INTPs in Relationship E.J. Walton [email_address]

The INTP Alone

INTP

Question What happens when two INTPs go walking?

Two INTPs Walking

Answer – Part One Nothing very concrete…

Answer – Part Two …until one gets frustrated and the shadow emerges

Our EFSJ Shadow

Two INTPs Walking After One Shadow Emerges

The dynamic begins to shift One is attacking and the other is still unaware of what’s going on during this simple walk

Now Two Shadows Battle

The Cycle Y’s better Only if you’re insane I said X

Answer – Part Three What happens next is anybody’s guess.

Time and Stress

INTP and Shadow ESFJ Stress

INTP in Relationships Positives: using analytical and critical skills to solve problems focusing attention on the central issue providing intellectual insight suggesting ideas that achieve long and short term aims viewing information objectively Blind Spots: being too intellectual finding too many flaws, and not accepting imperfect but 'good enough' solutions not taking account of others' feelings suggesting ideas and then appearing to change his/her mind leave others to worry about implementation once the major problems have been solved clinging to a principle at the expense of relationships and harmony

Positives:

using analytical and critical skills to solve problems

focusing attention on the central issue

providing intellectual insight

suggesting ideas that achieve long and short term aims

viewing information objectively

Blind Spots:

being too intellectual

finding too many flaws, and not accepting imperfect but 'good enough' solutions

not taking account of others' feelings

suggesting ideas and then appearing to change his/her mind

leave others to worry about implementation once the major problems have been solved

clinging to a principle at the expense of relationships and harmony

Under Stress Learned behavior gives way to natural style: withdraw to think about the central issue that needs attention suggest various ideas, and use the feedback received to support the intellectual analysis debate the issue from an intellectual point of view, and leave it very late before making a decision criticize others efforts and ignore their feelings

Learned behavior gives way to natural style:

withdraw to think about the central issue that needs attention

suggest various ideas, and use the feedback received to support the intellectual analysis

debate the issue from an intellectual point of view, and leave it very late before making a decision

criticize others efforts and ignore their feelings

Extreme Stress The INTP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESFJ: expressing intense negative emotions towards others being very sensitive to criticism becoming preoccupied with details, without any logical basis interpreting facts or events in a very subjective way

The INTP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESFJ:

expressing intense negative emotions towards others

being very sensitive to criticism

becoming preoccupied with details, without any logical basis

interpreting facts or events in a very subjective way

Observations What gets presented is limited What gets thought about is huge, but not expressed What is believed about the self is rarely confirmed by the other The shadow emerges expressing big negatives Linked together during stress, shadows do all the outer work, doing more damage (which may explain why talking rarely works)

What gets presented is limited

What gets thought about is huge, but not expressed

What is believed about the self is rarely confirmed by the other

The shadow emerges expressing big negatives

Linked together during stress, shadows do all the outer work, doing more damage (which may explain why talking rarely works)

Finding Agreement Shared Beliefs Of 1 & 2 INTP – 2’s needs INTP -1’s needs

Holding it Together Present Future Past Hopes

Resources Team Technology, UK http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/mb-types/intp.htm Myers Briggs Conversations with Dr. Roland Havis

Team Technology, UK

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/mb-types/intp.htm

Myers Briggs

Conversations with Dr. Roland Havis