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DEALING WITH ASSHOLES
WITHOUT PUNCHING THEM
IN THE FACE
@vcagwin	
  
#noassholes	
  
THE DIRTY DOZEN
1.  Personal Insults
2.  Invading one’s “personal territory”
3.  Uninvited physical contact
4.  Threats an...
RUN!
NEGATIVE EFFECTS
•  Reduced innovation and creativity
•  Reduced cooperation and cohesion
•  Higher rates charged by outsi...
SNIPERS
COMPLAINERS
h7p://www.biz.uiowa.edu/bizblog/wp-­‐content/uploads/2011/12/milton-­‐office-­‐space.jpg	
  
SILENT PEOPLE
THE KNOW IT ALL
h7p://www.criEcaltwenEes.in/wp-­‐content/uploads/2010/12/social-­‐network-­‐movie-­‐review_211010124406.jp...
• The	
  criEcal	
  parent	
  –	
  disciplinarian	
  and	
  judgmental	
  
• The	
  nurturing	
  parent	
  –	
  protecEve	...
TAKING CONTROL
P	
  
A	
  
C	
  
P	
  
A	
  
C	
  
P	
  
A	
  
C	
  
P	
  
A	
  
C	
  
Complimentary	
  
TransacEon	
  
Cr...
ASK QUESTIONS
CALL THEM OUT,
BUT COME PREPARED.
I VS YOU
h7p://www.ohmygahh.com/wp-­‐content/uploads/2013/08/harrison-­‐ford-­‐finger-­‐point-­‐conan-­‐2013.jpg	
  
EMPATHY
MAKE FRIENDS
GET PERSPECTIVE FROM COLLEAGUES
h7p://www.antoniogenna.net/friends/download/friends05.jpg	
  
SUGAR & SPICE
ALL THINGS NICE
h7p://www.shaunareid.com/2013/04/if-­‐anyone-­‐has-­‐lost-­‐a-­‐duck.html	
  
REMAIN CALM
WHAT EVER YOU DO,
DON’T THROW A TANTRUM.
h7p://www.billdesowitz.com/wp-­‐content/uploads/2012/05/Hulk-­‐2.jpg	...
CHECK YOURSELF
BEFORE YOU
WRECK YOURSELF
ICE CUBE
h7p://www.mycustomer.com/sites/default/files/styles/608x350/public/images...
Dealing with Assholes
Dealing with Assholes
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Dealing with Assholes

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UX professionals deal with people all the time. But what if they are assholes? Learn how to use Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis to respond without being an asshole yourself and other tips to prevent punching people in the face.

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Transcript of "Dealing with Assholes"

  1. 1. DEALING WITH ASSHOLES WITHOUT PUNCHING THEM IN THE FACE @vcagwin   #noassholes  
  2. 2. THE DIRTY DOZEN 1.  Personal Insults 2.  Invading one’s “personal territory” 3.  Uninvited physical contact 4.  Threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal 5.  Sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems 6.  Withering email flames 7.  Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims 8.  Public shaming or “status degradation” rituals 9.  Rude interruptions 10.  Two-faced attacks 11.  Dirty Looks 12.  Treating people as if they are invisible The  No  Asshole  Rule  by  Robert  Su7on  
  3. 3. RUN!
  4. 4. NEGATIVE EFFECTS •  Reduced innovation and creativity •  Reduced cooperation and cohesion •  Higher rates charged by outsiders •  Inability to attract good talent The  No  Asshole  Rule  by  Robert  Su7on  
  5. 5. SNIPERS
  6. 6. COMPLAINERS h7p://www.biz.uiowa.edu/bizblog/wp-­‐content/uploads/2011/12/milton-­‐office-­‐space.jpg  
  7. 7. SILENT PEOPLE
  8. 8. THE KNOW IT ALL h7p://www.criEcaltwenEes.in/wp-­‐content/uploads/2010/12/social-­‐network-­‐movie-­‐review_211010124406.jpg  
  9. 9. • The  criEcal  parent  –  disciplinarian  and  judgmental   • The  nurturing  parent  –  protecEve  and  soothing  PARENT • RaEonal,  objecEve  and  posiEve  communicaEon   • OOen  mediates  between  the  parent  and  the  child   parts  of  our  personality.   ADULT   • The  duEful  child  –  submissive  and  obedient   • The  free/irraEonal  child  –  creaEve  and  a7enEon   seeking   CHILD   NATURAL RESPONSES Transac0onal  Analysis  by  Eric  Berne  
  10. 10. TAKING CONTROL P   A   C   P   A   C   P   A   C   P   A   C   Complimentary   TransacEon   Crossed   TransacEon   Transac0onal  Analysis  by  Eric  Berne  
  11. 11. ASK QUESTIONS CALL THEM OUT, BUT COME PREPARED.
  12. 12. I VS YOU h7p://www.ohmygahh.com/wp-­‐content/uploads/2013/08/harrison-­‐ford-­‐finger-­‐point-­‐conan-­‐2013.jpg  
  13. 13. EMPATHY
  14. 14. MAKE FRIENDS GET PERSPECTIVE FROM COLLEAGUES h7p://www.antoniogenna.net/friends/download/friends05.jpg  
  15. 15. SUGAR & SPICE ALL THINGS NICE h7p://www.shaunareid.com/2013/04/if-­‐anyone-­‐has-­‐lost-­‐a-­‐duck.html  
  16. 16. REMAIN CALM WHAT EVER YOU DO, DON’T THROW A TANTRUM. h7p://www.billdesowitz.com/wp-­‐content/uploads/2012/05/Hulk-­‐2.jpg  
  17. 17. CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF ICE CUBE h7p://www.mycustomer.com/sites/default/files/styles/608x350/public/images/Ice%20Cube.png  
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