 2, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10). Please read theagreement, sign it and return it to your teacher.
  17. 17. Bank Street School for Children Parents Association Technology Committee 1. I will not use last names, social security numbers, pictures or any personal information that could identify me or anyone else on the Internet. 2. I will not access any personal e-mail accounts, use instant messaging, texting or use a cell phone without a teacherʼs permission or as part of a school activity. 3. I will not tamper with any files, change the configuration of any school computer and I will not alter the work of another person. 4. I will not bypass software that is blocked by adults or try to get around any security measures in place in the building. 5. I will not use the Internet to purchase or sell anything or for any personal business. 6. I will not use games- except those approved by my teacher. I will not download a game or site from the Internet. 7. I will not visit any websites other than those that are clearly connected to school activities. 8. I will not access or print personal, non-educational information on any computer or printer in the building. 9. In working in the computer lab or library during the day and after school, I will only be doing schoolwork and homework and be ready to show my specific assignment to any adult in charge. I must behave properly during that time. 10. I will not upload any software without my teacherʼs permission. 11. I will behave appropriately in the library or computer labs.I have read the above guidelines and I understand and will abide by the conditions and rules inthis agreement. I understand that any violation of these rules may result in the revoking of mytech privileges and that appropriate disciplinary actions may be taken. Date_____________ Name of User___________________________________ Signature of User________________________________ Signature of Parent or Guardian______________________________