ALA Presentation Negotiating Beyond Gender

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The super secrets of great negotiators, both men and women. I gave this presentation to the Association of Legal Administrators. That's why there's a story about law firm management in it. I always tailor my trainings to the people I'm training (you'd think all speakers would do this but they don't)

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  • Board of Directors
  • ALA Presentation Negotiating Beyond Gender

    1. 1. ALA Seminar NegotiatingPink and Blue Victoria Pynchon, Esq.She Negotiates Coaching and Training SheNegotiates.com She Negotiates at ForbesWoman
    2. 2. Everynegotiation isan attempt to resolve a conflict
    3. 3. • see the big picture• work through steps• share experiences• learn what both sides could gain Bargaining• focus on what both sides need Advantages• attempt to satisfy both parties needs
    4. 4. BARGAININGDISADVANTAGES • Value relationship over money • Don’t like anchoring high • Afraid asking for too much will make bargaining partner withdraw • Work faster and longer for same benefit • Don’t recognize the opportunity to negotiate
    5. 5. • feel advantage• feel entitled Bargaining Advantages• less likely to back down• view negotiation from more self-serving perspective• stronger speakers• seek more power• intimidate
    6. 6. BargainingDisadvantages • Little inquiry into partner’s needs/desires • Tends to move quickly toward threat • Won’t share information • Doesn’t believe win-win possible or desirable
    7. 7. Perceived Relative Deprivation +Injurious Event =Naming, Blaming and Claiming
    8. 8. • $250 million antitrust lawsuit• Lose 3 associates• originating partner knows nothing• client hires new trial team• Several colleagues know I’m looking• Business manager – “I’m concerned for you” – “Absent favorable recommendation, no move”
    9. 9. STAKEHOLDERSNEWCOUNSEL ME SENIOR me YOU CLIENT PARTNER
    10. 10. Whatconflict?
    11. 11. NEW If you complain,COUNSEL you won’t have this client’s business ever me again
    12. 12. WHAT DOES EVERYONE WANT?NEWCOUNSEL CLIENT me SENIOR PARTNER
    13. 13. Getting Them to Do What They Don’t Want to Do
    14. 14. INGRATIATION
    15. 15. PROMISES
    16. 16. THREATS
    17. 17. SHAMING
    18. 18. GAMESMANSHIP
    19. 19. PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
    20. 20. Mutual Benefit NegotiationNEWCOUNSEL ME SENIOR PARTNER CLIENT
    21. 21. Ask Diagnostic Questions • Who • What • When • Where • Why • How
    22. 22. Identify Interests
    23. 23. Reason Giving • 98% compliance • 97% compliance • 60% compliance
    24. 24. PUT AS MANY OPTIONSON THE TABLE AS POSSIBLE
    25. 25. MAKE CONCESSIONSDEMAND RECIPROCITY
    26. 26. LOG ROLL
    27. 27. Negotiating from aPosition of Weakness
    28. 28. Behind everyaccusation is a cry for help
    29. 29. • Value your piece of the puzzle • View yourself as powerful & an influence for good – Power of personality/presence – Power of expertise • Deepen relationships • Set agenda & deliver the goodsGloria Feldt, former PP CEO, No Excuses - Nine Ways – Lead staff rather thanWomen Can Change the Way follow “boss” We Think about Power – Empower yourself & take action
    30. 30. Are they liars, cheats and thieves or do they have hidden interests. – Personal (unrelated to you or deal) – Relational (related to you but not to deal, i.e., “face”) – Political, social, cultural
    31. 31. • Are they difficult or simply uninformed – Educate them about their true interests, consequences of their actions, our BATNA – Help them understand what is in their best interest – Determine whether they’ve misunderstood or ignored a crucial piece of information
    32. 32. Are they irrational or are they operating under hidden constraints – Institutional – Precedential – Promises to others • Hidden stakeholders – Deadlines
    33. 33. Close!

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