Xscape Negotiation Training

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Presentation for a health care executive retreat for women on negotiation for women

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  • Every time we teach our negotiation course, we ask our women questions about their attitudes toward, experiences of, and preferences for the outcome of negotiation. On a 1 to 10 scale, the most consistently similar answer we get both before and after the month-long course is that women value relationships over money and that, at a minimum, they want their bargaining partner to get as good a deal as possible while at the same time the negotiator gets as good a deal as she can for herself.
  • When asked what we believe we deserve to be paid for our work, we undervalue ourselves by between 3 and 30% The wage gap is one-third
  • When we are asked to work until we believe we ’re entitled to the $X we’re told we’ll be paid, we work 22 percent longer and 10% faster than men
  • Three levels of agreement
  • When preparing to negotiate a settlement, we generally think in terms of distributing the risk of loss among the parties.
  • Xscape Negotiation Training

    1. 1. Xscape Negotiation Training Victoria Pynchon, J.D., LL.M ADR Services, Inc. , Century City, California and She Negotiates Consulting and Training on the Web
    2. 2. wake up! The Northridge earthquake occurred on January 17, 1994 at 4:31 AM Pacific Standard Time in Reseda, a neighborhood in the city of Los Angeles, California, lasting for about 45 seconds. The earthquake had a "strong" moment magnitude of 6.7, but the ground acceleration was one of the highest ever instrumentally recorded in an urban area in North America.
    3. 3. Negotiation is a conversation leading to agreement
    4. 4. in a mixed motive exchange Compete for scarce resources Collaborate for mutual gain
    5. 5. Negotiate this . . .
    6. 6. Negotiate these . . .
    7. 8. Do you want some coffee? Only if you’re having some Well, do you want some? Do you? Well, I’m going to make some Great! I’ll have some too!
    8. 9. <ul><li>Let’s have lunch or coffee . . . </li></ul><ul><li>Small talk . . . </li></ul><ul><li>How’s business? </li></ul><ul><li>Me too . . . . </li></ul><ul><li>I was hoping we might be able to do business together . . . . </li></ul><ul><li>Here’s what I bring to the table </li></ul><ul><li>I thought it might benefit you to have . . . </li></ul><ul><li>My rate is $_____ (MORE THAN YOU WANT) </li></ul>
    9. 10. Could we talk about this later? I appreciate it but it was not what I was expecting We must not be on the same page My product is worth . . . .
    10. 11. Responses to Conflict <ul><li>Suppression </li></ul><ul><li>Avoidance </li></ul><ul><li>Resolution </li></ul><ul><li>Transformation </li></ul><ul><li>Transcendence </li></ul>
    11. 12. Dispute Resolution Tactics <ul><li>Yielding/Ingratiation </li></ul><ul><li>Shaming </li></ul><ul><li>Persuasive argumentation </li></ul><ul><li>Promises of future action </li></ul><ul><li>Threats of future action </li></ul><ul><li>Physical force </li></ul>
    12. 14. recognize the opportunity to negotiate
    13. 17. Women tend to value relationship more than money
    14. 18. tit for tat S is for Shakedown Artist copyright 2010 Reason Press
    15. 19. The Prisoners’ Dilemma <ul><li>If u both play ur Y card, u each earn 2 points . </li></ul><ul><li>If u both play ur X card, u each earn 3 points. </li></ul><ul><li>If u play ur X card & ur partner plays her Y card, u earn 0 & ur partner earns 5 points . </li></ul><ul><li>If u play Y card & ur partner plays her X card, u earn 5 points & ur partner earns 0 </li></ul><ul><li>Begin play by holding ur card of choice up to ur chest. </li></ul>
    16. 20. We measure our work by what we need
    17. 21. We compare our income to our women friends’
    18. 22. often leading us to value ourselves less than male peers
    19. 23. We over-deliver to our clients and superiors and under-deliver to ourselves
    20. 24. We work 22% longer and 10% faster for the same reward
    21. 26. we can close the gap NOW
    22. 27. monkey economy 50 million years
    23. 28. ANCHORING When we set our value in the market we set our own future value; we set our women colleague ’s value and we set the value for our children and children’s children Image credit istockphoto.com 2010
    24. 29. Recalibrate our Market value
    25. 30. Sk for it
    26. 31. we all have universal tendencies of thought called cognitive biases universal ways of thinking about what motivates other people
    27. 32. But we never learned to read one another’s minds <ul><li>Suspicion followed </li></ul>P is for Paranoid copyright 2010 Reason Press We needed to cooperate to survive
    28. 33. <ul><li>What do we most want to know </li></ul>
    29. 34. What the HECK are they THINKING?
    30. 35. and will it be harmful to me?
    31. 36. Will they cooperate
    32. 37. or attack ?
    33. 38. How can I make them do what I want them to do?
    34. 39. we read signs and symbols in an effort to control our own destiny
    35. 40. and make common cognitive errors
    36. 41. We see patterns where none exist Clustering Illusion
    37. 42. we discount everything our bargaining partners say reactive devaluation
    38. 43. confirmation bias we search for and interpret information in a way that confirms our preconceptions
    39. 44. <ul><li>Cognitive Biases Prevent us from learning Other ’s mind </li></ul><ul><li>what do they want/need </li></ul><ul><li>what do they have of value </li></ul><ul><li>how do they value it </li></ul><ul><li>why do they want what they are seeking </li></ul><ul><li>Prevent us from accurately assessing </li></ul><ul><ul><li>perils </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>opportunities </li></ul></ul>
    40. 45. Getting what you want Copyright 2010 Reason Press
    41. 46. Negotiate from Strength You are as strong as you believe yourself to be L is for Lawyer copyright 2010 Reason Press
    42. 47. how can we reach mutually beneficial and durable agreements? By ascertaining their interests, preferences, priorities, needs, desires, constraints, strengths, and weaknesses
    43. 48. Z is for Zen Master copyright 2010 Reason Press Collaborative Problem Solving
    44. 49. Ask Diagnostic Questions C is for Coward copyright 2010 Reason Press
    45. 51. <ul><li>What are my intended outcomes and interests? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Preferences, priorities, needs, desires, fears, aspirations, bottom line </li></ul></ul><ul><li>What are their possible interests and outcomes? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Put yourself in their shoes </li></ul></ul><ul><li>What are the options? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Potential points of agreement </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Differences that might be dove-tailed </li></ul></ul>Q is for Questioner copyright 2010 Reason Press
    46. 52. <ul><li>Compatibility (issues not in conflict) </li></ul><ul><li>logrolling, or trading off concessions on low-priority issues for gains on higher priority issues </li></ul><ul><li>trading differential time preferences </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Allocating more initial outcomes to the more impatient party </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Allocating greater profits over a longer period to the more patient party </li></ul></ul>T is for Them and Us copyright 2010 Reason Press
    47. 53. <ul><li>adding issues not inherent in the initial negotiation framework </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Bonuses </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Flex-time </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Best associates </li></ul></ul><ul><li>contingent contracts </li></ul><ul><ul><li>If I bring in $X this year, I ’ll receive Y% of it </li></ul></ul>T is for Them and Us copyright 2010 Reason Press
    48. 54. Framing <ul><li>Present Losses as Gains </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Strong tendency to prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>a service business ’ most important assets go down the elevator every night and you have to give them a good reason to come back </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>the cost of replacing you </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>competitor ’s deal would be a loss because – they’re not as nimble, creative, resourceful . . . </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Frame your proposal in your favor </li></ul><ul><ul><li>state your qualities as what your client needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>state your settlement proposal as what your opponent ’s client needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>state your deal terms as what your negotiation partner prefers, prioritizes, needs, and desires </li></ul></ul>
    49. 55. <ul><li>Make contingent concessions, i.e., if you ’ll raise your offer to $150K, I’ll lower my demand to $200,000K </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Creates appearance of concession </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Almost risk free </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Label concessions & demand reciprocity </li></ul><ul><li>Stress difficulty in making concession </li></ul><ul><ul><li>This will cut our profit razor thin </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>If I make this concession, you should be willing to promise me partnership next year </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Concessions & Reciprocity </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>
    50. 56. Distributive Bargaining <ul><li>The process by which the parties distribute between themselves what they believe to be a fixed “pie” of money, goods or services </li></ul><ul><li>A Zero Sum exchange in which whatever one side gains, the other side loses </li></ul><ul><li>Parties move toward resolution through a series of concessions </li></ul>
    51. 57. Competitive Bargaining Image credit istockphoto.com 2010 <ul><li>High initial demands </li></ul><ul><li>Maintain them throughout </li></ul><ul><li>make few (and small) concessions </li></ul><ul><li>adhere to a high level of aspiration </li></ul><ul><li>obtain as much information as possible </li></ul><ul><li>give away little </li></ul><ul><li>bluff </li></ul><ul><li>mislead </li></ul><ul><li>threaten retaliatory action if the other side does not comply. </li></ul>
    52. 58. Difficult people
    53. 59. Behind every accusation is a cry for help D is for Drama Queen copyright 2010 Reason Press
    54. 60. <ul><li>They ’re not difficult, they are uninformed </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Educate them about their true interests, consequences of their actions </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Help them understand what is in their best interest </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>May have misunderstood or ignored a crucial piece of information </li></ul></ul>I is for Idiot copyright 2010 Reason Press
    55. 61. <ul><li>They ’re not evil; they have hidden interests </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Personal (unrelated to you or deal) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Relational (related to you but not to the deal, i.e., “face”) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Political, social, cultural </li></ul></ul>O Is for Outlaw copyright 2010 Reason Press
    56. 62. <ul><li>They are not irrational; they have hidden constraints </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Institutional </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Precedential </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Promises to others </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Deadlines </li></ul></ul>
    57. 63. <ul><li>People err in one direction or the other by: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Prioritizing the relationship & saying “yes” when you want/need to say “no” or </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Prioritizing their own power by brusquely saying “no” or </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Take middle ground of avoidance saying nothing & hoping a problem won ’t arise </li></ul></ul>F is for Friend copyright 2010 Reason Press
    58. 64. Practice practice practice
    59. 65. <ul><li>Negotiate retail </li></ul><ul><li>Ask for something </li></ul><ul><ul><li>You know they ’ll say no to </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>You know they ’ll say yes to </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Collect a dozen “no’s” in the next two weeks </li></ul><ul><li>Set your price 2x higher than normal </li></ul><ul><li>Have a difficult conversation asking diagnostic questions </li></ul><ul><li>Teach your children </li></ul><ul><li>Teach your spouse </li></ul><ul><li>Make a game out of it </li></ul>
    60. 66. K is for Kin copyright 2010 Reason Press You can have it all Just not at the same time

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