YOU might be RURAL if….the neighbors refer to yourhome as “John’s old place” because that’s who lived    there 40 years ago
YOU might be RURAL if….you pay more attention to theclouds, sun, moon, rain, wind, and snow than you do to the   clock or ...
YOU might be RURAL if….    you’ve hidden     your accentduring a job interview
YOU might be RURAL if….you live outside The Beltway
YOU might be RURAL if….  your 4th grade teacher,    your church deacon, your uncle, your neighborand the guy in exam room ...
YOU might be RURAL if….you remember when the first  national chain restaurant    opened in your town --and when it closed ...
YOU might be RURAL if….you did not submit a response  to requests for “rural ifs”   because of inadequate    Internet conn...
YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve been lectured by a doctor  or nurse half your age to quitsmoking, and you know for a fact th...
YOU might be RURAL if….the only foreigners you’ve ever met   run the local    restaurant
YOU might be RURAL if….buying 50 Shades of Grey at your local Walmart is outbecause odds are good youll  see someone you k...
YOU might be RURAL if….   you point blankrefuse to discuss coalwith anyone outside     your family
YOU might be RURAL if….you travel more than 30 minutes to receive primary or dental care             and    buy groceries ...
YOU might be RURAL if….both the main highways  in your county are referred to simply as    "the four lane"
YOU might be RURAL if….   dialing a wrongnumber still gets you aperson you know whohas the info you need
YOU might be RURAL if….your job requires safety equipmentprovided by your for-profit company
YOU might be RURAL if….   the Walmart closes at 9 pmthe grocery store closes at 8 pmthe video store is 24/7 self-serve eve...
YOU might be RURAL if….  $25,000 is a  high salary
YOU might be RURAL if….    going to the post office       takes two hours  —and you avoid it in Springbecause you don’t li...
YOU might be RURAL if….  you can get a signal inyour house if you stand on the toilet and hold your   cell phone in the air
YOU might be RURAL if….  traveling distance is measured in time   rather than miles--and travel plans are made   around li...
YOU might be RURAL if….you actually needFour Wheel Drive  on your truck
YOU might be RURAL if….A kid walking a sheep on a leash doesn’t startle you     --or a pig     --or a duck
YOU might be RURAL if…. you hate   RAM
YOU might be RURAL if….   in your extended family are:a soldier; a meth manufacturer; apreacher; an addict; and a student ...
YOU might be RURAL if…. you know what“bless your heart”   really means
YOU might be RURAL if….you know three Richmond jokes   --and your friends from    Richmond don’t know     that you know them
YOU might be RURAL if….each of these games is familiar:    Cow Pat Bingo    Red Light Race More Local Than Thou
YOU might be RURAL if….you lost your  virginity  outdoors
YOU might be RURAL if….even though you hated  yourself afterward, you helped organize apoverty tour in hopes of   securing...
YOU might be RURAL if….you recognize thisas the single biggestimpediment toregional programplanning
YOU might be RURAL if….       in any given week you eat:             fast food        homegrown vegetables  an item specia...
YOU might be RURAL if….    you routinely call yourneighbors before leaving work to see if they need anything           fro...
YOU might be RURAL if….       you didn’t know        you were ruraluntil someone else told you
YOU might be RURAL if….you can nameall the winters    in Spring
YOU might be RURAL if….a friend from high school died before graduation    in a road accident     involving alcohol
YOU might be RURAL if….    you have a half-dozen      snappy comebacks   for snake handling jokesbut sometimes it’s just n...
YOU might be RURAL if….nepotism is expected     from your  elected officials
YOU might be RURAL if….you know better than to step on     a grave
YOU might be RURAL if….   your doctor, pastor,banker and child’s teacher    all keep livestock
YOU might be RURAL if….  you’ve ever thickened your accent because you realizedthe person you were talking to          was...
YOU might be RURAL if….    you dress up to go  to the Farmers Marketputting on a bra IS dressing up
YOU might be RURAL if….   a conference on issues pertaining to you can’t beheld in your region because  state officials wo...
YOU might be RURAL if…. fried balogna onwhite bread meant Mama loved you
YOU might be RURAL if….  you know to NEVER talk      poorly of anyone because theyre probablyrelated to the person youre  ...
YOU might be RURAL if….you know what a haint, abooger, and a painter are—and you believe in them
YOU might be RURAL if….this photo  makesyou smile
YOU might be RURAL if….   you’re sick of hearing  how Grandpa could eat a whole hog for breakfastbecause he did physical w...
YOU might be RURAL if….  Federal grant writingseason produces a flurryof old friends calling your  office to “reconnect”
YOU might be RURAL if….they’re buggies   not carts
YOU might be RURAL if….you live in, or within sight of, the home where one of your parents was born
YOU might be RURAL if….Santa bringing coal for Christmas is a    happy thing
YOU might be RURAL if….your last name is more importantthan your degree
YOU might be RURAL if….  a friend asks you forexamples of “you mightbe rural if” and you only      use real ones
YOU might be RURAL if….  you have peed in acoffee can rather than go to the outhouse      after dark
YOU might be RURAL if….you know the difference   between Granny, Memaw, and Mamaw
YOU might be RURAL if….you still cravewelfare cheese
YOU might be RURAL if….  you’re intelligent, not educated, and you knowwhat that’s worth in the city     and in the county
YOU might be RURAL if….when walking in the woods, youknow what to do if you chance          upon a still(shout your Papaw’...
YOU might be RURAL if….your child doesn’t have    a friend with a  different skin color
YOU might be RURAL if….in Summer you are almost  completely vegetarian,  in Winter you eat  meat and potatoes
YOU might be RURAL if….          you’ve done this
YOU might be RURAL if….driving to the store topick up just one itemis out of the question
YOU might be RURAL if….rared, swap, fit, tradeand rasslin are part of    your everyday     vocabulary
YOU might be RURAL if…. you learned to shoot before  you learned to play piano,--and you don’t point a gun  unless you int...
YOU might be RURAL if….your favorite placeto have coffee is on  your front porch
YOU might be RURAL if…. you value oldpeople because  they are old
YOU might be RURAL if….you LOVE to talk tocity reporters about   the Santa Train
YOU might be RURAL if….   when it rains,   your landline   quits working
YOU might be RURAL if….  when it snows, your  neighbor clears yourdriveway with his tractor
YOU might be RURAL if….     homeless people fromelsewhere have nowhere to gobecause there are no shelters;   local people ...
YOU might be RURAL if…. south of Roanoke ≠“Southwest Virginia”north of Richmond ≠   “and vicinity”
YOU might be RURAL if…. you don’t mow yourlawn, you bush hog it
YOU might be RURAL if….people still talk about  the good old dayswhen the door factory    was operating
YOU might be RURAL if….you are proud that your facility has one of the  two elevators in the          county
YOU might be RURAL if…. at any given moment,you know exactly whereyour candles, hurricane    lamps and oil are
YOU might be RURAL if….this photo makes you sad
YOU might be RURAL if…. school board meetingsare considered excellent     entertainment
YOU might be RURAL if…. you routinely usefairy stones as gifts
YOU might be RURAL if….  Charlottesville folk saying   “FARRRRRR Southwest Virginia” make you laugh—unless it’s a funding ...
YOU might be RURAL if….You live in : Accomack Alleghany Augusta Bath Bland Brunswick Buchanan  Buckingham Carroll Charlott...
YOU might be RURAL if….no one between the ages of 22 and 45 lives in your town
YOU might be RURAL if….   the locally-exported   produce is picked byinvisible Spanish speakers
YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve spent a summerworking at The Piggery  or on a fishing boat
YOU might be RURAL if….when doing public health planning, you factor in natural barriers people won’t cross to get care
YOU might be RURAL if….you have a love/hate  relationship with       tourism
YOU might be RURAL if….the sound of crickets andfrogs is the last thing you   hear before falling           asleep
YOU might be RURAL if….  as a health worker,you’ve ever had to leave  your car behind and walk to reach a patient
YOU might be RURAL if….these terms are oxymoronic:Government Assistance  Fresh Country Air  Idyllic Small Town Public Tran...
YOU might be RURAL if….rurality and stupidity are  not synonyms in your programming, planning    policy, or mindset
YOU might be RURAL if….  you attended  a two-teacher   schoolhouse
YOU might be RURAL if….this photo makes you tired
YOU might be RURAL if….the domestic violence in  your neighborhood is   the best-kept secret     everyone knows
YOU might be RURAL if….   you had to think a moment the first time someone asked aboutyour “faith community”
YOU might be RURAL if….the road you live on has moretwists than a pot of spaghetti      but not guard rails           shou...
YOU might be RURAL if….same sex partners in your community fly   below the radar
YOU might be RURAL if….old-fashioned doesn’tsound like a put-down
YOU might be RURAL if….    your neighbor’s grandkids do donuts   in your drivewaywith their four wheeler
YOU might be RURAL if….your fifth grade teacher   is your daughter’s  fifth grade teacher
YOU might be RURAL if….state lines are really,  really a nuisance
YOU might be RURAL if….having a baby, cancer,  major surgery orcolonoscopy requires two hours of travel
YOU might be RURAL if….your region’s biggest  export is college      students
YOU might be RURAL if…. guarding personal and family privacyis a carefully honed      social skill
YOU might be RURAL if…. your sexual organshave been examined    by a camera
YOU might be RURAL if….  as a clinician, you knowyour professional diagnosis will be secondary to your patient’s friend’s ...
YOU might be RURAL if….   Honey Boo Boo     bores you but you’re secretlyrooting for “Mama”
YOU might be RURAL if…this was posted on your Facebook status this month
YOU might be RURAL if….the commute to work:is beautifulpasses more deer than cars andConfederate flags than Americantakes ...
YOU might be RURAL if…. you were an adultbefore you realizedmost people thinkraspberries are red
YOU might be RURAL if….at least one grandparent listed "corn farmer" on     legal documents
YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve stood in line to get your teeth pulled
YOU might be RURAL if….   you bought goatsbecause mowing grasson the slope was a pain
YOU might be RURAL if….giving the first three digits    of a phone number       is unnecessary
YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve ever translated  for an out-of-town    English speaker
YOU might be RURAL if…. window shopping atLowe’s, Dollar General, or the Dollar Tree is a      good outing
YOU might be RURAL if…. counting the number ofstoplights in your county   takes only one hand
YOU might be RURAL if….counting the number of people you know with  diabetes takes more    than two hands
YOU might be RURAL if….   the fastest Internetconnection you can access  continually times out        the server
YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve called 911 about a cow on the highway
YOU might be RURAL if….Macy’s is a parade  not a store
YOU might be RURAL if….chickens walk freely    on your road
YOU might be RURAL if….this photo makes you sigh
YOU might be RURAL if….salad greens come  from the yard
YOU might be RURAL if…. ‘pinto beans &   cornbread’  is redundant
YOU might be RURAL if….  “neighbors” means actions not proximity
YOU might be RURAL if….you know what acan of whupass isand how to use it
YOU might be RURAL if….youve been running aco-op for 20 years but  it was just called       "family"
YOU might be RURAL if…. youre consideredtoo poorly educated to write your own    health plan
YOU might be RURAL if….baccer and boggins   are familiar
YOU might be RURAL if….at least three membersof your extended family      are in a band
YOU might be RURAL if…. you dread yourphysician retiringfor many reasons
YOU might be RURAL if….you know the difference between  a wiener bun and a chili bunyou fish for food, not recreation  you...
YOU might be RURAL if….you understandBoomhauer onKing of the Hill
YOU might be RURAL if….Green Eggs and Ham   confused you     as a child
YOU might be RURAL if….you learned to drive thefarm tractor at age 10 –  and have taught this
YOU might be RURAL if…. you introduce a song asone you learned from your  ex-daughter-in-laws     step-grandfather
YOU might be RURAL if….almostevery wayyou turnlooks likea park
…almost
YOU might be RURAL if….you are very, very over married cousin jokes
YOU might be RURAL if….     you genuinelyunderstand why peoplesay “dont have a cow"
YOU might be RURAL if….when receiving directions you understand where  the Millers old barn       used to be
YOU might be RURAL if….      you’re proud of      your coal minerand you swear he’ll be the  last one in your family
YOU might be RURAL if….you know that Jewelweed grows next to Poison Ivy  for a very good reason
YOU might be RURAL if….   “resources” is notthe first word you think    about the ocean   or the mountains
YOU might be RURAL if….   your volunteer firefightingdepartment has 40 members but only 2 last names on the roster  all yo...
YOU might be RURAL if….Sarbanes-Oxley    what?
YOU might be RURAL if…. you were baptized in a creek     you can line a hymn  your parents wouldn’t take you     to Grandp...
YOU might be RURAL if….a six-pack of beeris as good as cash
YOU might be RURAL if….despite having excellentfirefighters, what starts    to burn will finish   before help arrives
YOU might be RURAL if….when the Red Cross  shows up after adisaster, locals bring them food baskets
YOU might be RURAL if….   your mother ever chaseda bear away from the garbage  with a rock, but won’t visit     DC with yo...
YOU might be RURAL if….this is how   your daughtersplan to getout of town
YOU might be RURAL if….   you see both sets ofgrandparents at least once per week--or could, if the   families were talkin...
YOU might be RURAL if….   even the mildest  predictions of snowempty your grocery store   of meat and milk
YOU might be RURAL if….  “hillbilly” and “redneck” are affectionate synonyms           for “rural”when used by someone who...
YOU might be RURAL if….cable TV arrived in the college years your remember the summer your       town got a traffic light ...
YOU might be RURAL if….  you know at leastthree mamaws under    the age of 35
YOU might be RURAL if….your cast iron skilletwas inherited rather  than purchased
YOU might be RURAL if…. you laughed knowingly at    a letter to the editor     complaining about  a reference to Abingdona...
YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve responded, “Hey, Thanks!” when a man  in a suit says, “It’s a different world there”
YOU might be RURAL if…. peas are planted onValentine’s Day, even ifyou have to drop them  through the snow
YOU might be RURAL if….it’s true if the Almanac       and/or your grandparents say it is
YOU might be RURAL if….weaning (of anything)  starts when the  Almanac says so
YOU might be RURAL if….  your neighborshave straight pipes
YOU might be RURAL if….you watch your Richmondcolleagues’ eyes pop whenyou point out your service      area on a map
YOU might be RURAL if….   twice a year,the neighbor bales  your front yard
YOU might be RURAL if….gunshot victims in your ER are fromhunting accidents,   not drive-bys
YOU might be RURAL if….  you understand thedistance measurement     “over yonder”
YOU might be RURAL if….the hospital parking lot and helicopter landingpad are the same thing
YOU might be RURAL if…. Fall weather =chainsaw injuries
YOU might be RURAL if….childhood choresincluded plucking     chickens
YOU might be RURAL if….     you know what“as the crow flies” means   especially to someone     driving after dark
YOU might be RURAL if….your husband and sonwill NEVER be able to live near neighbors
YOU might be RURAL if….    App-a-latch-an    App-a-lay-shunyou know it’s important
YOU might be RURAL if….  you accurately identify road killby a passing glance     at the fur
YOU might be RURAL if….   FRIED   SPAM
YOU might be RURAL if….   an unknown person      wearing a suit    inspires suspicionit doubles if the suit is expensive
YOU might be RURAL if….  rural is not a one-size-fits-allword in your mind
You might be rural if….          you know          what you’re          fighting for
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Welch

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Welch

  1. 1. YOU might be RURAL if….the neighbors refer to yourhome as “John’s old place” because that’s who lived there 40 years ago
  2. 2. YOU might be RURAL if….you pay more attention to theclouds, sun, moon, rain, wind, and snow than you do to the clock or weather forecast
  3. 3. YOU might be RURAL if…. you’ve hidden your accentduring a job interview
  4. 4. YOU might be RURAL if….you live outside The Beltway
  5. 5. YOU might be RURAL if…. your 4th grade teacher, your church deacon, your uncle, your neighborand the guy in exam room #2 are the same person
  6. 6. YOU might be RURAL if….you remember when the first national chain restaurant opened in your town --and when it closed again
  7. 7. YOU might be RURAL if….you did not submit a response to requests for “rural ifs” because of inadequate Internet connectivity
  8. 8. YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve been lectured by a doctor or nurse half your age to quitsmoking, and you know for a fact this child’s parents set tobacco to help fund his/her education
  9. 9. YOU might be RURAL if….the only foreigners you’ve ever met run the local restaurant
  10. 10. YOU might be RURAL if….buying 50 Shades of Grey at your local Walmart is outbecause odds are good youll see someone you know while you’re in there
  11. 11. YOU might be RURAL if…. you point blankrefuse to discuss coalwith anyone outside your family
  12. 12. YOU might be RURAL if….you travel more than 30 minutes to receive primary or dental care and buy groceries or clothes
  13. 13. YOU might be RURAL if….both the main highways in your county are referred to simply as "the four lane"
  14. 14. YOU might be RURAL if…. dialing a wrongnumber still gets you aperson you know whohas the info you need
  15. 15. YOU might be RURAL if….your job requires safety equipmentprovided by your for-profit company
  16. 16. YOU might be RURAL if…. the Walmart closes at 9 pmthe grocery store closes at 8 pmthe video store is 24/7 self-serve everyone has the veterinarian’s home phone number
  17. 17. YOU might be RURAL if…. $25,000 is a high salary
  18. 18. YOU might be RURAL if…. going to the post office takes two hours —and you avoid it in Springbecause you don’t like having to shout over the baby chicks
  19. 19. YOU might be RURAL if…. you can get a signal inyour house if you stand on the toilet and hold your cell phone in the air
  20. 20. YOU might be RURAL if…. traveling distance is measured in time rather than miles--and travel plans are made around livestock births
  21. 21. YOU might be RURAL if….you actually needFour Wheel Drive on your truck
  22. 22. YOU might be RURAL if….A kid walking a sheep on a leash doesn’t startle you --or a pig --or a duck
  23. 23. YOU might be RURAL if…. you hate RAM
  24. 24. YOU might be RURAL if…. in your extended family are:a soldier; a meth manufacturer; apreacher; an addict; and a student who went to UVA swearing to come home again, but didn’t
  25. 25. YOU might be RURAL if…. you know what“bless your heart” really means
  26. 26. YOU might be RURAL if….you know three Richmond jokes --and your friends from Richmond don’t know that you know them
  27. 27. YOU might be RURAL if….each of these games is familiar: Cow Pat Bingo Red Light Race More Local Than Thou
  28. 28. YOU might be RURAL if….you lost your virginity outdoors
  29. 29. YOU might be RURAL if….even though you hated yourself afterward, you helped organize apoverty tour in hopes of securing funding
  30. 30. YOU might be RURAL if….you recognize thisas the single biggestimpediment toregional programplanning
  31. 31. YOU might be RURAL if…. in any given week you eat: fast food homegrown vegetables an item special ordered on the Netsomething someone at the table killed
  32. 32. YOU might be RURAL if…. you routinely call yourneighbors before leaving work to see if they need anything from town
  33. 33. YOU might be RURAL if…. you didn’t know you were ruraluntil someone else told you
  34. 34. YOU might be RURAL if….you can nameall the winters in Spring
  35. 35. YOU might be RURAL if….a friend from high school died before graduation in a road accident involving alcohol
  36. 36. YOU might be RURAL if…. you have a half-dozen snappy comebacks for snake handling jokesbut sometimes it’s just not worth it
  37. 37. YOU might be RURAL if….nepotism is expected from your elected officials
  38. 38. YOU might be RURAL if….you know better than to step on a grave
  39. 39. YOU might be RURAL if…. your doctor, pastor,banker and child’s teacher all keep livestock
  40. 40. YOU might be RURAL if…. you’ve ever thickened your accent because you realizedthe person you were talking to was a snob
  41. 41. YOU might be RURAL if…. you dress up to go to the Farmers Marketputting on a bra IS dressing up
  42. 42. YOU might be RURAL if…. a conference on issues pertaining to you can’t beheld in your region because state officials won’t stay in your local hotels
  43. 43. YOU might be RURAL if…. fried balogna onwhite bread meant Mama loved you
  44. 44. YOU might be RURAL if…. you know to NEVER talk poorly of anyone because theyre probablyrelated to the person youre telling
  45. 45. YOU might be RURAL if….you know what a haint, abooger, and a painter are—and you believe in them
  46. 46. YOU might be RURAL if….this photo makesyou smile
  47. 47. YOU might be RURAL if…. you’re sick of hearing how Grandpa could eat a whole hog for breakfastbecause he did physical work
  48. 48. YOU might be RURAL if…. Federal grant writingseason produces a flurryof old friends calling your office to “reconnect”
  49. 49. YOU might be RURAL if….they’re buggies not carts
  50. 50. YOU might be RURAL if….you live in, or within sight of, the home where one of your parents was born
  51. 51. YOU might be RURAL if….Santa bringing coal for Christmas is a happy thing
  52. 52. YOU might be RURAL if….your last name is more importantthan your degree
  53. 53. YOU might be RURAL if…. a friend asks you forexamples of “you mightbe rural if” and you only use real ones
  54. 54. YOU might be RURAL if…. you have peed in acoffee can rather than go to the outhouse after dark
  55. 55. YOU might be RURAL if….you know the difference between Granny, Memaw, and Mamaw
  56. 56. YOU might be RURAL if….you still cravewelfare cheese
  57. 57. YOU might be RURAL if…. you’re intelligent, not educated, and you knowwhat that’s worth in the city and in the county
  58. 58. YOU might be RURAL if….when walking in the woods, youknow what to do if you chance upon a still(shout your Papaw’s name and that you’re leaving now)
  59. 59. YOU might be RURAL if….your child doesn’t have a friend with a different skin color
  60. 60. YOU might be RURAL if….in Summer you are almost completely vegetarian, in Winter you eat meat and potatoes
  61. 61. YOU might be RURAL if…. you’ve done this
  62. 62. YOU might be RURAL if….driving to the store topick up just one itemis out of the question
  63. 63. YOU might be RURAL if….rared, swap, fit, tradeand rasslin are part of your everyday vocabulary
  64. 64. YOU might be RURAL if…. you learned to shoot before you learned to play piano,--and you don’t point a gun unless you intend to kill what you’re aiming at
  65. 65. YOU might be RURAL if….your favorite placeto have coffee is on your front porch
  66. 66. YOU might be RURAL if…. you value oldpeople because they are old
  67. 67. YOU might be RURAL if….you LOVE to talk tocity reporters about the Santa Train
  68. 68. YOU might be RURAL if…. when it rains, your landline quits working
  69. 69. YOU might be RURAL if…. when it snows, your neighbor clears yourdriveway with his tractor
  70. 70. YOU might be RURAL if…. homeless people fromelsewhere have nowhere to gobecause there are no shelters; local people are homeless because of family dynamics
  71. 71. YOU might be RURAL if…. south of Roanoke ≠“Southwest Virginia”north of Richmond ≠ “and vicinity”
  72. 72. YOU might be RURAL if…. you don’t mow yourlawn, you bush hog it
  73. 73. YOU might be RURAL if….people still talk about the good old dayswhen the door factory was operating
  74. 74. YOU might be RURAL if….you are proud that your facility has one of the two elevators in the county
  75. 75. YOU might be RURAL if…. at any given moment,you know exactly whereyour candles, hurricane lamps and oil are
  76. 76. YOU might be RURAL if….this photo makes you sad
  77. 77. YOU might be RURAL if…. school board meetingsare considered excellent entertainment
  78. 78. YOU might be RURAL if…. you routinely usefairy stones as gifts
  79. 79. YOU might be RURAL if…. Charlottesville folk saying “FARRRRRR Southwest Virginia” make you laugh—unless it’s a funding meeting
  80. 80. YOU might be RURAL if….You live in : Accomack Alleghany Augusta Bath Bland Brunswick Buchanan Buckingham Carroll Charlotte Culpeper Dickenson Essex Floyd Grayson Greensville Halifax Henry Highland King George Lancaster Lee LunenburgMadison Mathews Mecklenburg Middlesex Northampton Northumberland Nottoway Orange Page Patrick Prince Edward Pulaski Rappahannock Richmond Rockbridge Russell Shenandoah Smyth Southampton TazewellWestmoreland Wise Wythe Bedford City Buena Vista City Covington City Emporia City Franklin City Galax City Lexington City Martinsville City Norton City Radford City Staunton City Waynesboro City --and if you know their differences
  81. 81. YOU might be RURAL if….no one between the ages of 22 and 45 lives in your town
  82. 82. YOU might be RURAL if…. the locally-exported produce is picked byinvisible Spanish speakers
  83. 83. YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve spent a summerworking at The Piggery or on a fishing boat
  84. 84. YOU might be RURAL if….when doing public health planning, you factor in natural barriers people won’t cross to get care
  85. 85. YOU might be RURAL if….you have a love/hate relationship with tourism
  86. 86. YOU might be RURAL if….the sound of crickets andfrogs is the last thing you hear before falling asleep
  87. 87. YOU might be RURAL if…. as a health worker,you’ve ever had to leave your car behind and walk to reach a patient
  88. 88. YOU might be RURAL if….these terms are oxymoronic:Government Assistance Fresh Country Air Idyllic Small Town Public Transportation
  89. 89. YOU might be RURAL if….rurality and stupidity are not synonyms in your programming, planning policy, or mindset
  90. 90. YOU might be RURAL if…. you attended a two-teacher schoolhouse
  91. 91. YOU might be RURAL if….this photo makes you tired
  92. 92. YOU might be RURAL if….the domestic violence in your neighborhood is the best-kept secret everyone knows
  93. 93. YOU might be RURAL if…. you had to think a moment the first time someone asked aboutyour “faith community”
  94. 94. YOU might be RURAL if….the road you live on has moretwists than a pot of spaghetti but not guard rails shoulders or a painted center line
  95. 95. YOU might be RURAL if….same sex partners in your community fly below the radar
  96. 96. YOU might be RURAL if….old-fashioned doesn’tsound like a put-down
  97. 97. YOU might be RURAL if…. your neighbor’s grandkids do donuts in your drivewaywith their four wheeler
  98. 98. YOU might be RURAL if….your fifth grade teacher is your daughter’s fifth grade teacher
  99. 99. YOU might be RURAL if….state lines are really, really a nuisance
  100. 100. YOU might be RURAL if….having a baby, cancer, major surgery orcolonoscopy requires two hours of travel
  101. 101. YOU might be RURAL if….your region’s biggest export is college students
  102. 102. YOU might be RURAL if…. guarding personal and family privacyis a carefully honed social skill
  103. 103. YOU might be RURAL if…. your sexual organshave been examined by a camera
  104. 104. YOU might be RURAL if…. as a clinician, you knowyour professional diagnosis will be secondary to your patient’s friend’s opinion
  105. 105. YOU might be RURAL if…. Honey Boo Boo bores you but you’re secretlyrooting for “Mama”
  106. 106. YOU might be RURAL if…this was posted on your Facebook status this month
  107. 107. YOU might be RURAL if….the commute to work:is beautifulpasses more deer than cars andConfederate flags than Americantakes longer in harvest season
  108. 108. YOU might be RURAL if…. you were an adultbefore you realizedmost people thinkraspberries are red
  109. 109. YOU might be RURAL if….at least one grandparent listed "corn farmer" on legal documents
  110. 110. YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve stood in line to get your teeth pulled
  111. 111. YOU might be RURAL if…. you bought goatsbecause mowing grasson the slope was a pain
  112. 112. YOU might be RURAL if….giving the first three digits of a phone number is unnecessary
  113. 113. YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve ever translated for an out-of-town English speaker
  114. 114. YOU might be RURAL if…. window shopping atLowe’s, Dollar General, or the Dollar Tree is a good outing
  115. 115. YOU might be RURAL if…. counting the number ofstoplights in your county takes only one hand
  116. 116. YOU might be RURAL if….counting the number of people you know with diabetes takes more than two hands
  117. 117. YOU might be RURAL if…. the fastest Internetconnection you can access continually times out the server
  118. 118. YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve called 911 about a cow on the highway
  119. 119. YOU might be RURAL if….Macy’s is a parade not a store
  120. 120. YOU might be RURAL if….chickens walk freely on your road
  121. 121. YOU might be RURAL if….this photo makes you sigh
  122. 122. YOU might be RURAL if….salad greens come from the yard
  123. 123. YOU might be RURAL if…. ‘pinto beans & cornbread’ is redundant
  124. 124. YOU might be RURAL if…. “neighbors” means actions not proximity
  125. 125. YOU might be RURAL if….you know what acan of whupass isand how to use it
  126. 126. YOU might be RURAL if….youve been running aco-op for 20 years but it was just called "family"
  127. 127. YOU might be RURAL if…. youre consideredtoo poorly educated to write your own health plan
  128. 128. YOU might be RURAL if….baccer and boggins are familiar
  129. 129. YOU might be RURAL if….at least three membersof your extended family are in a band
  130. 130. YOU might be RURAL if…. you dread yourphysician retiringfor many reasons
  131. 131. YOU might be RURAL if….you know the difference between a wiener bun and a chili bunyou fish for food, not recreation you know how to can meat
  132. 132. YOU might be RURAL if….you understandBoomhauer onKing of the Hill
  133. 133. YOU might be RURAL if….Green Eggs and Ham confused you as a child
  134. 134. YOU might be RURAL if….you learned to drive thefarm tractor at age 10 – and have taught this
  135. 135. YOU might be RURAL if…. you introduce a song asone you learned from your ex-daughter-in-laws step-grandfather
  136. 136. YOU might be RURAL if….almostevery wayyou turnlooks likea park
  137. 137. …almost
  138. 138. YOU might be RURAL if….you are very, very over married cousin jokes
  139. 139. YOU might be RURAL if…. you genuinelyunderstand why peoplesay “dont have a cow"
  140. 140. YOU might be RURAL if….when receiving directions you understand where the Millers old barn used to be
  141. 141. YOU might be RURAL if…. you’re proud of your coal minerand you swear he’ll be the last one in your family
  142. 142. YOU might be RURAL if….you know that Jewelweed grows next to Poison Ivy for a very good reason
  143. 143. YOU might be RURAL if…. “resources” is notthe first word you think about the ocean or the mountains
  144. 144. YOU might be RURAL if…. your volunteer firefightingdepartment has 40 members but only 2 last names on the roster all your county’s firefighters are volunteers
  145. 145. YOU might be RURAL if….Sarbanes-Oxley what?
  146. 146. YOU might be RURAL if…. you were baptized in a creek you can line a hymn your parents wouldn’t take you to Grandpa’s church--everyou know what ‘Church of Christ’ is
  147. 147. YOU might be RURAL if….a six-pack of beeris as good as cash
  148. 148. YOU might be RURAL if….despite having excellentfirefighters, what starts to burn will finish before help arrives
  149. 149. YOU might be RURAL if….when the Red Cross shows up after adisaster, locals bring them food baskets
  150. 150. YOU might be RURAL if…. your mother ever chaseda bear away from the garbage with a rock, but won’t visit DC with you because she’s afraid of muggers
  151. 151. YOU might be RURAL if….this is how your daughtersplan to getout of town
  152. 152. YOU might be RURAL if…. you see both sets ofgrandparents at least once per week--or could, if the families were talking to each other
  153. 153. YOU might be RURAL if…. even the mildest predictions of snowempty your grocery store of meat and milk
  154. 154. YOU might be RURAL if…. “hillbilly” and “redneck” are affectionate synonyms for “rural”when used by someone who shares your accent
  155. 155. YOU might be RURAL if….cable TV arrived in the college years your remember the summer your town got a traffic light you’re still waiting for Wireless
  156. 156. YOU might be RURAL if…. you know at leastthree mamaws under the age of 35
  157. 157. YOU might be RURAL if….your cast iron skilletwas inherited rather than purchased
  158. 158. YOU might be RURAL if…. you laughed knowingly at a letter to the editor complaining about a reference to Abingdonas “FAR southwest Virginia”
  159. 159. YOU might be RURAL if….you’ve responded, “Hey, Thanks!” when a man in a suit says, “It’s a different world there”
  160. 160. YOU might be RURAL if…. peas are planted onValentine’s Day, even ifyou have to drop them through the snow
  161. 161. YOU might be RURAL if….it’s true if the Almanac and/or your grandparents say it is
  162. 162. YOU might be RURAL if….weaning (of anything) starts when the Almanac says so
  163. 163. YOU might be RURAL if…. your neighborshave straight pipes
  164. 164. YOU might be RURAL if….you watch your Richmondcolleagues’ eyes pop whenyou point out your service area on a map
  165. 165. YOU might be RURAL if…. twice a year,the neighbor bales your front yard
  166. 166. YOU might be RURAL if….gunshot victims in your ER are fromhunting accidents, not drive-bys
  167. 167. YOU might be RURAL if…. you understand thedistance measurement “over yonder”
  168. 168. YOU might be RURAL if….the hospital parking lot and helicopter landingpad are the same thing
  169. 169. YOU might be RURAL if…. Fall weather =chainsaw injuries
  170. 170. YOU might be RURAL if….childhood choresincluded plucking chickens
  171. 171. YOU might be RURAL if…. you know what“as the crow flies” means especially to someone driving after dark
  172. 172. YOU might be RURAL if….your husband and sonwill NEVER be able to live near neighbors
  173. 173. YOU might be RURAL if…. App-a-latch-an App-a-lay-shunyou know it’s important
  174. 174. YOU might be RURAL if…. you accurately identify road killby a passing glance at the fur
  175. 175. YOU might be RURAL if…. FRIED SPAM
  176. 176. YOU might be RURAL if…. an unknown person wearing a suit inspires suspicionit doubles if the suit is expensive
  177. 177. YOU might be RURAL if…. rural is not a one-size-fits-allword in your mind
  178. 178. You might be rural if…. you know what you’re fighting for

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